Ladki Panjaban:(Movie showing SikhGirl-MuslimBoy)

[JSingh]

you guys are absolutely right. sikh guys ignore or do not talk to punjabi girls... well, this is the surface of the thing that the girl or the other ppl see. but this is isn't true. I will tell u my side. i have hard time approaching a girl or just saying hi or talk to her. i don't know i feel sooo uneasy and uncomfertable to even say hi to girls i don't know. and girls think i ignore them... but this is not true. I do want to talk to them and engage in converstaion and get to know them, but the thing is, i just can't make myself approach her. when i see a desi girl i start looking at her and start thinking and the girl passes by me... and this makes me look bad... girl thinks i am stupid who is keep looking at her, but she does not know that what is going on in my mind. i DO want to talk to them, but they don't understand. they see me from outside how i react, but they don 't try to see the reason behind this reaction. i am not shy or anything cuz i talk tooooo much with people I know, both girls and guys. But the thing is the girls i know and talk to, it took me years to make myself talk to them and say hi and stuff. now i don't feel any hesitation talking to them... its normal, but it takes me years to get to this point and by the time i make myself to talk, it is tooooo late.... so i don't know why this happens. I think our girls also need to understand that Sikh guy do not ignore them. its just the courage thing... but these muslims guys have evil intentions and they don't feel any hesitation and just jump to the girl and start talking... and our girls also need to understand that they need to stay away from these ppl and don't get into their tactic

s. i don't know if i make any sense.

[JSingh]

by Yuktanand Singh

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa!

Waheguru Ji Kee Fateh!

After critical self examination and feeling sad for this and many other girls, we need to learn how to prevent such behavior among the teens in general. Jasbir's message is important here.

Lack of self esteem is one main reason that many girls become vulnerable to just about anyone who gives them attention and praise. This is why it is important to hug and express love to your children in several ways, and be sure to complement them frequently, especially the girls. Find ways to build genuine self esteem so that your child is not living hungry for praise, and for love.

Sikh boys need to learn how to court a girl properly while not crossing the boundaries of decency and to learn what it is that women find attractive in some non Sikh men. For example, westerners and Muslims seem to know the importance of cultivating a deep voice. Most women unconsciously regard it as a sign of masculinity, even though they may not admit it.

If you notice, popular male movie stars will have a deep voice. I would not be surprised if some have undergone voice training. A deep male voice seems to stimulate certain nerves and hormones in the female body and sweeps immature teenage girls off their feet. Most boys in this hemisphere grow up naturally learning to talk in public with their deepest voice. Indians, on the other hand, are not raised to pay attention to the pitch and tone of their voice. As we know high pitch and convoluted tone are important characteristics of the comical Indian accent.

Body building, self confidence, and being comfortable among females, are some other qualities desirabl

e in eligible bachelors. I know, intellect and character are high up there, but then, why do so many teens run away with promiscuous, brutal and domineering males. It is the macho and romantic image projected during courtship, even though it could be short lived and may vanish soon after the girl is separated from her family.

Another major issue is that the Eastern thought is different from the Muslim and Christian faiths. The Muslim and Christian children can be safely raised believing that their messiah is the "only" person to follow, a certain book is the "only" word of God, and their religion is the "only" true religion (everyone else is bound for hell!) Their scriptures support it and thus, as they grow and mature in their understanding of their religion, a deeper study of their religion does not jeopardize their deep seated faith.

Sikh Panth, on the other hand, respects all prophets and all religions, as long as the people understand and follow the essence of their teaching. This creates a sense of ambivalence among those who are unable to comprehend this outlook. Children can grasp only extremely concrete concepts. For example, Sikh children will grow up thinking that our Gurus were the highest. But, even though it is the truth, it is easily refuted by those seeking to confuse them and to turn them astray. The Gurus themselves have said that they are lower than the lowest!

While in these other religions, one feels accomplished and "saved" immediately after making a commitment and by merely following certain routines, a Sikh is doomed to live in self doubt unless most of his activity is accompanied by remembrance of God and unless his life becomes a perpetual journey towards God. This is a tough act to follow for most because the masses are not inclined to live in dedication to God. To the masses, religion is simply a matter of merely having some entity available to answer their prayer in case of a need and to be responsible for their fate. When exposed to a continued assault fr

om these other faiths, many unprepared Sikh teens thus find themselves better adjusted and at peace by converting to the faith of their partner.

I am sure there are many other points to ponder but lastly, because it is a spiritual path, the Sikh masses have failed to learn it or to convey it to their offspring while, the spiritually inclined Sikhs tend to be self centered and often find it difficult to teach it to their children, until it is too late. For this reason, I have seen that some of the worst adjusted kids are raised in the fanatic, the so-called "spiritual" Sikh households. Of course, there are many wise parents who include their kids in age appropriate Sikh activities and we see their kids mature nicely. I know several such families. Their children sing Kirtan and do Ardas much better than I can.

We need to develop age appropriate activities and curriculum for the Sikh children, divided perhaps into preschooler, adolescent and, teen levels. Youth camps are a big step forward, however, we need to develop regular, weekly or biweekly youth activities involving games, interaction, prayer, learning and some charity work.

As long as we keep bombarding all age groups with the same Kirtan and Katha, we will have difficulty with our teens.

Yuktanand Singh

Saline, Michigan, USA

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