Help Me Now!

[Guest Guest Girl]

Mmmmmm where to start! I know this has been discussed like a million times in the past and I already read thru the old topics but didn't really find anything useful so come on ppl, help me out!

K my friend is amrit shakt and I'm not.

:lol::

Before she got amrishakt (few years ago) she used to get her sideburns and upper lips waxed or something and her eyebrows threaded since like forever.

Then she got amritshakt and stopped waxing and shaving and threading her brows and started walking the straigt and narrow u know?

:TH:

but lately its hard for her and she told me she thinks she's gonna go get lazer sergery now and she's had enough of this.

I'm between a rock and a hard place (don't knw what that really means?) but like I know it's hard for her b/c I see how ppl look at her and I know what they say about her like if we walking down a street ppl will stare and go is that a man or a woman? @ and this aunti from gurduara goes u know beti theres lazers now so its not like cutting ur hair and were like whaaat?! but i mean shes getting this message that she's not normal and stuff from all sides and I know it's hard for her u know? And before anyone starts on that line, ya she has no hormone probs so she is "normal" like that. I guess she just looks like that b/c its what god wanted or something?

Like i said, I'm not amrit shakt but I still know she's making a huge mistake if she gets the lazer stuff done and I try helping her and encouraging her but it's not really working b/c she always says "you don't know what it's like" and she's right

I gave her old articles and ppls opinions from this site when it was discussed int he past but she says things like most of those replies are guys who don't know what its like or its girls who aren't in that posistion themself or its "just a story like fiction". And she's right again!

I know theres girls who really are in that position out there but where are you?? Can one of them contact me or write something I can show my friend from someone "in that position" u know? This is really urgent b/c she's thinking of doing this over the holidays Please help me NOWW!

[Guest Guest - response]

I have a lot to say in response to this post, because having a lot of facial hair myself, I have been through many many stages (should I thread it, should I get electrolysis, should I …..the list goes on). For those who are reading this, just know that these words aren’t just something I think I should say to a girl who is having doubts about keeping her hair…this stuff is from personal experience. So here goes....

Why do we keep the hair on our head and body? First of all, it’s not ours to begin with, it belongs to Guru Sahib, just as our body belongs to Guru Sahib. We have been given this body to come into this world to do bhagti, and it is our responsibility to keep it healthy to be able to do that right? In that same way, the hair that we have on our body is also His gift. This is one thing that we all fail to understand, and it's really quite sad because there are many girls out there who won't take amrit because they don't want to stop removing their facial hair.

First, we must ask ourselves, WHY do we remove the hair on our face? Most likely, every girl knows inside her heart, whether u admit it or not, that the #1 reason you want to do it is for guys. Because you want guys to like you and think that ur good looking right? Girls, u need to realize that GUYS HAVE HAIR TOO...and if ur amrit dhari, chances are, ur gonna marry an amrit dhari guy. Most amrit dhari guys know that women have hair on their bodies, and understand that, and u know what? Most of them have a craaazyyy amount of respect for those girls who accept themselves as Guru Sahib has made them (I’m not saying they all do, but the majority do). So if you think that if you have facial hair, you won’t get a guy, you’re wrong. Because that has nothing to do with it. Trust me on this one. Go out yourself and ask them!!

In Gurbani (Ang 343, SGGS), Guru Sahib says “Rom rom Har basay muraar”. Translation? “On each and every hair, the Lord abides”. Most Sikhs believe that killing animals and eating them for the taste of your tongue is wrong. Why? It is commonly argued that God is in each animal, and it therefore cruel to kill the animal for your mind’s desires (many people would argue against that, but I’m just using it to make a point). The same way, God abides in EVERY SINGLE hair on our body. Every time you pluck, thread, wax (or whatever…) a hair on your body, it hurts right? That hair is alive. When you pull it out, you are killing it, just like cutting the throat of an animal. They both endure pain when you kill them.

Let me ask you a question. Would you ever chop your hand off just because you feel that it’s a nuisance? Unless you’re crazy, that answer would be a no. BUT if your hand does get cut off, will it grow back? We all know that that’s not going to happen, regardless of the fact that we use our hands every single day for so many things, and they are such a big part of our life. When we cut our hair, why does it keep growing back? It doesn’t matter if it’s the hair on your head, legs, arms, face…it will always grow back. Think about it…WHY? We might not know the answer just yet, but there must be a reason. Because if something as crucial as your hand will not grow back, imagine how important the hair MUST BE, because it always grows back…

We are always looking for ways to impress people. We want the world to accept us right? We want people to think we’re cool and we belong with them, and we don’t want to stand out in a ‘negative’ way, or so to speak. Who decides what’s negative? The media. We see women on tv and in magazines with completely hairless faces, and that, in turn, effects what society begins to believe as being ‘normal’. Isn’t “normal” how you’re created? So by removing hair, aren’t people becoming abnormal? And why are we following those ways? As Guru Sahib’s Singhnees and Singhs, we are taught to be different from the ways of the world.

You know what really gets me mad? Brown people. Since I have kept my hair (about 8 years or so), I have never ONCE been approached by a non-brown person about my facial hair. However, anties at the Gurdwara, and ESPECIALLY my own relatives, never fail to try to make me feel like crap about my facial hair. Honestly, man, you girls gotta stop listening to these brown women. They have always struggled to fit in with society, and if the accent doesn’t seem to give out, then the only other way they can really “fit in” is by trying to physically look like the majority of the population, which, of course, includes removing hair. I actually feel sorry for those people. For God’s sake, it’s the way you’ve been created…chill out!! The anty at the Gurudwara who told your friend to get her hair removed using laser…its not going to work. The hair WILL come back no matter how much they try to convince you that it won’t. Mostly, the hair grows back within a year, if not less. But for sure within a few years after getting it remove with laser, you will be kicking yourself, because you wasted so much money, and the hair still came back.

If you’re a Singh or Singhnee walking down the street, people stare at you. That’s a fact: if you look different from the majority of the population, you WILL be stared at, so get used to it. This world that we are living in is Guru Gobind Singh’s Kingdom!!! He’s the King of all Kings, and we should feel SO blessed to be His children. Now you tell me, if the heirs of the King of the World were walking down the street, would you not stop and take a second look? For us, instead of materialistic things being our decorations, we have our 5 Kakaars, and KES is the first and most important one of all. A Singh or Singhnee’s identity lies within their hair. Keeping your hair (everywhere) is the first sign of the acceptance of God’s creation. When you keep your hair, you are saying to the world, “This is how God made me, and this is the way I will remain”. Who do you have to please? No one but ur Guru. Instead of worrying about how much hair you have on ur face, you should be worried about getting up amrit vela and doing ur nitnem every day…you should be worried about the things you say to each person you come across every day, remembering to be humble and remembering to not hurt someone’s feelings even by mistake. Girls, (and guys) don’t think of your hair as a burden. Your hair is your identity. Without your hair, no one will know that you are a Sikh. Your hair is ur spiritual connection with Guru Sahib. Walk down the street and be proud, that you are showing the world the YOU that God has created. Walk down the street wearing your Kakaars with pride in your Guru, because you have nothing to be ashamed of!! You are part of Guru Gobind Singh’s army…you’re HIS daughters, and He is always with you.

[Singh With Dunalli]

HMMMMMMMMM...

I hope we can get women's perspective's from this forum.

[Revolutionary]

I am female.. and lemmi say some stuff..

Akaal Purakh Waheguru does everything for a reason right? Why do we have goosebumps? Cozz we get hyped on NAAAM :lol: and hair stand up vibrating with energy!!! Why lose this energy to impress peeeeepol.

I'm the hairiest person in my family.. used to get made fun of in secondary skool during PE... like SOO WAHHHH i dont run after society like everyone elseee!!!! We Rock!!

Be a warrior princess!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo

[lowest of the low singhni]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

Try showing this story to your friend:

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?showtopic=73&

Just ask her to read it, but don't force her into doing anything. At the end of the day it is her choice, and she will be individually judged by Dharamraj, as we all will be.

I have been in this position, so has my sister and i know others who are too.

This life is only a second of our existence - who knows how long we've travelled to get here; it could have been billions of years. This could be our only chance to be fall in love with Maharaj and be free from the life-cycle.

Your friend was lucky enough to have found Sikhi, she's capable of doing so much. we were sent here for a purpose - to follow the rehit laid down for us by Guru Gobind Singh Ji. So what if some women say that removing hair in certain ways is ok? Will they also say removing hair on our heads is ok too?

Kes is kes. There is no logic in saying it is ok to remove it from certain areas, but prohibited to remove it from others. The method of removal is irrelevant.

Nobody said following Sikhi was going to be easy, but she promised to follow it when she was in her mother's womb. People are people - they will always try to find an easy way out, even if it is illogical (or plain stupid).

We must decide whether to listen to "people" or whether to listen to Maharaj. Are the words of Guru Gobind Singh meaningless? remember the shaheeds, Bhai Taru Singh, whose faith was so strong that even OTHERS couldn't remove his kes when they tried. Instead they had to remove his entire scalp.

And we feel the need to remove our kes willingly :lol: . Maharaj's justice is fair. It is highly unlikely (impossible) that we will be let off lightly for submitting to the will of "people" instead of the eternal will of Akaal Purakh.

ਰੋਮ ਰੋਮ ਮਹਿ ਬਸਹਿ ਮੁਰਾਰਿ ॥

On each and every hair, the Lord abides.

In Gurbani there are plenty of quotes such as the one above - here is another example:

http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=1650

As "bhenji" Guru Ji's Sipahi said, each hair we have can be used to jap Naam. The more the better. The only thing is that not everybody remembers this, or even knows it. Don't fall for their ignorance and join it.

~l~

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

[kaur_khalistani_lioness]

This has boggled me for a long time as well cuz i know one of my friends who is amritshak but i think she wax her facil hair. i never said anything to her, cuz it's between her and Akal Purakh! im not sure how right i am on this(for not going up to her and saying "u shouldn’t be doing this")

she nevr asked me, nor do i have the right to judge her for what she does in her life!

anyhow

i am not expert in this, but i know another singhni(friend of mine also... ) but as far as i know she hasn't done anything. she looks soo pretty the way she is. i love her so much!!! Whenever i see her i see love for waheguru, she accepts the way he created her. To tell you the truth I feel threatened by people who are like that. Why? Because I see that they have more love for waheguru than me, they can see through me and see the shortcomings in my life. They are following the path with all they got without caring what others have to say, where as I can’t even do that. And that’s how some people feel and they will give you suggesting like u should get a lazar surgery done or something. She needs to be careful and think for a minute (Sehaj) about where the other person’s comments are coming from!

It’s your soul that has be to NIRMAL!

i feel like im goin no where with this, because i am in no situation to tell you what to do except tell your friend to go and ask punj piyarey. they can give her better perspective.

it is interesting how she wants a womnz perspective! usually what i have heard others say is...ah the guys dont think a girl with facl hair are pretty and all the other crazy stuff. i have had my share of people askin me if i wax, or shave...and why not? Im usually like ummm YOU TELL ME!(if itz one of appnay..but of course I say it in a nicer and joking way…lol)

People talk no matter what u do. if they dont see anything wrong with you in that sense(looks), then they start looking for other stufff...like if there is something wrong with the way you walk or talk or do things differently than anyone. We need to stop caring about others.

so she need to sit down and go back to the time when she took amrit, reflect on the feelings. think about the world that we are living in. read gurbani...for many days as possible during Holidays instead of doing what she is about to do. she needs to be around people who accept her the way she is! thats why guru sahib said be in sadhh sangat(who understand u and the things that you are doin...they understand the spiritual/divine reason behind things which a non-spiritual person can't) and please dont blame or think harshly of those who aren't on the path. they just aren't yet blessed to see things like a GURMUKH(KHALSA) would.

hair is part of who we are!

Gurbani will help her see things clearly....and the talk of "maya" will go away. its in her head, the things she has heard from people around her. we dwell on what people say to us. thats why we do simran and read gurbani everyday to let go of that duality, conflicts in our head and walk on the path.

seems like Guru Ji's Sipahi knows the feeling and has overcome it may be she could help more thn anyone else can! she knows more thn me and knows that its about your self not about others.

there is a quote i read from someone’s signature from this site or smoother site which goes something like this "either define your self or be defined" so it ends up being our choice. the right one is made with Guru sahibz grace!

again she(your friend) personaly need to meet a chardi kalla(spiritual) soul. it makes a huge differenced thn we just typing things here. it really isn’t the same!its about the presence of a person and their vibration(divine energy that flows through um)

if there isn’t anyone who is like that then sit with Guru sahib and listen to HIM(waheguru's sweet words/advice)

bhul chuk muaf karni

im sure someone else will be of a great help. These are jus my opinons ….so there 99.9% chance that I could be wrong(in rush have to meet my prof )

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

[Super_Singhni]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa,

Waheguru Je Ke Fateh.

Just need to say that I have THE hairiest hands, even hairy than most males that i know....

I see amritdhari girls who have plucked their eyebrows etc but I feel that at the end of the day its the individuals choice. Its personal and its a decision that only the person who experiences the stares etc can make.

Its about you being happy within yourself which also affects the strength of the connection with Waheguru.

P.s auntia at the Gurdwara, have no shame when it comes to telling others about things like hair, spots etc...it happens to the best of us!!

Just be Happy!!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa,

Waheguru Je Ke Fateh.

[Guest Guest]

naam abhiyaas. gurbani. kirtan.

ardaas.

[Guest >>A<<]

i have been in the position...however an inner voice constantly bugs me saying wat u wanna do is not right...i go with that.... i explain to my mind its not right... my guru will not be pleased... i'm here to please my guru nobody else.. if you constantly remind urself that then u will not worry about anyfin in the world...nothing will bother you...bhenji u should tell you friend that you have made a commitment to guru ji that you will keep away from these kind of things...laser removal is basically cheating your guru. i know people who hav had laser surgery before taking amrit but really who are u trying to fool? you may get away with it from people but guru ji knows everything. whenver i have a thought which i know is not right i say this shabad to myself...its really a slap on the face

man moorrae dhaekh rehiou prabh suaamee ||

O foolish mind, God, your Lord and Master is watching over you.

jo kishh karehi soee soee jaanai rehai n kashhooai shhaanee || rehaao ||

Whatever you do, He knows; nothing can remain concealed from Him.

[Guest Guest]

K thanks for all these replys guys! Keep them coming plz!

Super_Singhni I showed my friend ur post and she goes "hands are different from a face b/c u can wear long sleeves with the cuff covering ur hand but u can't cover ur hole face and ppl look u in the face first not ur hands u know?"

lowest of the low singhni I showed her that story before already and she goes its just a fiction story not real life.

Can we get ALL u girls to reply please? I think every girl should have some thing to add to this topic no? PLEASE PLEASE help!