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Guest Romantic Singh

How Do I Solve This Problem?

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Guest Romantic Singh

Need help guyssssss!

So i've been with this girl for about a year, im a baptised Sikh, she is not of Sikh faith. We;ve never physically had sex with each other or physically kissed each other on the lips etc. however we have hugged, felt each other etc. She understood that we would never cross the line of sex and kissing because it would be a bujjer kureit and would ultimately affect my Baptism.

I want to know from you all whats the best way of staying away from these situations? I do feel bad that i get in these situations where it nearly leads to intercourse but we decide to stop because we dont want to mess up. This has happened twice now and i dont want it to happen for a 3rd time because i know ill end up breaking my rehat which is the last thing i want. The first time it happened i did sukhmani sahib and japji sahib and felt a lot better. However whenever im with her the situation gets out of hand which i dont want to carry on. i really need your help.


Thank you

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Guest Jacfsing2

Need help guyssssss!

So i've been with this girl for about a year, im a baptised Sikh, she is not of Sikh faith. We;ve never physically had sex with each other or physically kissed each other on the lips etc. however we have hugged, felt each other etc. She understood that we would never cross the line of sex and kissing because it would be a bujjer kureit and would ultimately affect my Baptism.

I want to know from you all whats the best way of staying away from these situations? I do feel bad that i get in these situations where it nearly leads to intercourse but we decide to stop because we dont want to mess up. This has happened twice now and i dont want it to happen for a 3rd time because i know ill end up breaking my rehat which is the last thing i want. The first time it happened i did sukhmani sahib and japji sahib and felt a lot better. However whenever im with her the situation gets out of hand which i dont want to carry on. i really need your help.

Thank you

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! I'd say to end the relationship, I don't think it'll work out to be honest, you are trying to be a Sikh; while her mind wouldn't entertain the idea. What you want to do is up to you, if she decides to also take Amrit maybe you can get in some getting to know each other period, but since I can assume it won't happen anytime soon, I'd just end the relationship. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh, hopefully you can get the best from Guru Sahib.

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VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

You have to make a decision as to whether you prioritize Sikhi or her. You went, sold your head to the Guru and said you would follow the Guru's way (Gurmat), which expressly forbids such interactions.

Stay away. You are on the cliff and about to fall into a pit of despair. There is no guarantee next time you will stop. What you have already done is dangerous. Either she comes into Sikhi as am Amritdhari Gursikh and you both marry (and stay away from each other until then) or she will poison your Sikhi (not really her, but your mutual attraction to each other will take you down a path of bujjar kurehit and patit-puna).

Edited by ms514

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My honest advise would be to first;

1 - does she have interest in Sikhi or becoming Amrithdari one day?

2 - will this relationship ruin any current relationship you with with family members and vice versa for her?

3 - after doing your Nitnem and Ardaas, before you do anything, do Ardaas but focus on asking for guidance from Guru Ji directly and if you can, take a Hukumnama ( do you have Maharaaj at home )?

Its good to ask the Sangat for help but there is a small risk on the internet that you will only get what people's interpretation of Sikhi is and there is no guarantee you will get a response from someone who lives, breathes and walks the path which is what you really need.

If she has interest in Sikhi and you, ask her if she is willing to be Blessed with Amrit, not just for you but does her heart yearn to learn about Sikhi? If so, good luck.

PS - I forgot to say, these feelings and urges are one of the five evils so try your best to control it, see yourself in a third view and look at yourself and think twice, thrice if you need to. Try your best to curb your feelings and your actions in the same way you try to control anger, greed etc.

Edited by RanjeetSingh

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Guest XYZ

There is only one thing can you give her love so she can become like you as a Sikh. If you can not leave her then you must love her and show what is Sikhi is all about. As long as you both believe in abstinence you are on the right track. You can not force Sikhi on to anyone but your love to her she will appreciate your religion and become a Gursikh. All you need to do is Repeat Wehaguru and she repeats it back it will give her feelings of the lord that she could ever imagine. Next time if you hug her do simran.

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Guest Pargaas

U already did a bajjar kurehit my friend,

Where or not some people consider it a kurehit but yes it is.

If:

1. If u kiss

2. If u hug to felt her

3. Even if u hold her hand with any other intentions different from ur sister, yes its a kurehit.

Sorry my English is not gud but i always read posts of people, is it a kurehit , i kissed her is it a kurehit?

I hug her is it a kurehit?

Guru ji told to look for all girls as sisters,mom or daughter,

So any action( hugging kissing or just holding hand doesnt matter even if u touch her hand), if u did with any girl and if u cannot do the same action with same intentions with ur real sister or real mom, YES itis a bajjer kurehit.

Rest is all upto personal thinking, i have a friend who used to call her would we wife as sister

(Until he see her or talk to her on phone)

When u look at a girl for the first time, its okay, its human nature to look around who is there and here, but

If ur eyes goes to the same girl with lust the second time, it is paap

Dont let ur eyes go to any girl second time,

I always wonder people posting,

Sangat ji we are with each other, sangat ji we like each other nd so on

If u do so, sorry to say my veer, u already broke guru jis hukam, if u stay in guru jis hukam, u will not post this post today that we hig each other, if u stay in hukam she will be ur sister today,

Breaking guru jia hukam in any way, its a kurehit veerji

Plz dont take this reply personally, i used "you" word not only for u, but for all of us.

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