How To Deal With The Past

[Guest _~singh~_]

(admin please dont delete this as i am not a member)

I have just found out that my soon to be wife has been with many men and this is troubling me ALOT! i havent been with anyone and waited and i feel so cheated and lied to!!!! i have fallen in love with her and she waited until i felt this way, i want to end it before i marry her i dont think she respects me, after all she lied to me!!! makes me so angry. what should i do!?

mod note: Ok topic has been allowed, if anything inappropriate is posted, posts will be deleted/edited.

[Guest Guest]

Break it off now, if you can't learn to live with the differences at present it will most likely just get worse in the future.

[Guest Guest]

OMG! I am so sorry you had to find out later. No-one can advise you what the best thing to do is...only you do. If you are confused, ask maharaj. Take a hukamnama with that issue in your mind and see what maharaj says to you. It is pretty indecent of her not to tell you, especially as all relationships are based on trust.

The main thing is, if shes amritdhari then make sure she took amrit again. If she has, then maharaj has forgiven and it's up to you whether you do. Her past sins would have been erased.

If shes not, then it's just a chioce you have to make with the help of maharaj. If you can marry her and live with that fact, then great marry her. If not, seriously consider breaking it off. But don't make any rash decisions...maybe talk to her about it?

I hope it all works out for Veerji! I can't imagine how you are feeling right now......a women you thought you knew...the women you thought you would spend the rest of your life with. What is she like? What qualities does she have that attracted you to her? What is her relationship like with maharaj? Maybe these are the questions you should also ask yourself...

I am sure you will make the right decision!

[Guest **]

Break it off now, if you can't learn to live with the differences at present it will most likely just get worse in the future.

agree it will only get worse unless you can get past it now, and u can maintain that for a while before u get married and u know for a fact that it doenst bother you...or else it is trouble... especially since she seems not to care..

other than that i would get an opinion from a gursikh...go to the gurdwara and see who is in ur area currently from india or even a good granthi or gursikh that you know or have seen around...

[SunSingh]

immediately talk to her openly and honestly about how you feel before making any decision.

[RKang17]

If u cant accpet and get over the fact that shes been with other men...then best thing for u is to just end the realatiionship, forget the marriage ^

[saint-soldier]

ssa

whatever you do dont take anyones advice too seriously regarding this issue because this is a personal thing and not something like where you have problem doing nitnem where you can take everyones advice. We are not in your or her position to give good advice, so I suggest you talk to your soon to be wife and tell her how you feel then make a decision yourself instead of asking us because in this situation asking us wont get you anywhere.

[Guest _~singh~_]

thanks everybody for your comments but im just shattered at the moment cant think straight :'(

[apne]

If you are a sikh then do your nitnem and take hukamnama from Guru Granth Sahib. If you cannot take hukamnama then you visit your gurdwara in morning and see the hukamnama for the day. Maharaj will answer your question. But you have to believe and honestly do ardas from your heart and ask guru maharaj for guidance. You will get your answer.

[Pheena]

(admin please dont delete this as i am not a member)

I have just found out that my soon to be wife has been with many men and this is troubling me ALOT! i havent been with anyone and waited and i feel so cheated and lied to!!!! i have fallen in love with her and she waited until i felt this way, i want to end it before i marry her i dont think she respects me, after all she lied to me!!! makes me so angry. what should i do!?

mod note: Ok topic has been allowed, if anything inappropriate is posted, posts will be deleted/edited.

She lied to you how? Did you ask her when you first met her and she lied to you about it? How did she cheat 'you'?

You act as if she stole something which belonged to you and then lied to you about it? Was it her choice what to do with her body or yours to enforce it on her? Did she force you to remain a virgin or did you choose to do so on your own?

If you have fallen in love and are now regretting doing so, then let me tell you such is not 'Love', only an impersonation of it.