should i leave amrit?

[Guest singh]

Well, I'm 15 and an Amritdhari since I was 10.  Since two years a beard started growing on my face and I didn't bother much about it, until now. Teachers tell me that I need to shave, while my peers stay away from me cuz "i look like a terrorist" lol. At first I didn't think it much but continuous pressure by pretty much everyone has made me feel quite depressed. I thought it would be great to tie it, but my parents don't want it cuz they say this is papey-tarkhana da kam lol. my father is an ex amritdhari mona and my mother also removes her facial hair. to be honest, my father had warned me not to take amrit cuz he said there will be a time when i would want to cut kes, eat meat etc. it was difficult to find some money to buy some hair gel as my father doesn't give me any pocket money and when i ask for some he either swears or says he doesn't have anything. truth is that much of his income goes to extra-school activities like taekwondo, football, 4-5 tuitions which cost almost 600 euros. all that just because he wants me to "become something" by simply cutting me off from society. i don't own a phone while pretty much everybody does and even the pc i'm using now is a gift from a friend of my father. he somehow expects me to be the best kid in school and become a doctor, while most of the time i'm exiled either to football, taekwondo or any freaking tuition. when i complain he starts beating he hell out of me.

all that has made me think that it would be better to leave amrit. panj pyare had told  that when taking amrit my caste was eradicated. but everytime i go to gurudwara i see amritdharis asking my caste. i also see amritdharis hating each other while we were supposed to be a family.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

It's quite sad that you want to leave Amrit, I will try explaining why it's not the best choice from my view, in the most loving way I can. Addressing your problems of social isolation from both Amritdhari Gursikhs, school peers, and family, it definitely isn't easy with everything you are going through, but that can make you stronger than before. Also if you follow what you believe with a pure heart, it can separate the casual relationships, (peers), from the actual relationships, (meaningful friends). About your dad beating you, that's your call on whether you want the authorities involved if it's that serious.

About the caste issue, for the most part it's not even a meaningful thing, and doesn't affect Amrit much, but just say Gursikhs don't believe in caste.

[harsharan000]

 

Brother Guest Singh Jee,

you must bear in mind, one became an amritdhari not because of our intercations with the world, whosoever they maybe, but because of our desire to become one with Wahiguru Akal Purukh when leaving this alien land of Maya.

And to become one with Him, we became amritdharis, in order to constantly remind ourselves, for that we have to tread the path of love and devotion for His Lotus Feet, at the same time remain in His bhaana, have an attitude of humility and compassion for mankind in general.

Our problem is that we limit ourselves within our own created boundaries, when the truth is, Wahiguru is present everywhere and in everyone; He is present even in those who do not believe in Him, or say that, they belong to a different religion than ours.

What others say or believe, is their look out, a consequence of them limiting themselves with manmukhta.

There is only one God, Wahiguru Akal Purukh.

Each and everyone is as per his/her own marked out destiny.

Who is then to be blamed? 

He is the only director, rest are all puppets.

The Bani says: to some He brings close to Himself, while to others, He keeps them away.

So brother if He chooses by His will to keep some away, in which way are they to be blamed for not being fortunate enough like us, in believing and having faith in Him...naturally no one can go against His hukum, they still have to wander in the wheel of 84, until He Himself decides to finish this play and call back all the remaining jeevas.

So you see, you just keep an eye on yourself that you do not get derailed from sikhee, that is important, what so ever others do, that is their problem, they will undoubtedly have to account for their actions.

I would recomend you to go throughly the Bani, not like a parrot in a haste, but sipping each Amrit boond contained in it.

This will bring you closer and closer to Him, then your mind will stop troubling you, and you shall remain steadfastly focused at His Lotus Feet.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

[Guest Gupt]

Try and keep your kes I know it's hard, I went through that period as well, but trust me down the line, you won't care about your freinds or your teachers, but if you choose to be sikh you will be proud of your decision. (Try to get some more positive sangat if possible it will also help)

 

[TaksalDaSingh9771]

+1

[JS79]

At this point you may think all these things are more important like good looks and socialising. When you look back you may decide you made the right choice to take Amrit. Its not easy all the time and hair can be a huge issue if you decide to make it into an issue. Who cares what people think? You are bigger than that right. Who are your brothers? Baba Ajeet Singh Baba Jujhar Singh. Do you not want to make them proud they gave their lives for us to be here. The people you see daily you will not even see in about 5 years time. I can relate. At school i wanted to dress like my gore friends. It is minor but the concept is the same. I wanted to be cool and seemed to be so but I now realise I never should have cared! The people you may want to impress are not always going to be there. Guru Gobind Singh Ji are though. The decision is yours but Maharaj will always be here looking at you saying 'come here putt Ive got your back I forgive you'. Looks possessions friend circles are all maya. They will disappear in a flash like smoke. The only thing guaranteed is Maharaj and only Maharaj will make you content. I understand you are young and I totally get why you are struggling but try and take my advise, hang in there, I promise it will get better. You are lucky to have this life. Careers will come and go it is Maharajs game. Waheguru. All the best ji.

[Guest Cloud]

Do what makes YOU happy and satisfied because that's what matters at the end of the day and it's important for your mental health.

[Guest Sarabjeet Singh]

The more you think about it the more you should choose to stay on the path of Sikhi. Don’t cut you’re kesh. It’s the hardest thing to not do.

[Jacfsing2]

IDK what decision OP went with, but most ex-Amritdharis tend to be extremely cynical and many mostly lose the faith so far that it's a surprise that at one point they were Amritdhari. You don't just leave Amrit when you choose you leave Amrit, but you lose Sikhi itself, (and the spirit of Sikhi). 

[Singh1989]

Aww kid, sorry you're going through all this. 

TBH if you leave Amrit you may be able to retake when older by going Pesh?? Currently, it sounds like you're dad's doing A LOT for you in the material world and it sounds like he's trying his best for you. 

By leaving Amrit (inc. shaving) you will fit in society, no one will look at you funny. By maintaining it your Spiritual awareness will be strong. 

I can't imagine wha you going through. In my hometown no teacher ever said to me "you need to shave" at 15. All religions here are respected (and this pre 2010 partly thanks to Multicultural values). 

Right now at 15 you need to make a choice, leave Amrit or fight on? Get pen and paper then write down Pros and Cons (advantage, disadvantage) of Amrit in YOUR current life. Go through paper and feel what your next step should be. ONLY YOU will be in charge of decisions thereafter. And keep the future in mind; what will life be like in five years time? What about university or job? 

But seriously, the pressures of society seems like you're inclined to leave Amrit. No easy way to say this but what is true is true. 

Whatever choice you make look after yourself and your dad.