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Oh my god! I have never ever in my life interpreted my dastar as a symbol of 'masculinity' ever! It is definitely a symbol of something but not of masculinity, never! My dastar is a symbol of humility, surrender, discipline, reminder of Vaheguru, love for the Guru and many more Sikhi things, but never of masculinity. My dastar is my spiritual identity meaning it reminds me that I am not just skin and bones but I also have another dimension which I have to explore and experience while in this cage. I am very new to this religion but I can assure you, I have totally and completely fallen in love with it and there is nothing else left for me. I have no more words to explain how I feel about this religion, they just fail me.

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There was Charan Amrit from the Guru Sahibs. The concept of Amrit was always there. The Story you're referring to is a bit mixed up my friend. Guru Gobind Singh Ji was approached by a Pandit who said he could summon Durga for Guru Sahib to grant him victory in all Battles. Guru Sahib replied that The Ultimate Power (Akaal Purkh Ji) was already someone he bowed to for Victory and no one else. The Pandit insisted to do this Pooja so Guru Sahib let him conduct his ritual/Pooja. Guru Sahib provided the Pandit with everything he needed for it, After many days Guru Sahib inquired why the Goddess still hadn't appeared. The Pandit thought he'd be smart and try a clever trick. He said that to summon the Goddess they had to sacrifice one of high birth, he was going to ask for one of the Sahibzade. Guru Sahib Ji simply smiled and said there was no one of higher birth than the Pandit, so let's sacrifice the Pandit. Hearing these words the Pandit became distressed and Objected. but Guru Sahib assured him that once the Goddess appeared he'd simply ask her to bring him back to life. The Pandit then started fearing for his life and fled. He told Guru Sahib that he was going for a bath and then left. Guru Sahib (being all knowing) let him flee and had his Sikhs put all the other items and other stuff (the ghee and you know other ritual related stuff) thrown into the Fire that was lit (as per tradition of all Hindu Pooja). The flames produced were so big and it created such a massive spectacle People thought the Devi had come. Guru Sahib descended down onto the gathering masses (this was all taking place on a hill I should probably mention) and had his Sword out. He proclaimed to people that the Sword before him was Durga who obliterated Tyrants, Chandi who drank the blood of her enemies, the destroyer of all Evil. No Devi did appear, It was Guru Sahib once again showing us that sitting around and begging for other forces to assist us is pointless. We should Beg only Akaal Purkh and shouldn't be sitting idle by as Tyrants run rampant. We as Sikhs should be fighting them in any shape and form we can. I think I may have gotten some of the details mixed up but that's the main points of the story -Pandit does Pooja, tries to summon a goddess - tries foolishly to trick the 10th Master - fails and flees - Guru Sahib proves to us that we shouldn't be sitting around for someone else to vanquish our enemies, we should do it ourselves. there was an excellent post by another user that told this story very beautifully. I'll try and find it for you. Worshiping the Hindu Gods isn't same as worshiping Akaal Purkh. Gurbani made this clear and Guru Gobind Singh Ji (using the exact words of Waheguru thyself) further made the nature of these gods clear. Why they exist and what they are doing.

Marriage will not fail if Bibis follow instructions of Gurbani ਕਵਣੁ ਸੁ ਅਖਰੁ ਕਵਣੁ ਗੁਣੁ ਕਵਣੁ ਸੁ ਮਣੀਆ ਮੰਤੁ ॥ ਕਵਣੁ ਸੁ ਵੇਸੋ ਹਉ ਕਰੀ ਜਿਤੁ ਵਸਿ ਆਵੈ ਕੰਤੁ ॥੧੨੬॥ ਨਿਵਣੁ ਸੁ ਅਖਰੁ ਖਵਣੁ ਗੁਣੁ ਜਿਹਬਾ ਮਣੀਆ ਮੰਤੁ ॥ ਏ ਤ੍ਰੈ ਭੈਣੇ ਵੇਸ ਕਰਿ ਤਾਂ ਵਸਿ ਆਵੀ ਕੰਤੁ ॥੧੨੭॥: Kavan su akhar kavan gun kavan su maneeaa mant. Kavan su veso haou karee jit vas aavai kant. Niwan su akhar khavan gun jihba maneeaa mant. Ye trai bhaine ves kar taa vas aavee kant ||127||: What is that word, what is that virtue, and what is that magic Mantra? What are those clothes, which I can wear to captivate my Husband Lord? ||126|| Humility is the word, forgiveness is the virtue, and sweet speech is the magic mantra. Wear these three robes, O sister, and you will captivate your Husband God ||127|| (sggs 1384). ਭੇਖੀ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਨ ਲਭਈ ਵਿਣੁ ਸਚੀ ਸਿਖੰ ॥ Bẖekẖī parabẖū na labẖī viṇ sacẖī sikẖaʼn. They wear religious robes, but without the True Teachings, God is not found. ਪਰਮਾਤਮਾ ਭੇਖਾਂ ਦੀ ਰਾਹੀਂ ਨਹੀਂ ਲੱਭਦਾ, (ਗੁਰੂ ਦੇ) ਸੱਚੇ ਉਪਦੇਸ਼ ਤੋਂ ਬਿਨਾ ਨਹੀਂ ਮਿਲਦਾ।(SGGS jeeo - Ang1099)

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There is a deterrent effect sure but if the girl gives off nervous vibe they will try their arm . SHastr without knowledge and training are worthless, besides empty hand techniques would be invaluable just in case you get jumped before you can do something or if you get disarmed in the set-to

@Keeping it real ji, I don't think everybody is making out they have them, it's a discussion only from what knowledge they have. There's also a difference between Akaal shaktis and ridhi sidhi. So you enlighten us on what they are ji, as sounds like you have some knowledge. ਰਿਧਿ ਸਿਧਿ ਸਭੁ ਮੋਹੁ ਹੈ ਨਾਮੁ ਨ ਵਸੈ ਮਨਿ ਆਇ ॥ रिधि सिधि सभु मोहु है नामु न वसै मनि आइ ॥ Riḏẖ siḏẖ sabẖ moh hai nām na vasai man ā▫e. Riches and miracles are all worldly attachment and hence the Name come not to abide in the mind. SGGS Ang 593

number 4 is the most common reason why people say they are patit , because they feel all those scummy individuals who are bhekhi sikhs are indicative of a level of hypocrisy that is almost inevitable amongst those who decide to become amritdhari. I had cousins say it , friends here , even kids in India. We need to show out the good side of Khalsa to counteract this unreasonable hatred against the Faith

All that from just one spiked drink? I assume it was Diet Coke too. I'm beginning to think some of us are going hyper on the white knighting in these situations. We are unwittingly absolving some of these girls who relish playing with fire of all responsibility when they get burnt. Not in all situations BTW.

I have to agree with Ranjeet that we should not throw everything up in air and start blaming something that is not yet proven. Pin point the issue/mistake and then see how to solve them. I am sure that all biharis in punjab are not probably treated fairly regardless of their dharam.

this act of discarding the dastaar by the female is a rather telling look into the minds of the girls who do this, and how they generally perceive Sikhi. Whether they act like this knowingly or not is up for debate. My theory is that when something like this occurs, the girl or woman is making a statement which says, "I relinquish this symbol of masculinity; the same masculinity that I hold responsible for the end of my marriage." It's an act of rebellion or something done out of anger to "hurt" the faceless and nameless Sikh male collective IMO. Of course, it unwittingly exposes the fact that the female was wearing a dastaar and following Sikhi for all the wrong reasons. That's the biggest tragedy, I.E. she fails to realise the dastaar has nothing to do with her woes. It's similar to when western women undergo a relationship breakup, and they get a new hairdo or change something about their appearance in a drastic manner in order to symbolise a new beginning by discarding the remnants of their past. Quite sad that Sikhi is viewed as an accessory or something to be jettisoned when things turn sour, when it's nothing of the sort.

Life is a one long/short journey depending on how long one lives. This journey is also full of tests. Why should one think that they have arrived at their 'destination' just because they are married? What is it about 'marriage' that gives one that idea? It is never a 'destination' nor is anything else for that matter! We only have one destination and that is when we have merged with God, never before. You could say, marriage is a milestone in one's life but not a destination. We don't ever go into a marriage thinking we will get praises nor do we go into a marriage to apply all the knowledge that we have gained at our parents' home. Why should anyone in their right mind think that they are lucky just because they are married and have a life partner? Why would a 'gurmukh parvar' behave in such a way as to upset others? Gurmat doesn't teach us to behave in hurtful manner towards others, so, why would they behave in such a way to hurt their daughte in law? "However the Guru advises us to stay calm and to recite waheguru in your heart. You are like a rose among thorns. That is why it is called saure ghar. If you want to save your marriage you have to burn your ego and learn to humble yourself before your parvaar. Show your respect to your mum in law no matter what she says. (This is hard)" Absolutely, but Guru Sahibaan also tells us to take a stand against 'unrighteousness' don't ever ignore it. What is wrong is wrong. If others do wrong unto you, their wrong deed does not become right just because you choose to ignore it or tolerate it!! You will definitely turn into a rose if you keep tolerating others wrongful conduct towards you without taking any action but there is a difference between a fragrant rose and a non fragrant one. If you wish to turn into an unfragrant one who is always feeling bitter, angry and sorry for youself, then go ahead and be one. You are a human being just like the members of your 'saure ghar.' Why should you be the one to burn your ego? Have the members of your 'saure ghar' managed to do the same so that you have to follow suite? It's a virtue to be humble but like everything else, this also has limits. One can only take something up to a certain point. There is a limit to everything in this worl of ours'. I sometimes wonder, is the institution of marriage absolutely necessary in this day and age,seeing it inflicts so much pain on those involved? I don't understand all this.

What's there to be scared off? The children of those who avenged the killings of the Sikhs of Pothohar are also here in the UK.

Only someone who has had his head buried in the sand for the last decade or so or who has no understanding of the dynamics of Islam and what Islam has done to the Sikhs throughout their history would write such drivel. I must say you are an ideal dhimmi, a willing slave.

Come on Guys, it's a simple case of Sikhi kehnouna saukhi aa , kamouni aukhi aa.... some points: 1. unrealistic expectations put in unmarried girls head by parents : A: after marriage you'll be free to do as you like ... no after marriage you will have double the number of elders to put their advice forward on how you should be. B: when you get married that partner will make a real effort to get to know you and support you , 8 times out of 10 he won't bother if he can get away with it (path of least resistance and all that) C: The love and sewa you give will be appreciated by your in-laws and they in turn will love you as their own beti , most bibian I know including myself just get tolerated and our giving never lessens only increases over the years D: Once you have Kids that will help solidify the marriage, that old chestnut has probably stressed out more marriages than anything else...if you are gonna spend life together make sure you are both at the same page. 2. Unrealistic expectations put in new sikhs heads A: amrit shak ke you will be unwavering in your faith , everyone has ups and down in their minds you just have to learn to accept that is the nature of life and carry on B: A Dastar will earn you respect from people , maybe some but not all, as it may remind them of their own lack and that may trigger lashing out C: Apney will understand support you, truth is if people are Punjabi first , no they will try to undermine you at every turn (even know one Singhni whose MIL was dastar wali too but was very against her doing her nitnem and wearing dastar D: As soon as you have amrit it will be so much easier to achieve spiritually , yes the road is less ardous because it is straighter but the effort and focus that is needed is more demanding on you at all times . Marriage is not the destination is the start of a new chapter of life just as much as becoming Amritdhari is not...but people get misguided and think well I'm putting effort in but no fruit yet , or in this case the fruit is less than desirable and give up ...in both cases I would say you have to consider that the old business has to be dealt with i.e. Karma then you will be free .We have the friends and families we have because of picchle lehne dehne just roll with it and when you get rough treatment pray for sabar and santokh and keep doing your best 'bure da bhale kar , gussa man na hundiay' as Gurbani advises. Look I know I am not a good person and outsiders get haraan about the nonsense I have put up with from my in-laws but if I behaved as they did where would my sikhi disappear to ? They may be stuck in the games that maya plays but that is their karam , I pray that they find the truth, happiness and not disturb my family's sikhi but I leave it to Guru ji to do the shifting of minds and hearts as My years of open-hearted sewa hasnt' moved anything along . Sure you have days you question why but then it passes when your kids give you the answer ...twenty years on ...it is still hard work but this is life , not a bollywood fantasy.

Sister, let us not mix the terms deities and spirits. Spirits can be good or bad, but the deities or devtas are virtuous. They are to do good or help to the good and punish the bad. They by themselves have higher powers watching over them, they can not do anything just like that, otherwise they will have to pay for their avarice, greed or kaam... As we are nor perfect and as general rule, I would say to stay in the safe side, we must base our lives according to Gurmat, that by itself will be a Laksman rekha. which will protect us from maya, kaal, and all the possible evil. Sat Sree Akal.

Guru Gobind Singh Ji beautifully wrote in Chaupai Sahib. ta ko kar pahn anumant maha moorh kcho bhaid na jant mahadaiv ko keht sda siv nirankar ka chint neh bhiv. (16) The fools consider Him a stone, for He does not know the Profound Mysterym that is God. He calls Shiva, The Eternal Lord, and does not know the secret of the Formless Lord. (16) I apologize for the lack of Gurmukhi. Guru Sahib also mentions in the Pure Bani of Japji Sahib about the various Realms. One such realm is the Realm of Gyan (or Spiritual Knowledge). The Pauri Beautifully illustrates how these powerful beings are still bound Maya, that Brahma,Vishnu,Shiva. There are countless numbers of them. But then Guru Sahib goes on and describes those who are fortunate enough to be blessed with the name. If we're to go by the order of the Realms, Karam Khand where the Devotees of the Lord reside, is far closer and far higher up than Gods and Goddesses. To a Sikh they should be of no importance. Regarding your Pauri about the one divine mother. I hadn't heard that interpretation of that, that actually has helped me understand some things I was struggling with. Mine has always been that The Divine Mother is referring to Akaal Purkh and the giving of the birth is referring to 3 of his countless aspects. The 3 most people seem to stress over. Creation, Sustaining and Destroying. That was beautifully written.

I was speaking broadly. I would concur in this case the blame rests on them all. in my humble opinion, while I confess I'm not an expert on the social effect of immigration, I feel the bigger the community the more we seem to develop this drive to move up the hierarchy which builds itself up. You get the usual professions. Doctor, Lawyer etc But with the surge of Sikh Pride now sweeping the western amongst those who have moved here, it seems Gurudwara Chief has joined that rank. People seem to treat it more like a trophy and something to parade around. They see Modi, the Prime Minister of India. Imagine the dinner conversations that could be directed to yourself. Imagine the sense of awe people would have towards you as you narrate in explicit detail how you shook the hand of the Prime Minister of India.

Well mine have only just started. I suffered from a reoccuring dream as a Child, Akaal Purkh's protection (since I upped the amount of prayers i do) has helped me stop them. These dreams occurred once or twice for me. Never regularly, honestly glad to be honest. The Concept of premonition scares me. Akaal Purkh works in thy own way. I don't think im all that pure lol. Very flawed, dunno about the Bhaji above but I am aware spiritually enlightened beings are able to see into the future regularly. Some of us Paapi might be blessed by the Divine father every now and then. Before my birth my dad spoke of a Sant that predict some pretty scarily accurate things about me. Even predicted I would be a guy and everything.

It doesn't help when people paste picture of Guru Nanak Dev Ji and Bibi Nanaki ji tying it. Guru Nanak never wore a single thread on his hand, nor did any other of our Masters and their blessed Sikhs. Alas...We're going still chasing after pointless,mundane practices.

Dear Gupt Jee, whether we call it holes, apertures or doors, the reality does not change. Gurmat has no mistakes, it is perfection made manifest. When it is said Dasam Dwar, what does it mean and what does that imply? Anybody who knows a bit of spirituality, knows that Dasam Dwar, is referred to the point between the 2 eyes at our forehead, it is the door or tenth door which one has to pass in, in order to enter the spiritual realms, through simran or meditation. Then the other conclusion we get also, is, now that we know what is Tenth Dwar referred to, what are the other nine portals, holes or doors? These apertures or holes are called so, because it is through them we interact with the mayavee world, or we can say through them our consciousness / attention, goes out, while with meditation or concentartion we gather or withdraw all our attention, from the world and as said above, do the necessary to enter the spiritual realms or dimensions, that´s it. So now, what are the remaining nine portals? Thy are as follows: 2 eyes, 2 ears, mouth, 2 nose nostrils, and 2 lower apertures(one anus and one urinary organ). Though the sexual organ in man and woman are different in sizes and shapes, but nevertheless, it is considered as only one portal, though it is used to either indulge in "kaam" or to pass urine, but ultimately, nothing more than that mainly. In the end, 9 + 1= 10. So these nine lower apertures, plus, the Daswan Dwar, make ten portals, where, 9 are physicall, and the tenth one, is subtle. Sat Sree Akal.

I tell you, the hypocrisy of some so-called 'high caste' Panjabi pendu 'Sikhs' is revolting.....

In this case the 'young' are just as bad as the 'old'. Those muppets at 'City Sikhs' are full of young professionals working in the city. Although the word 'professional' might indicate a high level of intellect these cretins are however, serial muppets. Basically, that organisation could easily rename itself 'Ramgharias in the City' because essentially thats what they are. You get a sense of their muppetry by reading their annual 'highly respected' British Sikh Report. Each year, whenever you read it, it becomes clear that these people imagine Sikhs in Briatin started with the arrival of ramgharias from east Africa in the 1970's. They have absolutely zero knowledge, understanding or wish to learn about any of the people that laid the foundation for them in the 40's, 50's and 60's. So, with un-padh uncles you can understand why and how they don't understand why they should not be welcoming Modi. But there is absolutely no excuse for this group of young 'educated' types. They ought to feel thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

And how does the Sri Guru Singh Sabha Committee think Modi will react when he comes to the Park Avenue Gurdwara and sees that 12 foot painting of Sant Bhindranwale and the jhujaroos fighting to the death against the Indian Army? Or that portrait of Sant Ji in the langar at Havelock? Utterly shameless. No principles, no conviction, and apparently, no brains.