I Don't Wanna Marry This Guy.

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

hmm ye i'd like to know to.....why dont you want to marry him, do you know him well?

[Guest *]

If you've got the feeling that you don't want to marry him, don't. Go with your gut instincts. You shouldn't be forced into it or feel compelled for any other reason. You have a voice and a choice in this matter -- exercise it.

Taking laavan before Guru Sahib and committing yourself to another person through the process of Anand Karaj is a big step, one that will bind you for the rest of your life. You should be able to give equally in the relationship. If you go in with reservations, you could live to regret it deeply as it would have destructive effects on the marriage. You would likely end up resenting him and would constantly think "I shouldn't have married you", which would be hurtful to him, to say the least, because even if you don't SAY it to him, he'll probably feel it nontheless.

So what should you do?

As others have suggested, talk to your parents and be honest. They want what is best for you, so they should be receptive to your thoughts on this. They can handle the situation accordingly, in the best interests of your family and his.

I'd advise not to speak with the guy directly yourself. If you're not going to marry him, it would probably be better to not personally involve yourself with him any longer in regards to this matter.

So, first, take the lead in speaking up. Then take a backseat in terms of handling the outcome.

[Guest -joker-]

No i don't knw him, havent even talked to him. that is the reason i am scared. but the gursikh way is, parents find a match for you and you marry them. but is it right? i have my concerns.

Is talkin to someone first and than asking your parents to approach the person's parents a good idea? because sikhi says we shouldn't have feelings for someone before marriage or whatever.

helppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

[Guest Papi]

if you dont know him then how can you say yes or no :D

we are not living in 1800's anymore, i think kids should have a say in marraige :TH: as well as parents :D

[jasmeet86]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

penji, i think u should still speak to your parents n meet him before u decide anythin.You may tell ur parents that u will only decide or agree if you are given a chance to meet and know him for a certian period of time..if after knowing him u agree then its good n u will be agreeing because u know him..but if its still a NO then i think penji's parents should respect this..n if penji's parents do not give up..then penji can even speak to the guy..n im sure he will understand as he already knows you..n im sure he will also respect penji for standing up for penji's good

waheguru ji ka khalsa

waheguru ji ki fateh

[Bored]

well obiously u shud get to kno wat the dudes like

u cud be letting a 'singh charming' out of ur grip!

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

I wonder.....Could you have someone else in mind.. ???B4 ppl go crazy, I m not suggesting that this is right or wrong, Im just wondering if this is the reason she feels this way...

[Ramneet Singh]

HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz has a veryy goood pointttt, well is there ?? huh ? huh ? huh ? and yeah i think nowadays marriages r a bit diff, but seems ur rents r still pretty traditionall plus ur a gurl so....... ouch. My mom had this wacky idea about like goin on a small outing with this guy with a third person to make sure nothing went to outa hand or sumthing maybe u can try sumthing like that to get to know him and might realzie hes a gud match

[Ramneet Singh]

wops

[Guest Papi]

I wonder.....Could you have someone else in mind.. ???B4 ppl go crazy, I m not suggesting that this is right or wrong, Im just wondering if this is the reason she feels this way...