Getting Married In India?

[MisterrSingh]

questions:

how many boyfriends have you had? If yes, were they sikh? If no, then what were they and why have you changed route to a traditional path? Are you the last roll of the dice?

do you like to work, will you go out to work and support the husband EQUALLY?

do you swear?

are you a calm or violent person?

what type of car would you like to own? If she says Porsche,Ferrari, Audi TT etc...... attention seeking, look at me type of girl.

do you drink?,

do you smoke?

if she has older sisters don't believe a single word that comes out of their mouths!

look at her sister husbands, that could be you in a few years time!

look at her dad. If you don't like what you see RUN and don't look back. As that will be you in you in 30 years time.

Lastly, Say you don't believe in divorce but if you find out she has lied, you will make her life hell, and thats just the beginning. No violence!

im not joking with this post, be serious and leave no doubt about what your expectations are from your future wife. Don't be a fool and ask for ridiculous expectations, remember one day you will have daughters and your future wife will have major influence on they way they will be raised. You will also have sons and if you don't respect your wife they won't respect women!

Harsh, very harsh. But incredibly true. Ask these questions now or you'll regret it later. I know a couple of Sikhs (and a Singhni) who are lamenting their reticence in asking the tough questions before marriage, and now... well, they're tending to their wounds, let's leave it at that. I know a fair number of Sikhs who've fallen on hard times; we have an unofficial support network going on, lol.

However, whether you receive honest answers to the above questions is entirely in the hands of God, I.E. you might be lied to. It's been known to happen.

Of course, respect and honour goes both ways IMO. If a Sikh expects his potential wife to not have had any boyfriends, I believe he too should have refrained from similar activities. It's only fair.

[JagsawSingh]

Its actually really quite difficult to give the OP the answers he needs. I mean alot of us have married in Punjab but the difference is that most of us went for rural girls from the pend. The difficulty the OP has is that it is EXTREMELY rare to find a true dastar wearing Singhni in the pends. They do exist.....quite rare in Punjab..... but mostly among the urban classes. Again, the difficulty the OP now faces is that marriage alliances are nearly always introduced by acquaintances, but there is such a divide between the man who's family is from the pend and a girl who's life and family is urban that they will not have any common acquaintances so the introduction is not very likely at all. i.e their paths will not cross.He'll never know she exists and she'll never know he exists.

My honest humble opinion / advice ?

As someone else here mentioned don't limit yourself to India. For example, there are well over 150,000 Sikhs in Italy and among them there is a massive - and growing- community of chardi kala Kaurs. They're born and bred in Italy and so have that beautifull sounding way of talking and their European language skills will always give them an advantage when it comes to landing city jobs in London. If I had my way I'd get rid of the one I have now and get one from Italy instead. Just wish I kept the receipt.

[MisterrSingh]

If I had my way I'd get rid of the one I have now and get one from Italy instead. Just wish I kept the receipt.

:o

I know you have a commendably wry sense of humour, Singh Ji, but I can't tell if you're joking in this instance.

[JagsawSingh]

:o

I know you have a commendably wry sense of humour, Singh Ji, but I can't tell if you're joking in this instance.

90% joking. I mean I love my wife dearly and wouldn't have it any other way but we do have Italian Sikh friends and acquaintances and I just love the way they talk. I could sit and listen to their voices all day. And their cooking skills too. Especially Pizza. I mean real actual Italian Pizza. What we're used to is American Pizza, its not the way they make it in Italy at all. The way the Italians make pizza has no resemblence at all to what we eat at pizza hut etc. And now, I have absolutely no idea how I went from talking about Sikhs in Italy to pizza :omg: I think I might be a racist. Lets just be glad nobody's mentioned prospective Sikh brides from Singapore. No doubt I would have brought chop suey into the conversation.

[MisterrSingh]

90% joking. I mean I love my wife dearly and wouldn't have it any other way but we do have Italian Sikh friends and acquaintances and I just love the way they talk. I could sit and listen to their voices all day. And their cooking skills too. Especially Pizza. I mean real actual Italian Pizza. What we're used to is American Pizza, its not the way they make it in Italy at all. The way the Italians make pizza has no resemblence at all to what we eat at pizza hut etc. And now, I have absolutely no idea how I went from talking about Sikhs in Italy to pizza :omg: I think I might be a racist. Lets just be glad nobody's mentioned prospective Sikh brides from Singapore. No doubt I would have brought chop suey into the conversation.

I have two cousins born in Punjab who embarked for Italy (I think Venezia) with their families when they were 11 or so, and you're absolutely correct, it's a wonderful language and culture. The way they describe life in Italy is almost like a dream to someone like me. Clearly, they are working class and they all work very hard and long hours, but they've completely bought into the Italian culture whilst still keeping Sikhi alive. They speak the language fluently and it sounds brilliant, but they wish they could speak English, and I tell them I wish I could speak Italian. But, yep, can't really object to genuine Italian pizza. It's the thin crusts and lower quantities of cheese that clinch the deal.