Did Something Regrettable And Want To Check My Status As A Sikh

[pepperjackcheese]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Sat Sri Akal,

I am in need of help and feeling very lost and alone right now. Ever since I was a child, I have gone to gurudwara on Sundays with my parents. Neither my parents nor I have taken Amrit, but we've always believed in Sikhism, and I always refer to it in my religion.

In recent years, I went to university and became distant from Sikhism. This is when my confusion and trouble started. I became too busy to go to gurudwara and started doing the wrong things. I became interested in Islam through my own when I started seeing how many people around me were Muslim. I watched lots of "dawah" or "shahada" videos on youtube and developed a strange fascination and began wondering what if I did the same. I should emphasize that I never believed the teachings of Islam and in every debate between Sikhishm and Islam, I've seen, I never felt that my dear Sikhism was any less than Islam. In fact, I have always considered it my religion and the truth. But today, I went to an Islam chat website and was connected to a girl. I was so curious to see her reaction that I volunteered to take shahada. I typed it back to her, but I never believed what I was typing. But now the deed is done, and I hope with every once of my body that I'm still a Sikh. This is the religion that is dear to my heart and although I lost it in recent years, it's still the one that I believe and want myself to belong to.

I am just looking for some reassurance and support that the shahada was not authentic and I'm still Sikh. I could never forgive myself for changing all because of a chat with a girl. Please reassure me that I'm Sikh or I truly won't have the will to live anymore.

Robin Singh

[harsharan000]

Dear pepperjackcheese,

Beleiving in God, is not a material transaction or contract of this world, which you do sign on a paper or so.

It is a matter of mind and soul.

Someone can make you prisoner physically, or someone can hide you, but our souls belong to Wahiguru.

That is why the Bani says: sabna jeea ka Iko Daata..., nobody can keep you bound at any place or any time.

Such a high entity as Kal, is keeping us here, because He wants the creation to go on, not by the will of Kal. You can love Wahiguru with your soul by mediatating on Him.

You can purify your mouth by reading, singing, and reciting the Bani; purify your ears, by listening His keertan, katha and mahima, purify your mind by reflecting and by meditating on Him, through His simran...

What else does one need?

His blessings are with us at each step.

Do not worry, we are humans, all of us have surely commited mistakes, maybe more than you.

At least you are brave and you have come out, but how many of us, can say so?

We maybe giving out one image, but we maybe unfaithful, cheaters, wicked, blood suckers and stone hearted... I am not justufying you by criticizing others; I am only telling you, that except Wahiguru and a few wadbhagee bhagats, the rest of us are weak.

But we all are striving hard to grow spiritually and be matured; that is why we are all here, on this forum, this web or others similar, we are to help each other with our limited but sincere opinions...

So brother cool down, and pray Him sincerely with all your heart, so that He may guide you to take the right decisions, and through His Light to reach Him.

Religion or dharma, is not a set of rules or regulations, but it is a matter of heart, of love, of giving up one´s maanmat. This is what we have learned from Gurmat, from sikhee.....

So by cultivating these noble virtues, one thus becomes a sikh of the true Guru, which is none other than Wahiguru.

That is why the Bani says: Shabad Guru, surat dhun chela. Shabad is Wahiguru, Shabad is Satnam, Shabad is Akal Purukh.

By attaching yourself to His Lotus Feet, through His simran, you automatically become His beloved sikh.

This is simply all what sikhee is about, to do the sewa of the Highest, imbibe His puruty, His virtues, and merge in Him.

That is all I can say, and at the same time wish you all the best of luck, and may Wahiguru bless yiou.

[pepperjackcheese]

Thank you for your response Harsharan000. It was really nice to read it.

I guess I'm just feeling sick right now and am worried about the technicalities and consequences of my actions. I read that typing those lines are sufficient to be a Muslim, and once they are said, someone becomes Muslim, which of course I don't want. There are 2 caveats that I want to clear up which I'm not sure you can help me with. If you can't, that is fine too.

First of all, a person is supposed to verbally recite those lines for it to be effective, which I did not actually do, but as I was typing, my mind was saying them to me, so I hope that does not count. Second of all, they say that the person has to believe those lines that they are reciting (or in my case typing). But in my case, I did not believe them.

I know that the recitation "doesn't count" if the person was forced. But in my case, I wasn't forced. I think I was just in the wrong state of mind and lost in thought about the girl and trying to please her. In a sober mind, I know that my faith is more important than some girl

I just hope that the formal conversion did not go through. I'm really sad right now, and I'm very determined to go to gurudwara and reconnect with Sikhism, but of course,that is only possible if I didn't make myself a Muslim. We do not believe in a paper transaction to show our faith but they do, so how to counter it is the problem. This is why I am paranoid right now, although slightly less, thanks to your words.

[jkvlondon]

Thank you for your response Harsharan000. It was really nice to read it.

I guess I'm just feeling sick right now and am worried about the technicalities and consequences of my actions. I read that typing those lines are sufficient to be a Muslim, and once they are said, someone becomes Muslim, which of course I don't want. There are 2 caveats that I want to clear up which I'm not sure you can help me with. If you can't, that is fine too.

First of all, a person is supposed to verbally recite those lines for it to be effective, which I did not actually do, but as I was typing, my mind was saying them to me, so I hope that does not count. Second of all, they say that the person has to believe those lines that they are reciting (or in my case typing). But in my case, I did not believe them.

I know that the recitation "doesn't count" if the person was forced. But in my case, I wasn't forced. I think I was just in the wrong state of mind and lost in thought about the girl and trying to please her. In a sober mind, I know that my faith is more important than some girl

I just hope that the formal conversion did not go through. I'm really sad right now, and I'm very determined to go to gurudwara and reconnect with Sikhism, but of course,that is only possible if I didn't make myself a Muslim. We do not believe in a paper transaction to show our faith but they do, so how to counter it is the problem. This is why I am paranoid right now, although slightly less, thanks to your words.

ARDAS ...take hukamnama and LISTEN to what Guru ji Tells you... we are foolish we say we don't need you Guru and leave, but Guru ji is always ready to welcome you back provided you actually mean it from the heart.

If you get in contact with that girl could she turn your head again? or is your head truthfully Guru ji's ?

You hadn't met the girl yet got swayed so quickly is that because you were already swayed by all those Dawah vids?

People who make those videos prey on those who are not fully sure of their faiths but although you have been to Gurudwarey and taking part in sadh sangat something hasn't nourished you fully . I really believe you need to immerse yourself in Guru ji and your kaum's itihaas, watch english katha, and sikhi videos .

I suggest you spend as much time with real life people in sangat who believe in Guru ji ... listen to kirtan ... do naam japp , be fruitful

[pepperjackcheese]

ARDAS ...take hukamnama and LISTEN to what Guru ji Tells you... we are foolish we say we don't need you Guru and leave, but Guru ji is always ready to welcome you back provided you actually mean it from the heart.

If you get in contact with that girl could she turn your head again? or is your head truthfully Guru ji's ?

You hadn't met the girl yet got swayed so quickly is that because you were already swayed by all those Dawah vids?

People who make those videos prey on those who are not fully sure of their faiths but although you have been to Gurudwarey and taking part in sadh sangat something hasn't nourished you fully . I really believe you need to immerse yourself in Guru ji and your kaum's itihaas, watch english katha, and sikhi videos .

I suggest you spend as much time with real life people in sangat who believe in Guru ji ... listen to kirtan ... do naam japp , be fruitful

JKVLondon, Thanks for the advice. I had watched some of those dawah videos before sadly, and while I disliked how they tried to convert people on the street, I don't know why I watched them. As for that girl, you're right I had just met her and won't ever see her again. I think I can identify the problem now and how this began. After I went off to university in another city, I stopped going to gurudwara. There were none in that location and even when I came back, I went rarely because I lost the habit. In fact, I've only gone to gurudwara a few times in the past 1.5 years. I need to start going again and get back my beliefs I had as a child. It's sad that I had to do something so bad to receive a wake up call, but in my heart I know that when I die I'll be a Sikh and not Muslim. I just hope God recognizes that I want to be a Sikh. I don't know if I could ever trust my self to take Amrit or if I'm even willing to go that far, but I simply want to be Sikh and hope my status never changed.

[harsharan000]

First of all ,do not feel paranoid, just keep calm, as the mind is playing with you by troubling you.

An agitated state of mind will make you do more wrong things, so first of all stay calm. What they believe does not necessary need to be the truth.

That is all maanmat. Our soul is already linked with God, as it is of the same essence, whether you deny it or accept it, it makes no difference to Him. Wahiguru or Allah, is a level of consciousness, it is not like swearing the constituion or kissing a flag of that country , so that you aquire the nationality of that country.. This, as said above, this all maanmat. That is not Gurmat at all.

Then, the question of going to a Gurdwara... there is no need for it.

Why?

Is the Wahiguru inside you, lesser than the one you will find in that place made of the 5 lifeless tatwaas?

And moreover we go to Gurdwaras to listen His glory, not to confirm anybody, of one´s faith.

Does not the Bani say: Har mandir eheu sareer hae, gyan ratan parghat hoe . This very human body is the real temple of the Lord Har, and wherein one can find the jewel of true wisdom.

So you see, even when we die and become bodiless, or when parlay and mahaparlay take place...where are our bodies?

Where are all our temples, churches, gurdwaras....all the creation made from from the lifless and perishable 5 tatwaas, does that mean, that our soul can not devote itself to Wahiguru?

No.

That again is maanmat.

It is our surtee, our soul, our jeev, which has to love and worship Wahiguru, and merge in that Supreme Truth and reality. And our soul is right within us with us at all times. Wahiguru is nearer to us, even more that the breaths we may take in order to live .... .......

Outside is all maya, is all koor...and within us, is the reality, His Shabad, What else do we need, He is with us all times, but we have to connect / reunite ourselves with Him, because we are separated by the veil of maya, and this veil can only be lifted and torn by His Simran alone.

So hold on simply tight to His Lotus Feet, by His Simran, then there is no such power, which can hold you back and stop you to merge in Him

Just as the bani says: Jin Har japeeya, se Har hoeeya. He whosoever meditates on His Name, merges in Him and becomes Him.

Simple, isn´t it?

So now just do it, and prove youself to be worthy in your eyes.

Waheguru.

[jkvlondon]

JKVLondon, Thanks for the advice. I had watched some of those dawah videos before sadly, and while I disliked how they tried to convert people on the street, I don't know why I watched them. As for that girl, you're right I had just met her and won't ever see her again. I think I can identify the problem now and how this began. After I went off to university in another city, I stopped going to gurudwara. There were none in that location and even when I came back, I went rarely because I lost the habit. In fact, I've only gone to gurudwara a few times in the past 1.5 years. I need to start going again and get back my beliefs I had as a child. It's sad that I had to do something so bad to receive a wake up call, but in my heart I know that when I die I'll be a Sikh and not Muslim. I just hope God recognizes that I want to be a Sikh. I don't know if I could ever trust my self to take Amrit or if I'm even willing to go that far, but I simply want to be Sikh and hope my status never changed.

Look I would say if you want to stamp your love on your soul, give your head to Guru ji , yep it can be scary to make that first step but I promise the benefits outweigh the pointless worrying of a lifetime. I was nine when I decided the only place I could call home was Guru ji's feet. I went to Uni too and had those roving gangs of Dawah boys preaching at me ... they couldn't find a way in to start up. Your childhood bhagti is the saving grace I really feel that you will be happy once you find sangat

[jkvlondon]

First of all ,do not feel paranoid, just keep calm, as the mind is playing with you by troubling you.

An agitated state of mind will make you do more wrong things, so first of all stay calm. What they believe does not necessary need to be the truth.

That is all maanmat. Our soul is already linked with God, as it is of the same essence, whether you deny it or accept it, it makes no difference to Him. Wahiguru or Allah, is a level of consciousness, it is not like swearing the constituion or kissing a flag of that country , so that you aquire the nationality of that country.. This, as said above, this all maanmat. That is not Gurmat at all.

Then, the question of going to a Gurdwara... there is no need for it.

Why?

Is the Wahiguru inside you, lesser than the one you will find in that place made of the 5 lifeless tatwaas?

And moreover we go to Gurdwaras to listen His glory, not to confirm anybody, of one´s faith.

Does not the Bani say: Har mandir eheu sareer hae, gyan ratan parghat hoe . This very human body is the real temple of the Lord Har, and wherein one can find the jewel of true wisdom.

So you see, even when we die and become bodiless, or when parlay and mahaparlay take place...where are our bodies?

Where are all our temples, churches, gurdwaras....all the creation made from from the lifless and perishable 5 tatwaas, does that mean, that our soul can not devote itself to Wahiguru?

No.

That again is maanmat.

It is our surtee, our soul, our jeev, which has to love and worship Wahiguru, and merge in that Supreme Truth and reality. And our soul is right within us with us at all times. Wahiguru is nearer to us, even more that the breaths we may take in order to live .... .......

Outside is all maya, is all koor...and within us, is the reality, His Shabad, What else do we need, He is with us all times, but we have to connect / reunite ourselves with Him, because we are separated by the veil of maya, and this veil can only be lifted and torn by His Simran alone.

So hold on simply tight to His Lotus Feet, by His Simran, then there is no such power, which can hold you back and stop you to merge in Him

Just as the bani says: Jin Har japeeya, se Har hoeeya. He whosoever meditates on His Name, merges in Him and becomes Him.

Simple, isn´t it?

So now just do it, and prove youself to be worthy in your eyes.

Waheguru.

Veer ji

He has said he feels isolated and he needs to be surrounded by people of like mind doing paat, kirtan to boost himself ...there is nothing wrong there even Guru ji has said Sangat is the place to go.

[pepperjackcheese]

None of my parents have taken Amrit, but both of them follow Sikhism and religion is very important to them. In fact, my mom does paath every morning and evening. My dad is also Sikh. However, he doesn't do paath and drinks alcohol on occasion. Can I follow this middle ground, moreso like my mother, and be a content Sikh? When I was high school, my mom wanted to order an English translation so that I could also learn paath, but somehow we forgot and never did it. I would like to try this, but I just hope that my mind can find peace now. I've been worried all day, and I have important exams and things coming up. I'm afraid of sinking into depression.

[harsharan000]

Thank you for your response Harsharan000. It was really nice to read it.

I guess I'm just feeling sick right now and am worried about the technicalities and consequences of my actions. I read that typing those lines are sufficient to be a Muslim, and once they are said, someone becomes Muslim, which of course I don't want. There are 2 caveats that I want to clear up which I'm not sure you can help me with. If you can't, that is fine too.

First of all, a person is supposed to verbally recite those lines for it to be effective, which I did not actually do, but as I was typing, my mind was saying them to me, so I hope that does not count. Second of all, they say that the person has to believe those lines that they are reciting (or in my case typing). But in my case, I did not believe them.

I know that the recitation "doesn't count" if the person was forced. But in my case, I wasn't forced. I think I was just in the wrong state of mind and lost in thought about the girl and trying to please her. In a sober mind, I know that my faith is more important than some girl

I just hope that the formal conversion did not go through. I'm really sad right now, and I'm very determined to go to gurudwara and reconnect with Sikhism, but of course,that is only possible if I didn't make myself a Muslim. We do not believe in a paper transaction to show our faith but they do, so how to counter it is the problem. This is why I am paranoid right now, although slightly less, thanks to your words.

Veer Jkvlondon, sorry, he says he would like to go to the gurdwara to be reconnected with sikhims, not isolated, he never said so...

As said earlier, we go to the Gurdwaras to listen His glory and refresh us ourselves mentally. But he is saying to be reconnected with sikhee...

So what is the purpose of sikhee? Isn´t it Wahiguru? So how does one reconnect one´s soul with Wahiguru? is it not with His Simran?

And for that purpose, one need not go anywhere, nor do anything extra...So what wrong have I done or said?

Please respect. You speak from your level of understanding.So do I. And I do have the same right. Let him decide, what he wants, why should we discuss then?

Sat Sree Akal.