Help - full of kaam

[Guest Paapi Insaan]

Fateh sangat ji,

I am in a dilemma with myself and my Sikhi.

I would like to ask a few questions from knowledgeable people on there, both Gursikhs and non, and also get some advice.

Please don't just slander me as I don't need that right now. 

I took amrit aged 15 but then went down the wrong path at 18 when I moved out for uni, but secretly. I started drinking (usually on my own at home), occasionally smoking a cigarette when in the pub low key and I also dabbled in some weed and coke here and there. 

I did not become an addict or alcoholic by any means.  

I have always had a major problem with kaam.

I got together with my best friend but this was an on off relationship and a distance one due to areas. Mostly based on phone calls, emails etc.

I never told her about what kurehats I had done. She was amritdhari.

During our last off period which was about a year, she had met someone else. 

I called her one day to say I still love her and later down the line she told me that she met someone and their wedding was arranged and date set.

This broke me and I still wanted us to be together as we always spoke about.

Anyway, we met a few times and one thing lead to another. 

This lasted up until her wedding. 

She didn't call off the wedding due to being afraid of her parents etc. 

Now, I was obviously heartbroken and lonely. 

I have always been a horny chap and with the regular physical activity no longer there with her it was difficult for me.

Anyway, I went to pesh and retook amrit but my heart wasn't in it as I could not speak openly to the panj piaare due to time restraints and as one was hell bent on telling me off without me fully explaining all my kurehats. 

I still done the seva they said but just felt I was not forgiven as everything wasn't disclosed. 

Then an old friend of mine got in touch but she was married and not happy. It had only been a year since her marriage. We got close on the phone declared we liked each other in all ways and met. Nothing happend as I knew I retook amrit and she is married.

I resisted so much for a few years and had several "opportunities" with other friends and colleagues which I didn't do. But being full of kaam I couldn't any longer and had an affair with my married friend. 

Now, I have disrespected my Guru and Amrit twice now and cant give up sex with her but I know one day I will have to as she cant leave him.

My conscious gets to me.

Question, will I be forgiven?? I read plenty of bani and do seva. 

I don't plan on taking Amrit yet because I cannot fall a 3rd time and take the piss so will wait a few years and control.my kaam before going in front of the panj piaare.

I need to sort my kaam out. I cant get married to someone I don't love otherwise that would have addressed the issue.

Any advice and thoughts?

Thank you.

[Guest GuestSingh]

youre an absolute joke and complete disgrace. you havent got any real love for Guru ji or sikhi..so why you pretending otherwise? my dogs have more shame and class..

advice? stop identifying and dressing as a sikh because its all fake

no slander? but theres nothing good to say about someone like you...you dont learn the first time and you dont care whose lives you ruin.

and youre not fooling anyone by saying you do seva and read bani you lalloo..its obviously all out of guilt to make yourself feel better..fact is they have no effect on you..nothing...

cant take the piss with amrit? you already did the first time so whats a 3rd or 3000000 time going to matter? each one is meaningless to you.

listen, if youve got any courage, any bit of man in you.. in that weak mind of yours.. you'll do the right thing and tell both husbands about their wives - man or woman no spouse deserves to spend the rest of their lives with cheap, disgusting and shameless trash like your two mates who have no love for Guru ji either.

the 3 of you never gave your heads to Guru pita ji, you all gave it to the 5 thieves...

[namespace]

You're pretty pathetic mate.  Just go full western.  You sound like your average gora.   Join some Christian church or something, they'll accept you there.  I don't want you to take amirit ever again unless you can find Waheguru on your own in the real world without prayer.   The Guru and all bhani will always be there but unless you bear witness to the single endless and birthless God which is absolutely everywhere,  by yourself.  Be a slave to Him, a bride to Him, a doormat to Him.  That's what you are anyway.

As far as your future and marriage goes?  It's ruined already!  You'll think you can bend the rules with some other female and you can enjoy yourself with degenerate things like smoking and drinking.  

[Guest Amit Singh]

18 hours ago, Guest Paapi Insaan said:

Fateh sangat ji,

I am in a dilemma with myself and my Sikhi.

I would like to ask a few questions from knowledgeable people on there, both Gursikhs and non, and also get some advice.

Please don't just slander me as I don't need that right now. 

I took amrit aged 15 but then went down the wrong path at 18 when I moved out for uni, but secretly. I started drinking (usually on my own at home), occasionally smoking a cigarette when in the pub low key and I also dabbled in some weed and coke here and there. 

I did not become an addict or alcoholic by any means.  

I have always had a major problem with kaam.

I got together with my best friend but this was an on off relationship and a distance one due to areas. Mostly based on phone calls, emails etc.

I never told her about what kurehats I had done. She was amritdhari.

During our last off period which was about a year, she had met someone else. 

I called her one day to say I still love her and later down the line she told me that she met someone and their wedding was arranged and date set.

This broke me and I still wanted us to be together as we always spoke about.

Anyway, we met a few times and one thing lead to another. 

This lasted up until her wedding. 

She didn't call off the wedding due to being afraid of her parents etc. 

Now, I was obviously heartbroken and lonely. 

I have always been a horny chap and with the regular physical activity no longer there with her it was difficult for me.

Anyway, I went to pesh and retook amrit but my heart wasn't in it as I could not speak openly to the panj piaare due to time restraints and as one was hell bent on telling me off without me fully explaining all my kurehats. 

I still done the seva they said but just felt I was not forgiven as everything wasn't disclosed. 

Then an old friend of mine got in touch but she was married and not happy. It had only been a year since her marriage. We got close on the phone declared we liked each other in all ways and met. Nothing happend as I knew I retook amrit and she is married.

I resisted so much for a few years and had several "opportunities" with other friends and colleagues which I didn't do. But being full of kaam I couldn't any longer and had an affair with my married friend. 

Now, I have disrespected my Guru and Amrit twice now and cant give up sex with her but I know one day I will have to as she cant leave him.

My conscious gets to me.

Question, will I be forgiven?? I read plenty of bani and do seva. 

I don't plan on taking Amrit yet because I cannot fall a 3rd time and take the piss so will wait a few years and control.my kaam before going in front of the panj piaare.

I need to sort my kaam out. I cant get married to someone I don't love otherwise that would have addressed the issue.

Any advice and thoughts?

Thank you.

Do you have a job/Buisness ? 

If not, i'll advice you to find one. if you do have a job already, get a better where you are more busy and utilizing more of your mind.

This will help you get Busy, it will help you to be able to get over your past and it'll help you move on. 

KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. thats the KEY.

[puzzled]

Nothing surprises me on this forum anymore. Long gone are the days where you could actually look up to a singh and think I want to be like that too, you guys are just like anyone else, only difference is people like you chose to dress all religious but are hypocrites. At least your average Punjabi openly drinks and shags unlike hypocrites like you who hide your sins behind religious dress. What's the point if every time you pull your kachera down you release a tsunami of sexual frustrations.  You guys are just as Fcked up as anyone else but delude everyone with your religious dress 

 I dnt actually understand why people like you then come on here playing the victim card, like what the hell do you expect people on here to do? Put your w!lly back in for you everytime you decide to pull it out? You joke.  Sort your own life out. Keep it in your pants you Wh0re.  Anyway there are like 500 other similar posts on this site, just search them.

 

[puzzled]

They, who think it great cleverness to enjoy another's wife, shall in the end die the death of dogs. (Dasam Granth, p. 842) 

[Guest Help Him]

For all the have responded to the OP, you should all also feel ashamed of yourselves.

He knows his weakness and mentioned his actions and that he needs to sort himself out.

He seems lonely and possibly depressed.

Instead of helping him, putting him on the correct path, you have all kicked him. This is what the majority of us Singh's do to each other, kick them in the head when down!!

OP,  although I don't agree or praise anything you have done, you have atleast realised your falls, asked for help and advice about something that is not easily spoken about especially with the Sikh/Panjabi community and people like the above.

You're taking a step forward to sort your head and mistakes out which is good.

I cant offer you much but keep doing seva, sinran and reading bani.

Get in with good sangat. Sikhi camps, programs, smagams etc.

Do benthi to Maharaaj to assist you.

My ardass is with you.

I hope some decent Gursikh on here will have the heart to offer you more than me but please dont let the above comments put you off the path of Sikhi.

 

[puzzled]

3 hours ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

Bro these guys are reminding of the pharse "beware of the false prophet" as you are right these people use bana and bani to hide their dirty laundry.

 

It looks like people have lost the meaning of doing pesh as its just a ritual following.

 

And they both are amritdharis good god this smacks it to the next level.

 

I have never touched any of the stuff the op has but i still feel bad enough and this guy is 10 20 times worse than i am.

People like him and the dirty wh0res he slept with are hypocrites who use their bana to hide their sins and sexual frustrations. And then they decide to cry on a forum playing the whole victim card. These same people go around preaching others the rights and wrongs.  The scary thing is that the shameless wh0res he slept with are gnna be the Sikh mothers of tomorrow, bet you their genitals smell worse than the local sewers. trash 

[Akalifauj]

You should cut yourself off from any social activities.  Go to work, come home and only do paath and seva.  Don't have any social conversation with a women other than mother, sister or cousins.  Spend weekends doing paath all day.  Eat very little and sleep less.  Eating and sleeping is not for enjoyment.  Both are for keeping the body healthy for doing paath and seva.  Always get up for amritvela.  No watching any show movie or news.  Only watch and listen to Gurbani paath and kirtan.  

[puzzled]

29 minutes ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

You are 100% right its people like these that give amritdharis a bad name and put people from taking amrit after reading these type of posts threads.

Its disappointing tbh. No point looking up to anyone these days, their all Fcked up. Just concentrate on yourself, try to better yourself as a person. Sometimes a stranger doing a good deed in public can inspire you ... 

 

29 minutes ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

I also bet their gentails are wide than a bucket lol

HAHAHA   probably can drive a truck or lorry into it , dirty trashy sl@gs. feel sorry for their husbands, bechare have no idea what these B!tches are getting up to behind their backs, how sad is that.  Feel sorry for their kids as they will have sl@ppers as mothers.