Children - Overrated?

[Balkaar]

A while ago I was criticizing the notion that the elderly ought be thought of as wise because of their decrepitude. I've been considering the other age demographics and I think the notions surrounding children are just as rife with misrepresentations and fantasies as those hovering around their grandparents. I'll admit to some apprehension here, knowing that a lot of people here are probably parents, and how defensive parents can be where their offspring are concerned.

I've noticed that a lot of parents are totally delusional about the extent of their childrens' intelligence or ability. A lot of simpering mothers have boasted to me about the fact that their sprog is capable of buttoning his own overalls at the age of 12 months, and that this is clearly the rudiment of some embryonic genius which will probably manifest itself in later years as a cure for cancer. I can't be the only one who is totally unimpressed and unmoved by this, can I? If a child was writing symphonies aged five like Beethoven was then I'd be the first to concede their potential, but something as innocuous as tying one's shoelaces, irrespective of age, is never impressive and shouldn't elicit such praise. Children also receive ovation for the potency of their imaginations, which has always been confusing. When George R.R Martin or Hillary Mantel are weaving together intricate and original universes full of complex political intrigue and subtly rendered characters, I don't see why a slobbering juvenile receives such adulation for drawing a lion in rollerskates, as though such a concept would be inconceivable to anyone else.

There’s also the idea that children are pure and innocent, little angels and little darlings as yet unschooled in the ruthlessness of the world. It's strange to think that people who were once children themselves can entertain such saccharine naivety. The primary school playground operates under a system of politics similar to the one prevalent in high-school corridors, albeit more simplified. One might even call it more animalstic/unevolved. All the features of the latter find an expression in the former, the exclusive cliques, the ostracized outcasts sitting alone in some well-shadowed spot, violence, bullying, et cetera. Children simply are not more attuned to morality. Our ideas of right and wrong are accretions from the societies we inhabit, from the figures whom we consider to be authorities. A child will never stop stealing biscuits if nobody tells them that it is wrong. Children seem to me to be far more susceptible to wrongdoing because societal ethics haven't really had enough time to make an impression upon them.

I'd be interested to hear the sangat's thoughts on the subject.

[MisterrSingh]

Double post.

[MisterrSingh]

From one of my favourite books as a child, Matilda:

It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful. Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius.

Well, there is nothing very wrong with all this. It's the way of the world. It is only when the parents begin telling us about the brilliance of their own revolting offspring, that we start shouting, "Bring us a basin! We're going to be sick!"

School teachers suffer a good deal from having to listen to this sort of twaddle from proud parents, but they usually get their own back when the time comes to write the end-of-term reports. If I were a teacher I would cook up some real scorchers for the children of doting parents. "Your son Maximilian", I would write, "is a total wash-out. I hope you have a family business you can push him into when he leaves school because he sure as heck won't get a job anywhere else." Or if I were feeling lyrical that day, I might write, "It is a curious truth that grasshoppers have their hearing organs in the sides of the abdomen. Your daughter Vanessa, judging by what she's learnt this term, has no hearing-organs at all." I might even delve deeper into natural history and say, "The periodical cicada spends six years as a grub underground, and no more than six days as a free creature of sunlight and air. Your son Wilfred has spent six years as a grub in this school and we are still waiting for him to emerge from the chrysalis." A particularly poisonous little girl might sting me into saying, "Fiona has the same glacial beauty as an iceberg, but unlike the iceberg she has absolutely nothing below the surface."

[MisterrSingh]

I suppose it's a manifestation of moh and ankhaar, two vices that are especially relevant when it comes to how we view loved ones and the blinkers that descend when we refuse to see anything remotely negative about that person.

I went to school with a few children whose parents were constantly massaging their egos and their accomplishments, always cosying up to the teaching staff, etc. Funny thing was here I am, this rotund (at the time, lol) little Sikh kid who'd routinely outperform them in classes with no encouragement and involvement from my own parents (great parents but no idea about modern education). That really infuriated and mystified a few of them!

I find it's a symptom of pushy-parent syndrome once the preserve of white parents, but I've been noticing our upwardly mobile lot aren't too far behind in their fawning and aggrandisement of their own children. The lack of self awareness is staggering. But I'm also a bit of a curmudgeon so that explains my low threshold for tolerating such palaver.

[Balkaar]

From one of my favourite books as a child, Matilda:

I didn't think I could forgive Roald Dahl after he attacked beards with such brutality in The Twits, but that extract has caused him to soar in my estimation. I welcome him once more into my heart as a kindred spirit. Thank you for sharing Jio

I find it's a symptom of pushy-parent syndrome once the preserve of white parents, but I've been noticing our upwardly mobile lot aren't too far behind in their fawning and aggrandisement of their own children. The lack of self awareness is staggering. But I'm also a bit of a curmudgeon so that explains my low threshold for tolerating such palaver.

What I find particularly astonishing is that it somehow manages to be symptomatic of both the culture of pushy parents/incitement to achievement that you describe, and its exact opposite, namely, the culture of 'every child is a winner/ deserves a trophy just for competing'. It seems there is no escaping this silly notion.

I also feel like I've fallen victim to very premature curmudgeonhood. I'm actually glad though, there's way too much sickly sweetness fluttering and tinkling about in the world these days and I like to think I'm on the other side of the scale helping to maintain the proper balance of things. What's more, I'm in excellent company.

[Balkaar]

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[eduardo]

I used to steal chocolate from the local shop, take it to school and distribute to friends to make myself more popular, I was 8 years old, so yeah children understand politics alright.

[KhoonKaBadlaKhoon]

I used to steal chocolate from the local shop, take it to school and distribute to friends to make myself more popular, I was 8 years old, so yeah children understand politics alright.

Did you by any chance begin stealing and manipulating people to liking you more after the age of 7? I think you have just proved Preets theory correct. Lol.

[MisterrSingh]

I also feel like I've fallen victim to very premature curmudgeonhood. I'm actually glad though, there's way too much sickly sweetness fluttering and tinkling about in the world these days and I like to think I'm on the other side of the scale helping to maintain the proper balance of things. What's more, I'm in excellent company.

A bit of a turbulent existence will do that to a person, hehe. A tolerance of silly, meaningless things that seem so incredibly important to most people will seem inconsequential to someone who has experienced the darker side of human nature and life.

But it's too easy to succumb to being in a constant state of perpetual cynicism. Before you know you'll end up like Scrooge. Gotta keep it fresh and funny. Gurbani helps me in that respect to gain perspective.

But most days my internal dialogue is shockingly harsh, lol.

[eduardo]

Well to be honest singing religious songs is a great boost to me, that and physical exercise but I do drink too much.

That's why I like Sikhi, because you sing about the Vaheguru, and it has to be in Punjabi otherwise it doesn't sound right.