Indian Wedding Dowry ~~~ Fin ~~~ Or No

[Amrit79]

Hi last week I was at my sisters friends wedding Ontario Canada. I was talking to my sister she told me the that there was at least $50000.00 worth or dowry being passed from the her friends family to the house she's going to.

Do you think thats fin or wrong.

[KEERPA]

its lame. A body is not worth any money no matter how rich a person is, celebrity or poor the body has no monetary value. I knew a hmong guy who had to buy his wife for $20000.00 and has to work very hard to pay his uncle back the loan etc.

[Amrit79]

I'm lost

buy his wife back ?????? Did he sell her??? Wants her back ???? Can you sell people ??? Do people buy people ??? Do uncles buy wife's ???? Whats with the loan ??

[KEERPA]

He wanted to get married so he needed to buy his wife for $20000.00 and in order to buy her he had to borrow twenty grand from his uncle. Yes he bought her from her family(not joking he bought her)

[AmarjitKaur]

its lame. A body is not worth any money no matter how rich a person is, celebrity or poor the body has no monetary value. I knew a hmong guy who had to buy his wife for $20000.00 and has to work very hard to pay his uncle back the loan etc.

Veerji, dont we need to now think about choice of words. Think before you eat/do/say/write something. Not that I am in anyway in favour of Dowry, but I may want to put it in better words. BUY HIS WIFE??????????????? Man, can we learn to respect the females. I do understand what u trying to say but don't agree with your choice of words.

[KEERPA]

OK he actually "BOUGHT" his wife. Me and my wife talked to him about it, he himself said BUY. I know what Im saying I thought before I said this, and again "HE BOUGHT his wife". If you want me to reword it I guess i can. I respect females and actually my wife has more say than I do (and sometimes she abuses that right but I still give her all the say) I dont disrespect females by relaying this actual fact that a hmong guy I used to work with BOUGHT his wife. Maybe some people have personal grudges against what I say most of the time, but this is ridiculous. I guess if you got the guys phone number youll still blame me when he tells you its hmong tradition to ""BUY" your wife from her family. :rolleyes: Come on and lets not be either racist or prejudice now. :6

[Tera]

Personally, I think that the whole concept of dowry/'gifts' is wrong on soo many levels...

Sikhi wise - it is totally rejected and should not be done...

ਕੰਨਿਆ ਦੇਵੈ ਸਿਖ ਕੋ ਲੇਵੈ ਨਹਿ ਕਿਛੁ ਦਾਮ । ਸੋਈ ਮੇਰਾ ਸਿਖ ਹੈ ਪਹੁਚੇ ਗੁਰ ਕੇ ਧਾਮ ।

"Sri Guru Gobind Singh Jee says, the Sikh that marry's his daughter to a Sikh, and does not take any money, He

is a true Sikh of mine and will reach my abode in Sachkand." (Bhai Sahib Singh Rehatnama p.160)

Sri Guru Raam Daas Ji in Siree Raag on Ang 78 of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee says:

ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥

O my father, give me the Name of the Lord God as my wedding gift and dowry.

ਹਰਿ ਕਪੜੋ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਜਿਤੁ ਸਵਰੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਕਾਜੋ ॥

Give me the Lord as my wedding gown, and the Lord as my glory, to accomplish my works.

ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤੀ ਕਾਜੁ ਸੁਹੇਲਾ ਗੁਰਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਿ ਦਾਨੁ ਦਿਵਾਇਆ ॥

Through devotional worship to the Lord, this ceremony is made blissful and beautiful; the Guru, the True Guru, has given this gift.

ਖੰਡਿ ਵਰਭੰਡਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਹੋਈ ਇਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਨ ਰਲੈ ਰਲਾਇਆ ॥

Across the continents, and throughout the Universe, the Lord's Glory is pervading. This gift is not diminished by being diffused among all.

ਹੋਰਿ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਦਾਜੁ ਜਿ ਰਖਿ ਦਿਖਾਲਹਿ ਸੁ ਕੂੜੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਕਚੁ ਪਾਜੋ ॥

Any other dowry, which the self-willed manmukhs offer for show, is only false egotism and a worthless display.

ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥4॥

O my father, please give me the Name of the Lord God as my wedding gift and dowry. ||4||

The Damdami Taksal Rehat Maryada even states that anyone 'who receive money for the marriage of their daughters and take dowry' should not be associated with at all.

[Amrit79]

He wanted to get married so he needed to buy his wife for $20000.00 and in order to buy her he had to borrow twenty grand from his uncle. Yes he bought her from her family(not joking he bought her)

Dam .................. sad seeing stuff like this happens and the family is fine with it, just sad !

[S1ngh]

In Vietnamese culture, boys party pay for all marriage expense (to do that he may have taken the loan from others just like many do).. Exactly like Punjabi culture where girl side arrange everything (expense).

Hi last week I was at my sisters friends wedding Ontario Canada. I was talking to my sister she told me the that there was at least $50000.00 worth or dowry being passed from the her friends family to the house she's going to.

If the boy side (parents) particularly demanded for dowry or any money then YES that is VERY Wrong and nobody should do rishta in such parivaar. Believe me that happens a lot ! But if girl side is doing all of this on their own then i don't see anything wrong..

[KEERPA]

She is actually fine with it (as it is tradition) she doesnt feel married away to some evil knight like on a movie etc, they are actually really nice. Whats funny is they tried to make fun of me dressing as a Sikh but they both wear normal clothes and on the wedding they dressed up as traditional hmong clothes (which in the US looks very strange compared to the hiphop style clothes) and I said "and you think I dress funny, I wear this 99% of the time while you wore that for a few hours of your entire life". Im not saying they are bad or anything but if you compare their rap style with the traditional dresses of both men and women youll know that he had to of felt "wierd' wearing his outfit for those few hours then after wearing the normal hiphop clothes driving his brand new toyota truckogle the hmong traditional dress of men/women to see what Im talking about, and they were trying to make fun of me hehehe