Experiences Of Singhnia

[Guest Tips]

To all Singhnia that use this forum,

I would really value your opinions and experiences on the Sikh rehat that you keep.

I have decided that I want to follow the path of Sikhi and I would like to take it step by step.

I have stopping cutting my hair but I still have my eyebrows done and upper lip. I don't feel comfortable/strong enough for a huge change all at once. Is it just me or did any of you feel like this when you started keep your hair? Sometimes I feel as though I'm just kidding myself and I'll never be able to keep rehat because the point of keeping your kesh and then doing your eyebrows tend to cancel each other out.

I want to hear real stories about girls that have become singhnia and how they found the journey to that point (I say to that point because the journey doesn't stop there).

My mum says that we should keep underwear on in the shower because paani is pita, our father. But then I think Pavan is Guru yet we have to undress in front of the air anyway. I'm not comfortable with following things that I doubt. Thats why I would like to know what Singhnia do.

How do you keep your head covered at all times? Don't you have to remove the distar when washing your hair and keep your head uncovered when you dry it after washing it? do you wear distar when you sleep? Don't you get really hot? Is there a certain material for night time distar to keep you cool?

Do you wear underwear when showering? If so, what are the reasons? Sorry if this is a private question but I would like to know what I should be doing and why.

Do you use mouthwash? It contains alcohol, some people say it is against rehat to use alcohol. But doesn't it depend on your intentions?

Can you wear makeup of any kind, like tinted moisturiser? I know you might think this is a really silly question but I have no friends who are singhnia so I don't know. Do you wear nail polish?

Also what about dress sense. What do you recommend for western wear. These days not everyone wears a suit at all times. Don't mean to sound vain or anything but I only ever see singhnia at the Gurdwara so I don't really have any ideas on what looks ok and what doesnt. I mean things like boots and slim jeans, they are comfortable and look nice, but would this send out wrong signals? must you wear long clothing all the time?

Also, is it a must to shower every morning or can you shower in the afternoons or evenings? I find that my hair falls out more if I wash it everyday and it loses moisture.

I have so many questions and the truth is that I do want to do this and I want to give it my best shot. Sorry if I have asked anything offensive, I just want your advice and help on the way forward. Again, they may seem like silly questions but to change habits that you have followed all your life can be a challenging and I want to hear opinions of people that have been through it.

Again I apologise if I have asked anything out of line, I ask in all humbleness that you give me honest answers, no matter how silly they may sound, it's no good to hear stuff that people 'think' sounds right, I'd like to hear 'real' opinions.

Thank you in advance for your help. :BOW:

WJKK WJKF

[Nehmat]

I would really value your opinions and experiences on the Sikh rehat that you keep.

Rehat---outer rehat suits even more if, first, inner rehat is kept and followed.

Inner Rehat---Love everyone.

Outer Rehat --- 5 Kaakars.

My mum says that we should keep underwear on in the shower because paani is pita, our father. But then I think Pavan is Guru yet we have to undress in front of the air anyway. I'm not comfortable with following things that I doubt.

Hmmm...Okay well, this will also mean that you cannot step on earth because she is our mother. Hopefully, you can make out an answer. ;-)

How do you keep your head covered at all times? Don't you have to remove the distar when washing your hair and keep your head uncovered when you dry it after washing it? Oh Waheguru...Ji, be practical. To take amrit is not to tie yourself up in odd rituals. When you take amrit you actually are freed from these rituals. Think about it, if you don't take off your head covering then HOW WILL YOU WASH YOUR HAIR? :S

Do you use mouthwash? It contains alcohol, some people say it is against rehat to use alcohol. But doesn't it depend on your intentions?

How much alcohol is in it? Will you be drinking the mouthwash?

Ji, this is Personal Hygiene. Don't be a fanatic. Many medicines contain alcohol. But really, can you even see that alcohol? Too MUCH of anything is poison not just alcohol. Just be realistic.

Can you wear makeup of any kind, like tinted moisturiser? I know you might think this is a really silly question but I have no friends who are singhnia so I don't know.

Ummm...Most people do. Again, it's a personal choice. But really bibi, you just begin to realize...slowly (sometimes fast depending on your spirituality), that makeup(just read this word again, sounds fake...doesn't it?) is not needed. God has already made you so beautiful. =)

Also what about dress sense. What do you recommend for western wear. These days not everyone wears a suit at all times. Don't mean to sound vain or anything but I only ever see singhnia at the Gurdwara so I don't really have any ideas on what looks ok and what doesnt. I mean things like boots and slim jeans, they are comfortable and look nice, but would this send out wrong signals? must you wear long clothing all the time?

Waheguru, Ji, wear anything that is proper and will cover you to the proper extents. Western or whatever...

Also, is it a must to shower every morning or can you shower in the afternoons or evenings? I find that my hair falls out more if I wash it everyday and it loses moisture.

It's okay to shower once a day, preferably in the morning is better. Other showers in the day are your choice.

I have so many questions and the truth is that I do want to do this and I want to give it my best shot. Sorry if I have asked anything offensive, I just want your advice and help on the way forward. Again, they may seem like silly questions but to change habits that you have followed all your life can be a challenging and I want to hear opinions of people that have been through it.

No, Bibi, these questions were not silly. But yes, it was amazing to see how misinformed the youth is. People are scaring others making them feel as if taking Amrit is like being tied to a tree, so they can't do this or that. And hence, stopping them and committing a sin indeed.

I don't have anything else to say. I don't even have an inspirational story to tell you. Follow what your soul/heart agrees with.

[Guest T]

To all Singhnia that use this forum,

I would really value your opinions and experiences on the Sikh rehat that you keep.

I have decided that I want to follow the path of Sikhi and I would like to take it step by step.

Great news penji, mahraj has done kirpaa

I have stopping cutting my hair but I still have my eyebrows done and upper lip. I don't feel comfortable/strong enough for a huge change all at once. Is it just me or did any of you feel like this when you started keep your hair? Sometimes I feel as though I'm just kidding myself and I'll never be able to keep rehat because the point of keeping your kesh and then doing your eyebrows tend to cancel each other out.

Penji, dont worry these things take time. You will stop eventually. I used to bleach my facial hair before i came into sikhi, but the more sangat i started to keep, and gurbani i read. I just didnt see the point to it anymore, so i stopped. We do these things becuase we are concious of our physical looks, with time, you will see its a waste of time. Dont worry, its great you dont cut your hair, thats the first step, keep on putting the effort in, and you'll stop the eyebrows too.

I want to hear real stories about girls that have become singhnia and how they found the journey to that point (I say to that point because the journey doesn't stop there).

I have no special story to tell, im sure there are real singhnia out there who could shed more light on this, but for me it was all about mahraj lifting me out of the 'hell' i was living in. When you realise that everything is false except for mahraj, things get put into perspective. And yes you are 100% right, this is just the begining

My mum says that we should keep underwear on in the shower because paani is pita, our father. But then I think Pavan is Guru yet we have to undress in front of the air anyway. I'm not comfortable with following things that I doubt. Thats why I would like to know what Singhnia do.

:6 ok thats a bit confusing lol, how are you meant to clean yourself fully, if you cant wash properly with water?

Mahraj is everything, mahraj is everywhere. You need to keep your kachere with you whilst showering, but you can still wash properly.

How do you keep your head covered at all times? Don't you have to remove the distar when washing your hair and keep your head uncovered when you dry it after washing it? do you wear distar when you sleep? Don't you get really hot? Is there a certain material for night time distar to keep you cool?

When washing your hair, you can tie your keski (smaller turban worn underneath dastar) around your waist- whilst you are fully clothed, and simply bend your down into the bath and wash your hair. WHilst drying your hair/combing it-again your keski should be left tied around your waist. Yes the keski should be worn whilst sleeping- at all times excpet for when your washing your hair. The material i use is mal mal, so its very thin, and no i dont get hot its feel very comfortable. I used to tie my hair in a pony tail before i came into sikhi- that was very uncomfortable lol.

- the above applies if you keep the rehit of wearing a dastar- Some penjis tie a patka etc, so im not sure what they do when bathing, sleeping etc.

Do you wear underwear when showering? If so, what are the reasons? Sorry if this is a private question but I would like to know what I should be doing and why.

As i said before, just kachere should be worn, as kachere is one of the panj kakars which must be worn at all times.

Do you use mouthwash? It contains alcohol, some people say it is against rehat to use alcohol. But doesn't it depend on your intentions?

My dentist advised me not to use mouthwash. So if possible, try to avoid it.

Can you wear makeup of any kind, like tinted moisturiser? I know you might think this is a really silly question but I have no friends who are singhnia so I don't know. Do you wear nail polish?

Hmmm i know alot of singhni who do wear make-up, personally i dont thing we need to. After speaking to a few penjis who do wear make-up, it seems most of them do it, becuase they're insecure about theyre looks etc, and not confident with their appearance. I personally dont see the point, your beautiful the way you are :D

I think if you would not go to an amrit sanchar dressed in nail polish and make up, then you should not wear make up, in social environments either.

Also what about dress sense. What do you recommend for western wear. These days not everyone wears a suit at all times. Don't mean to sound vain or anything but I only ever see singhnia at the Gurdwara so I don't really have any ideas on what looks ok and what doesnt. I mean things like boots and slim jeans, they are comfortable and look nice, but would this send out wrong signals? must you wear long clothing all the time?

Emm its personal choice as to what you wear, i think the main thing is you wear something that is decent. Like if you wanted to pop in to the gurdwara and do matha tek, and your wearing english clothes etc, make sure there respectable enuf, so you can do matha tek without getting embarassed. i.e no very short tops etc lol.

Also, is it a must to shower every morning or can you shower in the afternoons or evenings? I find that my hair falls out more if I wash it everyday and it loses moisture.

Emmm you would shower in the mornings, when you first wake up- before you do naam simran or paath. I think it just makes more sense to shower when you just wake up, if you cant for whatever reason, then yh shower later on.

Emm as long as you dont wash your hair everyday with shampoo it should be ok. Use shampoo say twice a week. And the other days just use water, and use some oil aswel.

I have so many questions and the truth is that I do want to do this and I want to give it my best shot. Sorry if I have asked anything offensive, I just want your advice and help on the way forward. Again, they may seem like silly questions but to change habits that you have followed all your life can be a challenging and I want to hear opinions of people that have been through it.

Again I apologise if I have asked anything out of line, I ask in all humbleness that you give me honest answers, no matter how silly they may sound, it's no good to hear stuff that people 'think' sounds right, I'd like to hear 'real' opinions.

Im aware i probably havent been much help lol. Theres no such thing as asking too many questions, its the way you learn

And i think its great your starting to make changes in order to progress in your sikhi

Thank you in advance for your help. :BOW:

WJKK WJKF

vahiguru ji ka khalsa, vahiguru ji ki fateh!

[JustME]

I would really value your opinions and experiences on the Sikh rehat that you keep.

I have stopping cutting my hair but I still have my eyebrows done and upper lip. I don't feel comfortable/strong enough for a huge change all at once. Is it just me or did any of you feel like this when you started keep your hair? Sometimes I feel as though I'm just kidding myself and I'll never be able to keep rehat because the point of keeping your kesh and then doing your eyebrows tend to cancel each other out.

Aaaw congratulations pehnj that Maharaj is awakening your soul to a beautiful life as His soul bride..............well im going to answer on a practical level based on my personal experiences..........as Nehmat has answered so beautiful i would not like to repeat her wise words.....Keep ur attention on small things to begin with.........if you are going to stop cutting kesh...............do japji sahib..........or a few maleh of mool manter to give u strenght to keep as much rehit as possible..........it worked for me ...........the rest will slowly come with time........you see waheguru loves u and will never push you into anything ur soul isnt realy for...........His will guide you and all u have to do is sit back and let Him take over.........

My mum says that we should keep underwear on in the shower because paani is pita, our father. But then I think Pavan is Guru yet we have to undress in front of the air anyway. I'm not comfortable with following things that I doubt. Thats why I would like to know what Singhnia do.

erm.............not too sure but AFTER i took amrit panj pyaareh told in the "one leg in one leg out method" with regards to your kashera.......lol............i completly forget after though and continued to shower without it.........luckly someone informed me.................for now.................dont worry about that too much...........it will come when the time is ready..........the the process id as follows...........i shower with kashera on...........but drop it to ankles to wash my body but kashera is still in contact with body hanna?.............then you get ur fresh one, dry ur leg, removed one leg out on wet one and put fresh one one the do the same with other leg.........(i fell out the bath when i did it the first time......... :lol: but you get used to it and now i dont even think about it....... )

How do you keep your head covered at all times? Don't you have to remove the distar when washing your hair and keep your head uncovered when you dry it after washing it? do you wear distar when you sleep? Don't you get really hot? Is there a certain material for night time distar to keep you cool?

that depends on what u decide to wear, Maharaj taught me how to tie a dastaar with keski.......ur keski is like a mini dastaar u wear under your main dastaar, so when i go to sleep or im just lazing around the house, i just wear a keski..........then for work, social etc i always tie a dastaar..........to be honest since ive been wearing one, it has never felt uncomfortable....except when u tie it too tight and give urself a headache and sore ears.........but the more u wear one, the you will be aware of how much pressue to apply..............but seriosly i love my keski.............my hair is always out the way and tuck away.........i always take it out and brush it and let it air for about an hour after ive washed it then finish off with a hair dryer before tieing dastaar.

Do you wear underwear when showering? If so, what are the reasons? Sorry if this is a private question but I would like to know what I should be doing and why.

i think i kinda answered this in the underwear bit.....

Do you use mouthwash? It contains alcohol, some people say it is against rehat to use alcohol. But doesn't it depend on your intentions?

Never used mouthwash..........but as long as you aint using it to get high or drunk, i personally dont see there being an issue.............its all about ur intent............thats what Guru looks out for.....

Can you wear makeup of any kind, like tinted moisturiser? I know you might think this is a really silly question but I have no friends who are singhnia so I don't know. Do you wear nail polish?

Makeup dont realy do much for me to be honest...........it used to bring me out in acne and rashes.........now i just drink lots of water and my skin is in good shape.............but before i took amrit i use to wear foundation.........after i took amrit i used tinted moisturiser cos on red blotches but.............well............i just stopped using it........and the blotches went away with wahegurus kirpa..............i dont use anil varnish and dont realy know any singhniah who do............

Also what about dress sense. What do you recommend for western wear. These days not everyone wears a suit at all times. Don't mean to sound vain or anything but I only ever see singhnia at the Gurdwara so I don't really have any ideas on what looks ok and what doesnt. I mean things like boots and slim jeans, they are comfortable and look nice, but would this send out wrong signals? must you wear long clothing all the time?

well.............i wear i good combination on both............but i always make sure im not pushing boundries with my dress...........remember as Khalsa u are always representing Maharaj...........inwardly and outwardly......if it helps a few examples of what i like to wear.........western wise.....i wear jeans.............baggy and skinny............prefer baggy cos of kashera..........i wear knee lengh/long skirts with thick tights underneath and flat long boots as workwear........indianwise i wear bana, suits/kurtis...............again..........wear anything with moderation.........and awareness.....

Also, is it a must to shower every morning or can you shower in the afternoons or evenings? I find that my hair falls out more if I wash it everyday and it loses moisture.

well if you are doing nitnem every morning, then u mush shower each m,orning before sitting down to do path........trust me its nice.........realy freshens and awakens you................i had the same problem with kesh...............so what i do is shampoo wash it 1-2 times a week and just wash it with water alone the rest of the days.... i used the Aussie Brand shampoo and conditior.............its got lots of natural stuff in, and theres one make in it thats for everyday washing..............if my hair feels dry, i just put conditioner in it without shampoo and that does the trick!

I have so many questions and the truth is that I do want to do this and I want to give it my best shot. Sorry if I have asked anything offensive, I just want your advice and help on the way forward. Again, they may seem like silly questions but to change habits that you have followed all your life can be a challenging and I want to hear opinions of people that have been through it.

Again I apologise if I have asked anything out of line, I ask in all humbleness that you give me honest answers, no matter how silly they may sound, it's no good to hear stuff that people 'think' sounds right, I'd like to hear 'real' opinions.

Hey no worries thats what sisters are for, if u need any advice or more personal info............jion the board and PM me and myslef along with other singhni here, i sure, will be more that will to help...........

Good Luck with ur journey and remember Waheguru is always at hand..............

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!!

xx

[Guest bibi]

fateh jee

ok to begin with bhenji, you mentioned kesh. i personally understand how difficult it is to stop plucking and waxing, especially when its your face..i remember thinking "ok just one more time n ill stop". but its never just one more time. when you start to keep your kesh, with Maharaajs kirpa you are given the strength to show your true form. it can be easy to slip back into old habits because you may feel really low about your appearance so read as much bani as you can, listen to as much keertan as you can, and spend more time in the company of gursikhs

keeping regular underwear on in the shower is not something ive heard of before, especially for those reasons. however, we are not allowed to remove our kakkaar so our kachera needs to be kept on whilst showering. this is because when we receive amrit, our kakkaar become our ang (limbs) so we keep them on us 24/7. so we wash our kesh and body seperately (and yes, we must shower every morning before nitnem-this is essential). when we wash our bodies, our kirpan is tied around the dastaar. then, when washing kesh, we should put the kirpan back on, place the kangha inside our dastaar and tie it around the waist.

in order to allow your kesh to dry, the dastaar can be left tied around the waist whilst reciting nitnem (if you know it off by heart). if not, then the head must be covered by your keski as you will need a gutka. once nitnem and simran is complete, your kesh should be dry. most of us wear a small keski at night, so it will not be the larger dastaar that we see during the day. i personally dont get too hot wearing a keski to sleep..

you can get alcohol free mouthwash its not like youre drinking it, and almost certainly wont become intoxicated lol but if youre really that uncomfortable with it then there are alcohol free versions.

there are rehatnameh which state that the wearing of makeup, or jewellery is not permitted. however, these rehatnameh are apparently questionable when it comes to other points of discussion. personally i do not wear any makeup, nail varnish or jewellery. i see it as an insult to Maharaaj. if the Lord is perfect, then he created us perfect. how can you perfect perfection? you cant. regarding jewellery bhenji, please read the following:

Story Behind Baavan Akhree

Translated from Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh jee’s book – Gurmat Gauravta

**********TRANSLATION BEGINS*************

Regarding wearing ornaments, there is an extremely beautiful saakhi (story) in our history. The mention of this story in this context (context of wearing ornaments) is extremely important here. Once Siri Guru Arjun Dev jee, who was all-knowing, naturally inspired and advised his wife – Mata Ganga – jee as follows, “Women of rich Mahajans and Khatrees come to see you everyday but you should be aware that no matter how rich or nice these women are but they are still far from Gurmat. Never adopt their non-Gurmat, Manmatt advice”.

This way after naturally advising his wife to not adopt the manmatt actions of the visiting rich women of Mahajans and Khatrees, Siri Guru jee went to Gur-darbaar (where sangat was). That day when Siri Guru jee was preaching Gurmat to sangat, a very rich Seth made an offering of “Naulakha Haar” (Naulakha Haar literally means a necklace worth 900,000 rupees). The whole city of Amritsar Sahib was talking about this very expensive necklace. Many rich women of the city came to see the necklace and loved the sight of this necklace.

Many of these women got together and went to Mata Ganga jee and starting requesting and cajoling her to wear that expensive necklace as follows, “You are the mother of this whole world yet you are not wearing any ornament. You are the queen of this world but are without any necklace. Being wife of Siri Guru Arjun Dev jee, it does not suit you to be without ornaments. Today, someone has offered the Naulakha Haar (necklace) to Siri Guru jee and being our Guru Mata and being the wife of Siri Guru Arjun Dev jee it would be highly befitting to have you wear that necklace around your neck. We implore to you that you beg before your husband Siri Guru Arjun Dev jee to let you wear this necklace.”

What to say more, this way the group of rich but manmukh women who came to see Mata Ganga jee, convinced her to wear the Naulakha Haar. Before Siri Guru Arjun Dev jee arrived back at his residence from the Darbar, Mata jee lay herself on her bed, pretending to be sullen (gussay). Jaani-jaan (all knowing) Satguru jee knew about the real cause of Mata jee’s sullenness and said, “Today you seem to have been affected and influenced by the Aanmat (non-Gurmat) lessons of the rich women who visited you today and I had warned you about this earlier.”

Siri Mata jee got conscious of arrival of Siri Guru jee and with folded hands and with palla (hazooriya) in her hands, pleaded before Siri Guru jee, “O True King (Sachay Paatshah), this servant of yours has never ever asked you for anything. This is the first time, I am asking for anything. I am hoping you will show your mercifulness by granting me my wish.”

Siri Guru jee knew everything but still asked her, with a sweet smile on his face, as to what her wish was. Siri Mata jee immediately said, “Today a naulakha haar was offered in your darbar. Please grant me your approval in form of letting me wear that naulakha haar (the necklace).”

Siri Guru jee hearing this plea from Mata Ganga jee laughed a lot and said, “You have confirmed that you have been influenced by your meeting with the non-Sikh rich women who met you today. O innocent one (bholeeyay) and O naïve one, you are talking about necklace worth nine hundred thousand, but even if you wear necklaces worth millions and billions of ruppees, it would still be false or waste thing to do. Today, we are going to make such necklace for you that will not only help you in this world but also in the next world.”

After these bachans (words) to Mata jee, Siri Guru Arjun Dev jee started uttering Siri Baavan Akhree and such was the positive and heavenly influence of this baani on Siri Mata jee that as she listened to this baani, this baani got carved on her inside (her heart). Such a miracle occurred at that time that as Siri Guru jee uttered this baani, this baani got carved on the beautiful heart of Mata Ganga jee and she got this baani memorized in this short time (listening to it only once). With the affect of listening to this beautiful baani, Mata Ganga jee’s heart and her inside got illuminated with this baani. This way, Mata Ganga jee wore the true Naulakha Haar of Baavan Akhree. (All her wish of wearing the worldly Naulakha Haar vanished).

*************TRANSLATION OVER****************

now we get to the subject of clothes..i personally quite enjoy shopping, i wont lie all i would say is, as long as your clothes arent tight or revealing then you can wear whatever. so if your jeans arent tight then its ok. saying all this, its important not to get attached to fashion because its maya, n shoppping and clothes blah blah blah is an endless cycle and can hinder you in the long run. im still working on it lol but yeah, if you think it looks nice and its modest then thats fine

anytime you feel worried or upset bhenji, do ardaas and take a hukamnama..remember that Maharaaj is always with you, i hope you are blessed with the strength to continue on this path.

vaheguru jee ka khalsa, vaheguru jee kee fateh!!

[lowest of the low singhni]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

Just to add to what the above two posts mention.

You've already said that you aren't comfortable with huge life changes all at once. Unless your mind is made of steel just take baby steps initially and everything else will fall into place.

Things like not doing your eyebrows etc will only make sense if you begin to see Guru Ji's light inside yourself. Think of your body as a temple which was perfectly created in every way. There really is no need to adjust the decor when Guru Ji Himself designed it. Unfortunately there are a lot of so-called Kaurs who set a bad example for newbies by wearing makeup/remove their hair. With regards to clothing you need to find a balance which you're comfortable with. If you're comfortable with slim jeans that's fine but it's a matter of preference/decency. Personally I need to wear jeans a size larger than my actual size to feel comfortable. [ And a tight belt : ) ]

Don't follow what you see people doing, follow what you understand from the knowledge Guru Ji shares with you.

A lot of our Rehat is based on love for Guru Saheb but it may take a long time for that love to develop. At the beginning it might seem like a chore and it requires a lot of obedience. Things like showering/getting up in the morning/keeping our kakkars with us are direct orders from Guru Sahib. One day hopefully we'll be doing such things out of love rather than forcing our minds to obey.

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

[Guest _Tips_]

Thank you bhenji's so much for sharing all of this with me. Thanks for being honest and understanding the stage that I am at.

All of these answers are unique to me, as I said I have never spoken to a Singhni before. When I see a Singhani I feel so little in front of them and I feel as though I would be offending them to question them on what they do and don't do. I guess it's different on a board as sometimes it's easier to express yourself better in writing.

I started to read bani a few years go and it was always on and off, I felt that I was forcing myself to do it, like you said - a chore. But slowly I have begun to realise that I cannot just expect deep love for Waheguru to hit me overnight, it will take time and it may take years but it will be worth it in the end. Some days I would get so frustrated I would cry that I'm never going to be able to have love for Waheguru like real Sikhs. I still do get quite upset by it. I have had nightmares of hell and being reincarnated into a Hindu, yet none of this really hit me to wake me up - I think I have been waiting for one of those wake up calls but none of these experiences really sparked anything in me except fear of going to sleep. Now I really look at animals and the life they have to live and nature itself and I see how lucky we are to be given the human life and I just don't want to waste it anymore by doing useless things so I want to make the effort to take the right steps from now on.

I try to read Sukhmani Sahib once a month. At first I expected too much, I never really felt the peace that people say that you feel from it, I was forcing myself to feel it but I never, now I read a little at a time and with Waheguru's blessings I actually enjoy it now. But some days are harder than others.

I am almost in my 30's now and maybe I have held a misconception of the rehat we have to keep as Sikhs. There were a range of different responses there so I hope that not only have you helped me but you have also helped each other. The jewellery postwas really helpful too.

I can't thank you enough for being honest in your replies and not saying stuff that just sounds good. It may not seem like a big thing to some people ... but when your on this side of the fence this type of advice is invaluable to say the least.

I am definately going to take your advice on these things and hopefully Waheguru will give me the strength to apply them to my own life. It's been so nice to read your replies. I really felt the love in your responses.

May God bless you all. x

[Guest T]

Penji, i havent been on this forum for a long time, but your post really touched me.

We all have to start somewhere, and everyones 'journey' is unique. I was told once, that sometimes sikhi is like licking a stone, you dont get anything out of it, but stick at it, those who put their efforts in, reap what they sow.

I hope mahraj does kirpaa on you, all the best penji

gurfateh jee

Tarrandeep Kaur

Thank you bhenji's so much for sharing all of this with me. Thanks for being honest and understanding the stage that I am at.

All of these answers are unique to me, as I said I have never spoken to a Singhni before. When I see a Singhani I feel so little in front of them and I feel as though I would be offending them to question them on what they do and don't do. I guess it's different on a board as sometimes it's easier to express yourself better in writing.

I started to read bani a few years go and it was always on and off, I felt that I was forcing myself to do it, like you said - a chore. But slowly I have begun to realise that I cannot just expect deep love for Waheguru to hit me overnight, it will take time and it may take years but it will be worth it in the end. Some days I would get so frustrated I would cry that I'm never going to be able to have love for Waheguru like real Sikhs. I still do get quite upset by it. I have had nightmares of hell and being reincarnated into a Hindu, yet none of this really hit me to wake me up - I think I have been waiting for one of those wake up calls but none of these experiences really sparked anything in me except fear of going to sleep. Now I really look at animals and the life they have to live and nature itself and I see how lucky we are to be given the human life and I just don't want to waste it anymore by doing useless things so I want to make the effort to take the right steps from now on.

I try to read Sukhmani Sahib once a month. At first I expected too much, I never really felt the peace that people say that you feel from it, I was forcing myself to feel it but I never, now I read a little at a time and with Waheguru's blessings I actually enjoy it now. But some days are harder than others.

I am almost in my 30's now and maybe I have held a misconception of the rehat we have to keep as Sikhs. There were a range of different responses there so I hope that not only have you helped me but you have also helped each other. The jewellery postwas really helpful too.

I can't thank you enough for being honest in your replies and not saying stuff that just sounds good. It may not seem like a big thing to some people ... but when your on this side of the fence this type of advice is invaluable to say the least.

I am definately going to take your advice on these things and hopefully Waheguru will give me the strength to apply them to my own life. It's been so nice to read your replies. I really felt the love in your responses.

May God bless you all. x

[Gurparsad]

Bhanji just a small thing to add - the line 'Pavan guru pani pita mata dharat mahatt' does not mean the water coming down from the shower is your father, etc. I dont fully understand what it does mean, perhaps you could start a thread in the gurbani section for that, but it surely does not mean that we have to keep covered in the presence of any source of water.

That said, it is part of rehit to not part from our kakaar at any time, therefore kasherey/kirpaan should not be removed during ishnaan, but not because the pani is our 'pita'

[Guest *Pkaur*]

fateh jee!

have stopping cutting my hair but I still have my eyebrows done and upper lip. I don't feel comfortable/strong enough for a huge change all at once. Is it just me or did any of you feel like this when you started keep your hair? Sometimes I feel as though I'm just kidding myself and I'll never be able to keep rehat because the point of keeping your kesh and then doing your eyebrows tend to cancel each other out.

penje we all go thru some stages! when i first starting learning more about sikhi, i used to be in the same boat as u. i used to bleach and do my eye brows... HOWEVER maharaj does soooooo much kirpa that one day you will just STOP everything, u wnt see the point and u will feel proud of what ur doing. i used to think omg i will look ugly... but then u get to the stage where u think WHO CARES??? mahraj does kirpa man! if u dnt feel strong yet its normal lol.... get sangat, SANGAT helps tonessssssssssssssss,..... penje above ahem tarrandeep penj helped me alot! havin her sangat helped me alot xx lol so yeh, start to create a jeeevan.....mahraj is with u evry step u take.... just dont look back... do ardas, and u;ll be fine : D

about keski-- tie around ur waist when having kesi ishaan...

about the kashera bit--- erm justme penj anserrweed nicely : )

about eng clothes---- just wear normal clothes, we aint aliens lol.... u can get tonnes of tops that cover ur arms etc.... like 3/4 lengths : D just wear anything comfy and appropriate.

make up --- who needs a fake face when u have a lovely one given by vahegurooo?

forget make up and all that, theres nooo need. : )

main thing is ARDAS.... just watch mahraj will help u. get as much laha as u can.. u'll be fine!

all the bestt fatehjee x