My Approach To The Parents Of A Sikh Girl

[JSingh]

Follwoing is a question and reply from Sikhnet Youth Forum. I liked the reply but the person who replied does not know that Sikhs cannot marry non-sikhs. The sentence in bold is misleading which would put a doubt in every reader's mind. There is plenty of historical evidence in rehatnamas that sikh di roti beti di sanjh sikh naal and in Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji's 52 Bachan that a Sikh can marry only with a Sikh. We need to prepare an email that we can send to sikhnet to request them to be more careful while replying to posts like these. Please read the following post and pay attention to the sentence in bold:

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Hello,

I am a young Muslim man that has been in a relationship with a Sikh girl. The relationship is everything I could've ever asked for and she is perfect in so many ways. A big part of what has drawn me to her stems from the values and virtues instilled to her by her faith and her parents. However at this point we have reached a situation where we must decide what to do with our relationship as her parents have no desire to even entertain the idea of a Muslim boy with their daughter. I am aware of the hatred that exists yet I fail to understand how I can be held accountable. Growing up as a Muslim we learnt many things about morality and oddly enough it was the teachings of Guru Nanak that we used to study at my mosque. His vision and devotion to humankind were as beautiful as any and though I am a devout Muslim I consider myself a great follower of his teachings. This hatred for Muslims that her family has can be justified nowhere in Guru Nanak's example and I'm finding it hard to understand how to approach her family wi

th my desire to spend my life making their daughter happy. She is fearful of their reaction and I'm not sure what the best way is to speak to them other then from the heart. She has assured me that this will be no use so I suppose I am asking for your help to guide me in understanding the situation better and then devising a method for demonstrating my worth for their daughter.

I would appreciate any help you could offer on this subject. Thank you.

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REPLY

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Sat Siri Akaal. You are correct that there is nothing in Nanak's teachings that supports hatred of Muslims. Others reading this will disagree, but Siri Guru Granth Sahib includes the poetry of Shayk Fareed and Bhagat Kabeer, both Indian Muslims. If Nanak hated Muslims, he would hardly have bothered to collect their inspired poetry.

It could be her parents suffered directly at the hands of Muslims, perhaps during Partition.... For many Sikhs, our history with the tyrannical Mughals is enough to say never and no way to marriage with Muslims. There is also an understandable belief that a Sikh should marry a Sikh. Some are very fanatic about this. Even if you were willing to convert (have you considered this...? not my recommendation, just a thought), the fact that you are born as and raised Muslim works against you.

It sounds like you are trying to approach this with understanding and an open mind, but be aware that your relationship goes against all expectations her parents have of their daughter's life. There is a level at which this is parents running the lives of their children long after they are old enough to make their own decisions. But that's a tradition not easily broken.

I think that you both have nothing to lose by attempting to win their approval for your relationship. But I also pray that you be realistic that your girlfriend probably does not feel she could possibly go against her parents wishes and still keep her parents. You must also be realistic that they will worry t

oo much about their agenda and how it looks in the eyes of extended family and community and simply not consider or approve her marriage to a Muslim. What I am saying is you may have to end the relationship. I have no other advice I can give you about winning their approval, other than to be yourself, act honestly, don't try to pretend to be something you are not. Keep your wits about you and perhaps don't be afraid to ask them where it is written in Sikh scripture that a Sikh cannot marry a Muslim.

Pray daily for guidance and strength. Good luck. God bless you,

-DKK

http://www.sikhnet.com/sikhnet/youth.nsf/3...re,dkk,marriage

[mann_kaum_layee_qurbaan]

well show them the rehit maryada....and i wonder if he plans on converting her to islam, a sikh only bows before Guru Granth Sahib, would he handle her rejecting the Quran? Would he tolerate her Sikhi, no, the answeris no, Sikhi preaches respect for all faiths but that does not mean Sikhs can worship at every place of worship, A sikh's place is in Guru Ji's charan. people sometimes confuse Sikhi's tolerance of other faiths, yes we tolerate and respect all faiths, but you won't see a true sikh of the Guru at a mosque or at a mandir, a sikh is attched to Guru Granth Sahib ji maharaj, the eternal shabad guru of the sikhs. i think this muslim guy needs to understand sikhi first, then the answer will come to him, this is all a waste of time becuase i have a feeling this is more of a punjabi thing tham a sikh thing, AS USUAL.

[JSingh]

we love all and consider all ppl of God, but it does not mean we start marrying with non-sikhs. imagine if all sikhs started marrying with non-sikhs, one day sikhi would disappear. and as far as islam is concerned, there is zameen asman da farak in sikhi and islam. that dude needs to understand this. and one more thing, it is our fault, punjabi's fault who don't teach their kids anything about sikhi. muslims have closed societies, but we are all scattered around. we need 'youth-unity' everywhere, in schools, towns, in homes and outside homes so that our ppl would think before doing something stupid.

bhul chuk di khima...

[Guest balwinderkaur]

i dont like that sentence in bold....its very misleading...its commonsense to know that in sikhee, a sikh is only supposed to marry a sikh....unless that muslim guy wanna convert to sikhee....which as always, is impossible cuz these muslims neva convert.

[Guest SikhForLife]

argh i ve stopped going to sikhnet youth forum for that reason.. and i dont like the way DKK runs things around there..

[Guest balwinderkaur]

*sigh* now thats sad.

[S1ngh]

fake post.. believe me.. they are lot fakeys out there :T:

[Balait_da_Sher]

fake post.. believe me.. they are lot fakeys out there :T:

I have to agree with this, stuff about Guru Nanak dev ji's teaching in the mosque doesnt seem ture. But thats not the point is it, even if it was true , the Reply from teh sikhnet should have been better.

[Saihajleen Kaur Khalsa]

Sikhnet should not post things like this. Muslims believe Mohammad was the SEAL of all Prophets, how will he respect Sikhism believing this? How will he allow her to practise Sikhi? Will their children be circumcised? It's ridiculous, no way this can happen. Or Sikhi will be lost. I cannot believe this was allowed on Sikhnet, what are these people trying to do? Next, other girls will follow this example and so on. He cannot marry a SIKH, only a Muslim or a woman of the Book (Christian or Jew, as long as she is chaste). Why cant we be as strict as them in this?!

Ridiculous. IF he believes in Guru Ji, then he should convert, end of story. The woman always has to compromise, what a joke.

[JSingh]

people use religion to server their selfish motives. If a girl wants to marry a muslim, she will say stuff like everybody is equal, our gurus made no distinction, we are all one, and the list is endless. if a guy wants to marry a muslim girl, he will say similar things. But we have to notice one thing and that is muslims use our shoulders to shoot us. They use our religion and say similar things like sikhism spreads equality, guru nanak had a very close muslim friend, baba farid's bani is in Guru Granth, etc. etc. in order to marry a sikh girl and they will brain wash our girls by saying these kind of things. We need CLOSED SOCIETY where we are free only under our boundaries and limits. Under any circumstances, a Sikh can NEVER marry a non-sikh, and if he/she does, then that person is no longer a Sikh. We need to unite and as far as sikhnet replies are concerned, lets write an email with historical evidence, and reasons why a sikh should never marry a non-sikh and sign that email by all the members here who agree and send it to them. what u guys think????