Vikaar

[Guest gupt]

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA!WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH!

B4 i had taken amrit i was in love with a amritdhari boy. I was very impress by seeing his love for sikhi and human kind.I had decided b4 taking amrit to not to talk with that boy but i had lost my control and i became very kammi then after taking amrit also i had talked with him as he leave far away i had chated with him online and in phone while thinking that i will marry him then it will not be against GURMAT. I had talked very vulgar and we both had lost our control we keep in talking very vulgar. We exchange wrong pics with each other. I had started 1st b'coz being a boy he was fear from me but osdi vi icha c.

So he never stoped me from this. Then i started feeling like doing suicide b'coz i was feeling i am going against GURU ji. Then i talked to my parents about him that i wanna marry him.

Then with my parents i had meet him 1st time, he was very handsome and my skin was down as compare to him. So after meeting him i asked him that u were saying u will decide to marry me or not after meeting and seeing me so what u decided? so he said u'r personality is good just work on u'r pimples and skin color. Then i again and again asked him the same and had said him to think about it seriously. So he said he is satisfy but can't say about his parents and he will tell them after 1 or 2 year when they say him to marry. After listening this i feel bad b'coz being a girl izazat is very big thing and how i can talk with him as lover 1 or 2 year more as it is not confirm we will marry or not.

So i said him to stop talking with me till he will tell his parents about our relation. Then we fight in some matter and he said our thinking doesn't match and as we r just in relation and had not married yet so sadi mazburi ni relation nu ahage leaha jana.

He said lets over this.

But i am in depression i had shared with him so much things. We haven't made physical relation and had meet each other just once but we had talk like a husband-wife or lover. Shared pics and had imagine each other in that pics of intercourse.

I also feeling now i don't wanna marry a person who now always say me mera dimaag lalu hai, mana uhasa koi khushiya ni di.

Humesha giranda rehanda manu.

What i do know? i m very depressed i had cheated GURU ji lahalacha vicha ki i will marry him then nothing will be against GURMAT. Now i can't marry anyone i m very frustrated now.

Is my amrit is braked? i have to take it again????

do advice i don't have religious contact......if u have plz panj pyare nu pucho what i do now? should not marry rite?????/ b'coz can't cheat anyone

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

What you did is against the Rehat (Code of Conduct) given to Khalsa.

But you know what, things could have been worse (like getting pregnant or becoming homosexual).

Everyone makes mistakes, point is to learn from them and never repeat them in future.

If you are of the marrying age then it's probably best to confide in your mother or grand mother or elder sister that you would like to get married.

Being experienced and mature they will find a suitable match for you.

Only thing that you should do is to forget about this guy and WAIT till your parents find a guy.

Till then put your mind into Seva, Simran, Gurbani Paath and Saadh Sangat.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[Guest …]

Dear Phenjee,

Vaheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa! Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!

It is wrong to have any relationship with another person (in the context of husband/wife before Anand Karaj; girlfriend/boyfriend etc) before Anand Karaj. So even if you think you are going to marry that person, you cannot have any sort of a ‘wrong’ relationship including sharing ‘X-Rated’ pictures etc.

You are still fortunate that you have not done the FULL bajjar kurehit. But have done a kurehit (Which is VERY WRONG). Though this is a fine line. A bajjar kurehit would be a physical touch; and without doubt you would have fully broken the vows of Amrit. Here you have done a Kurehit; and you are fortunate that you have not done the FULL paap. I would suggest the following: Keep in your mind you have not done full bajjar kurehit, and begin keeping full rehit from here on forwards including no such relationships! When you are able, go to Panj Pyareh and tell them you have not done full bajjar kurehit but want to be forgiven for the kurehit and accept and do the tankah. This does NOT mean that you can continue doing this sort of thing until you get pesh; because as I said! You are fortunate you have not done the full bajjar kurehit (physical touch!) but have still done kurehit. I do not know how far you went in the pictures etc, but you must understand the meaning of Kachera Kakaar and be modest at all times. You should know better!

About your future marriage, this does NOT mean you cannot get married in the future! YOU CAN! You are fortunate you didn’t do the full bajjar paap and from here on forwards DO NOT even think of doing such kurehits!

Even if you are engaged, you still CANNOT do such things! Until Anand Karaj you CANNOT do any such thing! So even if you think you are going to marry someone in the future, until the Anand Karaj, you cannot do such things again! Okay!

So Do Ardaas, and NEVER repeat such mistakes! And until you are able to go to Rehatvaan Panj Pyareh, keep full rehit from now on, and don’t even think of making such mistakes again! EVER!

Do not get into any such situations! EVER!

It is AGAINST Gurmat to do such things even if you are engaged, and even if you are 100% sure you are going to get married! Until AFTER the Anand Karaj, you cannot do such things! In the future, starting now! Do not even think of doing such things! You cannot talk to anyone as ‘lover’ even if you think you are going to get married! Even if you are engaged! You have to wait for AFTER Anand Karaj for such a relationship! Remember this for the future starting now! Do not do any such thing ever again!

Now keep your full rehit, and do Ardas to MahaaRaaj! You can still get married in the future, but until Anand Karaj make sure to make no such mistakes in the future!

Keep full rehit and do Ardas to MahaaRaaj!AND NEVER MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE EVER AGAIN!ALL FINAL DECISIONS ARE MADE BY REHATVAAN PANJ PYAREH! NOT ME!

[Guest gupt]

panj pyareh toha kitha milanga..........

badnami ni hogi ohna nu dasangi taha aj kal koi change ni hai ki duniya nu na dase....................

[Guest ...]

Came across this:

[VanHelsingh]

Bloody filth.

[Guest kaur-ji]

if he cant accept who you are, if he doesnt love the roop god gave to u, he doesnt love God

after what he did to you he has done big sin and he will get punished for it...

he saw ur pics, didnt he saw clear pics of u ? how could he now change his mind.?? It isnt like he never saw u in his life.....was he really seeing u as his future life partner, or is he one of the amritdhari guys who think its normal playing girls.....

so dont feel sad, jo hogeya, so hogeya, but dont think u should marry a guy who treats u like this, u deserve better, and there are heaps of guys out there who dont watch us with dirty mind

[Guest Guest]

if he cant accept who you are, if he doesnt love the roop god gave to u, he doesnt love God

after what he did to you he has done big sin and he will get punished for it...

he saw ur pics, didnt he saw clear pics of u ? how could he now change his mind.?? It isnt like he never saw u in his life.....was he really seeing u as his future life partner, or is he one of the amritdhari guys who think its normal playing girls.....

so dont feel sad, jo hogeya, so hogeya, but dont think u should marry a guy who treats u like this, u deserve better, and there are heaps of guys out there who dont watch us with dirty mind

You should not be filling the girls mind with an undeserved sense of entitlement or making her feel like the victim. Both have indulged in serious Kaam and are both to blame. If a Singh and Singhni have a premarital relationship, they need to get married.

If a Singhni is stupid enough to get into a relationship with a Singh and send him dirty pictures, she does not "deserve better".

The two of them need to get married and build a Jeevan - it is this behavior of youth having lots of different boyfriends and girlfriends before "settling down" with one person that is disgusting and has no place in Gurmat.

[Guest sikh]

Bloody filth.

We are all sinners, we are all full of vices and darkness-

If we were not we would be sitting in Sachkandh as the True Brahmgyanis(living) are. We do not judge, we never point the finger at others because we know we are worse. We have Sat in Gurbani but ignore it with every breath we all turn our back on the guru and spit in his face constantly but not following his will and his teachings each and every moment.

This is the worst sin as we cannot even plead ignorance to our misdeeds- the Sat has been given.

To the poster, we all sin every single second, ask god for forgiveness from the heart and he will forgive you, he loves you. What you do after that is up to you, just live gurbani as much as you can.

[OhTwadi]

We are all sinners, we are all full of vices and darkness-

If we were not we would be sitting in Sachkandh as the True Brahmgyanis(living) are. We do not judge, we never point the finger at others because we know we are worse. We have Sat in Gurbani but ignore it with every breath we all turn our back on the guru and spit in his face constantly but not following his will and his teachings each and every moment.

This is the worst sin as we cannot even plead ignorance to our misdeeds- the Sat has been given.

To the poster, we all sin every single second, ask god for forgiveness from the heart and he will forgive you, he loves you. What you do after that is up to you, just live gurbani as much as you can.

Nice response, a strong reminder from Dhan Bhagat Kabeer Jee:

kbIr grbu n kIjIAY rMku n hsIAY koie ]

kabeer garab n keejeeai ra(n)k n haseeai koe ||

Kabeer, do not be so proud, and do not laugh at the poor [of any form, of character, of money, of able body etc...].

Ajhu su nwau smuMdR mih ikAw jwnau ikAw hoie ]39]

ajahu s naao samu(n)dhr mehi kiaa jaano kiaa hoe ||39||

Your boat is still out at sea; who knows what will happen? ||39||