Where Are Our Disabled Sikh Children?

[RebelSingh]

there are gurdwaras out there which dont let disabled kids inside the darbar, which is disgusting, heres a video of sikh unit's 'killa', talkin bowt his experience of this matter, and an interesting story of bhai gurdas ji, which i NEVER EVER knew of.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6tgdZULDlQ

[VanHelsingh]

A lot of things to think about in the video above.

I also never knew of the Bear / Bhai Gurdas Ji sakhi.

[autismmum]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

i agree with you, my brother is severely autistic, on the 'worser' end of the spectrum which means he is non-verbal and cannot realistically live by himself ever. there is not much support out there at all, we literally have to fight with the social services to provide even the basic of needs for him. despite all this he is the most beautiful and handsome boy you could ever meet, when he laughs its as if god is laughing with me, his eyes pierce through my soul and his sadness makes me feel like death. their emotions are true and real, and god truly resides in them for they despite being a part of this world, never truly are. this makes his extremely special in my eyes, he lives as a human but has minimum level of emotional understanding, no maya and worldliness pollutes his mind. when we were young apparently a saint visited our home and when he met my brother, he simply smiled and said 'tu sade warga kith aagia?' roughly translates, you who is like me, where have you come? i love him with all my heart but do wish he was able to visit the gurdwara, and really wished the gurdwara could talk about such issues rather then shying away from them, it feels like we live in the repressive victorican era lol..

thats my two cents

fateh ji, and lovely discussion!

WJKK WJKF

Penji Tanvir Kaur I was overwhelmed when I read your post. It needs to be said that your brother is also blessed to have a loving sister like you. With Waheguru Ji's kirpa I hope that you get the support you all need.

Glad to know that our little veer (your son) is trying his best, but the changeless he is going through are really difficult, Guru sahib has given us faith and courage to fight against all difficulties. I was 17 when my mother passed, that time my sister was 12 years old and she was born with Malingomileses, Its a rare disease with a ball of nerves on the spinal cord, she was six months when she got operated, but the operation was a disaster, her balder malfunctioned and she lost control of balder and the nerve damage caused further weakening of legs and other parts of body as doctors forgot to connect the nerves correctly and many doctors said that she might end up with a very Big head or might not live at all, but with Guru Sahib's grace now she is a Pharmacist and treats other people, It was really difficult to understand her while she was growing and required intense care as was a motherless child. Only one thing kept us going and that was faith, Now when I look back at the time we spent, my father and I thought that she might not be able to live like this even for 5 more years but she did and she is independent now and helping others. I am sure our young veer has plenty to learn and without anybodies help he will be able to stand one day and will speak in his own way. God Bless.

"Tu Kahey Dolay Praniya tud rakheyga sirjanhar. "

Heartfelt gratitude for sharing your experience - I feel more confident about the future. Your right our faith keep us all going and I will share your post with my extended family (love the veer ji reference). God Bless you and your family.

Wonderful post from RebelSingh. This education needs to be provided in the Sikhi Camps and Sikh Schools. I had a very positive experience with my son on our last visit to the Gurdwara - its truly spiritual when we all work together. We are not looking for pity or special treatment just equality and compassion. I have a lot to learn myself so bhul chul mauf karoh. I believe the 'solutions' to some of our practical issues will be resolved (from perhaps a fresh prospective) - especially after reading the posts from The Paneer Monster and OnlyFive.

WJKK WJKF

[sherepunjab11]

We feel alot more support and acceptance is required and sevadars need to more true to the principles of Sikhi when we visit the Gurdwara. My beautiful, brave, courageous son has severe learning difficulties and autism. He is 7 years old and is non-verbal and with Waheguru's kirpa we have blessed with remarkable progress in his development. I have been told to 'develope a thick skin' and be more in my Sikhi when I ask for support - these alongside with the disgusting looks we get are very unhelpful. My son has expressed an interest in his Sikhi (enjoys watching images of our beloved Guru Ji's and listens to short bursts of Japji Sahib on his Ipad). I know my son's behaviour can become challenging and look odd but I passionately beleive he is also entitled to his right to spiritual development. The more he visits the Gurdwara these behaviours will decrease.

I would like to hear from other parents with disabled children/adults - you have my best wishes.

you have exactly the right attitude.do your nitnem in the morning and follow guru ji's word and hopefully your son will progress alot more

[autismmum]

WJKK WJKF

Just wanted to confirm that families like mine experience ignorance and discrimination outside of the Sikh community. One example of this is when I took my son to be admitted as a day patient at Birmingham Children's Hospital where the nurses were so rude. My beloved late brother was shocked at their lack of support. The nurses had no autism training and we received a letter of apology and a Disability Steer Group was set up. I also know that because my son is not blonde haired and blue eyed he is a double target. Our lives are full of challenges and hope (for all).

Sangat Ji, these issues are a lot worse for families/individuals in certain parts of the world and I do my best to remember them in my ardas.

WJKK WJKF

[Khaalis]

http://www.includemetoo.org.uk/

Started up by a Sikh Lady.

[Questioner]

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa, Vaheguru ji ki fateh.

Reading about the hardships and discrimination families face due to disability is appalling. It's not something I've ever thought about as I've never come across somebody with a disability in my Gurdwara.

It goes without saying that those with disabilities of whatever kind should have exactly the same opportunities as everyone else, and receive the same respect from us. Perhaps we could help those children who are becoming interested in Sikhi somehow; perhaps it'd be possible to set up a support programme or a small organisation in any given town whereby Gursikhs can volunteer a few hours a week to help a family/ provide extra support, people to talk to, or Sikhi classes and days out. If anything like that is of interest to anyone, do get in touch.

[Guest kaur1]

Just wanted to add my brother is also autistic...he is now 13 and goes to a special secondary in the West Mids area...he is so loving and giving but alongside the autism there is dyspraxia and learning needs (his reading age being about 5) we are a Punjabi family where no one has had such a disability before and my parents have found and are finding it hard still to cope with it because they are in their mid 50's. We need more info about autism in Punjabi and for the Sikh TV shows to pick up these issues and discuss them. Even though he is classed as "disabled" my mom does not like sharing this info with others, even her own family. Our family think he is just spoilt and lazy and just "dumb" (as in silly) and constantly make these remarks about him. He also has a dominant tic which even my dad does not understand and he too often yells at my brother because of it

I wish there was a support group for my mom because she spends most of her time with him...even helping with washing, dressing, combing his hair etc

[Guest g]

Penji,

Check out the following websites where your parents and yourself can get more support for caring for your brother. Hope this helps.

http://www.autism.or...and-carers.aspx

[DalbirSingh]

we disown them collectively