Long Term Relationship

[xkaurx]

As I understand it bhaji just said he had HAD a physical relationship with the bibi in question, not that their relationship was BASED on this physical attraction. The fact that they've been together for almost 4 years is proof of the fact that there was a lot more.

However, as Sarab mentioned, I really think you ought to think about this relationship. I am no-one to judge, and don't know whats going in your or the bebehs brain at the moment, and can only imagine what you're going through. As I understand it, you've spoken to her about it, and expressed how you feel about this. There is nothing more you can do. You cannot force anyone to do as you want (although at times we wish we could...), and in the end of the day it's her life. I understand the way you're feeling about her wanting to "try out other men" and think you should think about your relationship, and accept the decision she makes. All you can do is talk to her, and hope for the best.

May Guru Ji help you through this tough phase of your life

i was talking about the girl wanting relationships with other men for experience therefore a relationship based on the physical side not with the original poster

[NIHANG_AK47]

go call a agony aunt. wat u posting crap like this on here for?

[Guest peacemaker]

Agree

[Guest Anonymous MSD]

I apologise to all who feel that such postings are inappropriate for the forum, but i felt there nowhere else to turn than to my community. I know part of you understands that.

Thank you to everyone who has offered their advice and support so far. It is much appreciated.

[Guest _Rigel_]

It is just fake topic.

The person wants to have some fun on posting such topic in sikhsangat.

We should not reply back as it is sole motive of posting.

These type of topics should be left as it is.

Think: Will anyone post such topic in sikhsangat, not get the feeling.

[Guest Almost Singh]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Singho/Singhnia this Bhai Sahib comes on SS to find help and ask for advice, he comes to Guru Sahibs Sangat, Akaal Purakh Ki Fauj and what do we do? we start judging and slandering..Vah Vah..

Apart from a few posters who gave good advice, the rest surprised me...I have judged people myself and it has only messed up my avasta and effected my Sikhi.

Humble benthi to my brothers and sisters, lets stop judging and look at ourselves first and then only speak the words which Dhan Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaj would want us to speak.

To some of us this may seem like "crap" but to this Bhai Sahib who has posted this topic it obviously is a serious matter. I agree his prem should be directed towards Maharaj and Akaal Purakh but for now he has prem for this bibi and he has come to the Sangat for advice. Everything works on Wahegurus hukum right? So Waheguru sent Bhai Sahib here for us to help him through this situation. Who knows this maybe his first step towards Sikhi.

Judgement is curse! We are no one to judge and we have not been put on this earth to judge, lets leave that to Dharam Raj!

To the OP, i suggest you take V Sahibs advice. Its hard but its best to let her go veerji, read Bani, do Simran, go Gurdwara Sahib and do any kind of seva which needs to be done, do Ardaas and have faith in Maharaj. If you do these things will full faith, I assure you, you will have no problem.

This Shabad is by Guru Nanak Dev Ji in Raag Aasaa on Pannaa 469

sloku mÚ 1 ]

salok ma 1 ||

Salok, First Mehla:

duKu dwrU suKu rogu BieAw jw suKu qwim n hoeI ]

dhukh dhaaroo sukh rog bhaeiaa jaa sukh thaam n hoee ||

Suffering is the medicine, and pleasure the disease, because where there is pleasure, there is no desire for God.

qUM krqw krxw mY nwhI jw hau krI n hoeI ]1]

thoo(n) karathaa karanaa mai naahee jaa ho karee n hoee ||1||

You are the Creator Lord; I can do nothing. Even if I try, nothing happens. ||1||

bilhwrI kudriq visAw ]

balihaaree kudharath vasiaa ||

I am a sacrifice to Your almighty creative power which is pervading everywhere.

qyrw AMqu n jweI liKAw ]1] rhwau ]

thaeraa a(n)th n jaaee lakhiaa ||1|| rehaao ||

Your limits cannot be known. ||1||Pause||

jwiq mih joiq joiq mih jwqw Akl klw BrpUir rihAw ]

jaath mehi joth joth mehi jaathaa akal kalaa bharapoor rehiaa ||

Your Light is in Your creatures, and Your creatures are in Your Light; Your almighty power is pervading everywhere.

qUM scw swihbu isPiq suAwil@au ijin kIqI so pwir pieAw ]

thoo(n) sachaa saahib sifath suaaliho jin keethee so paar paeiaa ||

You are the True Lord and Master; Your Praise is so beautiful. One who sings it, is carried across.

khu nwnk krqy kIAw bwqw jo ikCu krxw su kir rihAw ]2]

kahu naanak karathae keeaa baathaa jo kishh karanaa s kar rehiaa ||2||

Nanak speaks the stories of the Creator Lord; whatever He is to do, He does. ||2||

Bhul Chuk Maarf Kaarni Saadh Sangat Jio

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[Guest _hmmm_]

why are these posts even being allowed up?

thats all that ever comes into the gupt section now a days

if you have relation problems go 2 relationship forum

not 2 a sikh forum

boyfrend/girlfrend relations are NOT allowed in sikhi

sexual relations before amrit are NOT allowed in sikhi

NO MORE POSTS ON THIS STUPID TOPIC

I'm sure yelling at people is allowed in sikhi :rolleyes:

Why don't we just shun everyone who don't conform to Sikhi :rolleyes:

[Singh132]

The relationship between your gf and you is not accepted in Gurmat. It is called Manmat. If we play the game of Manmat, then we shouldn't be shocked by the rules. One of these rules is that these relationships are based on kaam and physical attraction. Once the kaam isn't satisfied by the old partner, the game says to find a new one.

Love means making that which you love more important than yourself. What you've described as 'love' in reality does not meet the definition we have as Sikhs. In the manmat game of relationships, a person is looking to be satisfied and when that satisfaction isn't coming anymore, it's time to move on. Love is selfless while kaam (lust) is only selfish.

So there really is no advice that can be given while the game being played is manmat. She's playing accroding to the rules.

The only advice possible then, is Gurmat where such relationships are completely unacceptable. It may seem harsh but even though it seems very difficult to do and life may seem to be less 'exciting', in reality the game of Gurmat is the only one where happiness and satisfaction are possible.

So the only thing you can do is try to live according to Gurmat in the future and not repeat the mistakes of the past.

[Hershi]

is the khalsa becoming some joke now? i've been seeing toooooooo many of these posts lately ...well veerji..u know what u did was wrong..and you basically got a big thupaar back from guruji for your actions...thank him:P and stop all this relationship stuffs...its not gonna benefit you in any way.

[Guest XXXXX]

Great post by Almost Singh, great respect to you, great post, great post, need more people like you on this forum :BOW: :Re: