Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Guest Romantic Singh

How Do I Solve This Problem?

Recommended Posts

Guest Romantic Singh

Need help guyssssss!

So i've been with this girl for about a year, im a baptised Sikh, she is not of Sikh faith. We;ve never physically had sex with each other or physically kissed each other on the lips etc. however we have hugged, felt each other etc. She understood that we would never cross the line of sex and kissing because it would be a bujjer kureit and would ultimately affect my Baptism.

I want to know from you all whats the best way of staying away from these situations? I do feel bad that i get in these situations where it nearly leads to intercourse but we decide to stop because we dont want to mess up. This has happened twice now and i dont want it to happen for a 3rd time because i know ill end up breaking my rehat which is the last thing i want. The first time it happened i did sukhmani sahib and japji sahib and felt a lot better. However whenever im with her the situation gets out of hand which i dont want to carry on. i really need your help.


Thank you

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jacfsing2

Need help guyssssss!

So i've been with this girl for about a year, im a baptised Sikh, she is not of Sikh faith. We;ve never physically had sex with each other or physically kissed each other on the lips etc. however we have hugged, felt each other etc. She understood that we would never cross the line of sex and kissing because it would be a bujjer kureit and would ultimately affect my Baptism.

I want to know from you all whats the best way of staying away from these situations? I do feel bad that i get in these situations where it nearly leads to intercourse but we decide to stop because we dont want to mess up. This has happened twice now and i dont want it to happen for a 3rd time because i know ill end up breaking my rehat which is the last thing i want. The first time it happened i did sukhmani sahib and japji sahib and felt a lot better. However whenever im with her the situation gets out of hand which i dont want to carry on. i really need your help.

Thank you

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! I'd say to end the relationship, I don't think it'll work out to be honest, you are trying to be a Sikh; while her mind wouldn't entertain the idea. What you want to do is up to you, if she decides to also take Amrit maybe you can get in some getting to know each other period, but since I can assume it won't happen anytime soon, I'd just end the relationship. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh, hopefully you can get the best from Guru Sahib.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

You have to make a decision as to whether you prioritize Sikhi or her. You went, sold your head to the Guru and said you would follow the Guru's way (Gurmat), which expressly forbids such interactions.

Stay away. You are on the cliff and about to fall into a pit of despair. There is no guarantee next time you will stop. What you have already done is dangerous. Either she comes into Sikhi as am Amritdhari Gursikh and you both marry (and stay away from each other until then) or she will poison your Sikhi (not really her, but your mutual attraction to each other will take you down a path of bujjar kurehit and patit-puna).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My honest advise would be to first;

1 - does she have interest in Sikhi or becoming Amrithdari one day?

2 - will this relationship ruin any current relationship you with with family members and vice versa for her?

3 - after doing your Nitnem and Ardaas, before you do anything, do Ardaas but focus on asking for guidance from Guru Ji directly and if you can, take a Hukumnama ( do you have Maharaaj at home )?

Its good to ask the Sangat for help but there is a small risk on the internet that you will only get what people's interpretation of Sikhi is and there is no guarantee you will get a response from someone who lives, breathes and walks the path which is what you really need.

If she has interest in Sikhi and you, ask her if she is willing to be Blessed with Amrit, not just for you but does her heart yearn to learn about Sikhi? If so, good luck.

PS - I forgot to say, these feelings and urges are one of the five evils so try your best to control it, see yourself in a third view and look at yourself and think twice, thrice if you need to. Try your best to curb your feelings and your actions in the same way you try to control anger, greed etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest XYZ

There is only one thing can you give her love so she can become like you as a Sikh. If you can not leave her then you must love her and show what is Sikhi is all about. As long as you both believe in abstinence you are on the right track. You can not force Sikhi on to anyone but your love to her she will appreciate your religion and become a Gursikh. All you need to do is Repeat Wehaguru and she repeats it back it will give her feelings of the lord that she could ever imagine. Next time if you hug her do simran.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Pargaas

U already did a bajjar kurehit my friend,

Where or not some people consider it a kurehit but yes it is.

If:

1. If u kiss

2. If u hug to felt her

3. Even if u hold her hand with any other intentions different from ur sister, yes its a kurehit.

Sorry my English is not gud but i always read posts of people, is it a kurehit , i kissed her is it a kurehit?

I hug her is it a kurehit?

Guru ji told to look for all girls as sisters,mom or daughter,

So any action( hugging kissing or just holding hand doesnt matter even if u touch her hand), if u did with any girl and if u cannot do the same action with same intentions with ur real sister or real mom, YES itis a bajjer kurehit.

Rest is all upto personal thinking, i have a friend who used to call her would we wife as sister

(Until he see her or talk to her on phone)

When u look at a girl for the first time, its okay, its human nature to look around who is there and here, but

If ur eyes goes to the same girl with lust the second time, it is paap

Dont let ur eyes go to any girl second time,

I always wonder people posting,

Sangat ji we are with each other, sangat ji we like each other nd so on

If u do so, sorry to say my veer, u already broke guru jis hukam, if u stay in guru jis hukam, u will not post this post today that we hig each other, if u stay in hukam she will be ur sister today,

Breaking guru jia hukam in any way, its a kurehit veerji

Plz dont take this reply personally, i used "you" word not only for u, but for all of us.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  



  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Amrita Sher gil, similar paintings to the ones of the bengali renaissance   i like the earthy colours she used. the people in he paintings look really depressed.    I remember seeing a painting of nihung singhs by her  but i cant find it now  amrita in her studio 
    • remember when the kar sewa babe tried demolishing the 200 yr old dharshan deori in the middle of the night at tarn taran darbar sahib, well 10 months on and nothing has been restored yet! no one has been arrested for the damage despite a complaint made.  Funny how the youth that damaged the statues of the dancing people at amritsar were arrested straight away, yet the people involved in demolishing a 200 yr old building at Tarn Taran darbar sahib are still walking around free. https://www.hindustantimes.com/cities/10-months-on-no-progress-on-restoration-of-darshani-deori-in-tarn-taran-gurdwara/story-TUnzuVr5i9TtVxaJqbnRHK.html 10 months on, no progress on restoration of Darshani Deori in Tarn Taran gurdwara   CITIES Updated: Jan 30, 2020 22:55 IST Anil Sharma Hindustan Times, Tarn Taran A view of the partially demolished Darshani Deori of Gurudwara Darbar Sahib in Tarn Tran in on Saturday. (HT PHOTO)       Tarn Taran Ten months after Kar Sewa activists demolished a portion of the Darshani Deori, the main entrance leading to the sanctum sanctorum of the historic Gurdwara Darbar Sahib on March 31, restoration and preservation of the structure is yet to begin. Baba Jagtar Singh headed the Kar Sewa Group involved in the incident, but was not present at the spot. The only work towards restoration has been that the Shiromani Gurdwara Parbandhak Committee (SGPC) has formed a sub-committee of its members and subject experts for the preservation and renovation of this important relic of Sikh heritage. Gurdwara manager Balwinder Singh said, “Restoration work of the Deori has not been started as SAD (Amritsar) president Simranjit Singh Mann has filed a writ petition in the Punjab and Haryana high court. However, we have no stay order from the court on restoration and preservation work of the structure.” Mann has filed a plea in court seeking action against Baba Jagtar Singh and the activists, who, he claimed, had ‘destroyed’ the gurdwara. An SGPC member Bhagwant Singh Sialka claimed, “Experts from Guru Nanak Dev Engineering College, Ludhiana, have scanned the structure for its restoration.” No action against accused, despite SGPC panel indictment  The accused in the case are roaming free, in spite of a four-member SGPC probe committee’s recommendation of a police case against them. The panel comprised Sialka, Bhai Ram Singh (both SGPC members); Gurmeet Singh and Harjit Singh Lalu Ghuman (assistant secretaries). It had submitted its report to SGPC president Gobind Singh Longowal on April 5, 2019. After this, Longowal had said they will get police cases registered against the accused. The panel had held the Kar Sewa and the then manager of the gurdwara, Partap Singh, ‘guilty’ of demolishing the historic structure without its permission. It had also taken back the right of doing Kar Sewa (voluntarily religious service) at the gurdwara from Baba Jagtar Singh. “The Kar Sewa head had tendered an apology, and had claimed that he had not received the new order from the SGPC for not demolishing the historic structure. The probe into this claim is on,” Sialka told HT over phone. When questioned, if a police complaint had been lodged against the accused, SGPC chief secretary Roop Singh said, “I am not aware. I hope the manager of the gurdwara must have lodged a police complaint.” Gurdwara manager Balwinder said no complaint had been lodged. “The SGPC is not only shielding the accused, it is also playing with the sentiments of devotees,” claimed Harpal Singh, general secretary, SAD (Amritsar). Tejbir Singh, of Tarn Taran, said, “For trying to demolish folk dancers’ statues at the Heritage Street, police have registered a case of attempt to murder. For demolishing a 200-year-old historic structure, however, no action has been taken. This is shameful.” Quotes (if needed)   Restoration work of the Deori has not been started as SAD (A) president Simranjit Singh Mann has filed a writ petition in the Punjab and Haryana HC. Balwinder Singh, manager, Gurdwara Darbar Sahib, Tarn Taran The SGPC is not only shielding the accused, it is also playing with the sentiments of devotees. Harpal Singh, general secretary, SAD (A)
    • Samurai armour was really quite deceptive when it came down to appearance, it looks really fragile and not fit for purpose, but was extremely tough.  The Samurai developed a special lacquer which was used to toughen natural materials.  This enabled the armour to retain toughness and lightweight properties which enabled the Samurai to move with speed and agility.  They wore face masks that were intended to frighten the enemy whilst masking ones own expressions during battle.     
    • Today we have a major issue with Sikh youth walking into university classes like sociology and walking out extremist.  Whether that be feminist extremist or LGBTQ extremist or atheist.  When it comes to Gurbani these groups and people look for lines or a line of Gurbani and take it out of context to support their extremist LGBTQ beliefs on marriage,  gender being same or new thing no gender or infinite gender.  Like we had the ignorant couple from the states who got married by having his wife walk along with him.  The point being they dont follow Guru Sahib.   They attain 'knowledge' else where and want to force it on Sikhi.   The Sikh youth laugh at the Sikhs who bow at a fake baba's feet.  But, the irony is the Gurmukhs are shaking their head at both of them.  One is bowing to a fake baba and the other is bowing their mind by accepting secular knowledge that will always be in the trial phase.  Neither are better than the other.  The youth of today, and it's been done by a few old farts, attain masters or doctorate in fields like chemistry,  sociology or another field and then say we have a doctorate in Sikhi.  They write articles on what they want Sikhi to be and in their name they put "dr.".  Such deception is being done by these old farts.  Sikhi is about honesty, yet they start their article with deception.    If you want to be a Sikh, then Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji is the teacher and classroom.  Not your sociology professor who tells you abortion of a 37 week baby is a women birth right choice, but dont kill that cow because imeat industry  is killing the environment,  go vegan.   In short,  dont be the monkey with the wrench. 
    • When it comes to other religious scriptures why did Guru Sahib say to read them? Was it to understand how to be moral? Gurbani provides us with spiritual wisdom and morals of the highest kind. It would be counterproductive to look else where for morals. Guru sahib says, give me your head (completely and only focus on the shabad) when you come on the Gurmat path. Guru Sahib tells sikhs to read other religious scriptures because when a Gurmukh has fully attuned his mind with Gurbani he can see naam everywhere. So when reading other religious scripture the Gurmukh can pick up on the naam that is there and serve the humans that are lost in the vedas, gita, bible, Koran, Torah, etc. Also Gurbani makes references on other religious scriptures concepts so we can achieve a total picture of their concepts when reading their scriptures. But many lose sight of the goal and start collecting merchandise (intellectual knowledge and maya)from these scriptures. But Guru Sahib says all merchandise can be achieved from Gurbani. Anand Sahib says this path is sharper than a double edged sword and finer than a hair.  The path of Gurmat can be simple if we follow the instructions of Gurbani or life can be made difficult by losing the purpose in life as Gurbani describes it.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use