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Jag_Singh
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well in your driving example, the problem doesnt really lie with you, its the friends who have an tendency to become jealous, and maybe it might be a blessing that they decide to ignore you for a while, but imagine the reverse of the situation and how the person would feel having found out that you didnt want them to know, or you kept it to themselves. You shouldnt feel ashamed of telling the truth, but the only thing i would say is that sometimes when a person tells others of his achievments he may appear to be big headed, or people may percieve him as being a show off.

its a good topic you've started, i look forward to seeing what the sangat says.

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Just focusing on that example. Its all about social responsibility if we take a commonsensical stance – people are seldom happy with others success – that’s common sense – esp in Punjabi circles, most fallings out and misdeeds occur because of sibling rivalry in one way, shape of form.

Guru keeps us away from these dangers by telling us to be simple, talk less, eat less and sleep less. These hukums contain vast gyaan and power in life – and serve as protection against the negative forces in man.

Guru Sahib says:

ਸੁਖ ਕਉ ਮਾਗੈ ਸਭੁ ਕੋ ਦੁਖੁ ਮਾਗੈ ਕੋਇ

Everyone begs for happiness; no one asks for suffering.

ਸੁਖੈ ਕਉ ਦੁਖੁ ਅਗਲਾ ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਬੂਝ ਹੋਇ

But in the wake of happiness, there comes great suffering. The self-willed manmukhs do not understand this.

<A href="http://www.srigranth.org/servlet/gurbani.dictionary?Param=ਸੁਖ">ਸੁਖ ਦੁਖ ਸਮ ਕਰਿ ਜਾਣੀਅਹਿ ਸਬਦਿ ਭੇਦਿ ਸੁਖੁ ਹੋਇ ॥੫॥

Those who see pain and pleasure as one and the same find peace; they are pierced through by the Shabad. ||

We don’t need to show our joy for secular/wordly success – reserve your joy for having darshan of the ‘ones’ charan.

I know this is easy to say and hard to follow, but the Sikh Marg is not for the faint hearted/willed.

If we treat sorrow and happiness as one – there in lies our success and protection against other peoples weakened states (slaves of 5 vaikaar).

It also helps us to bring our own haumai (Root of 5 Vaikaar) under control – vaikaar cause sorrow and pain both.

If you want to tell people, tell people who you know will be happy for you. If some asks you the question, tell them, in a sombre way.

We should try and utmost not to volunteer self success to others, on the same note, we should not show overly happiness at others success as we simply help their haumai to flourish.

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Again, it depends on the context.

I was simply saying that if you want to share yuor 'joy' thnk carefully about who you are sharing it with - in the momentt, we often loose any sense of social responsibility and sensitivity i.e. why jump for joy re your driving test in front of someone who has failed 3 times.

share what you need to, and do it wisely. Yuor grades, its only your immediate family (parents and siblings who need to know) anyone else, wait for them to ask, then tell them in a humble (guru di kirpa etc) way - try remain sombre (in control of emotions) when telling people.

Key is to try and keep communication useful and Gurmat at all times, sansaari talk will get you into conflict with sansaari lok.

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well in your driving example, the problem doesnt really lie with you, its the friends who have an tendency to become jealous, and maybe it might be a blessing that they decide to ignore you for a while, but imagine the reverse of the situation and how the person would feel having found out that you didnt want them to know, or you kept it to themselves. You shouldnt feel ashamed of telling the truth, but the only thing i would say is that sometimes when a person tells others of his achievments he may appear to be big headed, or people may percieve him as being a show off.

Yeah I got to agree with most of this.

So in a way can we say, lets not tell others our achievements? How many times has the odd person who's had great grades from school or whatever, a guys some out with, 'your (inserts bad language) clever dude' in a deceiving and non-supporting way to get the guy who got the good grades to think of him/her self as big headed........It's happened in the past when some people just want to hide their true self, so they can shine in the foreseeable future. So does this mean we shouldn't regularly keep family, haters, friends updated on our success?

I remember talking to somebody about this exact same situation and the guy came out with something which made perfect sense to me at the time (Il try explain what he said as best i can.)

He said that when we do things, rather then tell everybody who cares to listen, you can inform the person by actions. For instance, going back to your driving example if you was to be seen driving around etc, your mates would assume you've passed your test, and being admitted to a top uni college illustrates your grades. This way your seen as humble and not a show off. After all, all of our achievments are blessing from maharaaj, without his help we wouldnt achieve much if anything at all:

Kabeer, nothing is mine within myself. Whatever there is, is Yours, O Waheguru Ji.

If I surrender to You what is already Yours, what does it cost me? ||203||

so in a way, our achievements, are not ours at all!!

hope this helps

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Again, it depends on the context.

share what you need to, and do it wisely. Yuor grades, its only your immediate family (parents and siblings who need to know) anyone else, wait for them to ask, then tell them in a humble (guru di kirpa etc) way - try remain sombre (in control of emotions) when telling people.

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