Jump to content

Should I Wear My Dumalla Shastar At Partys?


wannabe akali
 Share

Recommended Posts

WJKK WJKF

sangat ji, unfortunately, my parents make me go to wedding partys because, they are family n they say if we dont go

to their program then they will not come to ours. Anyway my mum told me today to not wear my dumalla shastar

because its a party with drinking and meat and possible smoking and it would be beadbi to the shastar. i agree with

her but i also have feelings about my shastar, i dont like being told i shouldnt and cant wear them. i like to think that

by wearing my shastar at these places, i am showing what sikhi should look like and not that just because im in a party

im going to take away my shastar. so i dont really know what to do.

take them of for the party

or keep them on.

i will take the most common choice that the sangat says

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its one of those places you shouldnt be going, period. Guru Gobind Singh jee's horse didn't even set foot on a drug/tobacco field, how can his son goto a place where drugs (drinks) are taken openly

i know what you mean bhaji. but u no hw family is. ive had so many fight with my parents and grandparents, i just

cant not go. im only 14, my parents still wanna be my physical god, if u no wat i mean but mark my words, as soon

as i turn 16, i will not go to a party again, hopefully i will be lucky to marry a singhni who feels the same way about

partys and stuff like i do.

thanx bhaji

Link to comment
Share on other sites

if u absolutely have to go, keep the shastar, as mention above, gupt. wrap them into your keski or something

over time, our relatives and old family friends who arent yet amritdhari have learnt to accept that we dont go to parties and such, and the respect that. if they are open minded enough, consider talking with them, u, ur parents, and ur relatives

but remember, a singhs greatest weapon is his ardas :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

WJKK WJKF

sangat ji, unfortunately, my parents make me go to wedding partys because, they are family n they say if we dont go

to their program then they will not come to ours. Anyway my mum told me today to not wear my dumalla shastar

because its a party with drinking and meat and possible smoking and it would be beadbi to the shastar. i agree with

her but i also have feelings about my shastar, i dont like being told i shouldnt and cant wear them. i like to think that

by wearing my shastar at these places, i am showing what sikhi should look like and not that just because im in a party

im going to take away my shastar. so i dont really know what to do.

take them of for the party

or keep them on.

i will take the most common choice that the sangat says

Veerji

I can understand ur problem. But my sincere advise is, not to be so rigid that it hinders or creates friction in family. One has to wear the according to situation. If you r Amritdhari, your parents are not saying to lay off ur kakkars, which shouldn't be done at all, but regarding Dumalla or Turban, one can change the style. There is no such compulsion that one has to wear only Dumalla wit or without shastars.

- If u r going to Gurudwara Sahib, Kirtan Samagam, ur Gursikh friends, then have Dumalla

- If u r going to Office, if Dumalla is ok, tie it, or have other type of Turban

- If you go to play any kind of sports, you wear the kind of uniform you should be, even patka/keski can also be tied

- If u r going to Fitness centre/Gym, u wear attire accordingly

that doesn't means you are doing something against sikhi. Don't compromise on Kakkars but Turban can have any style. Sikhi is not rigid, act according to situation without compromising on Gursikhi values.

Hope this helps.

Rab Rakha

Link to comment
Share on other sites

WJKK WJKF

sangat ji, unfortunately, my parents make me go to wedding partys because, they are family n they say if we dont go

to their program then they will not come to ours. Anyway my mum told me today to not wear my dumalla shastar

because its a party with drinking and meat and possible smoking and it would be beadbi to the shastar. i agree with

her but i also have feelings about my shastar, i dont like being told i shouldnt and cant wear them. i like to think that

by wearing my shastar at these places, i am showing what sikhi should look like and not that just because im in a party

im going to take away my shastar. so i dont really know what to do.

take them of for the party

or keep them on.

i will take the most common choice that the sangat says

what a wimp why dont u stand up 2 ur family and dnt go!!!!u shidnt be in such places!disgraceful. i never go to wedding partys tell my family why and if they have a prob its up 2 them im not bothered

Link to comment
Share on other sites

WJKK WJKF

sangat ji, unfortunately, my parents make me go to wedding partys because, they are family n they say if we dont go

to their program then they will not come to ours. Anyway my mum told me today to not wear my dumalla shastar

because its a party with drinking and meat and possible smoking and it would be beadbi to the shastar. i agree with

her but i also have feelings about my shastar, i dont like being told i shouldnt and cant wear them. i like to think that

by wearing my shastar at these places, i am showing what sikhi should look like and not that just because im in a party

im going to take away my shastar. so i dont really know what to do.

take them of for the party

or keep them on.

i will take the most common choice that the sangat says

what a wimp why dont u stand up 2 ur family and dnt go!!!!u shidnt be in such places!disgraceful. i never go to wedding partys tell my family why and if they have a prob its up 2 them im not bothered

bhaj, please dont call me a wimp because im not. i asked the sangat this question for a reason. anyway, i cnt help going.

its like saying that ur a wimp if you cant stop your parents from drinking or something. but i agree with you when you say

i should stand up to them. but whenever i do, i get into ferocious fights, and everyone gets very stressed, including my

mom, who doesnt need that kind of stress, she has had a nervous breakdown before, due to me standing up to them.

id rather not let it happen again

thanx for the comment tho bhaj.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

what a wimp why dont u stand up 2 ur family and dnt go!!!!u shidnt be in such places!disgraceful. i never go to wedding partys tell my family why and if they have a prob its up 2 them im not bothered

I can't believe you said that Singh. Here's our younger brother asking for help and advice and you come out with that?

Veer Ji, if you are being "forced" to go, go how you are comfortable. Whether that is with or without Shastar. If I say do wear them others will say "You should respect your parent's wishes", if I say don't wear them, others will say "A Singh takes off his Shasters for NO ONE!! etc etc" Keeping them gupt sounds like a good idea though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Umm, that's totally irrational, bro. There are plenty of prakash-dara Singhs in Punjab (less than we'd like, but still plenty). No one cares that you are sabat soorat. It isn't 1986. You can walk around in chola, kurta-pajama, or jeans. Whatever. If you want the look @dallysingh101 is referring to, just go into a cheap clothing shop (not a Western-style mall) and buy some shirts for 250 rupees or a track suit for 2000 rupees. You'll get the cheap stuff made in some sweatshop in Bombay.
    • The Mind is Jyot Saroop (Waheguru), but the mind is under the influence of five evils… Through Naam Simran( Rememberance), the mind will begin to detach from evil, and get back to its original form ( MANN TU JYOT SAROOP HEH)… Until the mind breaks free from the five evils, one will go through the cycle of paap and punn….which leads to Karma… Naam Simran destroys past karma, and prevents new karma coming into fruition… I did this, I did that… This non realisation of the Jyot Saroop gives rise to paap and Punn, which in turn gives birth to suffering and misery…
    • I agree we're not born with sin like the Christians think. Also I agree we have effects of karma. But Gurbani does state that the body contains both sin and charity (goodness): ਕਾਇਆ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਪਾਪੁ ਪੁੰਨੁ ਦੁਇ ਭਾਈ ॥ Within the body are the two brothers sin and virtue. p126 Actually, we do need to be saved. Gurbani calls this "udhaar" (uplift). Without Satguru, souls are liable to spiritual death: ਜਿਨਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਨ ਭੇਟਿਓ ਸੇ ਭਾਗਹੀਣ ਵਸਿ ਕਾਲ ॥ p40 Those who have not met Satguru Purakh are unfortunate and liable to death. So, yeah, we do need to be saved, and Guru ji does the saving. The reason Satguru is the one to save is because God has given Satguru the "key" (kunji): ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਹਥਿ ਕੁੰਜੀ ਹੋਰਤੁ ਦਰੁ ਖੁਲੈ ਨਾਹੀ ਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰੈ ਭਾਗਿ ਮਿਲਾਵਣਿਆ ॥੭॥ In the True Guru's hand is the key. None else can open the door. By perfect good fortune the Guru is met. p124
    • That's unfortunate to hear. Could you give any more information? Who was this "baba"? He just disappeared with people's money? Obviously, you should donate your money to known institutions or poor people that you can verify the need of through friends and family in Punjab.
    • Sangat ji,  I know a family who went Sevewal to do seva sometimes end of 2019. They returned last year in great dismay and heart broken.  To repent for their mistakes they approached panj pyaare. The Panj gave them their punishment / order to how t make it up which, with Kirpa, they fulfilled.  They were listening to a fake Baba who, in the end, took all the "Donations " and fled sometime over a year ago. For nearly 4 years this family (who are great Gursikhs once u get to know them) wasted time and effort for this fake Baba. NOT ONLY this one fam. But many, many did worldwide and they took their fam to do seva, in village Sevewal, city Jaitho in Punjab. In the end many families lost money in thousands being behind this Baba. The family, on return, had to get in touch with all the participants and told them to stop.  I am stating this here to create awareness and we need to learn from whom we follow and believe. It's no easy but if we follow the 3 S (Sangat, Simran and Seva) we will be shown the light. As I am writing this the family in question have been doing the same since 2008 onwards and they fell for this Baba... it is unbelievable and shocking.  This am writing in a nutshell as am at work on my break so not lengthy but it deserves a great length.  Especially the family in question, who shed light on youngsters about Sikhi 20 plus years!! 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use