Jump to content

Many times, a woman wants to simply feel heard


singhbj singh
 Share

Recommended Posts

23 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

the truth is guys also talk with their mates at work/ home , often the women are isolated by the dual jobs and demands of being the primary caregiver , is it really so unreasonable to talk and share with their life partner , sometimes we have to smooth our husbands ruffled feathers or brows ...can you not do the same ? I do not see a reason to be so wound up by this. Most of the singhnian I know are not prone to moaning on every little thing , who has the luxury of time/energy for that

If a guy regularly does the equivalent of what my female friends call 'venting' to his male friends, he'll soon get a reputation as a whiny git who brings the mood down. lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

26 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

If a guy regularly does the equivalent of what my female friends call 'venting' to his male friends, he'll soon get a reputation as a whiny git who brings the mood down. lol

yeah that's why they come home and do it to their long-suffering missus instead :)  worst will happen at work with mates  is they will rip the S out of him, and hopefully he will relent if he doesn't want a repeat. I know my Hubby's cycle for restlessness: every four years he'll suddenly get itchy feet and despondent about life (without  cause) , then there's the road rage and general peevishness after a tough week , That's when the mikey-taking skills, and gopi chand jasoos about work situ comes in handy ... 

Fact is we aren't so different I know loads of guys who like to be drama queens at home  I suspect it's just displacement

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

yeah that's why they come home and do it to their long-suffering missus instead :)  worst will happen at work with mates  is they will rip the S out of him, and hopefully he will relent if he doesn't want a repeat. I know my Hubby's cycle for restlessness: every four years he'll suddenly get itchy feet and despondent about life (without  cause) , then there's the road rage and general peevishness after a tough week , That's when the mikey-taking skills, and gopi chand jasoos about work situ comes in handy ... 

Fact is we aren't so different I know loads of guys who like to be drama queens at home  I suspect it's just displacement

I think a lot of old school guys see it like: "I deal with this sh1t world outside everyday. At the end of it I just want to come home to a sanctuary that isn't full of conflict to rest and recuperate." So if you have a missus that is conflict inclined. Do the math. Usually I notice these guys get worn out physically and mentally and turn into docile mice like creatures.

But then again I have recently met married men with children who love coming to work to get away from the family. lol Work is like the highlight of the day. 

 

What is up with those male drama queens? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, dallysingh101 said:

I think a lot of old school guys see it like: "I deal with this sh1t world outside everyday. At the end of it I just want to come hone to a sanctuary that isn't full of conflict to rest and recuperate." So if you have a missus that is conflict inclined. Do the math. Usually I notice these guys get worn out physically and mentally and turn into docile mice like creatures.

But then again I have recently met married men with children who love coming to work to get away from the family. lol Work is like the highlight of the day. 

 

What is up with those male drama queens? 

sounds like my bro and his punjabi missus...

My hubby works with loads of the second type and they are forever making out that they have it tough at home then overcompensate at work with leery behaviour and sexist jokes , they are very resentful of anything they have to do any family stuff, and make endless schemes to get out of it to party with the office dudes. My husband just lets me know he has a something on and I'm cool  (I'm not mad ...I don't want a Drama Queen in my living room ) 'that's fine , have fun'  he has no fuel to complain. win-win

Drama Queens are just mummy boys who are triggered by life

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Jacfsing2
25 minutes ago, Preeet said:

Wow, what is this talk? Our religion has no munda kuri farkh, so talks like this are simply a waste of time since we are all just atmans, and not bodies! 

These talks are basically a waste of time; if they want to talk about their problems they should be willing to hear a solution.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

47 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

These talks are basically a waste of time; if they want to talk about their problems they should be willing to hear a solution.

I've had that a few times. Female friends calling me about some issue and me pitching in with some strategies to counteract it.....and them getting peed off that I'm talking....what the heck?!?!?!

"I don't want you to say anything just listen!" what the heck?!?!?!?

 

Like I said, if women want one-way convos - talk to other women. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Preeet said:

I was talking about these replies saying that theres a difference between girls and boys regarding atmans. There is no such difference in our religion. It is wrong to generalize genders.

it wasn't a subject about differenes in atma that would be pointless as one jot is much the same as another , but about human behaviour .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

24 minutes ago, Preeet said:

Behavior.. Behavior is emotional responses from a body containing an atman. Without an atman, what behavior is discussable? 

behaviour until one defeats the mind is driven from ego so yes it's maya driven ego responses , the atma is above it all remote because it operates on a different level.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, Preeet said:

Behavior.. Behavior is emotional responses from a body containing an atman. Without an atman, what behavior is discussable? 

All behaviour is discussable. Especially destructive behaviour, as it is so common and easy to do - as well as harmful (me and you can do it as much as the next person). Behaviour can also be manipulated by outside forces. It's Pak understanding of the behaviour of many of our girls and our wider community (i.e. hiding things to keep face) that made them target us for grooming for instance. 

Look at CP in the Dasam Granth. That is essentially a massive exploration of behaviour.

And women and men do have different characteristics. It helps if we make efforts to understand each others differences sometimes. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • There is nothing wrong with starched pagg. The Guru is omniscient (all-knowing). You think he doesn't know our intentions? If somebody wears a starched pagg but still respects it as a crown then whats wrong with that? People think that starch automatically makes people lose their respect for their pagg but thats just false.  And dont make this a caste thing I’m Rajput Jatt sikh (not an ounce of Tarkhan or anything else) and we all starch our INDIAN style punjabi paggs (patiala shahi), but respect them as our crowns and our literal lives. A respected starch pagg is better by far than a freshly tied one which people just disrespect. And people forget that these are not ready made or pre-tied turbans. You still tie them initially but just of course not as frequently. What’s wrong with that?  When your relationship is that strong with the Guru then you know what he means. Speak to him directly, explain why and ask him if it’s okay. Btw I know people who dont starch their turbans (all punjabi/morni style btw) and they just wear it again the next day without tying it if they have toed it really nicely the day before. 😂 You cant really even tell who had tied it and who just wore it again without starch. At least we’re open about it. Bhul chuk maaf    
    • Its called a “fifty” becuase when Singhs were fighting in the British army, they would recieve an 8 metre pagg, with a cour four base, because the base layer was half (50%) of the main turban, it’s called a fifty. The practise of tying a keski under your main one is now seen as pretty weird (except for a patka), but the small coloured strip inder the pagg is still used as a fashion statement since its pretty visually appealing. And so, people now just tie a small little “kung-fu strip” sort of thing under their pagg to imitate that effect.
    • Found how to do it. For anybody else wondering, heres how. No one even helped me btw. So much for Guru Ji’s lhalsa always ready to help (and having their Singhs’ backs smh). (Notes: Aim to do this on a hot summer’s day, and dedicate a full day to this, since you only have to do this once every 4 months at least (normally the turban will stay in shape until you wish to untie it and physically pull it open again). This helps it to dry faster, since you have to starch it, HALF DRY IT, pooni it, tie it and then wear it for around four hours for the rest of it to dry, all in the same day. It’s a one day process but it serves you for months). This works for both the UK/Kenyan style (starch is best for this style) as well as the normal Punjabi paghs (such as Patiala shahi, wattan wali and morni paghs). Not sure about dumallas though. Probably not . Pagg Starch: 1) Boil 6 cups of water in a saucepan on low heat (always low heat) 2) Seperately dissolve 4 tablespoons of maida (all purpose flower) with a little water until it is 100% smooth.  You could also use rice or corn starch. Add more water if it is not a smooth liquid 3) Once completely smooth, pour this mixture through a strainer (to make it even smoother) into the boiling water. 4) Now continuously stir it until it goes completely see through. Keep on stirring it on the low heat until it goes totally transparent (it can take a little while to cook, but the pagg will last you for months!) It will at become a thick paste first, but keep stirring until it becomes see through and thinner.    5) Once it’s transparent, pour the starch (again through a strainer) into a big enough, clean bucket to cool down. 6) Once cool, take a clean, dry turban and completely and mix it in with the starch for around 5 minutes. Make sure that it is all evenly and completely soaked and wet with the starch. (Most people use mal-mal material, but I use full voile and I have used Rubia too. They’re all fine. Maybe use Rubin for smaller turbans and mal mal for larger ones) 7) Leave it out in the sun to HALF DRY ONLY!!!!!!! (Don’t ever let your starched turban fully dry before you tie it. If you do, then you will have to spray/ sprinkle water on it which will weaken the starch and ruin the turban) ONLY HALF DRY THE TURBAN IN THE SUN!!! 😎 Once HALF DRY ONLY take the now semi damp turban, and fold/pooni and then tie it like normal (straight on your head, with no base layer such as a Keski or patka underneath). Leave it on your head for around 4 hours just to fully dry and it will be ready and set for months now. Like I said, do try to tie your dastar every day, but if you can’t or really don’t want to, I hope this helps! Like I said this works on both the traditional Punjabi/Indian style paggs, and the more recent UK/Kenyan style paggs. It does for my morni pagg, but the first larr slips up in to the pagg. This is normal dw. Wjkk, Wjkf
    • I guess easier ways of learning have taken precedence. There are so many Youtube channels and podcasts available that people are more ready to listen for knowledge at their own leisure. There are so many great kathas available online that take months to listen, so that people may not really get the time to come here and write.
    • *Bump The current conflict (w/ Iran getting involved) is being orchestrated by a 3rd party in my opinion. We all are going to blame the Jewish community (how they run the banks, how they are brutal and etc.) but they have a point in this conflict.  As soon as people start finding about the truth that's when the real movement will begin. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use