Will I go to Hell for what I did? Is there any way out of it?

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

I got married to an sikh man. But I did a very heavy mistake. Before the marriage i was in a relationship or how you would call it with my cousin. I am really ashamed of it. I also dont know what was happening to me by then. Babaji told us that someone was doing black magic on the whole family. I am so stuck to him. My family planned my marriage a couple months later, but they didnt knew anything. Now i am married but not happy. Also I betrayed him, I was having the affair also after the marriage. I am feeling really ashamed but i cant live without my cousin. 

And i also cant live happily along with my “husband”, because i betrayed him. Also i cant tell him, it would destroy the family.

Please tell me brothers and sisters, will i go to hell for that? And what can i do now? It would be a Paap tu live with him like nothing happened. 

Please help me. 

I am close to die.

 

 

 

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

answers please. thank you. 

[harsharan000 3,824]

Pen Jee,

this is how our kaam vasnaas (panj chor) make us dance to their tunes. 

First they make us prey of their amoral  force, then they make us feel guilty, they never  let us live in peace, and make a hell of our lives. 

Of course, what you did is not correct, but keep in mind Wahiguru is more important than anything. If you married accordingly to sikhee, remember you made vows before Him to be faithful to your husband.

So, it does not matter much what you did in your past as long as you abide with morality  in your present life.

Remember also, bodies are just pieces of flesh, they will be left behind one day, and when you will have to account for your actions, neither your husband nor will your cousin will be there, you alone will have to account for your actions, so why blacken our faces.

It is a sin, to be unfaithful. 

So refrain from it, and remove all these things from the root of your mind howsoever difficult it may be, but the thing is, to live with dignity and self respect without any remorses.

In the beginning it may cost you to get out, but with your sincere efforts, He will surely shower grace on you, to make you peaceful, here and here after.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

 

 

[puzzled 3,812]

Only waheguru decides that. But what your doing is very wrong. Your sleeping with your cousin brother while your married to another man.

[jkvlondon 5,628]

14 hours ago, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

I got married to an sikh man. But I did a very heavy mistake. Before the marriage i was in a relationship or how you would call it with my cousin. I am really ashamed of it. I also dont know what was happening to me by then. Babaji told us that someone was doing black magic on the whole family. I am so stuck to him. My family planned my marriage a couple months later, but they didnt knew anything. Now i am married but not happy. Also I betrayed him, I was having the affair also after the marriage. I am feeling really ashamed but i cant live without my cousin. 

And i also cant live happily along with my “husband”, because i betrayed him. Also i cant tell him, it would destroy the family.

Please tell me brothers and sisters, will i go to hell for that? And what can i do now? It would be a Paap tu live with him like nothing happened. 

Please help me. 

I am close to die.

 

 

 

you have to tell your cousin to F off  and you have to tell your Mum and Dad so they will remove him from the situation and you will get help from them to resuss your marriage which according to your hubby has nothing wrong with it (may be a blessing in disguise) .

Sikhs live with truth , it is their life blood , you need to man up honestly, it will be hard and you will fall in your folks eyes but better that than carrying on  with your BROTHER  , punjabi doesn't have the word cousin try to think on that point ...

your cousin is scum also to persist.

You can and will live happily with your husband because you will NEVER be able to marry or live with your cousin.

Forget about some BABA most of them are full of HOT AIR and are looking to angle for money for paats etc.

your actions are the CAUSE of the EFFECT you are feeling,  don't blame your husband or ANY OTHER people . OWN YOUR PROBLEMS TO SOLVE THEM .

 

Is your husband or you amritdhari ...because that is also another level of stuff to deal with?

[RajKaregaKhalsa1 371]

13 hours ago, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

will i go to hell for that?

Remember that we don't know (unless one is Jeevan mukat) where we will go. The best thing to do know is go to Guru and ask for forgiveness. Do some Simran, read some Bani etc. and remember that we are children on Waheguru ji and that we may get scolded for the bad actions we have committed but we can be forgiven. He is the best father one can ever ask for and you are blessed to have a Guru like Guru Nanak who is so forgiving who even made murderers like Sajjan Thug into Saints. Think about that Sajjan Thug. He killed so many people but Guru ji in an instant changed him into a Saint. Wow!

 

Watch some Katha or do something. Maybe tell your cousin that the relationship you have with him is over and that it should never be brought up again and now it will be more of a brother sister one. 

13 hours ago, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

And i also cant live happily along with my “husband”, because i betrayed him.

Although this may have happened does it matter. How about you just spend time with your Husband and remember why you actually wanted to be with him in the first place. He's probably an awesome guy anyways. You may not want to tell him about previous affairs and that's fine but try to make him a happy man and forget everything that happened in the past.

Have a think about your situation and say to yourself that I am going to change now and make my life a better one. Stay faithful in Akaal Purakh Waheguru

Everyone wishes you the best of luck

Have a nice day

ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖਾਲਸਾ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫਤਿਹ

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

10 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

you have to tell your cousin to F off  and you have to tell your Mum and Dad so they will remove him from the situation and you will get help from them to resuss your marriage which according to your hubby has nothing wrong with it (may be a blessing in disguise) .

Sikhs live with truth , it is their life blood , you need to man up honestly, it will be hard and you will fall in your folks eyes but better that than carrying on  with your BROTHER  , punjabi doesn't have the word cousin try to think on that point ...

your cousin is scum also to persist.

You can and will live happily with your husband because you will NEVER be able to marry or live with your cousin.

Forget about some BABA most of them are full of HOT AIR and are looking to angle for money for paats etc.

your actions are the CAUSE of the EFFECT you are feeling,  don't blame your husband or ANY OTHER people . OWN YOUR PROBLEMS TO SOLVE THEM .

 

Is your husband or you amritdhari ...because that is also another level of stuff to deal with?

he is amritdhari but i am not. i dont know whst to do.

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

12 minutes ago, RajKaregaKhalsa1 said:

Remember that we don't know (unless one is Jeevan mukat) where we will go. The best thing to do know is go to Guru and ask for forgiveness. Do some Simran, read some Bani etc. and remember that we are children on Waheguru ji and that we may get scolded for the bad actions we have committed but we can be forgiven. He is the best father one can ever ask for and you are blessed to have a Guru like Guru Nanak who is so forgiving who even made murderers like Sajjan Thug into Saints. Think about that Sajjan Thug. He killed so many people but Guru ji in an instant changed him into a Saint. Wow!

 

Watch some Katha or do something. Maybe tell your cousin that the relationship you have with him is over and that it should never be brought up again and now it will be more of a brother sister one. 

Although this may have happened does it matter. How about you just spend time with your Husband and remember why you actually wanted to be with him in the first place. He's probably an awesome guy anyways. You may not want to tell him about previous affairs and that's fine but try to make him a happy man and forget everything that happened in the past.

Have a think about your situation and say to yourself that I am going to change now and make my life a better one.

Everyone wishes you the best of luck

Have a nice day

ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖਾਲਸਾ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫਤਿਹ

The thing is that it was not my choice to marry him. My parents decided it, i was just okay with it and pressured by the situation. 

 

I will thank you brothers and sisters.

[RajKaregaKhalsa1 371]

2 hours ago, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

The thing is that it was not my choice to marry him.

Make your relationship now as if he was the one you wanted to marry. Think of him as being someone Waheguru ji wanted you to be with. It doesn't matter who was involved with the marriage sister. All that matters is, is that you love him and treat him like the one/a person who you were looking for. Once you start treating him like this you will actually want to be with him

[RajKaregaKhalsa1 371]

16 hours ago, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

Paap tu live with him like nothing happened.

No because Guru says that when your sins have been forgiven, he forgets (well doesn't think about them at least) them and doesn't take them into account.

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

49 minutes ago, RajKaregaKhalsa1 said:

No because Guru says that when your sins have been forgiven, he forgets (well doesn't think about them at least) them and doesn't take them into account.

How can i know that god forgave me? 

And what if I am not able to love him because of my bad feeling? What if i cant make love with him? 

I am really sad.

[puzzled 3,812]

You need to admit to your husband what your doing. It's not fair on him, he deserves to know, stop lying to him and tell him the truth. He probably is a good man.  Stop hiding stuff from him. 

Your just using the black magic bs to cover your own wrong doings. It's not the black magic which made you sh@g your cousin it's you who wanted to sh@g him so you did it. Stop making excuses up and own up to what your doing 

[jkvlondon 5,628]

4 hours ago, Guest KaurWaheguru said:

he is amritdhari but i am not. i dont know whst to do.

I told you the best way , be truthful to your folks and let them know you don't want to lose your husband now please can they help you . Because they don't want your marriage to fail or their own honour tarnished  they will help get your cousin away and there is no way he can blackmail you later as you can tell him 'my family knows ' .

You just have to swallow your pride and accept your blame . Sometimes life hands you a challenge ; this is yours, become a better human and sikh, rededicate your life to sikhi and your Waheguru given husband . Remember if you are married to a certain person it is due to your past karams i.e. he is meant for you.  Possibly ask your husband to share sikhi with you, you learn and grow in sikhi together and both of you have amrit as a couple  but only after you've sorted out all the mess .

I would wish you luck but it is not a matter of luck , it is a matter of facing life head on . Stay in chardikala and let us know how things go.

 

[Guest KaurWaheguru]

15 minutes ago, puzzled said:

You need to admit to your husband what your doing. It's not fair on him, he deserves to know, stop lying to him and tell him the truth. He probably is a good man.  Stop hiding stuff from him. 

Your just using the black magic bs to cover your own wrong doings. It's not the black magic which made you sh@g your cousin it's you who wanted to sh@g him so you did it. Stop making excuses up and own up to what your doing 

You are right. I dont know but i just believed what they said. Babaji told us that someone did black magic. 

I hate myself every day. And i cant tell him, the family will split and maybe someone will do suicide. 

Is it a sin if i stay with my “husband” but dont make love with him and dont ger children?

Thats the only way i can stay with him. I dont know anything else to do.

[Guest Rosie]

First of all sis theres no such thing as black magic only hinduwa's and sullahs and christian kanjars believe in that bs. If your a sikh you should fix up, your cousin is not appropriate partner for you its allowed in abrahamic backward faiths but not sikhi. You need to focus on your husband and family develop that care and love for him its not fair or him or your souls salvation by letting kaam control your body and mind. Remove any contact with cousin bro and any bad influences it will be hard but worth it in long run and you will be forgiven by Guru ji. Theres no sin that won't be forgiven by Waheguru if your sincere and change your ways on to the sikh path. Guru nanak ji even took repentance from murderous cannibals who wanted to change and be forgiven so your sin is minor in comparison