Marrying A Girl From India .... Oops?

[VanHelsingh]

.....Hope i didn't offend anyone been married with singhni from india for over 5 1/2 yrs.

You see, THIS is the issue. There's a HUGE difference between marrying a Singhni and marrying a normal "Sikh" girl.

[S1ngh]

You see, THIS is the issue. There's a HUGE difference between marrying a Singhni and marrying a normal "Sikh" girl.

Hanjee true but in this case i was the normal sikh guy. She came from a highly respected religious family and i came from a very liberal type of the family.. However we both took amrit in early 20's.. In marriage everyone should keep sikhi as the strong base when it comes to make decision in many family/financial/social matters. Sikhi inside is very important in order to run things smoothly. Practically following sikhi (even basic sgpc sikh code of conduct) will help young couples in this world to survive their marriage. Keeping faith in waheguru jee is very important whenever tough time comes.. i haven seen many of my friends marriage hitting the rocks and it is always about ego and culture taking over sikhi.

Other non-religious things to consider..

1. Same or similar background - If one lived his whole life in city and got together with someone from pind will face bit trouble water ahead.

2. Same or similar education background is also important. similar interests/hobbies.. it is very hard to click the relation when there are two totally opposing viewpoints.

3. Understand sikh/punjabi culture which means how to live with in-laws, respect elders and others etc..

[VanHelsingh]

Keeping faith in waheguru jee is very important whenever tough time comes.. i haven seen many of my friends marriage hitting the rocks and it is always about ego and culture taking over sikhi.

Yeah completely agree. Sadly, these days less and less married couples turn to Sikhi as a solution to their issues. Its particularly a problem when one side is heavily into religious Sikhi life whilst the other party thinks the whole thing is a joke. It would be nice if people were honest before marriages were finalised instead of saying anything to obtain a potential visa off the back of an overseas Sikh.

[Wicked Warrior]

This kind of news has been what has stopped me for looking for a wife from India. But by the same token, you don't know who you'll end up even if the girl was from the same country as you.

As above, marriage is a risk - one of the biggests risks you can take. A lot of people change after marriage - both the husband and the wife. By being strict from the start and assuming the worst, you are disrespecting your wife. She could be the best wife in the whole world but you'll have undermined her with your mentality. How would you feel if she thought like that about you?

You can't really stop those who plan to run off once they get their citizenship. IMO the law should be changed to combat this. But on the other hand, it needs to protect those people who are in a strange, new country, alone and without support. They are vulnerable.

Pray to the Guru, treat her with respect and hope for the best. Only He has the paper and the ink.