Parents And Amrit

[Amarjodh Singh]

Basically, my parents are Amritdhari and I want to take Amrit. However they won't let me because they think that i won't get married early. Also, they got really angry and said that if i take it then i have to move out and start working and living on my own, because they don't want to fund my education and my living forever. They said i can take it after i get married, then everyone is happy. What would you do? take it, or wait and see what happens.

[Matheen]

disturbing...

When you take Amrit, you put everything in Guru Ji's hands, so nothing to worry about. Assuming you're a Singh from your name, what difference does it make to them whether or not you get married? Anyway, there are plenty of Amritdhari bibiya.

[Guest gona]

But is there not a line in Gurbani which says that by disrespecting your parents you become a baymaan, and you are not welcome in the Gurdwara? However, is taking amrit now and disrespecting your parents wish of taking it after your married gonna get this sort of punishement??

[guruvah]

However they won't let me because they think that i won't get married early.

I just dont get it. What does your marriage and taking amrit has to do with each other?

What is actually going on in their mind? (they have already found a non amritdhari girl for u or something)

[singh987]

lets give this a shot..

There is a thought among some people that you somehow 'break' your amrit when you enter grist and get married (Basically they refer to you having sex, I think). Therefore you will find people will encourage you to either take amrit as a couple once you are married or go 'pesh'/take a 'choola' again. This MAY be what your parents might be worried about, they are amrit-dhaari themselves and they understand the complexities of grist jeevan as amrit-dhaari people.. this is probably their weird way of explaining themselves to you!

This also explains why they have concerns about you marrying, again, some people think that if you take amrit you may be deterred from gristi jeevan - because of your commitments to not indulge in kaam - one of your 5 bhoots.

The topic of sex, in my opinion, is dangerously oppressed by most people in our community - we do not have the capacity to discuss this topic confidently.

My personal view is as follows: Amrit is not just the 'drinkable' thing.. it cannot be broken, amrit is within you, if you wish to pledge yourself to your guru, go for it! Just make sure you understand the scale of the commitment you are making, and ensure that your parents know this too! all will be well paaji..

[toor]

Just take it, marriage is something you can worry about at a later stage, like someone else has already said that there are plenty of amritdhari bibyian, plus you never know whats around the corner so you should step onto the Gurus path and youll get all the help you need later in life......

[SunSingh]

just let your parents know u plan on getting married, and that there are loads of amritdhari girls who are well educated. also, many people find doing the banis etc help them deal with the stress of higher education. these days, there are a lot of amritdharis getting higher education. So amrit is not a bar, but a help.

[Guest _singhni_]

gurfateh je

dhass is in similar position to the orginal poster...

would it be wise to take amrith gupt without parents knowing?

[Guest gona]

I once talked to my parents about it, but they so just try and put you off. Easier just to do it, even though it's hard sneak benhind ur parents but talking to them can be worse sometimes. Who do you need permission from to become part of the Khalsa Panth? The Khalsa only listens to the Guru.

I ain't saying don't listen to anyone else though

[S1ngh]

I know this is very famous among many households where elders worry that their daughters won't get good alliance/rishta because in reality population of amritdhari sikhs is on the edge. They are worried and it is natural for them to act in such way but however in reality they should trust more on guru sahib then on their mindset but again it is not their fault. It is not that they are against sikhi or its principles but they are worried about your future in more of duniyaveee way.

I heard about kuriyaan in such cases but never heard parents stopping boys to take amrit.