A Question!

[curious_man]

mehtab ji...thre's a saying in hindi... "samajhdaar ke liye..ishaara hi kaafi hai".... :T:

[SSM]

lol thats what bhenji said:

''erm....the person in question who doesnt want the reception (no hints!) ...iz because she feels its not appropriate considering she never goes to receptions/parties ''

no hints- course she is. lol.

i want to see the wedding photos.

[proud_to_be_singhni]

lol thats what bhenji said:

''erm....the person in question who doesnt want the reception (no hints!) ...iz because she feels its not appropriate considering she never goes to receptions/parties ''

no hints- course she is. lol.

i want to see the wedding photos.

142260[/snapback]

mehtab praajeee ju arre berry slow.....

[singhni84]

Bhain Jee, I think you should think about what Amarjeet Singh has written:

forget the reception. and if he dnt agree to a rainsbai instead, his sikhi isnt looking very strong. and if someone with a strong sikhi marries some1 with weak sikhi, the person strong in their sikhi will be pulled down as when you are married, evry thing u do affects both husvabd and wife. y does he want a reception thing anyway? sounds rubbish to me

If you yourself don't attend receptions due to it being against your principles, you'd want your husband to respect those principles too, if not share in them, right? Compromises can go only so far. When you're compromising on your principles, it's not a worthwhile trade.

[Guest Guest]

im surprised at the amount of ppl who are saying compromise compromise reception reception

another common thing ive seen is the girl being forced by the mother in law to 'compromise' and wear makeup on her wedding, even though its against her rehit given by panj pyarai... is it that we can stop beign a sikh for a day?

[Barik]

have both

[Pheena]

Here is a scenario.....

Now suppose you getting married and your significant other half wants to have a reception after the anand karaj and you don't.

Then what?

What do you do? You both get on, you wanna still marry but this.....

So, what would you do???

    :music:

142043[/snapback]

Perhaps it would be helpful giving a better advice if we knew the reasons for you not wanting a reception.

but here is a general answer.

Compromise. The Husband has just as much right to have a Reception after the

wedding as the wife has the right to refuse to have one. Perhaps you guys can compromise on the type of event that you guys want held at the reception or find a common ground on the things you don't want to have and want to have and he do the same. Who knows maybe you will actually enjoy. Sometimes you will have to step back and sometimes he will have to.

142056[/snapback]

erm....the person in question who doesnt want the reception (no hints!) ...iz because she feels its not appropriate considering she never goes to receptions/parties at any1 elses wedding and stays at darbar hall or goes home to help after everyone has come back etc.....the noise, music, dancing iz not her scene at all and wud most probably upset her.

She wants simple wedding, kirtan and then lovely langar with a get together at home....no parties etc.

But saying that she loves and also respects her "to be"....so she stuck! How can she compromise??

anyone????

142107[/snapback]

beloved, It seems obvious that you don't want this bump on the road to cause a big issue. How certain are you that 'he' wants the same type of a wedding you wish to have? Perhaps he is also compromising his ways to give you the wedding you wish to have. It is also obvious this is a very special day for the both of you and you will remember this day for the rest of this life so you want it to be a experience which will bring memories you will cherish.

When i say compromise, it does not necessarily mean that you will have to compromise to his ways, rather it means to find a common ground between 2 individuals. After all this is a marriage between 2 people and its bidirectional.

If there is still time in the wedding and reception, then i suggest you put more effort into getting your voice heard to your family and to your soon to be husband about your desire to not have a reception. You will be surprise what effort can produce, who knows maybe the will of god is the same as yours that there will be no reception at the wedding. If you are very intent in not having it, then make a stand and force the other to compromise. That day will be what you make of it.

And if there is a reception, then make the best out of it, just observe the play of others, distant yourself mentally from the noise, music, dancing. Let that time be a time for a internal test for you mind. There are often times when we are placed in a position where we do not wish to be and that we are forced to turn towards God. Personally that initself is a gift for that environment produced a circumstance that made us remember our priorities of rememberance of our Beloved. I have found that i remember God most in places where i do not wish to be. Perhaps it will bring upon an experience for you that you will never forget.

We believe that we should create a distance between those things that do not aid us in being more closer to god. Initially that is the best and only option. But if by chance we are place in those situations, instead of running away let those situations be a place for meditation...we cannot always live in the boundry of our safe-zone. There will come times when we will have to walk thru the places which we feel as harmful to our growth. In reality it is only when we walk thru those places that we are able to judge, analyze our progress. That even walking through them my rememberance of God did not break. That day will be what you make of it and make the best of what you are given.

Beloved sister, I wish you the best of luck on your journey and may god bless you with Love, Love and nothing but Love.

[proud_to_be_singhni]

Here is a scenario.....

Now suppose you getting married and your significant other half wants to have a reception after the anand karaj and you don't.

Then what?

What do you do? You both get on, you wanna still marry but this.....

So, what would you do???

    :music:

142043[/snapback]

Perhaps it would be helpful giving a better advice if we knew the reasons for you not wanting a reception.

but here is a general answer.

Compromise. The Husband has just as much right to have a Reception after the

wedding as the wife has the right to refuse to have one. Perhaps you guys can compromise on the type of event that you guys want held at the reception or find a common ground on the things you don't want to have and want to have and he do the same. Who knows maybe you will actually enjoy. Sometimes you will have to step back and sometimes he will have to.

142056[/snapback]

erm....the person in question who doesnt want the reception (no hints!) ...iz because she feels its not appropriate considering she never goes to receptions/parties at any1 elses wedding and stays at darbar hall or goes home to help after everyone has come back etc.....the noise, music, dancing iz not her scene at all and wud most probably upset her.

She wants simple wedding, kirtan and then lovely langar with a get together at home....no parties etc.

But saying that she loves and also respects her "to be"....so she stuck! How can she compromise??

anyone????

142107[/snapback]

beloved, It seems obvious that you don't want this bump on the road to cause a big issue. How certain are you that 'he' wants the same type of a wedding you wish to have? Perhaps he is also compromising his ways to give you the wedding you wish to have. It is also obvious this is a very special day for the both of you and you will remember this day for the rest of this life so you want it to be a experience which will bring memories you will cherish.

When i say compromise, it does not necessarily mean that you will have to compromise to his ways, rather it means to find a common ground between 2 individuals. After all this is a marriage between 2 people and its bidirectional.

If there is still time in the wedding and reception, then i suggest you put more effort into getting your voice heard to your family and to your soon to be husband about your desire to not have a reception. You will be surprise what effort can produce, who knows maybe the will of god is the same as yours that there will be no reception at the wedding. If you are very intent in not having it, then make a stand and force the other to compromise. That day will be what you make of it.

And if there is a reception, then make the best out of it, just observe the play of others, distant yourself mentally from the noise, music, dancing. Let that time be a time for a internal test for you mind. There are often times when we are placed in a position where we do not wish to be and that we are forced to turn towards God. Personally that initself is a gift for that environment produced a circumstance that made us remember our priorities of rememberance of our Beloved. I have found that i remember God most in places where i do not wish to be. Perhaps it will bring upon an experience for you that you will never forget.

We believe that we should create a distance between those things that do not aid us in being more closer to god. Initially that is the best and only option. But if by chance we are place in those situations, instead of running away let those situations be a place for meditation...we cannot always live in the boundry of our safe-zone. There will come times when we will have to walk thru the places which we feel as harmful to our growth. In reality it is only when we walk thru those places that we are able to judge, analyze our progress. That even walking through them my rememberance of God did not break. That day will be what you make of it and make the best of what you are given.

Beloved sister, I wish you the best of luck on your journey and may god bless you with Love, Love and nothing but Love.

142300[/snapback]

Has anybody ever told you this (i bet they have)....You Rock!!!!!

I read your post thru 5 times or more and each time the more i read the more things begun to make sense. I did not even think that way.....

I do spend most of my time running away from these events .then again a suitable thing wud be to go to one of these events before, there is one coming up soon which i was going to ignore the reception mayb i need to attend and see how i feel?!...(brain getting ideas...hmmm)...and if i dont like it il raise my voice (hey prateek paji, no trouble there! lol!)

thanx again all .....

[disguised]

i dont fancy receptions.... ..... i perosnally think its a waste of money... adn instead of booking a hall or somethin... spend tht money on ur house... or a trip....

[curious_man]

and if i dont like it il raise my voice (hey prateek paji, no trouble there! lol!)

aww...sis... i know thre wont be any trouble... u can handle any situation... u r guruji's daughter...

infact me as a small bro of urs..will need ure protection....

hmm... tht was too senti...... bahaha