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Im So Messed Up


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i need to realy realy talk about summat,

i posted the whole story on Saturday but it di not come on the forum, im not sure what i di wrong but i realy realy need to get this off my chest, i feel like dying.......

im posting this to see if it actually apeears in forum, if iot does ill continue, cos it realy hard to keep typing what i about to say and then it all deleting

bhul chuk maaf

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That the thing.......i realy do try...............and listen and sometimes i think mahaj jee does guide me and he has always been there for me but it ME, I ALWAYS MESS THINGS UP.

I have never ever spoke to anyone about this cos it is so shameful and i feel totally disgusted with myself. i decided to take this step cos im hope it will shock me in realising how im even worse than a manmukh, there isnt a name to describe what i am.

howefer im worried about the younger members who read this forum as this is realy bad, but maraj laways says in his bani that you should go to the company of the saad sangant, and maybe there i will find the peace that i yearn for.

am i ok to continue...........? but please dont judge me on what i am about to say so i know how messed it i realy am, i only have one sister shes 11 year younger than me so i have never been able to talk about what happend to me......to anyone

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That the thing.......i realy do try...............and listen and sometimes i think mahaj jee does guide me and he has always been there for me but it ME, I ALWAYS MESS THINGS UP.

I have never ever spoke to anyone about this cos it is so shameful and i feel totally disgusted with myself. i decided to take this step cos im hope it will shock me in realising how im even worse than a manmukh, there isnt a name to describe what i am.

howefer im worried about the younger members who read this forum as this is realy bad, but maraj laways says in his bani that you should go to the company of the saad sangant, and maybe there i will find the peace that i yearn for.

am i ok to continue...........? but please dont judge me on what i am about to say so i know how messed it i realy am, i only have one sister shes 11 year younger than me so i have never been able to talk about what happend to me......to anyone

penji/paaji.

if its tht bad, then yeh u shud consider the younger readers. maybe it would be best for you to PM someone.

you havent stated wether you are a penji or a paaji tho.

We are all here to try and help.

take care

gurfateh

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i need to realy realy talk about summat,

i posted the whole story on Saturday but it di not come on the forum, im not sure what i di wrong but i realy realy need to get this off my chest, i feel like dying.......

im posting this to see if it actually apeears in forum, if iot does ill continue, cos it realy hard to keep typing what i about to say and then it all deleting

bhul chuk maaf

IK ONG KAR SATGUR PARSAD!!

Friend,

Try posting your story again!!

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That the thing.......i realy do try...............and listen and sometimes i think mahaj jee does guide me and he has always been there for me but it ME, I ALWAYS MESS THINGS UP.

I have never ever spoke to anyone about this cos it is so shameful and i feel totally disgusted with myself. i decided to take this step cos im hope it will shock me in realising how im even worse than a manmukh, there isnt a name to describe what i am.

howefer im worried about the younger members who read this forum as this is realy bad, but maraj laways says in his bani that you should go to the company of the saad sangant, and maybe there i will find the peace that i yearn for.

am i ok to continue...........? but please dont judge me on what i am about to say so i know how messed it i realy am, i only have one sister shes 11 year younger than me so i have never been able to talk about what happend to me......to anyone

what happened to you, is it serious?

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