So Confused :(

[hkaur 7]

SS Akal,

I am really confused about something and felt that I should talk to other people who might have been in the same position, or might know someone with the same type of issue.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about Sikhism and where I fit in. My family goes to the Gurdwara every Sunday and I love it. Now I've also started to volunteer there and help teach the Punjabi class.

I've been living in Canada for six-seven years (I'm fourteen years old now), and before that I lived in India. I'd never cut my hair then. No one in my family had, actually, until my brother started going to school (still in India.)

He used to take out his joora everyday and finally my Chachaji said that we should just cut his hair because in Canada it would just get harder to keep, especially since he took it out all the time. Plus, he knew that when my brother got older he might want to cut his hair, and then it would just be harder for my parents (especially my dad) at that time. So my brother got his hair cut. It's always been cut since then.Then we came to Canada. My parents and I did not cut our hair. We continued going to the Gurudwara all the time and I started to do kirtan. I loved it.

I never had any desire to cut my hair, but one day I had to because someone in school stuck chewing gum in it. I cried and cried as it was being cut. By the time we were finished, it was just below my shoulders.

Since then, I've had to cut my hair several times, just so it looks even and proper. My mom also cut her hair. She cuts it regularly. My dad still keeps his turban and beard.

About two years ago, I started to feel that I shouldn't cut my hair. I've kept it long since then, but I also have to remove hair from my arms and legs. I've never considered that this would matter, until now.

Now I'm starting to think, "It would be so much more convenient if I just cut my hair. I already have to cut some of it, so why do I keep it on my head? If I want to keep my hair, I have to keep ALL of it." Keeping all of it just isn't possible for me right now.

I've been feeling a lot closer to Sikhism lately, so I feel bad that I want to cut my hair. But I already cut some of it (though not on my head), so why do I not feel bad about that? It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Am I a bad Sikh for doing that? Every Sikh that I know (excluding Amritdharis) do that... but I feel really, really bad. I follow the rest of the rules, but just this... It's bothering me so much. I just need to know if I'm a bad Sikh or not... I've checked a lot of things and so far I've heard many different opinions. One that I kind of felt that I sided with was that there isn't really anything wrong with cutting my hair since I'm not Amritdhari. Since I am Sahajdhari, I can still be a good Sikh and cut my hair... since I'm not obliged to keep the 5 K's.

None of this is making any sense at all right now. I'm really confused and I just think I need some clarification. I know this was a long post and I'm incredibly grateful to anyone who bothers to read it and reply. Any information at all would be greatly appreciated. I feel really bad, but at the same time a little part of me is saying that I shouldn't feel bad about this. Thanks in advance! <br><br></font>

[SunSingh]

penji, the reason you feel bad is because your soul knows removing hair is wrong, and wants to move closer to the Guru. The Guru didn't give separate sets of rules for sehajdharis and amritdharis. Sehajdharis are supposed to be moving towards the Guru, as are Amritdharis. Taking Amrit, keeping the kakkars, is a requirement for all sikhs, it's just that some haven't adopted these requirements yet. It's a mark of grace that you feel bad about removing your hair. Penji, when one has a strong conscience, if they listen to it, it gets stronger and clearer. IF they ignore it, over time it becomes weaker and if one ignores it long enough then one may even lack be unable to hear clear guidance from their conscience. You are blessed for feeling the need to move closer to the Guru.

[AmarjitKaur]

You are reminding me something. A girl in USA, about 15 years ago asked me that "is nailpolish allowed in Sikhism". I said no ( I was putting it on sometimes as well). She said, if she doesn't then her nails, hands look ugly. At that time, I had answered that don't do it for few weeks months, the same hands wouldn't feel any good after putting nailpolish. The situation would reverse.

Eh saari mind dee gall aa, bhenji.

Man nu jo auj changa lagda, kal nu ohee changa nahi lagda.

More you get drawn to real sikhi, more you won't enjoy these dikhava stuff of the materilistic world.

when you start having rus from Gurbani, you loose the taste for other rus in life.

Eh sare rus han.

Imagine Guru Gobind Singh jee standing right next to you, watching you what you doing, next time you pick up scissors to cut any body hair. Tuhadi himmat nahi paiNee ke tusin ik vee vaal kat diyo.

SIKH dee yatra apne inside val hai, not to the outside world. Outside world is a karm bhoomi. so outside world nu kiyon impress keeta jaave.

If Ever you feeel that somebody will think that you look weird with your hair, just ask this question "is that person not creation of GOD, do that person not come under the command of God, whom you are so worried about thinking weird about you or your hair or any other weird appearance you may have while trying to keep the sikhi saroop.

Believe me this world is so entagled in their own affairs, that they don't really have time for others.

After taking amrit, I appeared at work first time with my head covered then people whom I worked with for 10 years, gave me looks. I felt weird. I talked to my american friend. You know what she said. She said "Amarjit, give people one week, they will get used to be seeing new you". And that was such a beautiful advice from an american friend. I remember it always when I face the crowds. IF i go somewhere for once, I don't really care what those people think, as I am not going to see them again. And where I go more often, they will get used to be seeing me the way I am. So I have nothing to worry. While i am writing this, I mean to say not only about me covering my head, but also the facial hair.

I weigh it out this way. I ask myself question "is it more important for me, what people think or to follow my Guru's hukam??" the asnwer always comes Following hukam is more important. So thats my driving force.

And as veerji said above, the rules for Sahejdhari and amritdhari are not different. The only differece between them is taking khande dee pahul or not.

[hkaur 7]

Thank you so much.

I understand what you mean, and you're very right. I just don't understand -- I know some Sikhs who do Japji Sahib and Rehraas Sahib daily, they follow the Rehet Maryada better than anyone else I know, and yet they cut their hair. Would they be considered bad Sikhs because of this? Is it just a personal choice and they decided it would be more convenient to not keep their hair, or is it something really bad (still considering that they are good Sikhs if you take away this detail)? I don't understand that.

[AmarjitKaur]

First of all, we shouldn't be judging others ( I know we all fall in this category of judging others time to time). To me SIKHI is inside yatra. So I don't need to see what others do. What others do now, I was doing before. Do I like better "me now" or "me then in their shoes". This is the real question "I was better sikh then (when I was like others) or I am better now".

So pose questions to you about yourself not about others.

Every single individual on this earth has their own jouney to travel. Don't worry about others. Just travel yours. While doing that, encourage others +vely, not by showing them mirror where you look down upon them, but by setting yourself as a better role model. Let people see you following your Guru's command.

Everyone has their own pace to get moving towards Guruji.

Bhai Gurdas jee likhde hun

crn srin gur eyk pYfw jwie cl

charan saran gur eaek paiddaa jaae chala

siq gur koit pYfw Awgy hoie lyq hY ]

sath gur kott paiddaa aagae hoe laeth hai ||

Tusin apnee yatra te chalo, rest leave upto Guruji. Duniya dee vaali fikar naa kariya karo. duniya kise ton roti khoh taan sakdee aa, par dindi nahi. Sikhi kise ton khoh taan sakdee aa, par dindee nahi. So why even worry about who does what.

[hkaur 7]

I know, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to judge. The question just came to mind.

So what I'm understanding from this is that everyone eventually makes their way closer to Guruji, though some might get there faster than others. That does make sense to me. But (sorry), just another question: Does it mean that you are only a true Sikh, close to Guruji, if you are Amritdhari?

[AmarjitKaur]

Does it mean that you are only a true Sikh, close to Guruji, if you are Amritdhari?

I don't think I can answer that question. I would be judging and commenting without any knowledge of who is or not close to Guruji.

I can only tell you that YOU can experience the closeness once you are there. The day your questions disappear and answers start to come by reading more and more gurbani and living according to rehat Guruji gave you, you will feel the closeness. If you are filled with questions/doubts now, you need to start walking towards the Guru.

And how do u walk towards the Guru?? That is a good question to ask.

The answer I have found so far, is that you start following what Guru Says.

And thats where the majority of us lacks. we read, understand what SGGSji says (if we even read it ever), but we don't follow. To most of us, it seems good shabad, good kan ras, good meaning, but when it comes to apply in real life, asin vista de keere, moorakh, fer vista khaN vich lage rahinde aa. asin zindgee dee moh maya, rasaan vich galtan haan. And thats exactly what we need to stop doing. if you reach to that in this life time, then you achieved something.

And now about having Amrit or not. Amrit has power. You want Amrit, because it gives you that power, it makes you committed, gives you disciplne. You have guru standing on your side. you are a dog with Guru's leash around your neck. Without it, you are street dog, eating from here and there. running around without knowing where to. Amrit shows you the purpose of life.

I think I should stop. I don't wanna say anything wrong, as I am moorakh as well and may say it by an accident.

[Only five]

There is a group that is always willing to do paath, but not actually see through why it's done.

There is a long list of demands like better grades, better life, new friends, etc but what actually do you have that is of any worth to recieve what you want. Paath helps me focus, it teaches me about life and how to handle tough issues. Two thumbs up for completely missing Japji Sahib. Japji Sahib is saying submit to Waheguru. You don't have to go further than the first two pauris. It's there and all the reason why to keep hair is there aswell. It's telling you to let go of the I think it's not reasonable or important to keep hair.

There is no them(Amritdharis) or us. Only those that follow Guru Sahib are accepted. The poison to everyones hears, you might want to close the screen now, it's going to be shock and awe. Don't get hit by the shrapnel. The Satguru=Sri Guru Gobind SIngh Sahib ji=Waheguru commanded to keep hair uncut. Just like the command comes for keeping faith and being truthful, this command came.

A question to a person that doesn't keep hair uncut. How can you be truthful when you don't follow the command of Waheguru. We read it everyday in Japji Sahib follow his command. Whose command are you following by cutting hair?

[ms514]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Indeed, Sikhism is a path that unfolds at its own pace for all people. But to qualify as a Sikh, Guru Sahib has made Amrit a requirement - it is the entrance exam to the School of Sikhi that all Sikhs must take.

Importance of Hair:

rom rom mehi basehi muraar ||

and on each and every hair, the Lord abides. - 344.

romae rom rom romae mai guramukh raam dhhiaaeae raam ||

With each and every hair, with each and every hair, as Gurmukh, I meditate on the Lord. - 443.

guramukh rom rom har dhhiaavai ||

The Gurmukh meditates on the Lord with every hair of his body. - 941.

The Gurbani itself is self-explanatory - hair is an important component of spirituality in Sikhism. To borrow a page from Bhai Sahib Bhai Randhir Singh Ji, your arms and legs also grow - why not cut them off in the name of fashion? God put the arms and legs there as well as hair, but we seem to know better than God what is to stay and what can be but off? Hair is a given organ of the body that grows longer on human heads than most (if not all other) animals in the world. We as a species should take the hint that it is there for a reason and should not be cut off in the name of fashion.

Rehat:

gur sathigur kaa jo sikh akhaaeae s bhalakae out(h) har naam dhhiaavai ||

oudham karae bhalakae parabhaathee eisanaan karae a(n)mrith sar naavai ||

oupadhaes guroo har har jap jaapai sabh kilavikh paap dhokh lehi jaavai ||

fir charrai dhivas gurabaanee gaavai behadhiaa out(h)adhiaa har naam dhhiaavai ||

jo saas giraas dhhiaaeae maeraa har har so gurasikh guroo man bhaavai ||

jis no dhaeiaal hovai maeraa suaamee this gurasikh guroo oupadhaes sunaavai ||

jan naanak dhhoorr ma(n)gai this gurasikh kee jo aap japai avareh naam japaavai ||2||

One who calls himself a Sikh of the Guru, the True Guru, shall rise in the early morning hours and meditate on the Lord's Name. Upon arising early in the morning, he is to bathe, and cleanse himself in the pool of nectar. Following the Instructions of the Guru, he is to chant the Name of the Lord, Har, Har. All sins, misdeeds and negativity shall be erased. Then, at the rising of the sun, he is to sing Gurbani; whether sitting down or standing up, he is to meditate on the Lord's Name. One who meditates on my Lord, Har, Har, with every breath and every morsel of food - that GurSikh becomes pleasing to the Guru's Mind. That person, unto whom my Lord and Master is kind and compassionate - upon that GurSikh, the Guru's Teachings are bestowed. Servant Nanak begs for the dust of the feet of that GurSikh, who himself chants the Naam, and inspires others to chant it. ||2|| - 305.

The Rehat is defined in the Guru Granth Sahib Ji - not the striking similarity to a Gursikh's (meaning Amritdhari) daily routine. Add to this the bachan of Guru Gobind Singh Ji:

"Bina Shastra Kesan Neran Bhiad Jano. Ghe Kan Ta Ko Kite Le. Eho Mor Aageya Suno He Pyaro. Bina Shastran Kesan Devo Na Didare" - Without weapons and intact hair, consider that individual a sheep. That sheep can be taken anywhere by the ear. Listen to my words Beloveds. Without weaponse and intact hair, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY DARSHAN.

There is a sakhi recorded in Gur Partap Suraj Granth - the Sangat may correct me if I get some details incorrect:

Bhai Dalla Ji was a companion premi Guru Gobind Singh Ji. One day Guru Sahib said to Bhai Dalla Ji, "Ask for what you desire". Bhai Dalla Ji said, "Please reserve a piri's (stepstool) worth of space for me in Sachkhand. Guru Sahib replied that this I cannot grant you. Bhai Dalla queried as to why, and Guru Gobind Singh Ji replied that such could only granted to a Gursikh - Amrithdari (Bhai Dalla Ji was not yet a Gursikh). So Bhai Dalla Ji then became an Amritdhari Gursikh. This sakhi further confims that for Mukhti, one must become a Gursikh (Amritdhari).

In the end, your path will unfold as it was destined to unfold, but it must come with the understanding that a Sikh is that who has taken Amrit from the Guru and keeps the Rehat, of which hair is essential.

Bhul Chuk Maaf.

[K. SINGH DEEP]

<br>SS Akal,<br><br>I am really confused about something and felt that I should talk to other people who might have been in the same position, or might know someone with the same type of issue. <br>Lately, I've been thinking a lot about Sikhism and where I fit in. My family goes to the Gurdwara every Sunday and I love it. Now I've also started to volunteer there and help teach the Punjabi class.<br>I've been living in Canada for six-seven years (I'm fourteen years old now), and before that I lived in India. I'd never cut my hair then. No one in my family had, actually, until my brother started going to school (still in India.)<br>He used to take out his joora everyday and finally my Chachaji said that we should just cut his hair because in Canada it would just get harder to keep, especially since he took it out all the time. Plus, he knew that when my brother got older he might want to cut his hair, and then it would just be harder for my parents (especially my dad) at that time. So my brother got his hair cut. It's always been cut since then.Then we came to Canada. My parents and I did not cut our hair. We continued going to the Gurudwara all the time and I started to do kirtan. I loved it. <br>I never had any desire to cut my hair, but one day I had to because someone in school stuck chewing gum in it. I cried and cried as it was being cut. By the time we were finished, it was just below my shoulders. <br>Since then, I've had to cut my hair several times, just so it looks even and proper. My mom also cut her hair. She cuts it regularly. My dad still keeps his turban and beard.<br>About two years ago, I started to feel that I shouldn't cut my hair. I've kept it long since then, but I also have to remove hair from my arms and legs. I've never considered that this would matter, until now.<br>Now I'm starting to think, "It would be so much more convenient if I just cut my hair. I already have to cut some of it, so why do I keep it on my head? If I want to keep my hair, I have to keep ALL of it." Keeping all of it just isn't possible for me right now. <br>I've been feeling a lot closer to Sikhism lately, so I feel bad that I want to cut my hair. But I already cut some of it (though not on my head), so why do I not feel bad about that? It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Am I a bad Sikh for doing that? Every Sikh that I know (excluding Amritdharis) do that... but I feel really, really bad. I follow the rest of the rules, but just this... It's bothering me so much. I just need to know if I'm a bad Sikh or not... I've checked a lot of things and so far I've heard many different opinions. One that I kind of felt that I sided with was that there isn't really anything wrong with cutting my hair since I'm not Amritdhari. Since I am Sahajdhari, I can still be a good Sikh and cut my hair... since I'm not obliged to keep the 5 K's. <br><br>None of this is making any sense at all right now. I'm really confused and I just think I need some clarification. I know this was a long post and I'm incredibly grateful to anyone who bothers to read it and reply. Any information at all would be greatly appreciated. I feel really bad, but at the same time a little part of me is saying that I shouldn't feel bad about this. Thanks in advance! <br><br></font><br>

<br><br><br>If we are so called true Sikhs, Wwe shall have to keep our hairs uncut and unremoved.<br>Guru Gobind Singh ji has told :-<br> "Dhare kesh ,Pahul bina bhekhi moorakh sikh:*<br> (Without keeping hairs and without taking AMRIT, every  SIKH is fool and dramatic.) <br>Once Guru Nanak Dev ji told Bhai Mardana ji :-<br>" Tinn batan tu kar, Ek sir te kes rakhane, doojja pichhal rati Satnaamda jaap japna ,teesra eh ke <br>  anvde jandesadh  di seva tehal karani." ( you do 3 deeds, first keep hairs on head, second do jaap of <br>  Satnaam before early in the morning,third serve the pilgrimsgoing away from your place and coming<br>  towards your place.<br>In SARAB LOH granth Guru Gobind Singh ji tells :-<br> "Dharam panth Khalas prachur bhayo,satt sivang punya roop jae.<br>   Kachchh Kesh Kirpaan tre mudra, gur bhagta ramdas bhae."<br> Hence it is very important and essential to keep our hairs (uncut)otherwise  Guru ji will not love us.<br>Bhul chuk khima karni ji.<br>Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh         <br><br>