Talking

[D Kaur]

If also find it disrespectful for people to think that there own 'pyar and sagan' is more beneficial than the saropa that the married couple have just been given, and the lavan that they have just taken in front of Vaheguru...

also, another thing i find really disrespectful is that after an anand karaj ceremony,when every1 cues up to give the boy and girl some money and have a picture taken

I was once told that back in the day they never used to have the brothers assisting the bride with the lavan, as the marriage was between the wife and husband and there only sehara (help) was Vaheguru so what use was it in the brothers walking there sister around.

As times have gone on, we all seem to have followed with the trend... dont know how that happend??? Or what is correct??

I'm gone completely of topic now... Sorry!

[rupinder singh]

Parents are WAY softer these days. Back in my day, we were alot better behaved in Gurdwaras. If my mum/dad didn't 'sort' me, someone from sangat would, without fear of being sued. It was like one big family.

In countries where parents still use 'old' ways of controlling their kids, sangat is much quieter. I heard a tape of Sant Isher Singh Ji Rarewaley where they say that if a child breaks someones Samaadhi in Sangat, the paap all goes to the parents. Kids don't know better. The parents do, and should take responsibilty.

As for the grown ups who make noise in the Darbar Sahib, ask them if they would behave the same if they could physically see Guru Sahib sitting there. It often does the trick. Therein lies the answer to all disrespectful behaviour infront of Guru Sahib - as Gurbani says, "Lokun Ram Khilona Janaa".

With all due respect, people who think disciplining a child is by giving a good “sort” out, I’d like to see if they are willing physically “sort” out their own small child when they become a parent. Do you really think a good sort out is the answer to everything, we might as well “beat” the respect into the child! Jin Prem Kiyo Tin Hi Prabh Piyo. It’s a relationship of love not fear or guilt. You can’t force or beat someone to love.

When you become a parent you'll see things very differently.

[Akaal Purakh Di Fauj]

Parents are WAY softer these days. Back in my day, we were alot better behaved in Gurdwaras. If my mum/dad didn't 'sort' me, someone from sangat would, without fear of being sued. It was like one big family.

In countries where parents still use 'old' ways of controlling their kids, sangat is much quieter. I heard a tape of Sant Isher Singh Ji Rarewaley where they say that if a child breaks someones Samaadhi in Sangat, the paap all goes to the parents. Kids don't know better. The parents do, and should take responsibilty.

As for the grown ups who make noise in the Darbar Sahib, ask them if they would behave the same if they could physically see Guru Sahib sitting there. It often does the trick. Therein lies the answer to all disrespectful behaviour infront of Guru Sahib - as Gurbani says, "Lokun Ram Khilona Janaa".

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Great Post!

The other week when people were talking at the Gurudwara Sahib the Gyani Ji began to tell a story of a person who used to speak while Satguru Sri Guru Raam Das Ji Maharaj was holding his darbaar. A Gursikh who was mediating on the holy feet of Satguru Ji was disturbed and told the person who was talking to stop talking. Despite this the person continued. The Gursikh then thought that if the person likes talking in this life he will also like doing it in his next janams. Years later when Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaj turned himself into Satguru Sri Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji he told one of his Sikhs to climb up a tree and to pick a little bird out of the nest. Maharaj then gave this bird mukhi as although they had talked and talked in his darbaar they had also spent time in the company of Gursikhs.

This is a brief summary of the sakhi. Gyani Ji also spoke graphically about the punishment and the difficulties which awaited those who spoke in the darbaar of Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaj which immediately made all the people who were talking shut up.

Obviously children will be children but parents should really take their kids out of darbar sahib when this happens and speak to/sort them. More often than not I find adults just watching children running up and down thinking that’s its cute.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[rupinder singh]

Obviously children will be children but parents should really take their kids out of darbar sahib when this happens and speak to/sort them. More often than not I find adults just watching children running up and down thinking that’s its cute.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

OK Gurmukho! As responsible parents we should remove our children from the darbar sahib when it get's to that situation. I just want to get the point across that don't get too extreme with this attitude where we start hindering our children from observing and interacting with the sangat. They are the Sikhs of tomorrow and we need to nourish and nurture them to feel a part of the Gurdwara environment and not end up feeling cut-off.

[sitargirl]

I think its all about knowing how you should behave. The first people to be blamed are the adults since they teach the children. So actually adults are the ones who should switch mobiles off and sit in darbar properly.

When I was little I was told how to behave in a darbar. I remember wanting to walk around the stage like the other little kids. But my mum told me that I should sit next to her and not move as we had come to see maharaj..I used to go punjabi class and most kids would go langar hall and I saw all my friends in the langar hall however my mum did not allow me to go out until diwan finished.

The difference now a days is children are not being taught which place they can meet sangat. In darbar we are not there to socialise...we are there to connect...socialising etc can be done outside.

The thing is my mum explained. Even though at the time I complained loads like how my legs were tired, how I did not understand or how other people were not doing it. My mum instead ignored all that and decided to teach me how to sit, how to fold my legs, where to put my hands, my head, eyes closed etc. Even in ardas she taught me the right way to stand. The amount of adults I see doing ardas in the wrong pose still amazes me today....

Anyways when I was little we used to be the last people to leave we stayed all the way till SGGS ji was put to bed. Langar hall would be empty by this point, sometimes no one to serve.....looking back it was this disipline which made me a sikh. When i first went gurdwara I did not understand what they said as they speak a different style of punjabi.

Being told a discipline of you must sit and stay till end made me listen, which then made me understand....its like how some people can understand hindi from watching lots of bollywood films. Likewise from repeated regular watching and listening I began to understand katha and my mum made it into a game cos on they way home she would ask me to tell her the katha....but this all happened very slowly and only due to the intial discipline.

I therefore do think parents should encourage their children to be the better one who sits. Its just like how parents encourage children to go school. When children go nursey they tend to cry alot. No parent considers that forcing or being strict likewise the same applies for diwan...knowing how to behave in darbar means you learn more and become a better sikh...just like how each parent will tell their child off when they are not doing well at school.

The last thing...classroom = to learn from our teacher. Darbar = to learn from our guru. Outside of school = to play, Outside of gurdwara = to play. I feel the crux of the matter is our attitude and understanding of darbar. We learn from childhood how to behave in a classroom, meeting etc....darbar is no different.

[rupinder singh]

I think its all about knowing how you should behave. The first people to be blamed are the adults since they teach the children. So actually adults are the ones who should switch mobiles off and sit in darbar properly.

When I was little I was told how to behave in a darbar. I remember wanting to walk around the stage like the other little kids. But my mum told me that I should sit next to her and not move as we had come to see maharaj..I used to go punjabi class and most kids would go langar hall and I saw all my friends in the langar hall however my mum did not allow me to go out until diwan finished.

The difference now a days is children are not being taught which place they can meet sangat. In darbar we are not there to socialise...we are there to connect...socialising etc can be done outside.

The thing is my mum explained. Even though at the time I complained loads like how my legs were tired, how I did not understand or how other people were not doing it. My mum instead ignored all that and decided to teach me how to sit, how to fold my legs, where to put my hands, my head, eyes closed etc. Even in ardas she taught me the right way to stand. The amount of adults I see doing ardas in the wrong pose still amazes me today....

Anyways when I was little we used to be the last people to leave we stayed all the way till SGGS ji was put to bed. Langar hall would be empty by this point, sometimes no one to serve.....looking back it was this disipline which made me a sikh. When i first went gurdwara I did not understand what they said as they speak a different style of punjabi.

Being told a discipline of you must sit and stay till end made me listen, which then made me understand....its like how some people can understand hindi from watching lots of bollywood films. Likewise from repeated regular watching and listening I began to understand katha and my mum made it into a game cos on they way home she would ask me to tell her the katha....but this all happened very slowly and only due to the intial discipline.

I therefore do think parents should encourage their children to be the better one who sits. Its just like how parents encourage children to go school. When children go nursey they tend to cry alot. No parent considers that forcing or being strict likewise the same applies for diwan...knowing how to behave in darbar means you learn more and become a better sikh...just like how each parent will tell their child off when they are not doing well at school.

The last thing...classroom = to learn from our teacher. Darbar = to learn from our guru. Outside of school = to play, Outside of gurdwara = to play. I feel the crux of the matter is our attitude and understanding of darbar. We learn from childhood how to behave in a classroom, meeting etc....darbar is no different.

Great post. Thank you.

[malkeet]

If also find it disrespectful for people to think that there own 'pyar and sagan' is more beneficial than the saropa that the married couple have just been given, and the lavan that they have just taken in front of Vaheguru...

also, another thing i find really disrespectful is that after an anand karaj ceremony,when every1 cues up to give the boy and girl some money and have a picture taken

I was once told that back in the day they never used to have the brothers assisting the bride with the lavan, as the marriage was between the wife and husband and there only sehara (help) was Vaheguru so what use was it in the brothers walking there sister around.

As times have gone on, we all seem to have followed with the trend... dont know how that happend??? Or what is correct??

I'm gone completely of topic now... Sorry!

wow i never knew about that. i have always thought the brother assisting sister seemed a bit like christian weddings where the father walks with the bride to the altar (i dunno just something ive thought)

it would be nice to know how different our weddings are compared to puratan times.

i find it fascinating how things have changed for sikhs in just 300 years. imagine how much other worldy religions which are 2000 odd years old have changed. really makes you think what the future will hold for sikhism

[_anon_]

dont go up to them with all guns blazing, be humble and speak kindly.

if that doesnt work, then ask them to leave.

'auntie jee, jeh tusee galaN karniaa, bahar ja kae karhu.'

[Anonymous_kaur]

wjkk..wjkf !!

i knw dis is a big issue i've cum across mani times..sangat talkin in da darbar sahib !!

i rember oldies talkin at da bk..nt payin attntion 2 da katha vachak...so finnalii da katha vachak annouces out loud n tellin em 2 keep quiet...

if it's buggin u den tell em 2 be quiet..in a polite manner tho !! lol..hpe dis mite helpp !!

[Guroo Guroo Jaap]

Rahhh i woz writin a reply for diz yday but my comp got messed up and i couldnt post it lol.

But OMGGGGG soooooooo damn annoyin!!!!!!! I alwayssss get ppl talkin near me!! And most of da time itz da "older generation" which iz quite funny coz they da 1s dat spose 2 know betta!! And we always get lil bratty kids running around!! And then they like, just stand there looking at me like "why has he got hair on his face!?!" lol den i look at da parents and they talkin themselves!! :glare: i actually remember diz 1 incident wer literally every1 woz talking and da Gyani actually stop Kirtan and sat there doing nothing and gave us a lecture on talking while Kirtan/Paat iz goin on. Funny how no1 would be talking during a concert hunna!?!

Saying dat, do u guys think its bad if u talking wen u listenin 2 Gurabani on da radio, or in da car or summin?? coz das anova thing!! every11 in da car cant seem 2 shup up for 5 minz!!!

But these guys will get whats cumin 2 em in da end....

sqsMg jwie kr ic~q fulwvY hir Xs sunqy bwq clwvY ]

sathasa(n)g jaae kar chth ddulaavai har yas sunathae baath chalaavai ||

Those who attend the Holy congregation but adopt evil thoughts and those who begin conversation instead of paying attention to the True Word are punishable.

swD sMgq gurSbd sux gurmuK pMQ n cwl clµdy] kpt snyhI Pl n lhMdy ]ó]

saadhh sa(n)gath gurashabadh sun guramukh pa(n)thh n chaal chala(n)dhae|| kapatt sanaehee fal n leha(n)dhae ||a||

They sit and pretend to listen to the Shabad when in the Holy Congretation but never adopt it in their life. Those who practice corruption never obtain the fruit of attending the Sangat.