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[ConfusedSingh1]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

Sangat ji,

I am going through a lot of problems these days. How do we draw the line. Guru Granth Sahib ji and the Guru Sahibs have always told us to respect our parents but what if they are telling us something thats against what guru ji is saying?

What are their role on us and what exactly should we follow?

I'm Desperately in need of help!!

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[Pheena]

depends upon their intentions. It seems they are culturly influenced and you are Religiously influenced. If they ask you to do something which you feel ils wrong, then make them aware of it. I just hope your parents are open minded enough to listen to their children.

I doubt they are donig it to cause harm to you. Perhaps from their perception it will be good for you. Don't make this a one sided thing. Step into their shoes...don't lash out on them. but It is your responsibility to express your concerns regarding the decision they are making for you.

Ask Question.

[Shaheed]

do whats right and take the shittarss

[ConfusedSingh1]

I doubt they are donig it to cause harm to you. Perhaps from their perception it will be good for you. Don't make this a one sided thing. Step into their shoes...don't lash out on them. but It is your responsibility to express your concerns regarding the decision they are making for you.

my guru tells me not to follow rituals and worship idols and my family says its not rituals, my family says that i should marry in my own caste because its good for my future when my guru says we shouldn't believe in caste. Everyone is equal.

Now guru ji also tells us that we need to show respect to our parents...how far should we go with this respect...wouldn't disrespecting them be doing the stuff above <_<..im totally lost and losing it

[Khalsa Fauji]

do whats right and take the shittarss

89448[/snapback]

Gurfateh!!

I wouldn't agree with that veer ji. My dad has always taught me that your parents are God, because that is what Maharaaj Ji says. Everyone goes through difficult times and most the times what parents say should be respected and obeyed, even if we as children have to just clench our teeth and bite our tongues and do it....

However there are some parents who are very bad and instill bad values into their children, for eg. i was reading in the paper last week that a 12 year old boy raped his teacher stole her car and sped over 100mph before getting caught. In court they were told his mother would sexually abuse him as 2 year olds and by three he was making his teddy bears have sexual intercourse....

So there are some seriously sick parents out there, but when your mature you kind of know whats right and wrong if your parents are seriously messed up and telling you to do messed up things then don't if you know its wrong instead find someone to help them, don't abandon them because they are your parents...

Anyway thats my 2 pence <_< there are probably other ways to go about these issues but talk to some one who is close to you and your family and someone you can confide in... Take care hope all works out

Bhul Chuk Maaf

Gurfateh!!

[Khalsa Fauji]

I doubt they are donig it to cause harm to you. Perhaps from their perception it will be good for you. Don't make this a one sided thing. Step into their shoes...don't lash out on them. but It is your responsibility to express your concerns regarding the decision they are making for you.

my guru tells me not to follow rituals and worship idols and my family says its not rituals, my family says that i should marry in my own caste because its good for my future when my guru says we shouldn't believe in caste. Everyone is equal.

Now guru ji also tells us that we need to show respect to our parents...how far should we go with this respect...wouldn't disrespecting them be doing the stuff above <_<..im totally lost and losing it

89451[/snapback]

Gurfateh!!

Just read your response to a different post after i posted mine, in that case you have to show them what Guru Ji says don't try and change them but let them appreciate what you want to do, don't argue with them either and don't just throw quotes of Bani in their faces either because you do not want to humiliate you parents.... Its a slow process but with Guru Ji kirpa you'll get through it don't forget about doing Ardaasa either ....

Bhul Chuk Maaf

Gurfateh!!

[Pheena]

I doubt they are donig it to cause harm to you. Perhaps from their perception it will be good for you. Don't make this a one sided thing. Step into their shoes...don't lash out on them. but It is your responsibility to express your concerns regarding the decision they are making for you.

my guru tells me not to follow rituals and worship idols and my family says its not rituals, my family says that i should marry in my own caste because its good for my future when my guru says we shouldn't believe in caste. Everyone is equal.

Now guru ji also tells us that we need to show respect to our parents...how far should we go with this respect...wouldn't disrespecting them be doing the stuff above <_<..im totally lost and losing it

89451[/snapback]

Idol worshipping is a Ritual if you let it become a dead act repeated everyday unconciously without love. Certainly it is against the tenets of Sikhism. But not against the Tenets of Love, Sharda, Bhaavna.

Its not your parents fault, rather they have been brought up as such that htey cannot think or percieve otherwise. It is common for parents to enfoce their views and lifestyle upon their kids and expect them to follow.

you can either stand up to your parents (not in a forecefull manner, but with patience) because you feel what they are doing is a cause of concern and share with them what you feel. Express that you do not feel right in your heart. Open up a verbal dialog in which a resolutino can be found. Speak first to whichever parent or sibling is most likely to hear you out fully.

Or

Understand this, You are there where your mind is. If you are performing a ritual and your mind is on simran then that is where you are and perhaps that Ritual will become Alive because of your Simran. If you are bowing to an Idol but within you are bowing to the Guru then you are bowing to the Guru. It is a matter of your percepetion which will need to be changed. That way you can keep your parents happy and you won't be uncomfortable in those situations.

As for a line being drawn, it all depend on how open your parents are, hopefully there won't be a need to draw a line.

[smartsingh24]

it's hard for me to understand, or even equate myself to your level because my parents don't believe in that stuff. I'd try to make my parents see it from my level. The best way to do that is get gurbani quotes. There is no way that they could refute them.

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

When it comes to things like that, explain your position, try to make them understand, but DRAW THE LINE. The reason is it's what is right that matters... and no matter who opposes, sometimes the right thing must be done.

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

[All-Info]

Take a Hukham and follow your gut instinct!

This isnt probably the best advice!!! But so far is worked for me!