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Guest HonorTheSangat

I got into Hankar Please Help Suicidal Thoughts :(

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Guest HonorTheSangat

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh Gurmukh Pyareo

I need help. I am a 16 yeah old Amritdhaari and I was going great with my simran seva reciting Gurbani etc.

I was going great until me and my friends at school were playing this game as a joke"who can guess what the person was thinking game".

when we were playing it was all fun and games until my friend said me to read theirs, IDK HOW but i guesed everybodys answers or thoughts It was crazy, everybody or that little group was shocked and i told them to keep everything a secret, knowing that i may lose my avasta or IF I EVEN had a anything. (IT MIGHT OF BEEN just some lucky guesses)

Then those friends came to me everyday asking me to read thier minds I did'nt want to and i did'nt try too but i did it agian :(. My friends (GORE) started seeing me as a hardout sant i did'nt like it at first but, i started playing along with it. i started ACTING like a baba (PAKHANDI ONE) :(. It went on for a term or two of school and christians at school came for help and what not. THEN one day I could'nt DO ANYTHING SIMRAN recite Gurbani, Seva. BUT STILLL ACTED PAKHANDI. for the whole year

I stopped talking to everyone at school for last three terms of THIS YEAR, but still have a lot of trouble doing anything, SANTS GIANIS have told me stuff to do but i still don't im stuck in my mind IN MY EGO. NOW im in HARDCORE DEPRESSION and i don't know what to do. I have been having Sucisidal Thoughts :(. i cant do anything im failling school now iI CANT BELIEVE I acted PAKHANDI, I feel like guru ji hates me. I know he doesnt but he is probably angry at me for acting like a guru or baba :'(. ALL I WANT NOW IS TO GET RID OF THIS FEELING, I TOLD MUM AND DAD ABOUT IT but they think im Full of it :(.... im going to pesh about everything

PLEASE HELP I CANT DO SIMRAN. etc HOW DO I STOP THIS FEELING PLEASE HELP, GURMUKH PYAREO I FALL AT YOUR FEET PLEASE...... .............. FROM A MAHAPAAPI pakhandi dog (me)

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Guest Harv

The mind is always changing up or down. Thats just part and parcel of ,life! Don't dwell on the past now, its gone. You managed to read the minds of a few of your so called mates and they think you're a sant but who you are you really? Its not just about sitting down crossed legs and reciting gurbani and doing japa recitation.Yes it'll give you peace of mind for how long though? A FEW hours or so and then bang back with your suicidal thoughts. Instead accept who you are, surrender your thoughts and feelings to God etc. The mind needs to realise the root which is God. he is the source of all your good and crazy thoughts so let it be. Why do you get involved? Find out this I, this individual, does it exist? There is only One God who is playing the game so surrender to the puppeteer. There is no you so why suffer, chillout and enjoy your life and be as you are. First thing's first recognise your true self and live in hukam.

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Okay first go to a mirror.While your there slap yourself as hard as you can.Do this five times.

After go take a ishnaan and go to the gurduwara.Listen to the whole kirtan,Katha,dhadi,hukamnama.When the hukamnama is over and the kirtan sohila the path is over and guru ji is taken to sukhasan ask the granthi what the hukamnama meant and what ang it's on.That hukamnama will be your answer.

Come home and sit on a new white sheet and start doing simran.Dont think just do it.

The slapping is a must.It take you out of your hankaar and makes you feel like a dog.You have to go to the gurduwara with nimrita not hankaar so the slapping is a must.

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

Look on the bright side, you have realised that it was a mistake. Not many have the guts to admit that in Sangat. Ridh-sidh or extraordinary powers come and go, a true devotee must recognise it as the will of God and not his own. ਕਬੀਰ ਨਾ ਹਮ ਕੀਆ ਨ ਕਰਹਿਗੇ ਨਾ ਕਰਿ ਸਕੈ ਸਰੀਰੁ ॥ Kabeer Naa Ham Keeaa N Karehigae Naa Kar Sakai Sareer || Kabeer, I have not done it; I shall not do it; my body cannot do it. ਕਿਆ ਜਾਨਉ ਕਿਛੁ ਹਰਿ ਕੀਆ ਭਇਓ ਕਬੀਰੁ ਕਬੀਰੁ ॥੬੨॥ Kiaa Jaano Kishh Har Keeaa Bhaeiou Kabeer Kabeer ||62|| What do I know as to what my God has done, that Kabir is acclaimed all over. {2 ਸਲੋਕ (ਭ. ਕਬੀਰ) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੧੩੬੭ ਪੰ. ੧੫ Salok Bhagat Kabir Page:1367 Line: 15} There is a Sakhi behind this incident, try and seek wisdom from it.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

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Dearest _HonourThe Sangat_ Jee,

Thank you so much for trusting to share your problem on here so others can try to assess your situation and try to help you out. It is great that at your age you are Amritdharee and love Sikhi. Carry on doing that.

As for the disappearance of your spiritual powers, don't even think about it. Gurbani says 'ridh sidh avra sadh', i.e the taste/desire for spiritual powers is another taste i.e not one that true Sikhs of Gurujee bother about. If you continue on the path of Sikhi you will see these powers come and go, sometimes becoming more and sometimes less. In time as you grow older Gurujee will guide you into when to use these powers and when not too. Your focus has to be on Sikhi and being a true Sikh.

As for simran, always continously do ardas to Gurujee to bless you with Naam and concentration power. During your life there wil be months/years/days when doing simran is difficult and hard and also there will be months/days/weeks/years when it happens smooth and nice like a treat. It is like a curve that goes up and down. So do not get too obsessed by this and do not get too intense. You need to be relaxed and chilled and do your nitnem/simran/going to gurudwara etc as usual and also read inspiring books on Sikhism, CDs, DVDs, katha in satsang, kirtan darbars etc. All these will perk up your levels of inspiration, help your concentration and give you more gyan about Sikhi. When I was your age, apart from studies and school, I spent a lot of my time learning how to read and understand Gurbani, learning kirtan, going to kirtan darbars, satsangs, gurudwaras, doing nitnem and simran and reading plenty of good books on Sikhism, doing nitnem, sewa, etc. All this helped me to stay on the path of Sikhi, and never to be depressed and to work on fighting ego.

Also, deep in your heart always pray to God and Gurujee to take away your ego and always recite ego reducing shabads and tuks in your mind such as ''meh nahee, kich hau nahee, kich aaye na mora...'', ''kabir mere mujh meh kich nahee...'', ''hum garib maskin prabh tere, har rakh rakh vad vda hai'.

Life is a long learning process. I am older than you but there is so much more to learn about Sikhi and it feels I have not even started yet. Learning about Sikhi is like a child that tries to walk, falls down, cries... then gets up.. walks a bit more... falls down again... cries,.... and keeps doing this till it can walk.

What counts is that you are alive and you are in Sikhi. So I will repeat again, try to be more relaxed and not to be so intense or worried or depressed or suicidal about your situation. It is not the end of the world. Focus on nam, dan, ishnan and surrender it all at Gurujee's Feet and carry on. And remember a Sikh has to focus on staying in chardikela, never to get depressed. I have had so so so many big huge problems in my life but everytime I am in a problem, I fight even harder to be in chardikela so I wont get depressed and suicidal. Sikhi is never about giving up and losing confidence. It is about learning from experience how not to repeat a mistake, and about staying motivated, positive and blazing with a fiery fighting spirit.

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Dearest _HonourThe Sangat_ Jee,

Thank you so much for trusting to share your problem on here so others can try to assess your situation and try to help you out. It is great that at your age you are Amritdharee and love Sikhi. Carry on doing that.

Absolutely, absolutely LOVE your posts! You're SO full of LOVE..... May Guru Ji bless you with all the happiness possible! (honestly....from deep in my heart!) :waheguru:

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh Gurmukh Pyareo

I need help. I am a 16 yeah old Amritdhaari and I was going great with my simran seva reciting Gurbani etc.

I was going great until me and my friends at school were playing this game as a joke"who can guess what the person was thinking game".

when we were playing it was all fun and games until my friend said me to read theirs, IDK HOW but i guesed everybodys answers or thoughts It was crazy, everybody or that little group was shocked and i told them to keep everything a secret, knowing that i may lose my avasta or IF I EVEN had a anything. (IT MIGHT OF BEEN just some lucky guesses)

Then those friends came to me everyday asking me to read thier minds I did'nt want to and i did'nt try too but i did it agian :)

baki waheguru mehar kare ji

do sewa till your sol feels its in place

baki waheguru mehar kare g

Edited by savinderpalsingh

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bhaji, try to look at this situation with a long term view. you made a mistake and you suffered a spiritual fall b/c of it. But that mistake is such an important lesson, it is etched so deeply into your soul, that it is unlikely you will repeat this mistake. sometimes people have a setback so that they can be saved from future setbacks. now just get back on the wagon and get going.

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Go in a desolate area and SCREEEAMMMM!!!

Just get it out of your system, cry if you have to smash something... JUST DO IT.. GET IT ALL OUT

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Go to Gurdwara Do ardas.. Rabb da dil bot wadii... n teri galti bot chotti aa... its not that big mistake...

recite the name of Guru in Gurdware u will come in form again :)

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Guest HonorTheSangat

Thank you everybody makes me happy to see people that care... i ll try everything :)... thank you thank you thank you ....

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

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