Adoption

[Bhajneet]

Blood is very important to Indians (and it disgusts me to this day). My mother will always defend my uncle (though i'm sorry to say) is very very anti-gurmat, only because he is blood-related (she's also like this with her sister, but since my masi is a very nice and generous person, i dont think to much on it).

It honestly disgusts me how you can stick up for a person that you know is doing some very bad things. The whole Indian mentality has done this, there used to be a caste system and ever since it was abolished you had to make your "name" good. You had to marry into this family because they would make you more "respected"

Codswallop all of it, If you wanna adopt a kid.... excellent in my opinion.

[buddasingh]

I also want to adopt, i've spoken about it, everyone says, yes there are a lot of kids, but... theres always a but..... indians have this thing about kids being ur own blood. I would love to adopt, but again being in an indian family you have to look at a lot of things, like if my future inlaws say no <_< then what?

there are so many children out there who need love, who need a family. I think its important to adopt.

87983[/snapback]

What happened to the head smashing wall smilie? Or was that on waheguroo.com? You and your husband can decide, your in-laws can have input but NOT DICTATE.

Yes it is very important for BOTH men and women to cooperate with and respect future in-laws. So often it seems like women feel like they will be living in someone else's house if they move in with their husband and be taking directions from someone else. ASSUME otherwise. Easily said, but the more SIKH WOMEN take this stance the better.

SIKH MEN HELP MAKE THIS THE CASE, support your wives be independent people in their own homes. It makes me so (self-admin profanity filter activated) that Sikh sisters have to think this way!! I need that machine gun and head smashing smilie so badly (being a guy of course).

[Guest Sony]

lol

these icons? yea i think i can use them too <_<

but ur right it should not be like that and woman should be independent, however as time goes on and the more people i meet the more i realize we are still a long way from that. but hopefully in the future lets see what happens......

[Jaspaul Singh]

We should all be independent in making our own decisions <_< ... i LOVEEEE kids... i was prepared for a whole hockey team squad .. lol .. but adopting them would be easier ....... for my wife i guess....

hahahaha

j/k .. (but i still want a lot of kids )

[sskhalsa]

what if u adopt a child that is around 8-9 years old, and has been born and raised a christian and is pretty hardcore i guess u could say....would u bring him/her into sikhism? or not?

and if not, would u take him/her to barber etc?

[Guest Sony]

thats the thing most people are very scared about... because the child is older they have already been introduced to certain things.

if i get a choice, or when i do... or hopefully if i do, i would want to adopt a child who is a baby or very young. when it comes to religion, the one thing that i was taught and i would teach that child is to respect all religions. it is their choice to choose whatever religion they like. I will try my best to teach them about Sikhi. and guru kirpa naal they will understand what Sikhi is. but its their choice.

adopting an older kid is a lot harder.... not just when it comes to religion but many other things aswell.......

pul chuk maaf

Fateh

[Gurpreet Singh]

We should all be independent in making our own decisions  ... i LOVEEEE kids... i was prepared for a whole hockey team squad .. lol .. but adopting them would be easier ....... for my wife i guess....

hahahaha 

j/k ..  (but i still want a lot of kids  )

u love kids but they don't like u..u r so mean <_<

[Shaheed]

you know all these older ppl who say stick to your own blood arent just weird and heartless......

think about it kids = $$ sooo you gotta make money to support them......now wat if u only had enuff money to send one to uni send your own blood or the adopted one? you could say ohh id make them botrh work for uni n all thats fine but my example is the favoritism....it can happen without you knowing

lets say ur punjabi and u adopt a chinese kid right.....sooo lets say your fair and don't judge or pick favs......but the chinese kid will know they are different and some times non adopted kids accuse the parents of picking siblings over them when they fight

what if the adopted kids thinks hes being treated unfair?

many of us come from farming families in india but we cant think like hic's "i like kids lets adopt one".......

lol just to let u all know im not heartless....kids love me i just wanna make sure all the ppl who said they will adopt that they understand risks to the children!!!

[Guest Sony]

veerji i think i understand the risk, but at the same time, here are kids who dont have neone to look after them.

i have seen kids who are not adopted say that to their parents, that they choose favourites. i understand the risks of adopting, but at the same time, i think that there are a lot of starving children, a lot of children out there who need a family, and to me that is more important. you try to raise kids the best you can. and in the end.., its all up to guru ji.........

pul chuk maaf

Fateh

[buddasingh]

you know all these older ppl who say stick to your own blood arent just weird and heartless......

think about it kids = $$ sooo you gotta make money to support them......now wat if u only had enuff money to send one to uni send your own blood or the adopted one? you could say ohh id make them botrh work for uni n all thats fine but my example is the favoritism....it can happen without you knowing

lets say ur punjabi and u adopt a chinese kid right.....sooo lets say your fair and don't judge or pick favs......but the chinese kid will know they are different and some times non adopted kids accuse the parents of picking siblings over them when they fight

what if the adopted kids thinks hes being treated unfair?

many of us come from farming families in india but we cant think like hic's "i like kids lets adopt one".......

lol just to let u all know im not heartless....kids love me i just wanna make sure all the ppl who said they will adopt that they understand risks to the children!!!

88064[/snapback]

The solution to what you propose as a dilemma is very simple. If one thinks that they are someone who could end up favoring some kids in their care as their children over other children of theirs then adoption is definitely not for them.

In fact I would take it a step further and suggest that they seriously think about what they are missing in their thought process before raising any kids. When one raises kids they should be able to teach them very simple things like sarbat da phalla, not khoon/jaat/caste da phalla.

All children are a gift from waheguroo entrusted to your care, don't ever expect to have the faintest notion of ownership, just awe.