Getting influenced by words..

[kaur]

17 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

Being eldest sister also I can understand wanting to help but it seems he is taking you as a soft touch now . If he is old enough to get married , he's old enough to get a job , any job to fufill his duties as a husband . He is not your responsibility any more , he HAS to stand on his own two feet , for his marriage's sake and also his own self-esteem .  It's going to be rough watching the struggle but hang back , make sure he understands that you are expecting him to repay his inlaws (I'm guessing that he may have asked them for money too) , live within his means  and WORK for what he wants . This will help him ultimately.

Warn everyone to not fund his laziness and find out just how much he has been spending on other's heads . Are you Mother and Father able to talk to him ?

Yes.. I just wanted to help..give him time to understand life and his responsibilities...I believe some of us take longer to do things but when we do it, we do it with heart, but it seems this is not in his case..

Yes, he is taking money from others as well.. He is old enough.. I totally agree with you JKVLondon.. He is not lisetning to me at all and taking me for granted..

My parents have tried enough, but he doesn't care much..They are tired as well.. He pretty much ignored everyone who will remind him about his duties..

So far, I was helping him financially, morally just because I didn't want him to feel sad or take any wrong directions but my way is wrong as it  is not helping him to be  a better person..

It will hurt me not to help him when I can but t is a time to step back... I agree with your advice and will stick to it.. Thanks a lot..

[kaur]

16 hours ago, indersingh1313 said:

wjkk wjkf ji

the world would be a better place if we all are nice to each other!

but unfortunately that's not the case! 

we live in Kalyug and can not expect everyone to be nice to us even if we are being nice to them.

its also hard to educate the world (our surroundings). do practice Guru's teaching yourself instead.

NOTE:- In my opinion, the solution is, just do your best and try to live life according to Gurbani. do not change your behaviour or good nature because of others. 

second answer:- if you practicing Guru's teaching in your life then rest just follows up. one by one all the problems disappears. 

maybe you understand Gurbani and want to live life accordingly but maybe others only listen to Gurbani and don't wish to practice in their life. and that's ok. its their wish!

Benefits: --- now if you living your life with Guru's teaching then you are the one who will benefit from it not others.

Be the example for them then only they will copy you. 

I can write many examples here but I just keep it short.

hope  it helps!

wjkk wjkf ji

 

 

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa.. Waheguru ji kee Fateh.

Hanji Inder Singh ji, the world would be better place but not everyone will see it the same way we see it..

Your words make sense to me, I just need to focus on Guru's teaching for a better lifestyle..

I have tried to express my feelings but it didn't work well..

Sometimes I used to have doubts about myself when others( they are more spiritual than me and they do proper simran twice a day) were kind of insulting me in front of everyone else because I have different views than them.. That is why I always used to wonder if it is me who is wrong..

I am just a beginner and will miss simran  sometimes as well.. So not that good..

Still I can say I try my best to be a good human.. but this thing was always bothering me..how can someone would be so rude after doing so much of naam simran.. I believe that Waheguru nu yaad kardey kardey asin Waheguru jehey sweet ho jaandey han.. 

Then how can someone become so bitter?

But like you said.. I should focus on what I do.. not what others are doing..

Thanks a lot for your great reply.

Waheguru 

 

[Sat1]

On 9/14/2020 at 9:43 AM, kaur said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa..waheguru jee kee fateh..

Sangat ji I have some concerns regarding our social lives.. Some kathas and sants talk about being alone is good and then I think about this Ghrist Jeevan.

Sometimes we have to sit with a group of people who are talking in general and then end up gossiping and criticizing others.

I know it is wrong and when I tell them as a joke that we should gossip less, I get the answers back like oh this is the reality..this is how people are.. we are just telling the truth..

So I have few questions in my mind.. 

First of all.. When someone call himself/herself spiritual.. can they still be rude? Can they still insult you in front of others to prove you wrong? Can they still criticize( commenting on others' upbringing) ?

What I understood..that once your heart is pure..you actions are simply sweet.. but then these days..everyone goes..oh be careful from those who are sweet talkers.. those who are little rude..they have good hearts..

My second question and really important for me to know is if I sit with someone(elders.....from family) who talks bad about anyone or gossip.. will it effect my karams too? What to do when you have no choice? Sometimes, they complain and expect you to get involved .. anytime I don't answer, I get to hear oh I am not being respectful..I am being ignorant...especially in the family..it is really hard...

Please advice how to handle this situation..

Waheguru JI

Nindya is a great crime in Gods court. A lot of Auntiya, uncles and youngsters think it’s okay which is baffling... a lot of them do their daily five bania and simran but find that it’s okay to behave really uncivilly and engage in nindya rendering their bhagati useless, as when we engage in the five thieves in that way, we fall 

[Singh1989]

Very, very hard as am in the same boat. 

I suppose if / when they tell u to get involved u could simply speak out tukhts where it states Nindia is wrong? (NOT Sant ka nindhk stated in Sukhmani Sahib) but other times Maharaaj mentions Nindia / juglia. If they get it, good. If not... U perfomed your duty, did yer bit. 

[Shaheed4life]

16 hours ago, Singh1989 said:

Very, very hard as am in the same boat. 

I suppose if / when they tell u to get involved u could simply speak out tukhts where it states Nindia is wrong? (NOT Sant ka nindhk stated in Sukhmani Sahib) but other times Maharaaj mentions Nindia / juglia. If they get it, good. If not... U perfomed your duty, did yer bit. 

True.If we tell them we do our part.If they dont listen then that's on them.

[Sat1]

On 9/17/2020 at 6:32 PM, Singh1989 said:

Very, very hard as am in the same boat. 

I suppose if / when they tell u to get involved u could simply speak out tukhts where it states Nindia is wrong? (NOT Sant ka nindhk stated in Sukhmani Sahib) but other times Maharaaj mentions Nindia / juglia. If they get it, good. If not... U perfomed your duty, did yer bit. 

There are whole passages on slandering, you could quote one. The nindaks faces are blackened, It’s a great crime. Gaslighting and slandering can lead to a human being going insane. You hear of kids who grow up mentally unstable after their nindya being done by bullies, and adults who become the same. Very sad. It’s effects can be very real.
 

Some people can not be affected by it and don’t believe it, but in my experience, if it’s bad enough, that’s rare. I believe that much of the world lives in fear of it, and that the media plays on this fact and feeds off And encourages the low self esteem of people. Knowing who we are, our origin is key to not falling for this stuff and not sinking into it mentally.

[Sat1]

On another note, a bunch of trolls and bullies have set up a thread doing my nindya and emotionally abusing me in another thread. Read it and see how nindya works, and how people who speak such sweet words on other threads can become demons on another. Such are many so called bhagats in the age of Kalyug. Wolves in sheep’s clothing. 

[Sat1]

On 9/14/2020 at 9:43 AM, kaur said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa..waheguru jee kee fateh..

Sangat ji I have some concerns regarding our social lives.. Some kathas and sants talk about being alone is good and then I think about this Ghrist Jeevan.

Sometimes we have to sit with a group of people who are talking in general and then end up gossiping and criticizing others.

I know it is wrong and when I tell them as a joke that we should gossip less, I get the answers back like oh this is the reality..this is how people are.. we are just telling the truth..

So I have few questions in my mind.. 

First of all.. When someone call himself/herself spiritual.. can they still be rude? Can they still insult you in front of others to prove you wrong? Can they still criticize( commenting on others' upbringing) ?

What I understood..that once your heart is pure..you actions are simply sweet.. but then these days..everyone goes..oh be careful from those who are sweet talkers.. those who are little rude..they have good hearts..

My second question and really important for me to know is if I sit with someone(elders.....from family) who talks bad about anyone or gossip.. will it effect my karams too? What to do when you have no choice? Sometimes, they complain and expect you to get involved .. anytime I don't answer, I get to hear oh I am not being respectful..I am being ignorant...especially in the family..it is really hard...

Please advice how to handle this situation..

Waheguru JI

[kaur]

On 9/19/2020 at 12:39 AM, Sat1 said:

There are whole passages on slandering, you could quote one. The nindaks faces are blackened, It’s a great crime. Gaslighting and slandering can lead to a human being going insane. You hear of kids who grow up mentally unstable after their nindya being done by bullies, and adults who become the same. Very sad. It’s effects can be very real.
 

Some people can not be affected by it and don’t believe it, but in my experience, if it’s bad enough, that’s rare. I believe that much of the world lives in fear of it, and that the media plays on this fact and feeds off And encourages the low self esteem of people. Knowing who we are, our origin is key to not falling for this stuff and not sinking into it mentally.

Thanks for your reply SAT1 ji..

I agree that slandering does effect our karams and daily life. I used to enjoy this gossip and Nindeya. I used to say oh look how that person reacted or did things in certain situation... like I was enjoying to make big deal out of nothing. It was there like someone was being nice, rude, etc.. It was not a lie but I used to enjoy it with extra masala.. 

It is interesting how similar things happened to me and only then I realized that no one has an easy life to live. Criticizing others, their actions just for the sake of our entertainment is a sin. Finally, I have learned my lesson and still I need to remind myself here and there when I start getting into Nindeya.

We should have compassion for everyone and when it is comes to the slanderers, I would say better to stay quiet. Eventually they will get the message and won't do nindeya and chugli when we are around  It will get better and better as long as we remind ourselves to make this place better for the future generation 

[kaur]

On 9/19/2020 at 1:42 AM, Sat1 said:

On another note, a bunch of trolls and bullies have set up a thread doing my nindya and emotionally abusing me in another thread. Read it and see how nindya works, and how people who speak such sweet words on other threads can become demons on another. Such are many so called bhagats in the age of Kalyug. Wolves in sheep’s clothing. 

Please don't worry about any kind of nindeya others do.. just worry about our karams. Our goal is to be a good human being. Waheguru is there to make others realize about their mistakes. I have felt it and I am so grateful that with Guru's kirpa I learned my lesson.. So much more to learn.. 

Read it and see how nindya works, and how people who speak such sweet words on other threads can become demons on another. Such are many so called bhagats in the age of Kalyug. Wolves in sheep’s clothing. 

These lines above are really strong. My intention was just to get the answers about if we are always meditating, can we still be bitter. I got my answer that once you are like bhagat, you are simply sweet inside and out.. So let's try to be like those bhagats

The rest Waheguru will handle..