Enjoying Married Life

[Guest Gupt biba]

Hello everyone

I have questions in mind since getting married in near future. If a guy and girl both amritdharis, do they have any restrictions about enjoying the sexual life according to sikh principles? Like some sikh says even after marriage try to avoid sex as much as possible or some says do it for reproduction of human race only. What if the sikh couple want to enjoy it multiple times a day? Will it be against sikhism?

Similarly what if one partner is oh bhagti simran nature and other is of western culture, one try to avoid and other want to enjoy, what to do in that case.

Thanks in advance

[sikhni777]

Sex was created by God to be enjoyed. If you don't enjoy it with your partner unlimitedly when married - or deprive your partner then you run into marital problems. Too much of anything is dangerous. It is not something you will do like for many hours. Of course if it becomes the total focus of your life then it's a problem. Follow your common sense and not what people tell you. Guru Nanak Dev ji gave us only one main rule which should be our focus at all times - do jap or simran all the time. This is what guides us and helps us experience bliss in all areas of life. .

[Guest Op]

U r right but i asked if two partners were of different nature then its a big issue

[sikhni777]

Adjust. .. is the word that leads to success in many areas of marriage especially the sexual bit.

[Guest Gupt biba]

Hope satguru ji will give me the partner whose all focus is in gurbani and meditation,

Dhanwad ji for replies

[Guest Marriageissuez]

Its really important to be of similar nature and communicate. Ie expectations need to be similar. Otherwise you end up in a seperate bedroom and have issues if one partner beleives it ok to forbid it all.

Then you get probs of ppl desiring more or cheating etc.

Which is nonsense as even kaam is created by God. But some ppl beleive to abstain, others moderation and others to enjoy.

[harsharan000]

Married life is not only about sex.

it is about feelings, of love, of communication, of understanding one an other, of adjusting oneself to adapt to the other partner or spouse, in having children, an invaluable gift from God, and mostly it is in growing as human beings.

Men and women are very different in nature, in thoughts. It is quite a big an admirable thing in marrying and staying together. But is also a vow of respecting each other, and being truthful throughout life, no matter if is sunshine or storms.

Sex is desire created in the mind, of craving for pleasure, which is normal to an extent, as men and women, But excess in this matter, is sickness. You see, the whole world is getting carried away by kaam, even the devtas are not devoid of kaam. such is this powerful weapon, which Kal uses mercilessly to keep his mayavee creation in motion without stop

People change partners as we change clothes everyday. Why? Because of kaam. Such a shame. The whole world is burning in the subtle fire of kaam.

It is only through Gurmat, we come to be aware of this subtle malady of kaam, to which the whole world looks as a valid, desirable and a acceptable way to enjoy life.

Bhakti as per Gurmat is a fence around us, which protects us from the heat of kaam by literally throwing out from us, this dusht called "kaam".

No matter how much we may sing the inmense glory of Sikhee and its benefits, but we shall always remain short to its real height and value.

The only valid antidote to kaam, and as well as other vikars, is only Nam Bhakti of Akal Purukh.

Sat Sree Akal.

[Guest Simrannn]

I have been through kaam too much and have changed to bhagti marag from two years, soon or lator i will be married in near future, i never really think of my wife and all that, but the only thing that worried me sometimes is that, my nature is purely guru lover, i have no passions for new cars now, no passions of branded clothes and no desires for eating different tastes of food,

I used to have all these hobbies but now i have no love for all these stuffs, sometimes need to eat outside and go to restaurant and when they ask what u need,

I really have no desire for saying paneer matar, or shahi panner etc, i replies, just anything.

Feels like i just need to eat for surviving. I am nearly 27.

Most of time i am connected to kirtans and gurubani, listening all the time, i feel guilty and ask for forgiveness from guru ji if my eyes goes on any girl in a lusty way.

I am not against marriage but i think after marriage, the new environment, sangat of wife, sexual life and all that will drag me cage of kaam and other vices,

My wife will take atleast half of my hours from a day,

When i sleep, try to do swaas swaas simran until sleep, continue asking for gurus kirpa, requesting guru that plz take me out from janam maran circle while going for sleep,

But after marriage she will with me and i will not able to continue my simran while sleeping.

Dnt know, sachepatshah ji mehar karn

[Akalifauj]

Sex was created by God to be enjoyed. If you don't enjoy it with your partner unlimitedly when married - or deprive your partner then you run into marital problems. Too much of anything is dangerous. It is not something you will do like for many hours. Of course if it becomes the total focus of your life then it's a problem. Follow your common sense and not what people tell you. Guru Nanak Dev ji gave us only one main rule which should be our focus at all times - do jap or simran all the time. This is what guides us and helps us experience bliss in all areas of life. .

Addressing your first sentence. Why cannot it be done outside of marriage? It can be enjoyed outside of marriage and with multiple partners for some this brings more enjoyment. Also point out where it says only after marriage it can be enjoyed and God made it to be enjoyed.

There are a lot of things made that can be enjoyed. For instance alcohol makes living more enjoyable. Can alcohol after marriage be enjoyed with the partner or before marriage with multiple partners at the same time? What about the new latest drugs? Kids these days swear by the enjoyment they get from such drugs.

It's sounds to me a marriage license is the ticket out of hell. It's like James Bond license to kill. Fast cars, lots of women, drinking, dressing nice, nice vacations, and multiple living spaces. Can you point out where all this is approved. I'm surprised to read where the Guru would approve of such instinctual behavior. Very excited to hear back from you.

[Akalifauj]

I have been through kaam too much and have changed to bhagti marag from two years, soon or lator i will be married in near future, i never really think of my wife and all that, but the only thing that worried me sometimes is that, my nature is purely guru lover, i have no passions for new cars now, no passions of branded clothes and no desires for eating different tastes of food,

I used to have all these hobbies but now i have no love for all these stuffs, sometimes need to eat outside and go to restaurant and when they ask what u need,

I really have no desire for saying paneer matar, or shahi panner etc, i replies, just anything.

Feels like i just need to eat for surviving. I am nearly 27.

Most of time i am connected to kirtans and gurubani, listening all the time, i feel guilty and ask for forgiveness from guru ji if my eyes goes on any girl in a lusty way.

I am not against marriage but i think after marriage, the new environment, sangat of wife, sexual life and all that will drag me cage of kaam and other vices,

My wife will take atleast half of my hours from a day,

When i sleep, try to do swaas swaas simran until sleep, continue asking for gurus kirpa, requesting guru that plz take me out from janam maran circle while going for sleep,

But after marriage she will with me and i will not able to continue my simran while sleeping.

Dnt know, sachepatshah ji mehar karn

Set the tone for what is required of both of you by the Guru. She will appreciate it and be thankful sooner or later. Live for the Guru and not for another human being. Also stop fixation on what will happen. Gurbani say to put faith in Guru Sahib if you follow his teachings. Only the Guru can get rid of your anxiety over this issue. Take the problem to the Guru and listen to his wisdom. We humans will only lead you in the wrong direction. We are wild hunters looking to capture those who are weak in our net. We will rob you of your good intentions and fill your mind with filth. We will convince you to walk away from the Guru with our clever mind games.