Get in touch with Midland Langar Seva, if they can't help i'm sure they know someone who can.
As far as family goes, maybe try and tell them your willing to take a covid test to prove your okay to stay with them (you can get a lateral flow test done and get the results in an hour),
I'm turning 16 this march. Last year during march I was blessed to have darshan of India for the first time ever in my life. Ever since that, I really wish maharaj brings me back there. Whatever you said is literally what I hope maharaj does kirpa for.
So there are individuals willing to conduct such a ceremony, but you don't want to pay their rates? Do you not feel the actual religious or spiritual method by which you are enjoined to your partner is worth the financial outlay? So, the problem isn't "Sikh society" but your frugality, because if the issue truly lay with these backwards Sikhs, you'd be unable to find even one individual willing to conduct whatever abominable concoction of religiosity you deem to be en vogue in the current year.
As for the rights and wrongs of the ceremony itself I guess it's a matter of tradition. If the ceremony itself is deemed to be so objectionable, I'd find another spiritual framework to latch onto for your wedding aesthetic. If I was in your position and so certain of my convictions, I would reject the Anand Karaj on principle, and instead conduct a secular ceremony more suited to my beliefs and tastes. That's what someone of principle would do.