Has someone’s bad luck gone on to me?

[Guest Worriednow]

Fateh

I have a cousin who seriously believes there is a family problem where the spirit of a deceased relative is creating problems for everyone. She’s had arguments in her marriage amongst other things and now refuses to see family members as she believes they encourage the bad spirit and keeping away keeps her in a better place.

Apparently her and her husband both hear things in their house.

I don’t exactly believe that but I’ve recently had a disagreement with her, really she just couldn’t accept I wasn’t on the same page with her views and judging by her messages they both got annoyed and immature in the messages they sent me. I told them there’s nothing wrong in my life etc so not possible to believe what she is saying- I shouldn’t have said that.

Since then my spouse and I keep arguing, it’s like nothing happens and then suddenly blows up and can even become violent. It’s not like us and I can’t help have they cursed me or has their bad luck jumped on me? If so what can I do? Any particular path?  

Thanks

 

[Guest Worriednow]

It’s now worse. 

Another arguement which resulted in him throwing multiple electrical items at me, a glass and breaking some of my stuff.

He’s now left, I also agreed he should get out and go. We have two young infants and this is not like us or not does this happen often. It’s out of character

 

Can anyone shed any light into my first post?

[Guest Bal]

Sukhmani Sahib is the way to go

[jkvlondon]

10 hours ago, Guest Worriednow said:

It’s now worse. 

Another arguement which resulted in him throwing multiple electrical items at me, a glass and breaking some of my stuff.

He’s now left, I also agreed he should get out and go. We have two young infants and this is not like us or not does this happen often. It’s out of character

 

Can anyone shed any light into my first post?

look we only get  , what we sow  , arguing was down to the two of you ....I would concentrate on that rather than try to blame a third party . Unless you happen to be arguing about said person/s  then that is simply you allowing another's views colour/influence yours .  Your husband is totally out of order throwing missiles at you , but you need to think on how you behaved yourself how much was just trying to win the argument for your ego's sake , did you swear , did you goad him into a fight ? it all matters . I would suggest also have sukhmani sahib running in your home to bring calm to the atmosphere and protection of bani , if you are nitnemi make sure you stick to it  and stay away from others' domestic politics , they have to deal with it themselves . Think about creating a safe and calm home for your children . Waheguru Kirpa karen your husband will realise his mistakes and make amends.

Never boast of your own happiness to someone who is suffering , just like if you are richer you never show off in front of another who is struggling it invites jealousy and trouble . Be understanding and supportive if you can , if  not, don't say anything . It may be true they have troubles in their home because our homes are older and it may be a spirit not necessarily related ...if they are that worried they can start doing their paat daily too and take Guru ji sharan

[MisterrSingh]

Some people are just rabid; no decorum or sense of propriety. Sometimes us superstitiously-inclined ethnic groups are drawn towards rationalising our problems by viewing them through the lens of the occult, whereas the reality is most likely a commonplace, humdrum reason that we've overlooked in a hysterical rush to arrive at a solution.

[Guest Worriesnow]

Bal - thanks

jkv - slightly patronising but generally what I needed to hear

mister - This forum has changed. Someones genuinely worried and panicking due to their husband going off on one and people are rude in their tone of response.... but you have others on here talking openly about how they are gay and marrying a woman for their own gain of not telling their family but ruining her poor life and people act like that’s okay giving advice to support the marriage. 

Use to be a forum with real Sikhs supporting in a nice manner, providing Gurmukhi if required to support answers. Now it’s useless and I won’t be asking for advice here, think mumsnet is better! 

 

[jkvlondon]

On 9/11/2018 at 9:59 AM, Guest Worriesnow said:

Bal - thanks

jkv - slightly patronising but generally what I needed to hear

mister - This forum has changed. Someones genuinely worried and panicking due to their husband going off on one and people are rude in their tone of response.... but you have others on here talking openly about how they are gay and marrying a woman for their own gain of not telling their family but ruining her poor life and people act like that’s okay giving advice to support the marriage. 

Use to be a forum with real Sikhs supporting in a nice manner, providing Gurmukhi if required to support answers. Now it’s useless and I won’t be asking for advice here, think mumsnet is better! 

 

look I am probably a lot older than you and have had 22 years plus of dealing with politics in the two extended families . When there's something going wrong in the house it is dangerous/unwise to try and explain it away by giving the blame to something outside , especially given the extent it reached .

Your cousin's problem is secondary really and can wait .( kind of a distraction)

The reap-sow thing is the gurmat message  not me sorry if you think it's patronising . but really don't fill your head with other stuff keep it clear to deal with stuff in front you . Don't take any ish from your husband , if he is violent once he will be again , call the police . If he was drinking , try to get his folks/friends to help him stay away from it , it wont help anything.

Stay safe , and ask Guru ji for help.

 

[Guest Sat]

On 8 September 2018 at 12:34 AM, Guest Worriednow said:

Fateh

I have a cousin who seriously believes there is a family problem where the spirit of a deceased relative is creating problems for everyone. She’s had arguments in her marriage amongst other things and now refuses to see family members as she believes they encourage the bad spirit and keeping away keeps her in a better place.

Apparently her and her husband both hear things in their house.

I don’t exactly believe that but I’ve recently had a disagreement with her, really she just couldn’t accept I wasn’t on the same page with her views and judging by her messages they both got annoyed and immature in the messages they sent me. I told them there’s nothing wrong in my life etc so not possible to believe what she is saying- I shouldn’t have said that.

Since then my spouse and I keep arguing, it’s like nothing happens and then suddenly blows up and can even become violent. It’s not like us and I can’t help have they cursed me or has their bad luck jumped on me? If so what can I do? Any particular path?  

Thanks

 

There's no such thing as bad luck or luck in general. There's only karma.

Whats happening is your own Maya at play. You can't blame ghosts for your own actions. Take responsibility, change your attitude and move forward. A ghost us a reflection of your own state...you see what you want to see. If you see a ghost, recognise it as God teaching you. 

 

Focus on your own life, be responsible for your own life. 

 

 

[Guest Sat]

On 11 September 2018 at 12:59 PM, Guest Worriesnow said:

Bal - thanks

jkv - slightly patronising but generally what I needed to hear

mister - This forum has changed. Someones genuinely worried and panicking due to their husband going off on one and people are rude in their tone of response.... but you have others on here talking openly about how they are gay and marrying a woman for their own gain of not telling their family but ruining her poor life and people act like that’s okay giving advice to support the marriage. 

Use to be a forum with real Sikhs supporting in a nice manner, providing Gurmukhi if required to support answers. Now it’s useless and I won’t be asking for advice here, think mumsnet is better! 

 

I just read this. My last response was to the bad luck element in your first post. I assumed the violence went both ways, didn't realise he was hurting you and it's one way.

 

Good u kicked your husband out, it's the sensible and practical thing to do, and the best thing also for your children so well done.

 

Stay strong and if possible, get family support. If you don't have family support, there are organisations that can help. If in the UK, call the Sikh helpline for advice- Not sure what country you're in. Make sure your financial situation is okay and don't give in to him. Once domestic abusers start, it's highly likely that they'll strike again. Make him realise that you have support...suffering in silence may cause him to see u as vulnerable and come back and repeat his actions. 

 

Etay strong, God bless you

[Guest Sat]

On 9 September 2018 at 12:25 PM, jkvlondon said:

look we only get  , what we sow  , arguing was down to the two of you ....I would concentrate on that rather than try to blame a third party . Unless you happen to be arguing about said person/s  then that is simply you allowing another's views colour/influence yours .  Your husband is totally out of order throwing missiles at you , but you need to think on how you behaved yourself how much was just trying to win the argument for your ego's sake , did you swear , did you goad him into a fight ? it all matters . I would suggest also have sukhmani sahib running in your home to bring calm to the atmosphere and protection of bani , if you are nitnemi make sure you stick to it  and stay away from others' domestic politics , they have to deal with it themselves . Think about creating a safe and calm home for your children . Waheguru Kirpa karen your husband will realise his mistakes and make amends.

Never boast of your own happiness to someone who is suffering , just like if you are richer you never show off in front of another who is struggling it invites jealousy and trouble . Be understanding and supportive if you can , if  not, don't say anything . It may be true they have troubles in their home because our homes are older and it may be a spirit not necessarily related ...if they are that worried they can start doing their paat daily too and take Guru ji sharan

No one deserves that kind of physical abuse, no matter what was said. 

 

To the OP, don't ever think that him physical abusing you is your fault. Get support ok. 

 

God bless