Drunken Mistake, Need Help Now!

[wannabe akali 3]

there a lil kids on this site that are just trying to get into sikhi, and we deff. dont need them going home and asking their parents wat each of the bases mean, and all that crap.

(p.s. in case anybody didnt know second base is, it comes after first base, and before third base)

sorry to be a ''party pooper'' but im not a little kid and i did not know what second base was until i asked a friend then i was shocked what second base was lol

its obviously not said that often

but in my opinion it shudnt be said anyway

i wasnt shocked when i found out on yahoo answers, lmao

guessed it was something like that, still totally inappropriate to say on a forum where kids like me are getting into sikhi and then seeing things like this, to add more junk into their minds.

[caveman 6]

there a lil kids on this site that are just trying to get into sikhi, and we deff. dont need them going home and asking their parents wat each of the bases mean, and all that crap.

(p.s. in case anybody didnt know second base is, it comes after first base, and before third base)

sorry to be a ''party pooper'' but im not a little kid and i did not know what second base was until i asked a friend then i was shocked what second base was lol

its obviously not said that often

but in my opinion it shudnt be said anyway

i wasnt shocked when i found out on yahoo answers, lmao

guessed it was something like that, still totally inappropriate to say on a forum where kids like me are getting into sikhi and then seeing things like this, to add more junk into their minds.

indeed, i am old enough to legally drink (not that I do, just saying) , it was wrong saying it on this forum as there are kids from young as 13 and they would be shocked reading that crap!

[caveman 6]

ive been readin the original posters posts and seriously....girl u came to the wrong forum to tlak about ur problem....

if u really need to tlak about it talk to some people like urself not on a gursikh forum.....yeah "now im the most famous girl in ny!"... like yeah right go to some local gurdwara or a indian restaurant or something as ask if the people there know u really well ...yeah ohh they know u....

ive been in ur place welll not about the drinking and stuff but yeha everything else i have and girl ur in the wrong crowd ..and ur thinking here is totally wonrg if u really want to get back to ur amritdhari ways then u have to change the crowd u hang out with cuz there just messin up ur poor life

i totally agree with you!

the people you hang around with play a big part in who you are, ill give you a personal example!, my best friends consume alcohol etc I go out with them to restaurants and ''have a good time'' BUT I dont drink, because I know whats right and what wrong is, if you want to become like most ''sikh youth'' carry on doing your eyebrows and carry on drinking and going to second base but remember your disrespecting your father (Akali Nihang Guru Gobind Singh Maharaj!) when your hand goes to that alcohol, when you pluck your eyebrows and when you kiss a guy!)

you wanted to become a khalsa, dont turn your back on the khalsa..

one of my fav shabads...

kbIr mwrI mrau kusMg kI kyly inkit ju byir ]

kabeer maaree maro kusa(n)g kee kaelae nikatt j baer ||

Kabeer, I have been ruined and destroyed by bad company, like the banana plant near the thorn bush.

auh JUlY auh cIrIAY swkq sMgu n hyir ]88]

ouh jhoolai ouh cheereeai saakath sa(n)g n haer ||88||

The thorn bush waves in the wind, and pierces the banana plant; see this, and do not associate with the faithless cynics. ||88||

just my view sorry if i offended anyone!

caveman

[wannabe akali 3]

there a lil kids on this site that are just trying to get into sikhi, and we deff. dont need them going home and asking their parents wat each of the bases mean, and all that crap.

(p.s. in case anybody didnt know second base is, it comes after first base, and before third base)

sorry to be a ''party pooper'' but im not a little kid and i did not know what second base was until i asked a friend then i was shocked what second base was lol

its obviously not said that often

but in my opinion it shudnt be said anyway

i wasnt shocked when i found out on yahoo answers, lmao

guessed it was something like that, still totally inappropriate to say on a forum where kids like me are getting into sikhi and then seeing things like this, to add more junk into their minds.

indeed, i am old enough to legally drink (not that I do, just saying) , it was wrong saying it on this forum as there are kids from young as 13 and they would be shocked reading that crap!

exactly my point but there are kids on here even younger than that. im only 14 but i know people at age 9 that go on here :D

camps get the kids into sikhi and then they come on here

problem is people say silly things like " second base " :S

[Wicked Warrior 205]

If you crave popularity and fun, then go for it. You will see the futility of pursuing such things - they are an endlass task.

There will always be people who are more popular than you. There will always be people less popular than you.

Things change. You might enjoy the path now, but you will find that it becomes treacherous. Every person I've known to try and become popular or 'normal' has had it end in disaster and regret. Some of them refuse to carry on and become their 'normal' selves, others don't see why things are going wrong for them and keep making the same mistakes over and over again. It's like bashing your head against the wall again and again but not knowning why it hurts and complaining about the pain.

I've tried going out and socialising in clubs etc. I found it empty. I was more content alone than with 'bad' company or kusangat.

Like I said before, you've made a mistake and you're regretting it. Do you now continue on the path you're on, making the same mistakes, having the same regrets, or do you try and change things? Do you try and prevent yourself falling down again?

Before you do anything else, you need to have a deep think about your past and your future. I'm not talking about being a Sikh here, I'm talking about being a human.

[Khalsa_Girl_1 2]

i mean i understand where everyone is coming from but its hard sometimes, i mean being in high school a punjabi kuri and not doin yur eyebrows its hard, and for some reason even though i regret this i still think i will end up drinking again, i dont want people to think i dont care or that i dont want to listen to anyones advice its just that i like this lifestyle, getting my nails done, getting my eyebrows, goin out partying and chillin with friends its fun,

but when i was an amritdhari, i had a handful of friends and i barely had fun on a daily basis, i would only have fun at samagams, now i am one of the most popular girls in ny, i have guys running after me and i have friends that stand by me no matter what and who i can chill with whenever i want..

i guess my outlook on life is really wrong and i want to go back to my sikhi life cuz i think i had less stress then and i was more calm, but i have more fun now...

ive never had a boyfriend..so im not a <banned word filter activated> or anythin...and if i kissed this guy then its my first kiss and it sucks i will never remember it...

i calld the guy and i asked what happened and he said dont worry abuh it...so i ask agn do you guys think we did anything ?

thank you...

I'm being totally honest about this...

You need professional counselling.

If you're complaining about how it wasn't 'fun' when you were Amrit-dhari, then what advice do you want from people?

Honestly.. You're saying you want/need help. The things you say you want contradicts your words man..

Like I said, go seek counselling. Figure yourself out man...

You're disgusting, really. It's because of girls like you, why people think most girls are easy. Here, you're saying that you want to be a better Sikh, but you're saying you enjoy/want to continue doing the ridiculously non-Sikhi things...? Stand your ground, girl. You're so weak, it's despicable.

Yes, yes. It's very hard sometimes to not do your eyebrows and stuff.. umm.. Not!

Girl.. The more you do your eyebrows etc now, the more you're gonna regret it later on.

I've been living in a hick-town for a while, and was surrounded by white people in high school.

I didn't do my eyebrows or nothing. I wasn't trying to be popular or anything, and I was popular. Only the girls hated me. Now think about that man. Be yourself, and you'll be liked. Don't be a certain way cuz you want to be liked.

That's fake and F'n ridiculously idiotic.

The 'F you saying and the 'F you trying to prove?? It doesn't make sense how you're saying you want to get back into Sikhi, but then saying how you like doing those kinds of things.. and even saying how you think you'll do it again. You're not ready for commitment man. Do you have any self-respect or dignity? Guys are gonna come and go man. There's really no need of feeling a sense of pride when there are guys following you... Because really.. It's the ONE commitment in life on Earth that you have to pay attention to.. and that's your future husband... your soul mate.

Then, of course, is Guru ji. That's the one commitment you have to focus on spiritually.

You're insecure man.. You need help. Please go to a counselor as soon as possible.

You're saying that you feel good living that type of lifestyle..??

Ok.. Why don't you get drunk again.

Let's see how cool, popular you are when you get raped by some random guy.

I should mention the part where STD comes in... Right after the above. ^^^

If you like doing all the idiotic things, then continue.. By all means, continue.

Doesn't seem like you're serious about life, anyway.

You're just proving that you're pretty. ...lame.

I pity girls like you.. except with you.. there's nothing to sympathize about in your case. Since you chose to do things like you mentioned cuz you enjoy that lifestyle... Just doesn't make sense man.. Doesn't make sense how you're asking for help, if you're not willing enough to help yourself.

You WANT to get your eyebrows done.

(So what do you want? People hired to tell you that you look gorgeous without getting your brows done?)

You WANT to get your nails done etc. (btw.. Don't include nails in this discussion cuz it's completely different than what you're speaking of.)

You WANT to go out partying.

(So go..? What you telling us about?)

You DISLIKED being Amrit-dhari.

(Clearly, you're not ready to take Amrit again. Start off by reciting 'Wah(i)guru'.)

You BARELY had 'FUN' on a daily basis.

(w.t.f? Clearly, you do not know how to have fun then.)

You have GUYS RUNNING AFTER you.

(..uhh...okay? What's your point? That you're easy?)

You admit that your outlook on life is really wrong, and that you want to go back to your Sikhi life cuz you had less stress. (Good for you.)

But then you say that you say, again, that you have more fun now.. (Good.. for you.... ?)

...SO.. What the hell are you getting at, by posting this bs that no one cares about?...

You called him.. and he said 'don't worry about it.'

So why are you worrying? Didn't you mention your friends that stand by you no matter what?

Why don't you go to them?

AWWWWWWWWWWW I feel so sorry for you.. Losing your first kiss. Damn.. Must be hard.. Are you for real?

... Sis.. You need to understand that missing out on remembering your first kiss shouldn't make you worry about not remembering it.. but should make you worry about what situation you got yourself into. You could have been in a worse situation, and you're worried about a kiss?????

I really can't believe you called that guy. You said he was your friend! So much for the friends that stand by you no matter what, eh? Even if he was a person who acted as your best friend, he wouldn't say much after what happened between you two. (Which is despicable, of course.. cuz of the fact that you're thinking of getting back into Sikhi.. but OH WAIT!.. You want to keep your current lifestyle in motion. Just amazing, isn't it?)

what am i supposed to do now? call the guy and ask him what happened? or just let it go...

can yu answer my ques first and then tell me how to be a better sikh....thnak yu

Why would you even think of calling that guy now?!?! Is there something wrong with you?

You can become a better Sikh by

A.) Start doing Naam Simran whenever you can. Listen to it as you fall asleep.

B.) Deleting the so-called friends that 'stand by you no matter what'

C.) Stop and ask yourself what you're getting out of going out to drink etc.

D.) Get into sports etc.

E.) Start spending more time with your parents.

* F.) Understand that you, seriously, have a spychological problem.

************************************************

bloody hell, her attitude is so typical of girls of all religions nowadays. girls like that come from religous families but get bored and start doing all this stuff as teenagers up until they leave uni. after they leave uni after getting up to god knows what, they're a bit older, not as good looking and have to face the problems of being truly independent. at this point they come back into their religion and act as if they didnt know what they were doing and that everyone should forget what they got up to. they become quasi-religious and look down on those who arent as superficial about religion as they are or those who dont praise them for their 'piety'. then they demand their parents (who either had the wool pulled over their eyes or just brush what happened under the carpet) get them hitched to some naive sod who is rich (usually dentists/accountants or sometimes doctors). that poor guy ends up in a marriage to someone he thinks is really great because of what his parents were told by his prospective in-laws who are a 'good family', as they say. after getting hitched he realises what a two-faced, deceitful, 'narinder kaur'-esque nutcase she is. oh well, thats just my two pence from what i've seen happen to people 5-10 years older than me.

Sorry to burst your bubble titled 'Bashing Girls'.. but guys do the EXACT same things as girls. Then, the poor girl ends up marrying someone she thinks is really great cuz of what her parents were told by her prospective in-laws who are a 'good family', as they say. After getting 'hitched' she realizes what a two-faced, deceitful, 'narinder singh' nutcase he is.

oh well, that's just facts that we can't hide from.

Anyway..

I hope the original poster seeks a counselor soon.

...Peace

[AvnitK 85]

i agree with everything this bhenji above said and girl better read it out carefully cuz thats the truth right there and it s all in ur face and if u dont like it ..welll too bad cuz the truth always hurts

[HSD*^ 19]

bloody hell, her attitude is so typical of girls of all religions nowadays. girls like that come from religous families but get bored and start doing all this stuff as teenagers up until they leave uni. after they leave uni after getting up to god knows what, they're a bit older, not as good looking and have to face the problems of being truly independent. at this point they come back into their religion and act as if they didnt know what they were doing and that everyone should forget what they got up to. they become quasi-religious and look down on those who arent as superficial about religion as they are or those who dont praise them for their 'piety'. then they demand their parents (who either had the wool pulled over their eyes or just brush what happened under the carpet) get them hitched to some naive sod who is rich (usually dentists/accountants or sometimes doctors). that poor guy ends up in a marriage to someone he thinks is really great because of what his parents were told by his prospective in-laws who are a 'good family', as they say. after getting hitched he realises what a two-faced, deceitful, 'narinder kaur'-esque nutcase she is. oh well, thats just my two pence from what i've seen happen to people 5-10 years older than me.

Sorry to burst your bubble titled 'Bashing Girls'.. but guys do the EXACT same things as girls. Then, the poor girl ends up marrying someone she thinks is really great cuz of what her parents were told by her prospective in-laws who are a 'good family', as they say. After getting 'hitched' she realizes what a two-faced, deceitful, 'narinder singh' nutcase he is.

oh well, that's just facts that we can't hide from.

Anyway..

I hope the original poster seeks a counselor soon.

...Peace

all right sister, calm down. firstly it is not titled 'bashing girls'. maybe you should see a counsellor as your post was quite a paranoid reaction. threads about what sikh girls get up to on this forum usually appear at the rate of 2-3 a month - and each time i have said that guys do a lot of bad things as well. but that does not detract from the stuff girls get up to. read my post again. nowhere did i say it was just girls who do it. i just didnt mention what guys get up to, and trust me i know that some of them are a hell of a lot worse than any woman could be. most of my older mates who have problems happen to be guys though. maybe the women just put up with it or go a bit psycho and get their own back on their husband for lying, i dont know. but my point is that sikh girls cant hide behind this attitude that guys get up to it, so i can do what i want. the truth is that most guys dont. its just a handful - but a lot of guys brag about things they have never done. when i was at college there was a bunch of desi girls (i wont call them sikh) who got up to all sorts. and they all went on about how the guys did it so why cant we? the truth is most of the sikh guys didnt do anything like what they got up to, but it was a convenient excuse for them. if you get married and your husband turns around and says 'i lied, i actually had a lot of girlfriends, but you cant blame me, as sikh girls got up to the same things', how would you feel?

[Khalsa_Girl_1 2]

all right sister, calm down. firstly it is not titled 'bashing girls'. maybe you should see a counsellor as your post was quite a paranoid reaction. threads about what sikh girls get up to on this forum usually appear at the rate of 2-3 a month - and each time i have said that guys do a lot of bad things as well. but that does not detract from the stuff girls get up to. read my post again. nowhere did i say it was just girls who do it. i just didnt mention what guys get up to, and trust me i know that some of them are a hell of a lot worse than any woman could be. most of my older mates who have problems happen to be guys though. maybe the women just put up with it or go a bit psycho and get their own back on their husband for lying, i dont know. but my point is that sikh girls cant hide behind this attitude that guys get up to it, so i can do what i want. the truth is that most guys dont. its just a handful - but a lot of guys brag about things they have never done. when i was at college there was a bunch of desi girls (i wont call them sikh) who got up to all sorts. and they all went on about how the guys did it so why cant we? the truth is most of the sikh guys didnt do anything like what they got up to, but it was a convenient excuse for them. if you get married and your husband turns around and says 'i lied, i actually had a lot of girlfriends, but you cant blame me, as sikh girls got up to the same things', how would you feel?

Reading your post, it seemed like the bubble you were in at the time most likely had "bashing girls" written on it. Sorry if you think that's absurd.. but the things you said made it seem like you were.. looking down on females.. thinking that they were the only ones to do/go through stupid things/times.

If that wasn't/isn't how you feel, then you should reread your first statement:

...bloody hell, her attitude is so typical of girls of all religions nowadays....

That's your first quote right there man..

Now you tell me.. Isn't that directly pointing at all girls?.. It's kind of right in that sentence. Now if that's not an example of bashing girls; what is??

**************************

all right sister, calm down. firstly it is not titled 'bashing girls'. maybe you should see a counselor as your post was quite a paranoid reaction.

I don't need to calm down. I'm pretty calm.

And I don't need to see a counselor just because YOU think my post was 'quite a paranoid reaction'.

I'm not paranoid.

I'm just quite disgusted and annoyed by the things the the original poster mentioned because she says she wants to get into Sikhi... but then says she wants to continue living the way she knows is wrong. Don't you find that a little sad?

Maybe you don't understand how I feel because I'm an Amrit-dhari girl, just like she used to be.

For me, knowing that she's an Amrit-dhari girl who...

(a.) wants to get back into Sikhi but

(b.) wishes to keep the same no-good lifestyle she knows is wrong,

(c.) thinks it's no fun being an Amrit-dhari

(d.) wants to do all the things girls feel pressured to do in todays society

(e.) disliked being an Amrit-dhari

(f.) thinks it's amazing/cool having guys run after her

(g.) thinks it's so hard to be an Amrit-dhari girl schooling in america...

is annoying.

I'm just being honest, because I don't think her "friends" will be.

My paranoia shouldn't be bothering you anyway, right?

I'm just trying to be honest with the original poster cuz I'm sure the people around her are dishonest.

I'm just trying to help her man..

But if you see my brutal honesty as a sign for me needing a counseling, then I can say that you get affected by things too easily. I don't need to see a counselor.

You think I should see a counselor just because I was being honest in my post to help her out?

Think about that man.. You're not making sense.

Like I said.. I'm trying to help her.

I don't know where you got the idea of me needing help. :S

************************

read my post again. nowhere did i say it was just girls who do it.

Maybe YOU should read your own post again.

bloody hell, her attitude is so typical of girls of all religions nowadays.

If you didn't mean for it to seem like you think only girls behave this way, then it wasn't necessary for you to say "typical of all girls of all religions nowadays"..

To me, you clearly pointed at ALL girls of ALL religions.

If I were to say "It's so typical for guys of all religions to ____________" , maybe then you would understand how I feel about you saying certain things about girls.. Doesn't make sense.

You used the words 'TYPICAL', 'GIRLS', 'ALL' 'religions'..

I only pointed out what you, yourself, had stated.

But if you think that I got the wrong idea, about you not feeling the same way for guys, then please replace the word 'girls' with 'guys' and maybe you'll understand why I had a "paranoid" reaction.

You're contradicting yourself. If you don't view certain actions as 'TYPICAL' of 'ALL' 'GIRLS' of 'ALL' religions.. Then you should have spoken about people in general.. instead of CLEARLY using those words.

************************

...i just didnt mention what guys get up to, and trust me i know that some of them are a hell of a lot worse than any woman could be. most of my older mates who have problems happen to be guys though...

Why didn't you mention that guys are the same/worse? (Even though we all know that.)

After reading your previous post, I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought you were bashing girls. (Especially after reading your very first comments.)

So it's cool.. knowing that you don't feel this certain way about girls only. (Your previous post, however, was very misleading though.)

...but my point is that sikh girls cant hide behind this attitude that guys get up to it, 'so i can do what i want'...

That wasn't mentioned in this thread. The original poster never mentioned anything that would indicate she believes she can do what she wants because guys do it.

You're clearly not familiar with how girls think. Almost all girls who do those kinds of things don't do it because guys do it...

They do it because society does it. In the west, guys and girls do the same thing. It's not about a girl being rebellious.

Girls aren't hiding behind an attitude like "Oh but if guys can do it, so can I." This is the west we're talking about.

The original poster never said she wanted to do things cuz guys do it. She said just said she finds her current lifestyle fun.. :S

...the truth is that most guys dont. its just a handful...

OMG OMG OMG OMG!

Did you know..??? The truth is that most girls don't either. It's just a handful.

Just like guys...

I hope I've proven my (original) point here.

************************

...but a lot of guys brag about things they have never done. when i was at college there was a bunch of desi girls (i wont call them sikh) who got up to all sorts. and they all went on about how the guys did it so why cant we? the truth is most of the sikh guys didnt do anything like what they got up to, but it was a convenient excuse for them...

Let me narrow that down...

...but a lot of guys brag about things they have never done...a bunch of desi girls / all went on about how the guys did it so why cant we? the truth is most of the sikh guys didnt do anything like what they got up to, but it was a convenient excuse for them.

You're saying that guys brag about doing things that they never did. That's understandable cuz that's how it usually goes. Then you mention how girls do things just cuz guys do them..

You say that the girls are using this as a convenient excuse for themselves..????

And could please prove how most sikh guys didn't do anything like what they got up to?

Were you right there, witnessing what the guys/girls did/didn't do???

Buddy, buddy.. Listen to yourself. You're clearly biased... :|

Besides.. To say that "girls went on about how the guys did stuff, so why can't they" ...isn't really making a point. (Especially in this thread.)

Girls are bragging the same way the guys are..

Everyone's the same man..

|||__Girls and guys__||| They're the same when it comes to bragging about these sort of things. It's what people do when they feel the need to belong, or be the same as the rest.

It's peer pressure, that's all.

Everyone goes through it.. but whether it affects a person positively or negatively, is up solely up to the individual.

As I pointed out earlier.. The original poster never mentioned anything that would indicate she believes she can do what she wants because guys do it.

She's doing it because of peer pressure.

..........(Why are you relating this sort of thing to her thread anyway???)

I can't feel sympathetic towards her though. That's because instead of peer pressure coming directly from her peers.. SHE'S the one who is putting pressure on herself to fit in the crowd. It's just a different way of experiencing peer pressure. (In her case, a pathetic way.. cuz she's the cause of it.)

She feels the need to belong. She feels insecure.

I MEAN HELLO?!?! SHE CLEARLY FEELS GOOD ABOUT HERSELF BEING CHASED BY GUYS AND FEELS BETTER ABOUT HERSELF FITTING INTO THE GROUP OF GIRLS WHO PUT BEAUTY BEFORE MANY OTHER THINGS..!!

That's why I said she needs help. Seriously.. She needs help.

I'm not being rude about it.. I'm not trying to make her feel bad.

I'm simply trying to put it out there in most blunt way possible because a lot of times, people are too caught up in the thought that "everyone's doing the same things as me, so they need help too."

Her situation is a little.. different.

She really doesn't realize the psychological reasoning for her thinking.

She needs to change the way she thinks.

She's mentally stable, but has a weak mindset.

I'm just trying to help her out man.. Cuz she says she knows her way of thinking is wrong.

When a person knows she/he has a negative mindset but still wishes to continue doing things that follow that mindset.. the person needs psychological treatment. It doesn't mean she's psycho.

She just has a weak psychological stand.

And trust me.. I do NOT need to see a counselor.

************************

...if you get married and your husband turns around and says 'i lied, i actually had a lot of girlfriends, but you cant blame me, as sikh girls got up to the same things', how would you feel?...

I would feel disgusted and beat him up for thinking that it was okay for him to say that.

I'm glad we're on the same page concerning the issue of girls/guys doing things just because guys/girls do.

************************

Anyway............................

It's obvious that she doesn't want to help herself.

She knows what she needs, but doesn't want to help herself.

She needs counseling because she doesn't know what she wants.

***********

...Again.. I DON'T need counseling.

...peace

PS..

I don't understand what you meant by:

...maybe the women just put up with it or go a bit psycho and get their own back on their husband for lying, i dont know...

Women go psycho huh?.. but what exactly did you mean by ‘to a bit psycho and get their own back on their husband for lying?

[HSD*^ 19]

That's your first quote right there man..

Now you tell me.. Isn't that directly pointing at all girls?.. It's kind of right in that sentence. Now if that's not an example of bashing girls; what is??

lol, i said girls (as a plural as there is more than one), and i said all religions. the reason i said that is because muslimahs and catholic/jewish girls do the same kind of thing. some guys do bad stuff as well but what they do is not identical. i hope you understand.

I'm just quite disgusted and annoyed by the things the the original poster mentioned because she says she wants to get into Sikhi... but then says she wants to continue living the way she knows is wrong. Don't you find that a little sad?

Maybe you don't understand how I feel because I'm an Amrit-dhari girl, just like she used to be.

For me, knowing that she's an Amrit-dhari girl who...

(a.) wants to get back into Sikhi but

(b.) wishes to keep the same no-good lifestyle she knows is wrong,

(c.) thinks it's no fun being an Amrit-dhari

(d.) wants to do all the things girls feel pressured to do in todays society

(e.) disliked being an Amrit-dhari

(f.) thinks it's amazing/cool having guys run after her

(g.) thinks it's so hard to be an Amrit-dhari girl schooling in america...

is annoying.

I'm just being honest, because I don't think her "friends" will be.

it is sad, but i've seen this happen to people, and once they lose faith or get greedy, they wont realise what they've done until they crash. one of my friends went completely off the rails once and we all tried to help him. but he threw it back in our faces and was just totally unreasonable. it was only until he realised he couldnt have a bad lifestyle/attitude and be a good person that he changed.

My paranoia shouldn't be bothering you anyway, right?

I'm just trying to be honest with the original poster cuz I'm sure the people around her are dishonest.

I'm just trying to help her man..

But if you see my brutal honesty as a sign for me needing a counseling, then I can say that you get affected by things too easily. I don't need to see a counselor.

You think I should see a counselor just because I was being honest in my post to help her out?

Think about that man.. You're not making sense.

Like I said.. I'm trying to help her.

I don't know where you got the idea of me needing help. :S

lol, your reply to my post wasnt really going to help her was it? if anything it gives her the excuse to say 'if sikh guys do it (and even if they dont), i can do what i want!'.

If you didn't mean for it to seem like you think only girls behave this way, then it wasn't necessary for you to say "typical of all girls of all religions nowadays"..

To me, you clearly pointed at ALL girls of ALL religions.

If I were to say "It's so typical for guys of all religions to ____________" , maybe then you would understand how I feel about you saying certain things about girls.. Doesn't make sense.

You used the words 'TYPICAL', 'GIRLS', 'ALL' 'religions'..

I only pointed out what you, yourself, had stated.

But if you think that I got the wrong idea, about you not feeling the same way for guys, then please replace the word 'girls' with 'guys' and maybe you'll understand why I had a "paranoid" reaction.

You're contradicting yourself. If you don't view certain actions as 'TYPICAL' of 'ALL' 'GIRLS' of 'ALL' religions.. Then you should have spoken about people in general.. instead of CLEARLY using those words.

if i had said 'all girls of all religions', then your reasoning would be correct. but i didnt. once again i was not aiming that comment at all girls.

Why didn't you mention that guys are the same/worse? (Even though we all know that.)

After reading your previous post, I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought you were bashing girls. (Especially after reading your very first comments.)

So it's cool.. knowing that you don't feel this certain way about girls only. (Your previous post, however, was very misleading though.)

i'm sorry but i really think you need to read things properly. this is what i said: 'i just didnt mention what guys get up to, and trust me i know that some of them are a hell of a lot worse than any woman could be.'

so i did mention it. also i have only posted twice on this thread. so maybe you should be clearer about what posts you are reffering to.

That wasn't mentioned in this thread. The original poster never mentioned anything that would indicate she believes she can do what she wants because guys do it.

You're clearly not familiar with how girls think. Almost all girls who do those kinds of things don't do it because guys do it...

They do it because society does it. In the west, guys and girls do the same thing. It's not about a girl being rebellious.

Girls aren't hiding behind an attitude like "Oh but if guys can do it, so can I." This is the west we're talking about.

The original poster never said she wanted to do things cuz guys do it. She said just said she finds her current lifestyle fun.. :S

yes, but when someone asks 'why did you do it?' the answer is usually about blaming guys.

You're saying that guys brag about doing things that they never did. That's understandable cuz that's how it usually goes. Then you mention how girls do things just cuz guys do them..

You say that the girls are using this as a convenient excuse for themselves..????

And could please prove how most sikh guys didn't do anything like what they got up to?

Were you right there, witnessing what the guys/girls did/didn't do???

Buddy, buddy.. Listen to yourself. You're clearly biased... mellow.gif

Besides.. To say that "girls went on about how the guys did stuff, so why can't they" ...isn't really making a point. (Especially in this thread.)

Girls are bragging the same way the guys are..

Everyone's the same man..

|||__Girls and guys__||| They're the same when it comes to bragging about these sort of things. It's what people do when they feel the need to belong, or be the same as the rest.

It's peer pressure, that's all.

Everyone goes through it.. but whether it affects a person positively or negatively, is up solely up to the individual.

As I pointed out earlier.. The original poster never mentioned anything that would indicate she believes she can do what she wants because guys do it.

She's doing it because of peer pressure.

..........(Why are you relating this sort of thing to her thread anyway???)

maybe because the religous-girl-goes-wild-then-pretends-to-come-back-to-faith thing is all too common nowadays.

I can't feel sympathetic towards her though. That's because instead of peer pressure coming directly from her peers.. SHE'S the one who is putting pressure on herself to fit in the crowd. It's just a different way of experiencing peer pressure. (In her case, a pathetic way.. cuz she's the cause of it.)

She feels the need to belong. She feels insecure.

I MEAN HELLO?!?! SHE CLEARLY FEELS GOOD ABOUT HERSELF BEING CHASED BY GUYS AND FEELS BETTER ABOUT HERSELF FITTING INTO THE GROUP OF GIRLS WHO PUT BEAUTY BEFORE MANY OTHER THINGS..!!

That's why I said she needs help. Seriously.. She needs help.

I'm not being rude about it.. I'm not trying to make her feel bad.

and god help her family and future husband/inlaws/children.

I do NOT need to see a counselor.

alright, alright, i wasnt going to force you.

I DON'T need counseling.

:|

PS..

I don't understand what you meant by:

...maybe the women just put up with it or go a bit psycho and get their own back on their husband for lying, i dont know...

Women go psycho huh?.. but what exactly did you mean by 'to a bit psycho and get their own back on their husband for lying?

i meant something along the lines of what's below:

...if you get married and your husband turns around and says 'i lied, i actually had a lot of girlfriends, but you cant blame me, as sikh girls got up to the same things', how would you feel?...

I would feel disgusted and beat him up for thinking that it was okay for him to say that.

I'm glad we're on the same page concerning the issue of girls/guys doing things just because guys/girls do.

[Guest Guest]

to all of the responses above, the best way to guide someone in the right direction is with love.

[Khalsa_Girl_1 2]

I hope my reasoning can be understood after reading the following.. :|

.......

lol, i said girls (as a plural as there is more than one), and i said all religions. the reason i said that is because muslimahs and catholic/jewish girls do the same kind of thing. some guys do bad stuff as well but what they do is not identical. i hope you understand.

I was pointing out the fact that you came across as a person who believes girls do more inappropriate things than guys.

So I wanted to make clear, the fact that guys and girls equally behave inappropriately.

If you agree to the fact that guys and girls are equally wrong in today's society, then why do you insist on expressing yourself in ways that seem sexist?

I mean.. You did it again in your last post that I'm replying to right now:

"...the reason i said that is because muslimahs and catholic/jewish girls do the same kind of thing. some guys do bad stuff as well but what they do is not identical. i hope you understand."

I mean.. This is exactly what I pointing out in my previous post.

You say "...MUSLIMAHS AND CATHOLIC/JEWISH GIRLS..." and then you say

"...SOME GUYS..."

Hmm.... If that isn't contradicting yourself (yet, again).. What is..?

*****When stating two opinions after another, they should know how to put together/differenciate the two.

If I said:

"Guys are stupid." "Some girls are stupid."

How would people will interpret that? Won't people think I believe that, while guys are stupid, just "some" girls are stupid..?

Saying only the word 'guys', I would be talking about guys in general. Using 'some girls', I would be talking about certain individuals.

Clearly, I'd be stating different opinions on the two subjects.

Like I mentioned before..

If you don't believe girls are worse/more likely to do inappropriate things, then you why do you CLEARLY use different words for the two genders when expressing your views?...

I'm really just trying to point out the fact that you come across as a person who believes girls do more inappropriate things than guys..

I wanted to make clear, the fact that guys and girls equally behave inappropriately.

If you agree to the fact that guys and girls are equally wrong in today's society, then why do you insist on using statements that seem sexist? :6

......

I'm sorry.. but I don't understand why you continue to contradict yourself.

I don't think my reasoning can be any clearer than what you, yourself, stated..

GIRLS ...and then... SOME GUYS

**********

it is sad, but i've seen this happen to people, and once they lose faith or get greedy, they wont realise what they've done until they crash. one of my friends went completely off the rails once and we all tried to help him. but he threw it back in our faces and was just totally unreasonable. it was only until he realised he couldnt have a bad lifestyle/attitude and be a good person that he changed.

Do you doubt that the original poster can change? :umm:

**********

...lol, your reply to my post wasnt really going to help her was it? if anything it gives her the excuse to say 'if sikh guys do it (and even if they dont), i can do what i want!'. ...

...lol... That post was just for you, actually. :lol:

It offends girls when someone thinks of us like you do. (Your posts make it seem like you believe girls worse when it comes to 'right or wrong' anyway.. That's what I was trying to point out.)

Clearly, I was responding to your comments.

...

You're prejudging again.

As I mentioned in my previous post.. She didn't give a hint of that thought.

People (girls) in the west don't use senseless methods.. like using that excuse.. to do what they want. That would be ridiculous.

For you to think that I was GIVING her an excuse just blows my mind man..

Please reread this statement I posted earlier:

..The original poster never said she wanted to do things cuz guys do it. She said just said she finds her current lifestyle fun.. :S ..

I think you should have more faith in her. At least she realizes that she's wrong.

**********

if i had said 'all girls of all religions', then your reasoning would be correct. but i didnt. once again i was not aiming that comment at all girls.

I'm glad to hear that you weren't aiming that comment at all girls.. but.. like I said..

***If you SERIOUSLY don't believe there's a difference between the two, then PLEASE don't express your views by focusing on ONE of the genders. .. You shouldn't have focused on one gender..

(Would've been cool if you didn't) but you DID, therefore leaving an impression that you didn't want left of you; Me thinking you are sexist. I think it's reasonable for one to think someone is sexist when she/he focuses on the negative characteristics of certain individuals of just ONE gender.

***When I read your first post, ONLY read negative comments about GIRLS of all religions.

That made it seem like you view all girls the same way.

It just doesn't make any sense man. As I mentioned earlier...

***If you think girls and guys are equally immature/stupid these days, then your choice of words were incorrect and misleading.

You stated:

"...but i didnt. once again i was not aiming that comment at all girls. ..."

Then you COULD HAVE stated it in a different way.. For example:

"..her attitude is so typical of people (of all religions) nowadays."

However, you didn't.

So please say what you mean, and mean what you say. Otherwise, it confuses people and, in this case, may make some some people think you're sexist.

I'm really sorry if you view my opinion of you being a sexist is incorrect.. but by going over certain statements you made, I hope you understand why I think you are.

**********

i'm sorry but i really think you need to read things properly. this is what i said: 'i just didnt mention what guys get up to, and trust me i know that some of them are a hell of a lot worse than any woman could be.'

Yes.. Well I corrected myself later:

...After reading your previous post, I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought you were bashing girls. (Especially after reading your very first comments.)

So it's cool.. knowing that you don't feel this certain way about girls only. (Your previous post, however, was very misleading though.)

Your first post left the wrong impression..and it was your first post I was getting at. (Where you only mentioned negative aspects of girls, while sympathizing with the "poor" guys.)

I think you should reread your first post as well.

You sympathize with what guys go through.. Although girls go through the same things.

So why?? Why use examples that only apply to one gender? :6

That (first) post of yours is the reason why I believed you are sexist.

After reading that post again, you're not seriously blaming for me having that opinion of you; are you? :umm:

**********

...also i have only posted twice on this thread. so maybe you should be clearer about what posts you are reffering to. ...

I WAS pretty clear about what posts I was referring to.

I know you had only posted once.. and I pointed that out:

...After reading your previous post...

**********

yes, but when someone asks 'why did you do it?' the answer is usually about blaming guys.

:6 I don't know what kind of community you live in.. but I don't know of ANY girl who used that as an excuse.

That's absurd.

The only place girls use that as an excuse is a place where they have little/no rights.. cuz they are oppressed and feel the need to gain equal rights. That's how all equal rights are given anyway...

However, in Canada and America.. That's NOT the case.

Whoever uses that excuse is an i.d.i.o.t. and needs to get a life..

**********

... ..........(Why are you relating this sort of thing to her thread anyway???)...

maybe because the religous-girl-goes-wild-then-pretends-to-come-back-to-faith thing is all too common nowadays.

..but you agree that the "religious-boy-goes-wild-then-pretends-to-come-back-to-faith thing" is equally as common nowadays, right?

**********

I do NOT need to see a counselor.

-------

I DON'T need counseling.

alright, alright, i wasnt going to force you.

----

:|

I'm glad I don't have to be fearful.

Well.. I hope I'm understood now.

Sorry if offended you. I was just responding according to my opinion: Your first post made it seem like you're sexist.

Anyway... I hope that girl realizes that she needs psychological treatment.

[Khalsa_Girl_1 2]

i agree with everything this bhenji above said and girl better read it out carefully cuz thats the truth right there and it s all in ur face and if u dont like it ..welll too bad cuz the truth always hurts

Yeah.. I'm really hoping she understands her situation and condition.

It's not like her so-called friends who stick by her no matter what will help her anyway..

I wonder if she even thought about that...

If they really DID stick by her no matter what, then why would she ask for peoples' opinions online?

She's asking for help from people she doesn't know ANYTHING about.. and yet says she has these friends who stick by her no matter what

That's F'd in my opinion.

After reading her first 2 posts, I can't believe she was worried about her first kiss.. :6

[JiwanSingh7072 3]

i agree with everything this bhenji above said and girl better read it out carefully cuz thats the truth right there and it s all in ur face and if u dont like it ..welll too bad cuz the truth always hurts

Yeah.. I'm really hoping she understands her situation and condition.

It's not like her so-called friends who stick by her no matter what will help her anyway..

I wonder if she even thought about that...

If they really DID stick by her no matter what, then why would she ask for peoples' opinions online?

She's asking for help from people she doesn't know ANYTHING about.. and yet says she has these friends who stick by her no matter what

That's F'd in my opinion.

After reading her first 2 posts, I can't believe she was worried about her first kiss.. :6

Request to mods... I think Khalsa_Girl_1 bhenjee has summed it all up for the original poster, so let's close this thread :D

[Hershi 0]

Vaheguru... This is sad. Being an amritdharee and totally turning your back towards gurujee, how did it feel? He did so much kirpa on you to even get the opportunity to taste his nectar and we totally ignore him. If you think you did not have 'fun' while you were being gurujees daughter, then you should really think about what your goal is in this life. What do you want to do? Continue in fake bliss or go back on our beloved guru's path? I know that it is mainly the SANGAT you are around and hanging with ... you choose your freinds .. it all depends on what ur mind finds "fun" All these gurmukh pyare consider their true freind Gurusahib himself and im sure that they have thier "freind" whenever they are in need. Bhen, if you think doing ur eyebrows and waxing is what makes you happy, a fake roop then i dont know ... Think about how ur attitude was when you were preparing for amrit.. how much excitment there was.. the rehat the happiness the peacefulness ..... now think about the opposite excitment ur having now ... panful eyebrow threading, trying hard to fit in by copying others to be "popular" no offense but ur "popular" in the wrong crowd... iF you EVER want to go back and need support message me we can do amritvelaa calls rehraas ..anything .. im here to help 24/7 .. i think its time to turn around and talk to gurujee again ... he was standing behind u the whole time .. the only true "freind" u'll ever have