How Far?

[Guest relationships]

SikhSangat, how far can a relationship go between a boy and a girl?

My sister is not currently amritshak but i've suspected her of being relly close to an amrittari boy. I dont see anything wrong cos I know they not dodgy people and must be doing everything to the maryada. They make a nice couple in my head and I think its why my sister wants to become amrit shakked.

I will not be surprised if a marriage proposal is made :| It would be cool to have an elder brother good in sikhi (and to play cricket wiv) but if this contacting is wrong then he must be dodgy.

Im still a beginner sikh finishing college and hope to do amrit shak and become guru da sikh.

gupy

[Golee Maro]

its all about intentions. BUT one should not indulge in a physical relationship - save soemthing for marriage!!

I think if a couple talk, hold hands and hug, thats fine... but kissing, touching, and other lustful activities are just not on and not something a GurSikh should be doing at all.

When you talk to someone, remember you are the Son of Guru Gobind Singh Jee. Dont talk dirty, look dirty or touchy dirty. Theres a lot of definitions to "flirting" and a lot of people do it (some without even realising it) but theres a line.

Inevitably, you will marry, and i wouldnt say "right, totally keep away from people of the opposite gender". I would say "in moderation, with good intentions and respectfully." Dont do stuff. And ESPECIALLY dont do "stuff" in public where you disrespect Sikhi saroop and our Father, Guru Gobind Singh Jee.

Forgive my mistakes.

[Revolutionary]

I feel you dont need to ask us for your own opinion.

Think about it, can you imagine your sister being kissed/touched up in an alley way with her bf?

And then what if he runs away?! (u never know ji)

Sorry, it shouldnt be US whos answering that.. should be YOU.

[Guest Guest]

err ... guruji's sipahi....technically it shouldn't even be him, it should be his sister...

but he DID ask US...so we can only provide our own opinion

[Golee Maro]

I feel you dont need to ask us for your own opinion.

Think about it, can you imagine your sister being kissed/touched up in an alley way with her bf?

And then what if he runs away?! (u never know ji)

Sorry, it shouldnt be US whos answering that.. should be YOU.

good point.

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

That's not likely to happen. If your sister has found an amritdhari to be with, both keeping strong in their sikhi and maryada, it should be a time for celebration, not doubts.

You should have faith in your sister's ability to control herself when necessary, and trust her to do what's best for her sikhi. If the boy is also a strong amritdhari, then they both will stay strong and won't "mess up".

Congratulations to them all!

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

[Gupt Lion]

relationships harm your sprituality they are to be avoided at all costs they are manmat

the realtionship has not been accepted by guru sahib as anand karaj has not taken place

in this day and age we think such things are acceptable and think oh its only a minor thing etc..

but it it wrong should refrain from having relationship with anyone outside marriage

do you think the gurus had a few gfs or whathave you before they got married??

if they are jsut friends it is fine but if your sis likes him and wats to come into sikhi just because of him

her sikhi will be false and will achieve nothing by this

you have to make sure that she realsies that relationships are wrong and harm ones sprituality

we are living in kalyug where such things are acceptable in this day and age but that does not make them right

to get rid of this manmat we must jaap imense amount of naam and become guru wale keep rehat, do seva, keep strict amritvela and above all jaap naam

[Bhajan_preet]

If your sis likes him and wats to come into sikhi just because of him her sikhi will be false and will achieve nothing by this.

Not necessarily; it depends on why she's coming into Sikhi. She could be:

1) Going into it because she wants him to like her (which is the bad one), or

2) She's inspired by him (which is the good one :| ).

[Gupt Lion]

If your sis likes him and wats to come into sikhi just because of him her sikhi will be false and will achieve nothing by this.

Not necessarily; it depends on why she's coming into Sikhi. She could be:

1) Going into it because she wants him to like her (which is the bad one), or

2) She's inspired by him (which is the good one :| ).

sorry bhai sahib ਭਜਨਪ੍ਰੀਤ ਸਿੰਘ jiyo your right i'm wrong

but relationships outside marriage are rong they shud stay friends and get rid of any dodgy feelings

[KFI]

its all about intentions. BUT one should not indulge in a physical relationship - save soemthing for marriage!!

I think if a couple talk, hold hands and hug, thats fine... but kissing, touching, and other lustful activities are just not on and not something a GurSikh should be doing at all.

When you talk to someone, remember you are the Son of Guru Gobind Singh Jee. Dont talk dirty, look dirty or touchy dirty. Theres a lot of definitions to "flirting" and a lot of people do it (some without even realising it) but theres a line.

Inevitably, you will marry, and i wouldnt say "right, totally keep away from people of the opposite gender". I would say "in moderation, with good intentions and respectfully." Dont do stuff. And ESPECIALLY dont do "stuff" in public where you disrespect Sikhi saroop and our Father, Guru Gobind Singh Jee.

Forgive my mistakes.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ke Fateh.

What kind of a impression are you giving lost kids and teenagers who wonder and ask the question about gf/bf issues.

Go on kids, it's ok as a gursikh to hold hands with other girls and hug and talk.

We should look at other girls as our sisters, Can you hold hands of your sister and hug her in that dirty way?

you said "When you talk to someone, remember you are the Son of Guru Gobind Singh Jee."

Being Son of Guru Gobind Singh Jee, it is ok to do this?

Then a few lines after u said ". I would say "in moderation, with good intentions and respectfully." Dont do stuff. And ESPECIALLY dont do "stuff" in public where you disrespect Sikhi saroop and our Father, Guru Gobind Singh Jee."

Remember, controlling lustful intentions, and keeping away from 5 vikars is not to show others look at me i'm a good sikh i can control, it is deep in ourselves and we should improve ourselves not our or someone else's apperence. Holding hands, hugging and talking to girls before marriage even if it's in a 'hidden' environment is wrong and is harm to one's own sikhi, and sikhi as a whole.

Also, "Inevitably, you will marry,..."

What about realizing "this person is not for me, etc" If you already hugged and had a relationship with one person, then what more do you expect from that person in the future with other relationships? If one didn't work out maybe this one did, Oh theres no harm in hugging the girls, holding hands and talking to them.

As two peope come closer to one another, that does not create a fact that they will marry soon, many problems arise, many times marriages are called off.

Also these minor actions will eventually lead to more behaviour and then the ppl will regret it

Now you might say this guy's (ME) is totally against this, what can we do? I say It's ok to talk to girls, discuss sikhi, learn things from each other, but no physical relationship should be between the two, no touching, not even shaking hands with any bibi.

I know i focused on the three things he said about hugging, holding hands, talking but it is to make the point clear and bold that IT IS WRONG.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ke Fateh.

Khalistan Zindabad