Jokes And Riddles

[Guest singhnee2k7]

Where's The Mail?

A blonde goes out of her house and checks her mailbox. Seeing nothing, she

closes the mailbox and goes back into her house. A little while later, she

comes back out of her house and once again checks for mail, sees nothing,

closes the mailbox and goes back in her house. Another little while later,

she comes back out and does it again.

Her neighbor had noticed this and asked her.....Honey...you must be waiting

for a very important letter.

The blondes replies......No, I'm working on my computer and it keeps beeping

at me, saying "You've Got Mail."

:umm:

[۹βkaur۹β]

^^^

[Guest jap naam]

Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in the Hindi version of...

Khidkiyan97:

Phaail = File

Bachao = Save

Aise Bachao = Save as

Subko Bachao = Save All

Mujhe Bachao = Help

Dhoondo = Find

Firse Dhoondo = Find Again

Hilao = Move

Daak = Mail

Daakiya = Mailer

Paas se dhekho = Zoom

Duur se dhekho = Zoom Out

Kholo = Open

Bandh Karo = Close

Naya = New

Khatara = Old

Badli Karo = Replace

Bhaago = Run

Chhaapo = Print

Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview

Kaapi = Copy

Kaato = Cut

Kato = Stupid Houseguest

Chipkao = Paste

Payshul Chipkao = Paste Special

Goli Maaro = Delete

Nazaara = View

Hathiyaar = Tools

Hathiyaar Khambha = Toolbar

Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet

Iska Bhi Naam Nahin Aata = Database

Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit

Ped = Tree

Thooso = Compress

Chooha = mouse

Tik-Tik Karo = Click

Idhar-se-Udhar.Udhar-se-Idhar = Scrollbar

Cheers !

[Guest jap naam]

Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!"

So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked.

The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India!"

The the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American.

"Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly.

Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American.

"What is it?" asked the American.

"Sweet of India!" replied the old man.

After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud "Pooooooooot!" from the uncle.

"What was that?" asked the American in disgust.

The old man replied coolly, "That's Air India!"

[Guest jap naam]

Top 10 Filmi dialogs

10. Kuttay, Kameenay mai tumhe jaan se maar doonga

9. Mai tumhara ehasaan zindagi bhar nahin bhuloonga

8. Itnay paisay tum kahan se laaye?

7. Main tumharay bina mar jaa-oongi.

6. Bacchhhaaaaaooooo.....

5. Yeh anyay hai bhagwan

4. Bataoo, heeray kahan hai.

3. Tum may-re liye mar chuke ho.

2. Police meeray peechay lagi hui hai.

----> And the number one statement is .....

1. Mai tumharay bachhe ki maa ban-nay waali hoon.

[Mutheeaa]

[Guest jap naam]

Love Life & Indian Advertisement Lines

Want to propose a girl

Just do it - Nike

Before going to propose to a girl

Believe in the best - BPL.

If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl

Vicks ki goli lo kich kich door karo - Vicks.

If you are going to propose to a girl

Chances are 50-50 - Britannia.

If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her

Take it easy - Limca.

Girl says NO !

Jor ka jhatka dhire se lage - Mirinda.

Those who succeed in love always say

We dream because we do - Daewoo.

If some one wants to write a love letter to his girlfriend

Likho script apna apna.- Rotomac.

If you love someone

Go get it - Visa power.

Boy riding a bike with neighbor's girl

Neighbors envy owner's pride - Onida.

Not satisfied with your date

Yeh dil mangey more - Pepsi.

A guy having a number of girl friends

The Complete Man - Raymonds.

A smart girl having a number of boyfriends

Yeh hai hamara suraksha chakra - Colgate.

For those lost in love

Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera - Bagpiper Whisky.

For a guy 'r gal who hasn't yet found one

Dhoondte rehe jayo ge - Surf Exel

:umm:

[Guest Akirtghan]

^^ ur hindi is surprisingly good, i reckon u watch too many hindi movies

[guptveer1469]

Top 10 Filmi dialogs

1. Main tumse pyar karti hoon..

2. Main tumhare bache ki maa bannewali hoon...

3. Kanoon Ke haath bohat lambe hote hain...

4. Kuttay, Kameenay mai tujhe jaan se maar doonga...

5. Tazeerat-e-hind , dafa 302 ke tahat, mulzim ko saza-e-maut sunai jaati hai...

6. Hato naa, log kiya kahengay...

7. Mein yeh shaadi nahin hone doongi.

8. Is desh ko tumpe naaz hai bete..

9. Tum hamare police department ke sab se kabil police afsar (officer) ho.

10. Driver, gaadi roko!

[Guest jap naam]

sooooooo.......... bored

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

Coroner tells the Inspector: "First body: A Frenchman, 72, died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile."

"Second body: "Irishman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Danny Earl, the Redneck from West Virginia, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

"Thought he was having his picture taken

:umm: