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University And Weirdos

Guest GuptKaur

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Guest GuptKaur


Khalsa Ji,

As expected, being a girl who wears a dastar and keeps her kesh, I get the weirdest looks ever wherever I go. I thought that amongst my flats people would just get used to me but that's not the case. Some boys in particular give me really weird looks.

I thought my flatmates were all cool, they never say anything to my face. I know they find it weird that I get up early, they find it weird that I'm a virgin, and stuff like that. A couple of weeks ago I walked into the living room to get some paani and my flatmate was lying on the sofa under a blanket with some guy... they both looked at each other and laughed the whole time I was in the room; I thought, well, they're probably just laughing because this is an immensely awkward situation.

That guy my flatmate's been sleeping with came running up and down our corridor at 3am, drunk, continuously shouting my name (which evidentily shows that he must have asked my flatmate who I am etc) as if to make a joke out of the way I am... and saying "knock on her door, knock on her door, tell her to come out!" and laughing. My flatmate just laughed along with him and told him "noo"... he eventually gave up. What the hell. I was too worried to go out and have a shower, which is across the hall, for amrit vela because they were all lurking around being weirdos.

Another time, I forgot to lock my door, and some random guy who I've never seen before just walked into my room, said sorry and started laughing. Obviously that was my fault, I didn't lock my door.

It feels pretty weird being the joke of all the flats. I haven't been off with everyone, I've been nice to everyone and I'm constantly helping my flatmates out if they need help, money, food, whatever. I guess I just didn't expect uni students to be so two faced and shallow... I should add that I'm the only Singhni in all my of the flats, if it wasn't obvious lol.

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To an insane person everything a sane person does is insane and humorous. Would you care what an insane person thought of you? Guroo Maharaj tells us:

ਬਿਨੁ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸਭੁ ਜਗੁ ਬਉਰਾਨਾ ॥

Bin Sathigur Sabh Jag Bouraanaa ||

Without the True Guru, the whole world is insane.

ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਅੰਧਾ ਸਬਦੁ ਨ ਜਾਣੈ ਝੂਠੈ ਭਰਮਿ ਭੁਲਾਨਾ ॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Manamukh Andhhaa Sabadh N Jaanai Jhoothai Bharam Bhulaanaa || Rehaao ||

The blind, self-willed manmukhs do not realize the Word of the Shabad; they are deluded by false doubts. ||Pause|| (Ang 604)

Maharaj says:

ਕਰਤੂਤਿ ਪਸੂ ਕੀ ਮਾਨਸ ਜਾਤਿ ॥

Karathooth Pasoo Kee Maanas Jaath ||

They belong to the human species, but they act like animals.

ਲੋਕ ਪਚਾਰਾ ਕਰੈ ਦਿਨੁ ਰਾਤਿ ॥

Lok Pachaaraa Karai Dhin Raath ||

They curse others day and night. (Ang 267)

Ask yourself; those who engage freely in lust with whoever, intoxicate themselves, eat corpses and do not even look after their bodies (Kesha di beadbi, etc), are they acting like animals or humans? What understanding let alone respect could they have of someone living a truthful lifestyle? They can't comprehend anything without Guru Sahib.

Next time you are in this situation, put on your bana and a nice 2 foot sri sahib in your gatra and walk like a proud singhni of dasam patsha, do not give a second thought to jackals let alone fear them.

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ਮਨਮੁਖ ਸਉ ਕਰਿ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਸੁਖ ਕਿ ਪੁਛਹਿ ਮਿਤ ॥

Manamukh So Kar Dhosathee Sukh K Pushhehi Mith ||

If you make friends with the self-willed manmukhs, O friend, who can you ask for peace?

ਗੁਰਮੁਖ ਸਉ ਕਰਿ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸਉ ਲਾਇ ਚਿਤੁ ॥

Guramukh So Kar Dhosathee Sathigur So Laae Chith ||

Make friends with the Gurmukhs, and focus your consciousness on the True Guru.

(Ang 1421)

Other than that work on your naam abhiyas/simran so much that you eminate a glow and a presence that even non-Gursikhs can feel. Try to share accomodation with Gursikhs instead. If there are not enough gursikhs at your uni perhaps you could share with those from nearby unis. Also note, while you had expectations of non-sikhs at uni to be respectful of you, you may be thinking that 'sikhs' will be respectful, be aware that although there will be some who do respect, many (most likely the majority) will be exactly the same as the non-sikhs you have encountered. Those who stick to the true guru in this world are extremely rare, but these rare people are gems keeping the earth standing otherwise it would have destroyed itself among all the sin taking place on it. Keep it in your mind to only care about the sangat of such people and carry on being one of these people yourself!

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In case u haven't already noticed, it is the outcasts that make it in far on the path. To step onto the path of Sat, is the first step we take on becoming the outcast that is the Bhagat- the further we go in bhagti, the more outcast we become. The people of demonic mindsets and false appeal may go crazy with our very presence(sensing the Truth/God energy)- they went so far as to torture the most beautiful Beings(gurus, brahmgyanis)- but no matter what happens, we do not deviate off the path, we remain calm and balanced and face our karmas in Truth as the Gurus and bhagats before us did. We remember this is just a khel, recognise the communication and lessons god is putting forward, detach and move on.

Baba Nanak got called a madman, a fool, a demon he got slandered by his own family. The bhagats got called all kinds of things- slander is slander, it does not matter what is said- what you are going through is no different to what other bhagats have gone through and are currently going through.

Think of your situation this way:

In Sachkandh, slander is a great great crime. Gurbani speaks about the slanderer and the punishment of all slanderers(not just slanderers of saints but all people) so often, it is hard to count.

Every single person who has laughed at you, judged you, thought badly of you in any way (unless you have committed a sin of some type for them to judge you in a negative manner), has acted in a way that makes them absolutely no different to a demon residing in hell. In the spiritual world, the slanderers face is blackened as described in Gubani. And I mean this literally, their astral bodies become black, they take your cr*p, (your misdeeds and bad karma etc) and it sticks to them, furthermore they give you their bhagti in more than 1 sense. They have a deep rooted mental illness that makes them act the way they do- their jealousy makes them slander you- there is so much happening in the spiritual realm when slander happens, they probably don't even realise they are out of control and what the consequences will be- that is why they're fools.

Every single time you are slandered, you are being blessed beyond measure(and the best slanderers are the ones at home- or in your case, in halls :) ). So in your heart, bow at your slanderers feet, and thank them- and learn the lesson gods teaching you in the moments you are being slandered. To detach from all the sh*te, from the falsity of the khel. He is showing the filth of this age and the demonic mindsets that make Kalyug what it is. He is telling you to Leave(detach)- He cannot be more clear in His message- all the negtivity is just Him teaching you and telling you to detach.

Attune yourself to His name which is the Truth(through naam simran). Live Nirvair- see all as One, He has no image, no form, He is the purest, most humble Nothingness- we are Him so we have the same attributes really-

The images of these demons is false, the imagery you see all around you is false, the sounds, smells, things you can touch= False.

Detach from the crap and apply this gyan always(remember it whilst attuning yourself to it/ Naam/Truth) and leave the bull behind. Whilst you walk among them and feel and hear their negativity, detach as the Gurus and Brahmgyanis did.

One of our bhagats did not cry when some of his loved ones died, but cried when his greatest slanderer died- slanderers actually make this path easier- without dukhi unless we're in a higher level of bhagti, we do not usually turn to Him.

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Okey Im just gonna talk from experience from living in halls during Uni and visiting many friends at different halls/Unis I can relate to how your feeling...

It is difficult!

Now if there has only ever been 2 incidents I would just brush it off! Their most likely drunk... carry on doing your normal routine! A lot of the time I found with some of my friends in an attempt to avoid such people they isolated themselves in their own room! Only cooking when no-one else was in the kitchen, staying in their room all the time! Uni is about meeting different people... therefore you will be doing your flatmates a favour by educating them in being confident around them even if they find you "weird"! Eventually they will be used to you and Amritdhari Sikhs in general and respect you massively...

What uni do you go? Bring friends round from your course preferably so from the same uni... they might be friends friends so if there is any further problems in the future or they unknowlingly ignorant... some can have a word!

If anything the girl that is your flatmate was probably embarrassed by the incident...

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Just a different opinion:You should stand up for yourself and have a word with them and state (nicely) you feel you are being disrespected. Otherwise you may well be the butt of jokes for the rest of the year.

Also. Just because your lifestyle is different to theirs does not mean you have to come across as weird or an outsider. You still need to be able to have a laugh and relate to them regardless - ignore the above posts - it is not OK to be treated as an outcast - either work on improving your personality to relate better to people and be more fun to be around, or perhaps your flatmates are all generally nasty people ( unlikely if its more than 1 or 2 of them doing this ) .

I think this shows why it isn't always right for amritdhari singhnis to live alone, in mixed accomodation with boys. Puratan gursikhs would be shocked at the idea of a khalsa singhni being in such a situation in the first place.

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Guest kuclmgahdgnv,ngh

I think you need to be more confident. If someone was running up and down the corridor at stupid o'clock I would have gone out and told them to shut up. When your flatmates boyfriend was calling your name in the corridor, you should have asked him what his problem was. Be nice to people, but at the same time don't let them take the mick out of you. If they think you're soft they'll just do whatever the hell they want and treat you like rubbish.

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The bhagat is outcast- they may mix with others, but they remain detached, they remain in the work of of silencing the mind 24/7- they are of the same as other bhagats for other bhagats also live to glorify the Truth.

Yes standing up for yourself and speaking the truth is a great part of the path- teaching others to be better people is a great thing, but why not speak the actual Truth to them as per Gurbani, I.e Teach them more about slander and sin and how it is viewed in Gurbani etc- doesn't matter if they're white, black or red, Sat is the same for everyone, everywhere.

Who cares what others think of you, Gurbani says to give The Guru our head and pay no attention to public opinion. Yes we laugh and joke around with others, but we remain detached in Truth whilst doing this and living natural life- we do not change our personality to please others, that is worship of others. This entire path is devotion to God, not to people living in their worldly knowledge(manmat). Everything we do is to please Him, to worship, exalt and glorify the Truth- not ourselves or others.

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