Bring Politics To The Gurudwara Sahib

[JSinghnz]

Problem 1:

• No Pugh on today's youth.
  Possible reasons:
  1. Patka Trend (My generation)- Youth wearing patka finds hard and embarrassing when time comes for them to wear Pugh. Find data locally to know that how many youth who wore patka successfully started wearing pugh. All my cousins were patka wearing and comes the 17th or 18th birthday they all choose to become mona. Some of my relatives are very firm in sikh values. They are not happy but at same they can't do anything.
  2. Never kept Kesh (Next generation)- Youth are not being guided properly as their parents are not aware of religious teachings and practices. Even if they are little bit aware of but due to lack of resources or efforts they couldn't teach their kids about Sikh dharam.
  

Solution: What it will be or should be ??

I am amused by your rationale about the patkas. What made you think that patka wearing kids found it hard and embarrassing to wear a pukh.

The reason I believe is that even if parents were firm in Sikh values, they did not inculcate the same values in their children. If our children are taught the basics about why we value our hair and how many sacrifices we have given to maintain our identity, they would never think of becoming mona.

[Wales85]

The only people to respond to these were mods/admins. The rest of the sangat that goes on and on about why we don't do anything. had nothing to say. First you guys don't talk, support and then you wonder why people don't do anything.

Something like RCIA (catholic instruction for adults) or perhaps regular lectures on Guru Granth Sahib Ji (like "bible study") would be hugely beneficial IMHO. Something where a more learned elder could discuss the fundamentals of the religion to those of us who were not born into it,and even those who were.

[S1ngh]

I think wales got a very good point. A program that focus on adults rather than doing focusing all on kids. I think there should be a balance as at the end, it will always be a parent who take care of the upbringing of kids.

I am amused by your rationale about the patkas. What made you think that patka wearing kids found it hard and embarrassing to wear a pukh.

The reason I believe is that even if parents were firm in Sikh values, they did not inculcate the same values in their children. If our children are taught the basics about why we value our hair and how many sacrifices we have given to maintain our identity, they would never think of becoming mona.

It depends on your society.. where i grew up, i know that most of my friends would find any possible reason to get haircut (this is very common situation in punjab). Between age range of 15 to 18ish, they all became monay; mostly against parent wishes. Huge majority of sikh youth do not have sangat nor interested in learning about our dharam.

Also patka is modern day invention; a more lazy lifestyle of our community. What will be next? banadana ? or open hair.. I think there are many reasons why kids do not want to wear pugh or keep hair when they reach the most trouble part of their life (teenager) and realize the materialistic world around you. btw i wore patka all my life and now i won't give this stupid culture to my kids in future..

What will be the basics of 'why we value our hair' that you will teach them? thats why we are here to walk the talk !

what should we teach to kids so that they can value our hair?

what should we teach to kids so that they don't do drugs or drink alcohol or smoke?

[JSinghnz]

I think wales got a very good point. A program that focus on adults rather than doing focusing all on kids. I think there should be a balance as at the end, it will always be a parent who take care of the upbringing of kids.

It depends on your society.. where i grew up, i know that most of my friends would find any possible reason to get haircut (this is very common situation in punjab). Between age range of 15 to 18ish, they all became monay; mostly against parent wishes. Huge majority of sikh youth do not have sangat nor interested in learning about our dharam.

Also patka is modern day invention; a more lazy lifestyle of our community. What will be next? banadana ? or open hair.. I think there are many reasons why kids do not want to wear pugh or keep hair when they reach the most trouble part of their life (teenager) and realize the materialistic world around you. btw i wore patka all my life and now i won't give this stupid culture to my kids in future..

What will be the basics of 'why we value our hair' that you will teach them? thats why we are here to walk the talk !

what should we teach to kids so that they can value our hair?

what should we teach to kids so that they don't do drugs or drink alcohol or smoke?

Please refrain from calling patka stupid. You have, I have and now my boys wear patkas to school. I live in a country which took me to towns in which my son was the only Sikh wearing a patka to his school. Rest all were your so called mona Sikh children. We as a family taught our young boy why we keep our hair. We taught him how proud are we to be Sikhs. We went to the school authorities and spoke to them about our religion, our beliefs and why our son has long hair and wears a patka. The school authorities made sure that everyone at school is made aware of our son's long hair and patka and that no one was to touch it. So the children learn from the parents and feel proud of their religion and are not afraid to stand out alone in a school with hundreds of other children with cut hair. Like I said earlier, it is the parents who have failed to infuse pride, knowledge and values of Sikhism in their children. And when the children become mona, it shows how weak their foundations were.

[Only five]

I think kids at a young age need to be taught about the Sikhs that gave their life for Sikhi. Sikhs like Baba Deep Singh ji, Bhai Mani Singh, Bhai Sati Das, Bhai Mati Das, Sant Baba Jarnail Singh ji Khalsa and others.

Kids need someone to look up too and actually look for someone they can copy. I know of a kid that has been introduced to Baba Deep Singh ji and Satguru Sri Guru Gobind Singh Sahib ji Maharaj life extensively at a very young age and he wants to live just like them every second. He was taught everything, from how Satguru and Baba ji dressed, to how they behaved with family members, friends, to their duties in the world to worshipping Akal Purakh. His interest and knowledge on both is amazing sight to see.

However the problem today is parents have gone to the extent of purposely cutting their young kids off from being introduced to Gurmukh role models because they don't want their kids to focus on Sikhi at a young age. Majority of the parents put importance of worldly education before Sikhi and say their child can learn about Sikhi later, if they want too. Some instance that are amazing to see is when parents don't practice Sikhi and can be parents that cut their hair and barely go to the Gurdwara or do paat, but if their kids are taught about Gurmukhs in detail, then these young kids will automatically want to copy these Gurmukhs lifestyle.

Simply telling a kid to do paat, doesn't put into context why they are doing it. They need a very detailed description of the reason to do paat and this is where the life of the Gurmukhs can be introduced. Instead of introducing kids to these fake superheros on tv, introduce them to the Gurmukhs that could with one blow pierce through plates and plates of metal and take out the target. Young kids need a motivation to do paat and these Gurmukhs accomplishments are the motivation. Get the young kids interested with the amazing stories of the Khalsa Panth and then teach them of how these amazing powers are attained.

Actually this way of teaching works with grown-ups as well. Adults like young kids need a target to accomplish and when some adults are taught about Gurmukhs lifestyle, they become Gurmukhs themselves and leave the alcohol and partying life behind. The teacher who gives these lessons can't be weak in rehat, if they are, then it shows and much of the lesson is lost.

[Only five]

Also patka is modern day invention; a more lazy lifestyle of our community. What will be next? banadana ? or open hair.. I think there are many reasons why kids do not want to wear pugh or keep hair when they reach the most trouble part of their life (teenager) and realize the materialistic world around you. btw i wore patka all my life and now i won't give this stupid culture to my kids in future..

And then the lazy habit of just tying a patka stick with the teen. Some of them keep it till they are in their late 20's. There must be a reform on this, where young kids are taught how to tie a dastar at a early age. And parents must get out of their lazy ways and start tying a dastar on their kids at a young age. Another problem here is that bibian don't learn how to tie the dastar, so instead they tie the patka on their kids, which they find easy to tie. The dad is at work by the time the kid has to go to school and can't tie it for him/her.

Punjabis mentality needs to be completely changed on this problem. Bibian and Singhs are equally responsible for tying the dastar (keeping the Sikhi Saroop). This double standard of bibian don't need to tie the dastar is hurting Sikhi.

[S1ngh]

I agree with Jsingh on how to be upfront with society when it comes to protecting sikh dharam and teaching that to kids practically is very important. Don't get me wrong, i did 3 yrs of high school in south and was the only "brown" youth in whole town. I wore my first turban on my first day tohigh school. been there and faced the challenges. I find the patka to turban transition very brutal and hard. Being from very traditional and gursikh minded family, hearing sakhian from mother and grandmother every night, going to gurdwara every other day in my childhood.. Even after all of this, I was having questions roaming around in my mind about the importance of kesh during that transition time from patka to turban. I was very determined that i would never ever rid of wearing patka lol.. My brother failed to go thru that process and became mona/patit...

My only and final point on this issue is that parents need to introduce turban/pugh to their kid at young age. Have them feel comfortable with turban. If you have patka wearing kid in your family then test them.. like tell them that "Tomorrow they are going to wear turban in middle/high school" and judge from their reaction.

Nicely put by OnlyFive. I also think that parents having some sort of pre-made templates (material/guidelines) on most issues would be helpful to those who are not well educated about our dharam. A regular sunday khalsa school teacher would probably help us in creating such guidelines because of their weekly interactions with several hundred of kids belonging to various backgrounds etc..

[Only five]

Last point, which will make me an open target for the liberal people, but it's got to be said.

One benti from the bibian. Stop paying soo much attention to your outer appearance (make up, waxing, jewellery, clothing).....Singhs don't care for this stuff and actually find it disgusting. Whatever is the reason your doing it.....the end result is Singhs are completely repulsed by it and are going to the extent of saying forget marriage, i don't need such problems in my life.

[JSinghnz]

Thanks S1ngh for clarifying your point. We as Sikhs have a responsibility towards our children to teach them the basics of Sikhism. We have to tell them clearly that patitpuna is not right, taking drugs is not right and so on.Even if we are living in Western countries, we have to teach the difference between the right and the wrong to our children. Otherwise how else would they know. Only five rightly says,"Simply telling a kid to do paat, doesn't put into context why they are doing it. They need a very detailed description of the reason to do paat and this is where the life of the Gurmukhs can be introduced."

Like you said earlier, let us walk our talk. Be fearless and your kids will not know fear. Lead by example so that the world realizes they are dealing with a Singh who respects all, fears none.

[JSinghnz]

And then the lazy habit of just tying a patka stick with the teen. Some of them keep it till they are in their late 20's. There must be a reform on this, where young kids are taught how to tie a dastar at a early age. And parents must get out of their lazy ways and start tying a dastar on their kids at a young age. Another problem here is that bibian don't learn how to tie the dastar, so instead they tie the patka on their kids, which they find easy to tie. The dad is at work by the time the kid has to go to school and can't tie it for him/her.

Punjabis mentality needs to be completely changed on this problem. Bibian and Singhs are equally responsible for tying the dastar (keeping the Sikhi Saroop). This double standard of bibian don't need to tie the dastar is hurting Sikhi.

I have to give this to you for being so original. Lol, "bibian don't learn how to tie the dastar, so instead they tie the patka on their kids." So instead of thanking the mothers for looking after the hair of their children so lovingly, washing the hair regularly, combing them regularly, you want them to tie the dastar for them too. The lazy fathers should not even fulfill their duties of teaching the art of tying a turban to their children.