I want to cut my hair

[Guest jaspal]

I have worn a turban alll my life and have hated most of it. I find as though it gets in the way of my every day life such when playing sports it tends to fall off my head and if I do have it tight on my head I tend to feel dizzy and in unable to play team sports properly such as rugby and football which makes my teammates very pissed with me and has also led my to failing to get onto the school team. I live in community in which I have people pointing and staring at me ,and calling me names like "rag head" or sly comments like "I have your head gets better" or even when I wear my patka people on the street call me "pirate". I am suffering from depression and social anxiety in which has lead me to having no friends. I am often extremely angry with my life and often think 'why me' , why have I been made to wear a turban against my own free will, isn't it violating my human rights that I have to wear thus thing on my head to please my dads wishes and not be my self. I'm currently 15 years old and don't beleive in religon at all (I personally think that its all garbage). for these reasons I want to cut my hair I personally know that I will fit into society better with my hair cut. but don't post anything about the gurus and sikhism in response to this post because i allready know anout it all. do you really think that god woild be pissed off about me cutting my hair, do you really think that god would care about such a petty thing. the main reason why I am posting this is because I don't know how I would ask my dad for permission to cut my hair and my mum is the only sane person in my family because she is the one that will let me do it I've asked her and she said yes but I need to ask my dad if its ok for me to do so.

[Guest Guest]

If you don't care about religion and you think it's all garbage, why do you care what God thinks?

If you know about Sikhi, you know what Maharaaj wants from us. If you can't accept the natural form God has given you, how can you accept God?

I'm sorry about your bad experiences. With regards to your pagg in sports, you need to change your turban style. I've been playing sports all my life and never had a problem. Or tie a patka.

You're a lad. You need to learn to get over nasty comments... if you let these comments get to you, you're going to struggle throughout your life. More so than you're doing now.

You need to find a practical turban style that makea you feel confident about yourself. And you need to be proud regardless of what people say. It's all about confidence.

Again, you say you know about sikhi, but if you think kesh is just a petty thing, I'd suggest that you don't understand as much as you think you do.

If you really think sikhi is rubbish, then there's no point in wearing a turban. But my advice is, give Sikhi a chance. Change your dastar style to something more practical and get some sikh friends to help inspire you. Also, whether it's sikhi related or not, NEVER let people's nasty comments make decisions for you. Man up and don't fall into the trap of following other people like a sheep just because you get called names. I've been called every name under the sun and now I'm a successful lawyer who plays sports and wears a turban. Give sikhi a chance. It's beautiful. You just don't realise it yet.

Best of luck.

[Mehtab Singh]

I have worn a turban alll my life and have hated most of it.
The problem is not in the turban, its within you.

I find as though it gets in the way of my every day life such when playing sports it tends to fall off my head and if I do have it tight on my head I tend to feel dizzy and in unable to play team sports properly such as rugby and football

There are many other ways to tie it. I am sure other Singhs on here who play sports can guide you. Try a dumalla if you know how to tie it, or watch the videos on YouTube on how to tie one.

which makes my teammates very pissed with me and has also led my to failing to get onto the school team.

Tomorrow your team mates will be pissed at something else, and then something else, and then something else. You want to whine all your life trying to please others or be a man and live the way you want to live? Forget the turban for a second, and answer this question: How long are the guys going to be in your life? Another few years? You want to live your life based on their opinion? Are you a man or a football of their opinion? Failed to get on the school team, so? Is that the end of the world? Why don't you admit that maybe you don't play all that well? I suggest you improve your sports and quit blaming your turban. There are enough sportsmen out there who wear their turban, so quit wailing how your turban gets in your way. Be a man, stand up and admit where you're weak, and work hard to fix it. You'll be fine.

I live in community in which I have people pointing and staring at me ,and calling me names like "rag head" or sly comments like "I have your head gets better" or even when I wear my patka people on the street call me "pirate".

If you cut your hair, they will call you an Arab, or a Mexican, or an Indian. People will always find a name to call you because you will always be a minority in this part of the world no matter where you go. The only other alternative is go back to India where everyone looks like you, whether you have a turban or not. But I guess you're not going to do that now, are you? So, ignore the comments, they are coming from low-life demented scum bags who don't deserve your attention. Live your life and move on. I repeat, such worms come into your life for a split second, why bother about them? Consider them as a passing fart you've just released and forget about them as easily as you do once you let go of it from inside your tummy. It may stink for a few seconds but it does go away always, doesn't it? Consider such folks the same.

I am suffering from depression and social anxiety in which has lead me to having no friends. I am often extremely angry with my life and often think 'why me' ,

If that is the case, you need to see a professional counselor. There is no harm in it. Anyone who asks you to change yourself because of whatever reason is NOT your friend, period. Your friends are those who accept you as you are. Those who want you to change don't want you as a friend, they want a football. I repeat, get professional assistance, it will help you in the long run and trust me you will become more self-confident.

why have I been made to wear a turban against my own free will, isn't it violating my human rights that I have to wear thus thing on my head to please my dads wishes and not be my self. I'm currently 15 years old and don't beleive in religon at all (I personally think that its all garbage).

I am sorry for saying this, but its completely the fault of your parents who have not been able to teach you about Sikhi. Correct me if I am wrong, and once again I apologize as I mean them no disrespect. If they had taught you about Sikhi, like in the true sense, you could NEVER hate it. But we can't blame them now can we? I feel bad for them actually, who work hard to make sure you go to school and play sports, while Junior wants to give up their very own identity, just because they were too busy working to pay for your expenses and didn't get a chance to teach you about Sikhi. And what else did you say? Human rights? Do you even know what your turban symbolizes? It symbolizes that you are one of those who can fight and die for human rights! Thats like a cop saying he can't wear his uniform because he is scared of robbers! You are not yourself with your turban? What are you then? A football passed around by people's judgment who decide what you should look like? Come on man!!!!

for these reasons I want to cut my hair I personally know that I will fit into society better with my hair cut.

As I said above, society won't spare you anyways. They will find another way to slaughter you emotionally. And once you cut your hair, trust me my friend, you will make a joke out of yourself. Then you will become a certified weakling who couldn't face peer pressure and gave in. No matter how much "cool" they say you look, behind your back they will laugh at the mere mention of your name. "Hahahaha, oh that id!ot who cut his hair, yeah I know him. I am thinking I am gonna ask him to change his skin color now. He may paint his face because he does exactly what we like...HAHAHAHA!!!!" This is what they're going to to talk about you. Fit better into society my foot! By the way, this isn't my experience. I don't even come from a Sikh family. My direction was the exact opposite of yours, so don't bother about me as here the question is at you.

but don't post anything about the gurus and sikhism in response to this post because i allready know anout it all.

Nah, I don't think you know jack brother. If you did, you wouldn't be posting on here. But don't worry, no one is stupid to give you a history lesson when you know it and don't care to understand it. No one has time.

do you really think that god woild be pissed off about me cutting my hair,

Do you really think you would stop hating yourself once you've cut it? Really? I am sure you will start hating yourself for something else, you'll find another excuse, and then another, and then another. So its NOT God here who will be pissed at you. YOU are pissed off at yourself!!!! How much you're going to change just to fit in?

do you really think that god would care about such a petty thing.

Don't worry about what God cares about. You look inside what matters to you. Cutting hair is a petty thing for you today, right? What is it going to be tomorrow? Some "cute girl" in class will ask you to make your hair look like afros. Then another one will ask you to keep a goatee. Next thing you know, they've nicknamed you as Tupac 2 and laugh at your very sight. Petty thing? Fit into society? B---s---!!! Society will look at you the way you see yourself young bro. Be proud of who and what you are, and make this damn world respect you. Thats what a real man does!! Today you change for society, tomorrow it will twist and turn you into something you never dreamt of becoming and will hate yourself even worse.

the main reason why I am posting this is because I don't know how I would ask my dad for permission to cut my hair

Sorry, we are not an advisory board on here training kids how to talk to daddy, especially when you're going to go against Sikhi.

and my mum is the only sane person in my family because she is the one that will let me do it I've asked her and she said yes but I need to ask my dad if its ok for me to do so.

Yeah, typical moms, always worried about their son's happiness. I am sure you shrieked like a 6 year old girl with a broken doll and gave aunty jee hell that made her say yes.

Ok now hang on. I know my reply will seem harsh. But since you've come to us for advise, you're our brother. You're 15, so you're our younger brother (baby brother for me, I am more than twice your age, so almost an uncle for you). Anyways, quit the whining yaar. Now read from here onwards with a cool mind, ok?

I really want to suggest you discuss Sikhi, and especially Sikh history with someone of your age who is a devout Sikh. But I am not sure if you really wanna have to do anything with Sikhi, so that suggestion I'll keep to myself. Ok now you do need to get professional help if you think you have social anxiety and depression. You are angry with yourself, why? Because you didn't make it to the team? So what? Continue playing, don't stop. Focus on studies also. Get good grades, and trust me, you won't need any freaking society to accept you, they will come to you asking for acceptance. Get confidence in yourself my brother. Your turban represents pride, don't give it up and start looking like any Tom, D!ck, Harry. I was haircut till the age of 24, today with Guru Sahib's kirpa He blessed me with a turban.

This world doesn't give a damn about what you look like, trust me. All those faces they make, they last only 20 minutes, thats it! Once they see that you're a smart, intelligent and confident person, they will be at your feet. So work on that my brother. Forget what the "cute girls" say, they will keep saying one thing or the other. Any decent girl who is self-respecting will respect you as well, and she will respect you no matter how you look. All those who go after looks are naive, either because of immaturity at that age, or because they still haven't figured out that a man is made up of his character, personality, attitude, integrity. Not the shape of his haircut or how cleancut shave he has on his face (Gillette is NOT the best a man can get, trust me, I used to use it) Make your parents proud of you yaar. They've come this far from India to give you a better future. The least you can do is have some sort of connection to their roots! And if they have been unable to teach you about Sikhi, no problem. You learn it on your own, by yourself. You will enjoy it!

Think over what I said. I have scolded you like an elder brother, or okay, as an uncle. So don't get pissed, take it like a sportsman. Think with a cool mind for a day. Others will reply as well. Read the replies in a relaxed manner, and then decide what you want in life. Because guess what bro, its your life, you gotta make the choices. None of us know who you are, we can't force you, we can't prosecute you or take you to court just because you cut your hair. Its your relationship with your parents, your roots, and your God (if at all you believe in His eternal prevalence that is) that you need to think about.

*** Siiiiiggggghhhhh, I don't get it, I just don't get it Guru Sahib jee. Your beloved Sahibzada Baba Jujhaar Singh jee was this Jaspal Singh's age when You Yourself sent him to fight and become a Shaheed. In fact, he himself volunteered to go, You didn't even have to ask him. Today we have kids of the same age trying to find out a way how to ask their dads if they could cut their hair? What is going wrong with us Sache Patshah jeeo? Please help!***

[sat]

Have you read our history !! because if you had you would not say what you do , Read about our Shaheed's Bhai Taru Singh JI, Bhai Mati Das ji, Bhai Mani Singh JI, 4 Shabizade etc.

Man up anyone who call you a rag head etc give them a slap once you knock a few of these cowards out no one will mess with you again!!

Dont you dare say (I personally think that its all garbage) because thats what you will become if you keep thinking this way !!

[Gurpreet14]

I just luv the way u make people understand sikhi....Mehtab veerji.. tuc bot khadus ho but nice sikh ho

[jasdeepsingh2k125]

first of all i will not be be saying anything to you....................

just look in the eyes of dashmesh pitaji and ask yourself , guruji sacrificed all thier 4 sons four you........... he sacrificed everything for u.................... and now dicide yourself by luking in eyes of pitaji and decide urself....................... what u gonna give in returnn......

[TheFancyBanana]

I play many sports. Football, rugby, cricket, hockey, I swim with my turban on. I'm also in the RAF cadets and fly planes with a turban. My pagh has never come in the way. So don't use sports as an excuse. The Gurus encouraged sports, they wore turbans. I don't see them complaining. Keeping my turban was probably the best thing I've done. I admit, I thought about cutting my hair. But, I refuse to let other people dictate how I look. I began to ignore jokes and comments. I don't give a <banned word filter activated> about what low life scumbags think of me. Today they make jokes about your turban. You cut your hair. But then they might take the piss out of your nose or ears. What will you do then? Cut them off too? Sangat helps a lot. Get some real friends, people who accept you no matter how you look like. I think uncle Mehtab's post gives you your answer.

[Questioner]

I'm a girl. Wasn't so lucky as to have been born into a kes keeping household. But Maharaj's kirpa I found the path. That kes and dastar which you hate so much is what I fought to keep.

Everyone was against me. There was violence and family disowned me. Even today, people are not cool with it and make snidy comments.

Look at yourself. I find it hard to believe there are people who don't see Guru's blessing... if it were petty, nothing to care about, worth giving up, why would there be a history of Sikhs from the past till this day that fight to keep their hair and dastaara?

Also, sports isn't a problem. Tie a different style.

[Mehtab Singh]

I think uncle Mehtab's post gives you your answer.

If I didn't love you as much as I do, I'd have put you under moderation just for breaking my heart.

[Gurpreet14]

I'm a girl. Wasn't so lucky as to have been born into a kes keeping household. But Maharaj's kirpa I found the path. That kes and dastar which you hate so much is what I fought to keep.Everyone was against me. There was violence and family disowned me. Even today, people are not cool with it and make snidy comments.Look at yourself. I find it hard to believe there are people who don't see Guru's blessing... if it were petty, nothing to care about, worth giving up, why would there be a history of Sikhs from the past till this day that fight to keep their hair and dastaara?Also, sports isn't a problem. Tie a different style.

Hey sis..

Ur post motived me....I want to keep dastar...my family is just against it.......

But I want to....my father causes trouble for me inspite of being sikh....can u PM me some ways where I can get into keeping my rehet fully with dastar.....how did u do it? Can u share??