Talking

[rupinder singh]

Singhs should start doing Peradhar seva at weekend diwans in full Baana and Shaaster and enforce certain disciplines such as no talking in the Darbar Sahib, having heads covered at all times in the Gurdwara Sahib, not to wear caps or hoods in the Gurdwara Sahib etc..

We need to go back to puratan Maryada, a lot of our elders have flopped it but lets be the change we wanna see.

Enforcing marayada is a dangerous thing to think about let alone implement. Is there a benefit from people sitting in fear of the Peradhar in the Gurdwara? Will the avasta of the Sangat increase if they are forced to comply?

Adopt rigid rules, explain them to the sangat and inspire them to follow those rules instead of enforcing them. Isn't that the Sikh way??

[Guest peacemaker]

I don't agree with being so hard on the little kids. They will come into their own with time.

[AAA]

My son was running between me and his dad once (he was 18 moths old). This wouldn't have been a problem if we weren't made to sit separatley BTW.

I was asked to leave. My husband wasn't asked to leave but i was with my son.

So, I went outside the corridoor to wait for my husband. Stood ther for about two minutes before I was shooed away from there too by the sevadaars.

I left feeling completley unwelcome in my own Guru's house, so I hope all the sevadaars were well proud of themselves.

Kids are the future of Sikhi and when we give them the impression that they are not welcome, then we can't complain when the mosques and churches welcome them with open arms in the future. It is not their fault that they don't understand all that is being said and preached. When the parents don't bother to bring the kids at all, then many of you complain about that too.

As for being irratated by adults who are talking and gossipping, grow some balls and tell them to be quiet. What can they possibly say back to you?

AAA

[Mista Singh]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Rupinder Singh Sahib Ji,

"Adopt rigid rules, explain them to the sangat and inspire them to follow those rules instead of enforcing them. Isn't that the Sikh way?? "

This i agree with 100% but i believe after the parchaar has been done to try and inspire the Sangat we still need Peradhars to uphold these disciplines. Parchaar and upholding the disciplines should go hand in hand. Just my humble opinion.

Bhull Chuk Maarf Kaarni

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[UKGupt Kaur]

Cant blame the kids. Its the adults that need to be taught first. Darbar sahib is not a social center for unnecessary chitter chatter. Why dont the adults know this?

[rupinder singh]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Rupinder Singh Sahib Ji,

"Adopt rigid rules, explain them to the sangat and inspire them to follow those rules instead of enforcing them. Isn't that the Sikh way?? "

This i agree with 100% but i believe after the parchaar has been done to try and inspire the Sangat we still need Peradhars to uphold these disciplines. Parchaar and upholding the disciplines should go hand in hand. Just my humble opinion.

Bhull Chuk Maarf Kaarni

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I think the term "uphold" is far better than "enforce".

Also AAA made some valid comments. Being a father of 2 screaming toddlers, I know how difficult it is within the Gurdwara to ensure these little children act responsibly, maturely and make as little disturbance as possible. But it's not easy and sometimes being a visable amritdhari parent, people have the assumption that our kids (a 14 month old and a 2.5 year old) will sit in samadhi with their eyes shut listening attentively to kirtan/katha. Truth is they don't have the understanding, attention, focus or concentration at that age to fully be aware of their surroundings. The only way it will improve is constant interaction with the sangat and sitting in the company of the Sangat. Please don't judge a childs behaviour and assume they should be removed from the sangat, remember you were also a screaming child and you could have been denied darshan of Maharaj too.

[Mista Singh]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Rupinder Singh veerji, personally i dont think we can do much about the kids as they are just kids and like you said it will take time for them to develop the understanding of how to act in the Gurdwara Sahib.

The problem we need to resolve is of the Sangat above a certain age who talk in the Darbar Sahib and dont understand or respect where they actually are.

I may have not been clear on my view in previous posts.

Bhul Chuk Maarf Kaarni..

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[malkeet]

i honestly think people dont realise that it is disrespectful to guruji to speak in the darbar sahib.im not sure who is to blame, all that we can do is try to encourage people around us to keep quiet and not be afraid to stop people from speaking

but i suppose ive also started thinking that we shouldnt allow stages for speeches either

also, another thing i find really disrespectful is that after an anand karaj ceremony,when every1 cues up to give the boy and girl some money and have a picture taken, people are standing gossipping and everyone seems to forget that guruji is still present. i think the gyanis should encourage people to stand quietly

[Guest peacemaker]

Hmm, with all this filth being picked up, seems like it would better to not even go. At least then you don't have to witness any of it. You don't need 300 people in a nice building with a stage to make a Gurdwara. Just remember that.

[Matheen]

Parents are WAY softer these days. Back in my day, we were alot better behaved in Gurdwaras. If my mum/dad didn't 'sort' me, someone from sangat would, without fear of being sued. It was like one big family.

In countries where parents still use 'old' ways of controlling their kids, sangat is much quieter. I heard a tape of Sant Isher Singh Ji Rarewaley where they say that if a child breaks someones Samaadhi in Sangat, the paap all goes to the parents. Kids don't know better. The parents do, and should take responsibilty.

As for the grown ups who make noise in the Darbar Sahib, ask them if they would behave the same if they could physically see Guru Sahib sitting there. It often does the trick. Therein lies the answer to all disrespectful behaviour infront of Guru Sahib - as Gurbani says, "Lokun Ram Khilona Janaa".