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Guest 1amongstU

Sexuality Life...advice?

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Guest 1amongstU

Im not here to discuss what Sikhi or anyone has to say regarding homosexuality. I just want some honest advice, less of the preaching.

So I am in a relationship with a guy. I also happen to be kesdhari. A decision of my own, not forced upon by parents etc. Long story short, I was on a path, decided being gay was "curable" or "forgettable", decided to keep my kesh and then i met my partner and now im stuck.

Erm basically i have come to accept who and what i am. And the way i see it, my actions, my consequences. "Ohdi o jane, minu apni tohr niba lehn de".

But...as a kesdhari guy i also represent millions. And though i dont see being gay as a bad or wrong thing, i just dont want any related stigma being linked to sikhi. For example, "hey your gay and sikh, so its allowed in sikhism...etc". I dont want that. Sikhi has and always will be an integral part of me. I can and will not let people associate my actions with those of sikhi. Similar to a kesdhari drinking or smoking or hanging out in brothels etc. I would never do that.

So i guess what im asking is, what should i do? Please dont give me quotes and preaching etc sorry but its no use trying to talk me out of my sexuality. Try not being straight. Live and let live.

Thank you.

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Guest Dasguruka

Your post seems like you just want confirmation about your own views ( live and let live) and not actual feedback. Be who you are brother. No one chooses anything. It is all in his Hukam.

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I don't know why you are even posting on here ?

If you have made up your mind and want to be on 'the other bus'', then go ahead, fair play, but DON"T mix your sexuality with sikhi.

Being Gay or not doesn't have anything to do with sikhi. Sikhi is about gurmat conduct. This gurmat can be conducted whether you are gay or straight, white or black, jat farmer or churha, abled or disabled, rich or poor.....etc....etc.........

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Guest smile

By wearing a dastar and having keshdhari roop means you are representing what a sikh is. I'm undecided on what the sikh stance is on homosexuality as from my little understanding anyone can attain a higher spiritual level regardless of race, caste, creed so why not sexuality but gay sikhs goes against sentiments of modest gristi jeevan. I'm not one who can decide what you should do with your appearance as I think deep down you will know what is best for you and what you want to represent. Ultimately you have to decide but one thing I do ask is that no matter what please don't forget your guru and sikhi because in your hardest times only that can help, also just because you've chosen to live your life in a certain way doesn't mean you don't love god or your guru and nobody can judge you...not everyone is perfect and most ppl have mest up pasts but you can restore by paath

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simply ignore this useless thread.....who knows he exists on this earth or not..............

sukhi077 ji why should this thread be ignored, he has a dilemma and is asking advice, and has asked politely. Maybe its your age (you seem very young from some of your responses) but people deserve politeness in response to their genuine questions, even if you don't agree with them.

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Guest 1amongstU

sukhi077 ji why should this thread be ignored, he has a dilemma and is asking advice, and has asked politely. Maybe its your age (you seem very young from some of your responses) but people deserve politeness in response to their genuine questions, even if you don't agree with them.

Thank you penji. Thats really sweet.

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Guest 1amongstU

simply ignore this useless thread.....who knows he exists on this earth or not..............

Ok :) thanks buddy.

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Guest advice

This advice is based on your decision to not even try and change/control yourself and become a guru abiding sikh. I don't really blame you. it is your karam that you are gay.

If you have decided to live a life of commiting bujjer kurehits such as sexual relationships outside anand karaj marriage, then it is better not to be in keshdarhi sikhi saroop. This will save you alot of punsihment for destroying the high sikhi image (like the drinkers, clubbing "keshdharis" do) If for some reason you still want to keep your hair, even though you think it's ok to do other kurehits, then best to have a ponytail or something, without even a patka as that can be associcated with sikhi nowadays.

The most important advice - while living your non sikhi way please read lots and lots of gurbani in your spare time. Hopefully this will descrease the punishment faced in dargah and improve your karam so that in the next human life (whenever you are lucky to get another one) you will able to live the sikhi life properly and not be gay. But remember you should do tons of gurbani paath, and ardaasan for kirpa all the time. Go to gurdwara regularly and listen to kirtan there with concentration. Do seva of cleaning shoes and washing dishes. It is not appropriate for those living anti sikh lifestyle to do langar seva, so cleaning shoes and dishes is best.

Please take this advice on board very seriously for your dear soul.

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sukhi077 ji why should this thread be ignored, he has a dilemma and is asking advice, and has asked politely. Maybe its your age (you seem very young from some of your responses) but people deserve politeness in response to their genuine questions, even if you don't agree with them.

lol..I m 22 ..yeahh its a different thing if I m health conscious and fit guy :strong: ..

now come to question why did I say like that?

Because same as like yoga ,,Homosexuality has nothing to do with sikhi,,, it's his life he can live it in his own way being gay or not being gay. Just read his thoughts again he seems to

be confused with himself... when there are millions of gay forums available on internet discussing about the problem of any religion as obstacle in homosexuality then why is he on

sikh forum ? when he clearly explains "Im not here to discuss what Sikhi or anyone has to say regarding homosexuality" and suddenly he turns and says "I just want some honest advice, less of the preaching." so now we have to be non gurmat or non sikh to give him advice?

I ask you does sikhi say be busy in kaam?? I think He cares of his Kaam much more than Sikhi.. He says " Sikhi has and always will be an integral part of me."""

The question is now if sikhi would have been an integral part of him? was he going to be homosexual???? Sikhi is Gurmat and Gurmat is sikhi .. and homosexuality??? of course Manmat....

if someone is addicted of alcohol ,He/she can get rid of it. There are hundreds of way in medical sector and we know this thing but many of us don't want to why?

because "ae life ta enjoy karn di a...inu enjoy karo...mazza boht aunda sharaab peeke...."

if someone is addicted of masturbation ,He/she can get rid of it.There are hundreds of way in medical sector and we know this thing but many of us don't want to why?

because ""assi ta punjabi a... nazzaare lene ta sadde khoon wich a...ae ta natural cheez a ...edi koi tension len di jaroorat nai....naale rabb kehdha kenda ae kaam na karo....life nu bas enjoy karo.................

Our All ten gurus were keshadhari with full unshorn beards...because Gurbani wants natural process of formation of human beings.its very common sense too .Everybody knows about it and you know what we assume ??? We assume first nine Gurus did not say to keep hair so we can cut them.Keeping hair does not make someone true sikh but how we are meany and creepy we never say those nine gurus were also keshdhari so we SHOULD keep our hair....

In the same way there are hundreds of treatments for homosexuality....but he would not go for it.....bc he wanna enjoy it...he wanna enjoy the worldly life......

ithe lokaan ne apni jado karni hi manmat a te fe advice kyu deni? """"Murkh nu adivce den waala khud murk hunda va.""....

ithe aajkal de sikh phela granth pardh ke dekhde a...fe dekhde a ke oh ide wich kinna k fit bende a ...fe dekhde a oh innu kinna k follow kar

sakde a.....fe dekhde a ke is wich likhi hoi cheez nu kida badlya jaave ta krke ohh kal nu apne aap nu nai balki jo likhya huya granth wich hai

ohnu galat keha jaave.....ithe kamine log wasde..............

and you tell me what makes you think that its genuine question? hm? Have you got dream about him that he is really a guy who was born into sikh family?lol.

and when someone guy sikh/non sikh comes on this forum and starts pointing out negative character of modern sikh woman for sikh man and religion today (that's quite True) then you find the questioner not genuine and potential and energy looks you so wasteful ... right??lol...

madam ji ...tusi ta oh gal kar diti ""Sadda kuttaa kuttaaa te thavada Kuttaa TOMMY....... :lol2:

There is anti sikh propaganda these days by hindu muslim guys to degrade sikhi at any cost......

SO BEWARE................

Edited by sukhi077

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and you tell me what makes you think that its genuine question? hm? Have you got dream about him that he is really a guy who was born into sikh family?lol.

and when someone guy sikh/non sikh comes on this forum and starts pointing out negative character of modern sikh woman for sikh man and religion today (that's quite True) then you find the questioner not genuine and potential and energy looks you so wasteful ... right??lol...

how he's written his post shows it Is genuine, unlike some posts that are just fake and made to create a reaction against Sikh women. he's been honest and isn't trying to encourage others to express negative opinions about one group of people - he's seems to be looking for genuine advice. As you get more life experience you'll be able to see the difference too.

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Guest followyourheart

Hi!

It sounds like you already know the answer. If you're questioning whether you should keep your hair due to your sexuality, it sounds like you've already made your mind up.

I'm glad you're thinking about everyone else too and not wanting your sexuality to be associated with Sikhi. I am not going to tell you to cut your hair because that would be wrong on my behalf, but follow what you think is right!

All the best!

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Im not here to discuss what Sikhi or anyone has to say regarding homosexuality. I just want some honest advice, less of the preaching.

So I am in a relationship with a guy. I also happen to be kesdhari. A decision of my own, not forced upon by parents etc. Long story short, I was on a path, decided being gay was "curable" or "forgettable", decided to keep my kesh and then i met my partner and now im stuck.

Erm basically i have come to accept who and what i am. And the way i see it, my actions, my consequences. "Ohdi o jane, minu apni tohr niba lehn de".

But...as a kesdhari guy i also represent millions. And though i dont see being gay as a bad or wrong thing, i just dont want any related stigma being linked to sikhi. For example, "hey your gay and sikh, so its allowed in sikhism...etc". I dont want that. Sikhi has and always will be an integral part of me. I can and will not let people associate my actions with those of sikhi. Similar to a kesdhari drinking or smoking or hanging out in brothels etc. I would never do that.

So i guess what im asking is, what should i do? Please dont give me quotes and preaching etc sorry but its no use trying to talk me out of my sexuality. Try not being straight. Live and let live.

Thank you.

I think its very difficult if you're different from the rest of society around, but I think the same goes for other people too that are different in whatever way, like the disabled, or people who are unmarried in our culture and a lot of this is due to the worries about what others think. In my own family, my dad left and that was considered shameful for our family and so we were looked down on - in our society most difference is looked down on - that's why I find the message of our gurus so beautiful - everyone is equal before Waheguruji's eyes. Whatever others feel about you being homosexual, in the end its between you and Waheguruji, and I know that Waheguruji is the only one that accepts all. You said you're worried about your actions reflecting badly on sikhi, but there are many people drinking. swearing and doing worse in a pagg and dhari, at least you care enough about sikhi, but don't let others opinions come between you and Waheguruji. I used to feel very guilty and unworthy of Waheguruji as I felt I was not a good enough Sikh, but over time I realised it is between me and Waheguruji and not up to anyone else, no -one is perfect in this world. I think you should ask Waheguruji what to do and not let other's opinions distance you from him.

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