Long Term Future For Me And My Jamaican Partner

[Guest _M_]

Hi All,

I've been with my Jamaican partner for a few years, and she was raised as a Christian, though she is not practising. We've discussed the topic of marriage and over the years she has learnt more about Sikhi and has said that she would convert if it would make our marriage easier. I have said that I do not want her to convert for me, but that the most important thing for me is that out children are raised Sikh, and she has said that she's OK with this.

How would this be looked upon? I know my parents would not be happy initially, but this would be more to do with the colour of her skin (she's mixed - mainly Black + Spanish, Scottish, and Chinese) rather than her religion.

I would still spend my life learning more about Sikhi, and I know she would happily join me along with our children...so does that make me a bad Sikh?

M

[VanHelsingh]

Our community is an unforgiving, hypocritical bunch at the best of times, so best not to concern yourself with what we think.

Nice to read you wish to raise your kids as Sikhs, but I reckon it would be better if your missus also became Sikh; best not to send mixed messages to the kids and all that. Although I'm not sure you can "become" Sikh without taking Amrit so I wouldn't know how that would work. Unless it's a case of adding 'Kaur' to official documentation, etc?

As for being a 'bad Sikh' I guess most of us are bad Sikhs in our own unique ways. The aim is to become better Sikhs.

[RebelSingh]

as long as she converts and ur kids r sikhs, i dont think its a problem, tbh, coz r religion isnt restricted 2 jus panjabis.

jus waitin 4 the pappus 2 cuss me now

[chatanga]

if she is new to Sikhi from another faith, then she is what is classed as Sehajdhari. There is nothing wrong in marrying her, from a Gurmat point of view, but its best if your parents are ok with it. Screw the rest of the community.

[Sherdil]

You are not a bad Sikh! You care about your kids' Sikh upbringing. That is great! If your partner wants to become a Sikh, then that is also good news! It means you both are on the same page.

A Sikh does not discriminate based on skin color, caste, or creed. It shouldn't matter what race she is.

A Sikh is anyone who believes in the mool mantar and lives their life according to the teachings of the Gurus and the Guru Granth Sahib, with the end goal of realizing God and thus achieving liberation. Taking Amrit shows a dedication to this path, because you are essentially making a formal promise to the Guru.

[Guest _M_]

I have not taken Amrit, I do plan to, but right now I have not. I was born into a Sikh family but not really taught much about Sikhi (Father had cut hair and was also born in this country (UK) so is very western), and what I did learn was from my Mother. I've learnt more and more as I've gotten older, and now I'm approaching 30 I have a hunger to learn more and am doing so off my own back.

My partner and I have experienced a lot of racism from my Sikh brothers and especially from my Sikh sisters when visiting Gurdwara's or out and about, and I've seen a very ugly side to our community that I feel ashamed of and one that has brought her to tears on more than one occasion. The fact that she tolerates this and stays with me makes me feel empowered and certain that she's the one I'm meant for.

All I hope is that I become a better Sikh every day, and that my Partner and kids share that journey with me.

Onwards and upwards.

_M_

[chatanga]

why have the "brothers and sisters" given u a hard time?

cos she is black?

cos she is interested in sikhi?

what?

[Guest _M_]

why have the "brothers and sisters" given u a hard time?

cos she is black?

cos she is interested in sikhi?

what?

As I said, racism. And it's by no means from everyone...just more than I would have expected.

[panther]

Dude we all support u + your future wife. Don't trip on the fools that are hatin on u.

You + your wife are better Sikhs than them (as racists ain't fit to even be called Sikh)

[kullykhalsa]

im not really sure how this is different to any of the other interfaith marriages that the singhs/singhnia have stopped in recent times.

You have said she is willing to convert to make the marriage easier but obviously that isnt a good way to start a marriage (kinda a facade to make it easier). You have said she has learnt about sikhi which is very cool and tolerant but if after learning she doesnt want to become a sikh herself then she shouldnt be forced to to make the marriage easier, just as you outlined above.

in any case i dont think your a bad sikh and wish you and your missus a great future.

p.s all the racism is disgusting and well done for keeping your head held high