Why Does Bride's Family Pay For Wedding?

[Guest Guest]

If their is equality in sikhi and np dowry then how come, bride's parents must pay for the wedding? I believe it should be 50/50 but my sister's soon to be in laws want us to pay for the wedding and then gift their family members gold, etc. I know it is an old tradition from when it was thought to be like dowry that the groom gets "payment" for being the one that now has to take care of the bride but seriously, this is old fashioned and just cultural, not religious.

The in laws r very religious but this is annoying. they keep saying, we want good food, good entertainment, this and that but aren't willing to pay even a little. they r in uk btw not india so i would have assumed they left behind this old mentality and moved on to the 21st century but i guess not.

my question: is this something that is cultural or according to sikhi? my parents don't want to force them to pay b/c they say they would treat my sister badly later on. I told my sis to find a guy on her own that is willing to leave on his own, not with parents as she is really stressed and unhappy about this.

Punjabi's r unfair and hypocritical. one on hand they say they r religious then they still want to be punjabi but lots of punjabi things don;t go hand in hand with religion. a lot of the traditions and cultures r sexist, etc.

anyways, rant over!

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

If their is equality in sikhi and np dowry then how come, bride's parents must pay for the wedding? I believe it should be 50/50 but my sister's soon to be in laws want us to pay for the wedding and then gift their family members gold, etc. I know it is an old tradition from when it was thought to be like dowry that the groom gets "payment" for being the one that now has to take care of the bride but seriously, this is old fashioned and just cultural, not religious.

The in laws r very religious but this is annoying. they keep saying, we want good food, good entertainment, this and that but aren't willing to pay even a little. they r in uk btw not india so i would have assumed they left behind this old mentality and moved on to the 21st century but i guess not.

my question: is this something that is cultural or according to sikhi? my parents don't want to force them to pay b/c they say they would treat my sister badly later on. I told my sis to find a guy on her own that is willing to leave on his own, not with parents as she is really stressed and unhappy about this.

Punjabi's r unfair and hypocritical. one on hand they say they r religious then they still want to be punjabi but lots of punjabi things don;t go hand in hand with religion. a lot of the traditions and cultures r sexist, etc.

anyways, rant over!

they are clearly not sikhs then, they must be punjabis, guru gobind singh ji clearly tells us that dowry and what not is NOT accpeted amongst sikhs ( along with those who kill their daughters etc etc) so cut ties wtih these ppl, if theyre asking for this much already, shes goan have problems in her marraige and im telling u that today, your parents are the ones responsible for this insight, they dont need a young youth like me to say something like this, its something they should know..

all in all, not a good impression at all

yes culture is unfair, but sikhism is the most just and fair religion in the world, period.

[Guest sikhirulz]

so what do u all think, weddings should be paid for 50/50 to be fair?

[Guest Guest]

Facts & Reality Check

Unless you are independant, you really don't have a say in finding your own life partner.

Majority of people are married only due to their parents financial standing, status in society and Non-Indian passport.

No parent is willingly giving money or share in property to their daughter if they have a son. So what Equality are we talking about ?

Want to really change the tradition then go for a Ghar Jamai (live-in groom).

Marriage or not, all Sansari people are traders (calculate give & take, gain or loss).

That is why you find millions of listings on matrimonial sites. Remember that websites are used only by educated, not others. So the actual number of singles looking for a marriage partner would be a billion across the globe.

Are you competitive enough ?

[Guest papi]

my question: is this something that is cultural or according to sikhi?

It is purely cultural.

Unless you are independant, you really don't have a say in finding your own life partner.

Why would you want to get married if you have not stood up on your feet?!

Majority of people are married only due to their parents financial standing, status in society and Non-Indian passport.

True

No parent is willingly giving money or share in property to their daughter if they have a son. So what Equality are we talking about ?

True

Want to really change the tradition then go for a Ghar Jamai (live-in groom).

Hmm interesting idea. Although, I do believe strongly that this will be an extremely tough thing to do, regardless if parents are religious or not.

Marriage or not, all Sansari people are traders (calculate give & take, gain or loss).

I like the way you think.

Are you competitive enough ?

I am not =( and that has been proven time and again

yes culture is unfair, but sikhism is the most just and fair religion in the world, period.

Correction, culture is not always unfair, there are a lot of nice things in our culture as well and unfortunately we are losing a lot of them today. As with everything in the world, there are positives and negatives.

so what do u all think, weddings should be paid for 50/50 to be fair?

Without a doubt costs should be shared between both families. However, that will be tough as both sides have their own individual functions. I just saw a wedding this past weekend and I could easily see how things can get expensive, very expensive. It would be best if costs were shared for all the common events.

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

so what do u all think, weddings should be paid for 50/50 to be fair?

Yes...since SIKHI TEACHES EQUALITY!! :lol:

yes culture is unfair, but sikhism is the most just and fair religion in the world, period.

Correction, culture is not always unfair, there are a lot of nice things in our culture as well and unfortunately we are losing a lot of them today. As with everything in the world, there are positives and negatives.

What are these nice things within the Punjabi culture, that the Sikh religion does not necessarily teach/promote etc?

[Guest Guest]

Since Sikhi teaches EQUALITY then get a Ghar Jamai.

[Guest annakhi]

but some girls use equality to do things against punjabi culture, such as girls drinking!!!

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

but some girls use equality to do things against punjabi culture, such as girls drinking!!!

a sikh uses equality and lives by the teachings of our gurus so that doesnt apply to sikhs...a bandar will always try to justify its wrongful doings.

[Guest Papi]

Since Sikhi teaches EQUALITY then get a Ghar Jamai.

Yes Sikhi teaches equality but we don't live in a Sikh world now do we.

Things are never as simple as a lot of what I can only say are kids on this forum seem to think. The one very big problem with ghar jamai is that in our culture once you become one, folks stop treating you with respect! I have seen this happen to someone myself, its completely wrong but lets not turn a blind eye to the truth In some cases even the girl's parents don't treat their ghar jamai with respect! Believe it or not, even amritdhari Sikhs do this, oh how shocking eh!!!

From what I know, in most (if not all) cultures in the world, its the bride that moves in with the groom, not the other way around. I am not saying one can not be a ghar jamai, all I am trying to do is shed some light on the outcome of becoming one. If someone can deal with being disrespected over small things and rise above it, then by all means MORE POWER TO THEM!!!

Please stop thinking about the ideal world proposed by Guru Sahibaan's as an isolated social entity. Yes we have to strive to get there but we can only start from this corrupt, unjust, lie of a society we live in today.