Darbar Hall Seperation

[simran345]

Waheguru ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki FatehThe reason I was told was because of focussing the mind to message of bani rather than opposite sex (kind of like the muslim women having to stay behind the men in the mosque ) but that is bogus as you look in any darbar hall the guys are all chilled listening to bani without the kids hassling them and the Women's side the women are constantly tending to the kids demands . where is the equality ?In India people sit in family groups at Gurudwarey there and no one bats an eyelid , whereas my own experience when my boys were very little (2 years and twins premature -1month age) when we sat as a couple at the back of the hall with our three kids in the UK, a man physically manhandled my husband during kirtan darbar to try and move him to the "men's side". I think if you sit together the kids will be more settled and not running back and forth pulling sangat's dhian which is a good thing plus you are less likely to think of others if you are with your family.

That wasn't nice to experience. If a family wants to sit together so should be, nobody has right to do that in my opinion. Same with if one spouse is not well then should be allowed to sit together. Understandable if there is no reason to sit together, then separate, but where there are problems sitting together should be allowed, if they are from one family then it's obvious.

[jkvlondon]

its not bad if there is separation , its actually good. maybe you are raised in western environment and you are looking at our traditions with western views, but thats how none of it works.

there are people who can control their thoughts and eyes and kam , then there are people who get easily distracted . its good to have separation

next thing someone will say

"if western has joined bath why do we have separate "

imho its just stupid to look at older traditions with western views .

sitting with family max like 90% time isnt good you gossip about here and there . things keep poping up in mind.

separation makes it difficult and enforces to concentrate

Veer ji

surely if one's is with one's jiwan saathi that is our constant Sangat so we would/ should be in a state of sehaj being alongside them concentrating on Bani , personally if I am sitting in darbar I don't gossip at all, in fact I encourage the kids to do naam jap while listening. If one is with one's family you don't gossip with your friends because your husband is your reminder not to and vice versa . If anything is totally necessary to communicate one can get up and go outside. The other plus point is kids feel the niga of both guardians on them so will be more aware of their own behaviour.

Besides as my husband pointed out how can the bibian enjoy/learn from Guru ji if their attention is totally taken up with policing the kids, it should be a joint responsibility why should the Guys get total freedom to shut out the family responsibility... In fact I think it should be the case that the guys should take over looking after the kids so their wives can totally absorb the message of bani so she can pass this down the fami

ly line to the kids .

I would love if gurudwarey would create a seating area for younger sikhs of both sexes just in front of kirtaniyas so they can sit and hear and see kirtan without struggling , this will increase prem with kirtan...and hopefully create a switched on generation for the future of Gurmat sangeet

[savinderpalsingh]

penji,

i remember in my childhood, sometimes we would sit with dad and sometimes with mom, its just upto parentss with whome they wana sit

i used to sit mostly with dad, because of separate area . due to which didnt had much interaction with sisters so , we were not naughty

[hsingh8963]

I always used to hear a strange buzzing in the darbar hall... Then finally I realized that the sound is from the back of the womans side who are gossiping or whatever so loud...

[jkvlondon]

I always used to hear a strange buzzing in the darbar hall... Then finally I realized that the sound is from the back of the womans side who are gossiping or whatever so loud...

I used to see the kids making a ruckus and the harassed mothers trying to calm them and quieten them while being shot daggers by the men in the Gurdwara amazing what you can see up close . do you honestly think that if those ladies were sitting next to their husbands they would be doing gupshup? would the kids be still insisting that they want to go find Dad now ? the Family that prays together stays together ...I think it is true how about you?

[hsingh8963]

Yep I agree with you I was highlighting a problem of the separation...

[savinderpalsingh]

idk about nowdays but, yes
if kids are seperately sitting with mom and dad respectively . they do not run around

and darbar sahib is no play ground . we dont let kids around like that and parents understand and enforce it .

kids only run around with parents who have no control over them . we never see kids running amock here . its a rare sight and even if there is any case. the raagi or katha wachak says infront of whole sangat. then parents can deal with the issue as they like .

[savinderpalsingh]

I think you may have become a bit confused Savinderpal.

As someone else pointed out a few messages earlier, this 'tradition' of separation is entirely a 'western' invention....having been invented in UK, Canadian and American Gurdwaras. Our 'tradition' in Punjab and India has always been for men and women to sit together as a family unit on whichever side they want.

nope i am not confused neither my grandparents or folks older then them remember families sitting together in darbar sahib , there has been always a separation

[simran345]

Not all kids are th same and are hard to control. Kids r kids, obviously they r going to run around when they see big open space they probably think its is a play area. They cannot be educated until they are a certain age. Ok u have kids that will sit quietly but wat about th hyper ones.

U can't force a kid to do something, only pyar will work at that age when they have just discovered how far they can get, and see their cute faces when they r smiling and laughing thinking they have achieved something. Some kids don't sit at home and run around Lots. Kids r kids, it's their growing up process, they don't know how until they get to that age where they can understand how to sit quietly, so it's neither parents fault. Even if they sit together I bet they will still be restless.

Not all kids are th same and are hard to control. Kids r kids, obviously they r going to run around when they see big open space they probably think its is a play area. They cannot be educated until they are a certain age. Ok u have kids that will sit quietly but wat about th hyper ones.

U can't force a kid to do something, only pyar will work at that age when they have just discovered how far they can get, and see their cute faces when they r smiling and laughing thinking they have achieved something. Some kids don't sit at home and run around Lots. Kids r kids, it's their growing up process, they don't know how until they get to that age where they can understand how to sit quietly, so it's neither parents fault. Even if they sit together I bet they will still be restless.

I guess it depends on which part of punjab or India u are from, as I've never seen families sit together either.

But if u go to visit the historical Gurdwaras, it's more likely seen there where families sit together when goin from abroad.

[BhaiSukhSingh]

if we look at puratan Guru Ghars Maharaj is sat in the middle which meant there was no seperation. Families used to come in together and sit together. .