I am not a Sikh, because i refuse to stay with my “husband” ?

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

I got married a while ago. Since that i have been struggling a lot. 

Is it really true that if you divorce, you are not a sikh? 

I have to say i made a big mistake before the marriage. I cant lie and stay with him. I have a deep depression, cry always, sometimes i struggle to breath, many times I had to go to the hospital. 

If I had to stay with him, i would be really sad and not happy. And I wouldnt be able to give him what he needs. 

 

What do you think?

What does Guru say? 

 

[Guest Anonymous]

I would say if Things doesnt sort out with mere talking, The Best Option is to Stand up and do something about it.

As they SAY " JE JURAM KARNA PAAP hai , TA JURAM SEHNA USTO V VADDA PAAP HAI "

SO i would say fight for yourself, Nowhere is it written in gurbani that a Husband have Freedom to Oppress his wife in any way.......

FIGHT, FOR A BETTER LIFE. AND SET AN EXAMPLE.

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

answers please!

[jkvlondon]

On 10/2/2018 at 8:23 PM, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

I got married a while ago. Since that i have been struggling a lot. 

Is it really true that if you divorce, you are not a sikh? 

I have to say i made a big mistake before the marriage. I cant lie and stay with him. I have a deep depression, cry always, sometimes i struggle to breath, many times I had to go to the hospital. 

If I had to stay with him, i would be really sad and not happy. And I wouldnt be able to give him what he needs. 

 

What do you think?

What does Guru say? 

 

1. divorce doesn't affect your sikh status however your 'big mistake' may have

2. you are now married to who you are meant to be with , forget about any previous BF and try to honour your relationship to Guru ji by being the best support team for your husband and learn to accept the truth . If you need someone to talk to try sikh helpline , get some counselling. Panic attacks are usually because of high anxiety , keeping secrets from your life partner will eat you up inside , try to tell him

3. you cannot say what you will or will not be able to do in the future from a position of suppression... work on getting to the truth , becoming the best sikh you can be , trust in Guru ji and it will resolve as it should .

 

[Guest Guest]

Sister....divorcing someone if you are unhappy with them qnd they do not takw care of or love you is not a crime...you marries him with good intentions, however if he is in the wrong and not trying to look after you and you feel happier if you will leave him..do what will make you feel better.

If you are worried what people will say...remember those that love you will support your decision and understand your reasons, those that criticize are there for drama

God knows whats happening with you and divorcing does not make you a non sikh

 

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

1 hour ago, jkvlondon said:

1. divorce doesn't affect your sikh status however your 'big mistake' may have

2. you are now married to who you are meant to be with , forget about any previous BF and try to honour your relationship to Guru ji by being the best support team for your husband and learn to accept the truth . If you need someone to talk to try sikh helpline , get some counselling. Panic attacks are usually because of high anxiety , keeping secrets from your life partner will eat you up inside , try to tell him

3. you cannot say what you will or will not be able to do in the future from a position of suppression... work on getting to the truth , becoming the best sikh you can be , trust in Guru ji and it will resolve as it should .

 

But not every situation in life stays forever right? 

My cousin got married and he is mental, his wife left him again. So that doesnt mean that you have to stay with someone, who you are not happy with? or am i wrong? 

I dont know but i made a very heavy mistake, which i am ashamed of, it would be a sin to stay with him and not to tell him.

And i heard on youtube babaji saying that if you divorce you are not a sikh, is that right? 

[GuestKaur2]

6 hours ago, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

But not every situation in life stays forever right? 

My cousin got married and he is mental, his wife left him again. So that doesnt mean that you have to stay with someone, who you are not happy with? or am i wrong? 

I dont know but i made a very heavy mistake, which i am ashamed of, it would be a sin to stay with him and not to tell him.

And i heard on youtube babaji saying that if you divorce you are not a sikh, is that right? 

If you feel like you can't stay with your husband because of something you have done then its not your husbands fault. Just be straight up with him and tell him what you've done.

[Guest Anonymous]

6 hours ago, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

But not every situation in life stays forever right? 

My cousin got married and he is mental, his wife left him again. So that doesnt mean that you have to stay with someone, who you are not happy with? or am i wrong? 

I dont know but i made a very heavy mistake, which i am ashamed of, it would be a sin to stay with him and not to tell him.

And i heard on youtube babaji saying that if you divorce you are not a sikh, is that right? 

Lol, That babaji is a "PANDIT" then XD, wearing a Sikh's Uniform. BEWARE

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

6 hours ago, GuestKaur2 said:

If you feel like you can't stay with your husband because of something you have done then its not your husbands fault. Just be straight up with him and tell him what you've done.

Will that make it any better? It will only destroy the family. I am suffering a lot every day. I have panic attacks, where i am not able to breath and someone has to calm me down. 

What should I do? 

[jkvlondon]

16 hours ago, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

But not every situation in life stays forever right? 

My cousin got married and he is mental, his wife left him again. So that doesnt mean that you have to stay with someone, who you are not happy with? or am i wrong? 

I dont know but i made a very heavy mistake, which i am ashamed of, it would be a sin to stay with him and not to tell him.

And i heard on youtube babaji saying that if you divorce you are not a sikh, is that right? 

sikhi does not have a concept of divorce that's true ...logically how do you take back a promise to the Almighty?

However sikhi also recognises that a life to be shared together needs two people working together in mutual support . There is no space for abandonment of sikhi there , so the only way is try to bring the errant one back to their senses through patience, love and understanding if that doesn't work then you have to make a JOINT decision how to handle things .

Instead of talking about your cousin how about you stick to your story ... what did you do that you would break another innocent  person's heart and mind over ?  If  as I suspect you had an affair with someone , it's over and you need to make it over in your heart and mind , do not abuse the trust of your husband and his family . Show your loyalty and ability to keep your word. The grass is not always greener , and mistakes remain mistakes do not try to change the past , as Guru ji tells us jo bitta so bitta  and to never do ANYTHING for which you have to show regret after .

You called the past event a mistake ...surely that tells you that it is not a good thing to go and revisit ... get your courage to face up to what you did and own your mistakes that's the only way to get free - not divorce