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gurupyara96

Please help...Relationship and Hukamnama

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ke fateh

I need help. please dont ignore this post

I had marriage proposal(Rishta) last month. Me and my family accept that rishta. Rishta was from gursikh family.

I started talking to that girl every day and first things were ok but now i dont like her behaviour.

So i decided to do ardass and take hukamnama .

Can someone please help me what guru sahib is saying in hukamnama. 

Ang 353

Devghandari mahala 5

Ulti re man ulti re

Screenshot_2017-02-04-23-17-23-1.png

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ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
Dhaevagandhhaaree Mehalaa 5 ||
देवगंधारी महला ५ ॥
Dayv-Gandhaaree, Fifth Mehl:
23874 ਪੰ. ੧੫ 


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ਉਲਟੀ ਰੇ ਮਨ ਉਲਟੀ ਰੇ ॥
Oulattee Rae Man Oulattee Rae ||
उलटी रे मन उलटी रे ॥
Turn away, O my mind, turn away.
23875 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੬ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਸਾਕਤ ਸਿਉ ਕਰਿ ਉਲਟੀ ਰੇ ॥
Saakath Sio Kar Oulattee Rae ||
साकत सिउ करि उलटी रे ॥
Turn away from the faithless cynic.
23876 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੬ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਝੂਠੈ ਕੀ ਰੇ ਝੂਠੁ ਪਰੀਤਿ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਰੇ ਮਨ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਰੇ ਸਾਕਤ ਸੰਗਿ ਨ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਰੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Jhoothai Kee Rae Jhooth Pareeth Shhuttakee Rae Man Shhuttakee Rae Saakath Sang N Shhuttakee Rae ||1|| Rehaao ||
झूठै की रे झूठु परीति छुटकी रे मन छुटकी रे साकत संगि न छुटकी रे ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
False is the love of the false one; break the ties, O my mind, and your ties shall be broken. Break your ties with the faithless cynic. ||1||Pause||
23877 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੬ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਜਿਉ ਕਾਜਰ ਭਰਿ ਮੰਦਰੁ ਰਾਖਿਓ ਜੋ ਪੈਸੈ ਕਾਲੂਖੀ ਰੇ ॥
Jio Kaajar Bhar Mandhar Raakhiou Jo Paisai Kaalookhee Rae ||
जिउ काजर भरि मंदरु राखिओ जो पैसै कालूखी रे ॥
One who enters a house filled with soot is blackened.
23878 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੭ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਦੂਰਹੁ ਹੀ ਤੇ ਭਾਗਿ ਗਇਓ ਹੈ ਜਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਮਿਲਿ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਤ੍ਰਿਕੁਟੀ ਰੇ ॥੧॥
Dhoorahu Hee Thae Bhaag Gaeiou Hai Jis Gur Mil Shhuttakee Thrikuttee Rae ||1||
दूरहु ही ते भागि गइओ है जिसु गुर मिलि छुटकी त्रिकुटी रे ॥१॥
Run far away from such people! One who meets the Guru escapes from the bondage of the three dispositions. ||1||
23879 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੭ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਮਾਗਉ ਦਾਨੁ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾਲ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾ ਨਿਧਿ ਮੇਰਾ ਮੁਖੁ ਸਾਕਤ ਸੰਗਿ ਨ ਜੁਟਸੀ ਰੇ ॥
Maago Dhaan Kirapaal Kirapaa Nidhh Maeraa Mukh Saakath Sang N Juttasee Rae ||
मागउ दानु क्रिपाल क्रिपा निधि मेरा मुखु साकत संगि न जुटसी रे ॥
I beg this blessing of You, O Merciful Lord, ocean of mercy - please, don't bring me face to face with the faithless cyincs.
23880 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੮ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev

 

Definite sign you should break this engagement. If you want a more in-depth analysis I can try but this is the most simplistic translation. Explain to your parents about your concerns, in the end its your life and it seems (from my small perceptive) the HUkam is telling you to run for the hills on this one. Just be careful about it all, people will get offended big time over all this so make sure you choose your words carefully and honestly.

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I think you need to elaborate on what type of behaviour you don't like. Perhaps she is more Sikh than yourself.  Is she doing something wrong or is it just her natural self you don't like.

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Guest Jacfsing2

It's very clear what Guru Sahib said; however, since you mentioned that you were talking to her everyday, but Guru Sahib is telling you not to be an obsessive false lover or making her a false lover. It could telling you that worldly love is false, or telling you not to be obsessed, or telling you not to let your own convictions control you, or tell you as Kira mentioned, just break the engagement.

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4 hours ago, gurupyara96 said:

I started talking to that girl every day...

That was your first mistake. Familiarity breeds contempt, as the saying goes. If she grates on you at this stage of proceedings, a lifetime together seems unlikely.

4 hours ago, gurupyara96 said:

 ...but now i dont like her behaviour.

Elaborate if possible.

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Guest Balpreet

Bhai ji plz note that every one will take his her own meanings about a gurbani tuk.

same single gurbani shabad has power to make a person brahmgyani( acc to his shardha) whereas same shabad may feel nothing to another person.

so i would like u to do ardass again and ask guru sahib ji that please make my understand ur order, although u gave me a hukamnama before but i am still confused so please help me.

 

guru sahib will let u understand, i m sure

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Guest

You're luck Guru sahib has talked to you so directly and in clear words ! 

If I were you, I would break engagement with that girl. 

Guru Sahib is clearly saying "Go other direction, Go other direction, from that faithless cynic, go other direction".

I personally also am a hukamnama guy like you lol. I take hukams on pretty much every thing of my life.

Since you have so much sharda in Guru sahib , and guru sahib has spoken so clearly to you, put faith in guru ji and break off from her.

I know it might be tough for you , but some other girl is waiting for you :) never lose hope. 

Best of luck ji 

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Guest women or girl

The problem is you and also the other ppl who advise you to break the rishta.

Firstly you refer to the woman who is going to be your partner for life as a girl. Shes a woman,  big difference, treat her like a woman. Have respect for her.

Then you dont like her behaviour? By talking on the phone no one can comunicate well. humans communicate by body language and other non verbal expressions so often by phone is not a good idea , especially everyday.

Ppl saying break it off are also not really justifying why. You do not need to break it, however u need to kamaa the bachan ur guru gives you.

The english translation is not enough and you break the rishta. You also need to give alot more info as to why you no longer wish. But dont use gurbani to justify breaking it.

The issue is , you can marry any different woman and you will face issues, maybe more or wrse. You can not find perfection , instead we must accept each others short comings and work to perfection. If we search for the right one we can never find we are all incomplete in that sense. The issues you see are a reflection of yourself, so it is yourself that needs to change or be better and perhaps not as much her.

 

Please give this some thought. 

Before any decision speak with your family. 

Maybe less phone chatting. But your family can arrange some mutual meeting so you can be face to face. Also do not judge her or seek out her imperfections. Obviously we look for compatibility and rehni behni etc which is different to "i do not like" etc

Good luck

 

 

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ke fateh

Thanks every one for your help. I decided to take hukamnama again.

And this is what guru sahib said.

What you guys think Maharan is telling me again?

Check the Shabad picture

Screenshot_2017-02-06-20-04-19-1.png

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On 05/02/2017 at 0:38 PM, Kira said:

ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
Dhaevagandhhaaree Mehalaa 5 ||
देवगंधारी महला ५ ॥
Dayv-Gandhaaree, Fifth Mehl:
23874 ਪੰ. ੧੫ 


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ਉਲਟੀ ਰੇ ਮਨ ਉਲਟੀ ਰੇ ॥
Oulattee Rae Man Oulattee Rae ||
उलटी रे मन उलटी रे ॥
Turn away, O my mind, turn away.
23875 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੬ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਸਾਕਤ ਸਿਉ ਕਰਿ ਉਲਟੀ ਰੇ ॥
Saakath Sio Kar Oulattee Rae ||
साकत सिउ करि उलटी रे ॥
Turn away from the faithless cynic.
23876 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੬ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਝੂਠੈ ਕੀ ਰੇ ਝੂਠੁ ਪਰੀਤਿ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਰੇ ਮਨ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਰੇ ਸਾਕਤ ਸੰਗਿ ਨ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਰੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Jhoothai Kee Rae Jhooth Pareeth Shhuttakee Rae Man Shhuttakee Rae Saakath Sang N Shhuttakee Rae ||1|| Rehaao ||
झूठै की रे झूठु परीति छुटकी रे मन छुटकी रे साकत संगि न छुटकी रे ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
False is the love of the false one; break the ties, O my mind, and your ties shall be broken. Break your ties with the faithless cynic. ||1||Pause||
23877 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੬ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਜਿਉ ਕਾਜਰ ਭਰਿ ਮੰਦਰੁ ਰਾਖਿਓ ਜੋ ਪੈਸੈ ਕਾਲੂਖੀ ਰੇ ॥
Jio Kaajar Bhar Mandhar Raakhiou Jo Paisai Kaalookhee Rae ||
जिउ काजर भरि मंदरु राखिओ जो पैसै कालूखी रे ॥
One who enters a house filled with soot is blackened.
23878 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੭ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਦੂਰਹੁ ਹੀ ਤੇ ਭਾਗਿ ਗਇਓ ਹੈ ਜਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਮਿਲਿ ਛੁਟਕੀ ਤ੍ਰਿਕੁਟੀ ਰੇ ॥੧॥
Dhoorahu Hee Thae Bhaag Gaeiou Hai Jis Gur Mil Shhuttakee Thrikuttee Rae ||1||
दूरहु ही ते भागि गइओ है जिसु गुर मिलि छुटकी त्रिकुटी रे ॥१॥
Run far away from such people! One who meets the Guru escapes from the bondage of the three dispositions. ||1||
23879 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੭ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev


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ਮਾਗਉ ਦਾਨੁ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾਲ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾ ਨਿਧਿ ਮੇਰਾ ਮੁਖੁ ਸਾਕਤ ਸੰਗਿ ਨ ਜੁਟਸੀ ਰੇ ॥
Maago Dhaan Kirapaal Kirapaa Nidhh Maeraa Mukh Saakath Sang N Juttasee Rae ||
मागउ दानु क्रिपाल क्रिपा निधि मेरा मुखु साकत संगि न जुटसी रे ॥
I beg this blessing of You, O Merciful Lord, ocean of mercy - please, don't bring me face to face with the faithless cyincs.
23880 ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੫੩੫ ਪੰ. ੧੮ 
Raag Dev Gandhaaree Guru Arjan Dev

 

Definite sign you should break this engagement. If you want a more in-depth analysis I can try but this is the most simplistic translation. Explain to your parents about your concerns, in the end its your life and it seems (from my small perceptive) the HUkam is telling you to run for the hills on this one. Just be careful about it all, people will get offended big time over all this so make sure you choose your words carefully and honestly.

So i decided to take another hukamnama .

Just because it was hard for me to make any decision.

What do u think Maharaj is saying now 

 

Screenshot_2017-02-06-20-04-19-1.png

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Guest Jacfsing2
21 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Keep taking hukamnamas until you get one that you like the sound of? 

Guru Sahib doesn't change his answer; @gurupyara96, either you follow the Hukam or not, it may be a tough choice, but you know what your suppose to do, since Guru Sahib was extremely direct. 

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