Help Please - Sikh Sister Wants To Marry Hindu

[Guest SinghSoorma]

SSA, Please can you provide advice. I know this sikh sister who has become brainwashed by a Hindu man, he is 8 years older than her and has completely changed her. Before she used to be into Sikhi and used to attend the gudwara, she had strong family values.

After, talking to this man she has changed completely and no longer believes in going to the gudwara or sikhi. She has not yet married the man however he has told her family they can go to hell and that sikhism means nothing to him and he will do whatever he likes with their daughter.

The family are currently lost and powerless they pray everyday to waheguru to fix these issues but have now become very desperate and do not know how long they can carry on. I pray you can help and provide suggestions.

Many Thanks

Singh Soorma

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Singh ji,

Firstly you have to understand that these affairs don't happen Over Night.

If the parents were genuinely concerned then they should have kept a Check on the girl.

Secondly don't think you people are Residing in punjab, so forget about using force to convince them.

Thirdly what's the point of talking to the guy, just try to change girl's mindset.

Fourthly get someone Close to explain the problems and demerits of Mixed marriages.

Lastly if she is still determined then parents will just have to let her go.

Whether they keep relations with her or not is their personal matter, none should bother.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[Amrit]

I think this issue needs to be handled with pyar, arguing etc will escalate the problem. Talk to the girl in girl in question and try to understand what she is feeling, replacing any lies the Hindu man has told her about Sikhi etc with the truth. If she feels she has to make a choice between her family and the man she may well rebel. At least if a good relationship is maintained between the family and the girl they can keep an eye on her to make sure things don't get really bad with the man and if things do go wrong she does not feel isolated and has a way back.

[lotaya]

WGJKWGJKF ...

Try giving Sikh Help Line a call.

http://www.sikhhelpline.com/uk/index.php

If not any good then just contact me and I see if someone can provide you with some support. Thank you for highlighting this.

WGJKWGJKF

[Guest the one]

email sikhsupport@hotmail.com and wel sort it

[VanHelsingh]

Sir munae noo kanaiaa nahi daeni. Uos ghar daevni jithae Akal Purukh di sikhi ha, jo karzaai naa hovae, bhalae subhaa da hovae, bibaeki atae gyanvaan hovae -

Do not given a daughter's hand to a clean shaven. Give her hand in a house where God's Sikhi exists, where the household is not in debt, is of a good nature, is disciplined and knowledgeable.

That rules out most of the world, nevermind Sikhs. :biggrin2: Sadly good nature, discipline and knowledge is not valued by most people when looking for partners (be they males or females) these days. The draw of social and financial status are the primary driving forces behind marriages these days, especially outside of India.

Not that there's anything wrong with wishing to be upwardly mobile, but a lot of good yet simple (in terms of lifestyle not mental aptitude) people are overlooked for marriage in favour of relatively well-off yet crass and unreligious people (if you define 'religion' as all the best things a person should be)..

On a serious note I wonder how many Sikhs are aware of this hukamnama?

[Only five]

think about your sister's happiness first broski.

The guy doesn't even respect her parents, how much do you think he respects her? Happiness comes by following Sikhi. Gurbani clearly tells us, those that follow Guru Sahib's Hukams will be happy in life and those that go against the Hukams will be miserable for the rest of their lives. Which person in the world would be happy with a guy that has no regard for your parents, that raised you and did everything for you? Happiness comes with practicing Sikhi and Guru Sahib says a Sikh must marry a Sikh.

[Guest origin]

^^We're all the same, we're just at different stages of realising our origin again.

[KhalistaniGunMan]

to the Original Post....Say whatever you can to convince this sister not to go through with this marriage...when she realises what pain she brought to her parents..she will thank you for it

[VanHelsingh]

...the nurturing of a youth who hate the traditions, culture and religous practises of their ancestors and older generation... classifying it as backward and old fashioned...

Hmmm....this is something I've come to realise over the past 12 months. Its a policy the BBC is actively pursuing, particularly through it's Asian Network.

I use to think such talk was paranoid, etc., but I'm beginning to realise what is being done, and the jist of their activities have been perfectly summed up in the quote above: "Nurturing of a youth who - will learn - to hate the traditions, culture and religious practices of their ancestors". That's not to say we should not self-reflect and reject those practices and traditions within our culture that ARE incorrect and out-dated. However, I feel the emphasis is on wholesale rejection of our heritage and this makes me uncomfortable. The problem is that many of our people (including other categories of Asians) are falling for it.

But anyway this is a topic for another day.