Parent's Double Standards

[VanHelsingh]

@ simran345 - You soon learn who your real friends and well-wishers are when you hit rock-bottom. The best one I've heard is "We came to the door but he never opened it. He must have been sleeping." At 2.00pm in the flipping afternoon??!!? I've never slept past 8am even at my worst, and with my condition I can't lie down for more than 5 hours.

It's just lip service from these people so my mother doesn't feel upset that no-one stood by us at our time of need. Nobody wants to know a person when he / she's hit hard times but when the good times start rolling then the door-bell doesn't stop ringing!

The great thing is Akal Purakh is breaking all these flimsy social ties for me when (if) I do eventually get on my feet. It really is true that we have NOBODY in this world, but what we take with us in terms of kamayee. I only wish I'd learnt this a few years earlier... :blush2: :biggrin2:

All I can say to those who have difficult relationships with their parents is just try to prove them wrong. Help around the house when you're not asked, do some chores when they least expect it, etc. Eventually you'll want to start doing these things by yourself and not because you're expecting praise. I find parents like to see their kids pre-occupied.

[Guest RavindaSingh]

lol@ravindra, well who cares if I'm kanjoos in that area. I'm not going to spend money that god gives me on other peoples parties, who havent asked about me, or even bothered to pick up the phone to ask about me, when my health has been on rockbottom. When relatives and friends cannot give u the support and cant be bothered, and their only excuse is "asi busy c". Then they expect me to go to a party, take them presents and turn up out of the blue, like nothing has happened, to support their "party". And when I get there cant eat the food, as it wont suit me, cant sit for long. No thanks, if people are only going to remember others when its party time or wedding time, then call me kanjoos, i dont care. But I would rather spend that money on my own family or give it to somebody who needs it.

Then they say "tusi kade phone ni karde". Yeahhhhh well dont that remind you of someone!

Come to think of it, I think I've never held a party either in my life. Never celebrated anything. The only party was my wedding day, even that wasnt a party, as I wasnt part of it. busy stressing out and trying to keep hold of myself. I must be real kanjoos-maki-choos!

Woah chill bhanji i was jus kiddin -__- but yeah fairplay i get the same thing but family or relatives are sometimes like that i guess i mean thats panjabi culture i suppose but tbh at the end of the day parents are still parents (related back to topic) and well theyre your first Guru when youre born so you need to respect them no matter how or what they say at the end of the day its important to do the seva of others and lower yourself u get me (This wasnt aimed at u bhanji) just a general opinion.

[simran345]

@Ravindra, I know paji u was kiddin, thus i wrote lol. Buts its true isnt it, some parents do go to parties, etc for those people that dont support them. They need to realise that what's the point. For years my family did this, then suddenly woke up one day, and realised what's the point. We only do it for status, to look good infront of other relatives or people from the same pind. When in fact nobody gives a ****. Has life really got that busy that we dont have time to call to ask how anybody is anymore?

The world has changed, but I'm glad I'm kanjoos, when it comes to these things. What people dont realise is their money is given by god, by however means. If I had spare money to throw lavish parties, I wouldnt I would rather spend it on something for the house, or self or give it to charity. It's unbelievable to what expenses our community goes to on parties. Nowadays a birthday party seems rather like a wedding.

@Kalyugi, yes you are right, it is true nobody is ours in this world. We are all going to do our duties and go. But the time we are here, we should not hurt anybody or make them feel inferior.

[simran345]

@kalyugi, lol 2pm in afternoon asleep., Yeah i heard that one from our relatives. They used the same dialouge. But if u ever hear this one: " Asi geye c, door kholee nai. Jad asi bindoh ch vekia oh sofeh piche lukee c. Fir asi fone kea tanu vekia, kendi una di billi honi". Then you know thats me. lolz......

[_singhni_]

What's wrong 2pm sleep? lol I sleep weekend afternoons after busy week at work

[VanHelsingh]

@kalyugi, lol 2pm in afternoon asleep., Yeah i heard that one from our relatives. They used the same dialouge. But if u ever hear this one: " Asi geye c, door kholee nai. Jad asi bindoh ch vekia oh sofeh piche lukee c. Fir asi fone kea tanu vekia, kendi una di billi honi". Then you know thats me. lolz......

Yeah spot-on! :lol2:

My kitchen is at the front of my house and right next to my front door so if I sit in the kitchen I can see whoever comes and goes. Once during a sweltering summer a few years ago, I was sitting in the kitchen (because it's quite cool in there during the afternoons) and I was just reading from about 12pm to 4pm. The window was slightly open as I'd mown the lawn the day before.

Anyway we get a phone-call from one our relatives in the evening and the lady (it always is a lady, lol) says "We came to see 'Kaljugi' at 3pm but he didn't open the door". I whisper to my mother to say "Tell the lady on the phone I went to get the lawnmower serviced so I could cut the grass as the front lawn looks unsightly and overgrown". The lady says "Yes, we were thinking why the grass was so long. It looks like it hadn't been cut since before the winter". :nono:

She lied because if she really had visited us she'd have seen the lawn had been freshly mown the day before. So, you can see how our people are complete blaggers. Just say you didn't want to visit. Why lie?

[chatanga]

Anyway we get a phone-call from one our relatives in the evening and the lady (it always is a lady, lol) says "We came to see 'Kaljugi' at 3pm but he didn't open the door". I whisper to my mother to say "Tell the lady on the phone I went to get the lawnmower serviced so I could cut the grass as the front lawn looks unsightly and overgrown". The lady says "Yes, we were thinking why the grass was so long. It looks like it hadn't been cut since before the winter".

mega lol, bro that is proper desi way of exposing someone.

[VanHelsingh]

mega lol, bro that is proper desi way of exposing someone.

I was completely unaware about how to use these kind of desi tactics but I've had to learn them (quickly) because people were taking the pashaab! :biggrin2: